Full disclosure: I was that kid who never got in trouble. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen the principal’s office but only because I wasn’t wearing school-sanctioned pants (Catholic school, yo). I just never did anything to get me in serious trouble least my parents ever found out. Looking back, I wish I did cause more of a ruckus and hopefully, would’ve landed in detention for something as amazing as “got caught posting unapproved ‘mudkip’ posters around the school.” Alas, I grew up only to write about the 11 badasses who got these amazing detention slips.
2. Wizards rule, muggles droolz!
3. Never back down
4. I AM THE CHOSEN ONE!
Do you ever find yourself going crazy because of all the stupid people who are somehow surrounded by? Are you tired of having to face palm every time that idiot in your political science class raises their hand to repeat everything the professor just said but does it with a question mark at the end? Are you sick of all those people who yell “YOLO” as they perform acts of stupidity?
If so, creative production company Sleepthinker has come up with a solution: a fictitious pill to lower your IQ.
Instead of getting rid all those frustrating people, you just become one of them! You’ll lose your sense of fear, dignity and self-awareness but now you will finally be able to write a bad rap song and set your farts on fire. You can’t be annoyed by what you have just become because all we really want in life is to fit in, right? Right, guys? right?….
WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW:
Last night’s episode of SNL not only marked the moment when Maroon 5’s Adam Levine “overreached and tried acting” (his words, not mine) to host the live sketch show, but also the return of Andy Samberg, Jorma Taccone and Akiva Schaffer, a.k.a. the Lonely Island.
And hallelujah and thank the lords because there hasn’t been a good digital short since Samberg and crew left the show last year (except for maybe Taran Killam’s “Sloppy Swish”).
This time around, the boys of Lonely Island turned the tables on last year’s beloved catchphrase, “YOLO,” with assistance from Levine and musical guest Kendrick Lamar. Though instead of going balls to the wall, they advise against stupidity because hey, you only live once, right?
Their sage wisdom via song includes:
Thanks Lonely Island, for digging deep into my paranoia. It only justifies my reasoning to stay at home because a piano might just fall on my head the moment I walk out the door.
Watch “YOLO” by Lonely Island feat. Adam Levine and Kendrick Lamar below:
Looks like Drake is truly living up to his motto.
With his hit “The Motto” making the acronym YOLO (you only live once) an annoyingly pervasive phrase for the past year, Drake thinks he is entitled to a pay cheque with his famous tagline appearing on merchandise everywhere.
Spending his Christmas Eve strolling around Macy’s and Walgreens, the rapper took a couple of pictures on his Instagram page to show his dismay with the label appearing on clothing such as hats and T-shirts.
Under the image from Walgreens, which features a stack of tacky caps, Drake wrote, “Walgreens … you gotta either chill or cut the cheque.”
And under the photo from Macy’s, which features a T-shirt featuring Peanuts characters Charlie Brown and Snoopy, he added, “Macy’s … same goes for you.”
I can’t even blame Drake for being offended. Seeing Snoopy and Charlie Brown used like that is JUST disrespectful.
But even if Drake is planning to ask for the rights to “YOLO”, the rapper might run into some trouble. According to Gawker, there has been already more than 100 U.S. trademark applications to use the acronym on an array of different products.
But honest to God, if I see another shirt or hat with the tagline YOLO on it, I’m going to have a fit.
HIT: Beyoncé directing HBO Doc on Herself
We’re already predicting that Queen Bey will OWN 2013. On top of headlining the Super Bowl half-time show and reportedly releasing new music in the next year, she’ll now also direct an HBO documentary on herself. Between her and Jay Z (you’ve seen this adorable video of him talking to an old lady on the subway, right?), there’s no doubt Blue Ivy will be an ambitious, thoughtful young lady.
MISS: Channing Tatum to Take a Break from Acting
According to Entertainment Weekly, Mr. Sexiest Man of the Year has decided to take a year-long break in the near future to focus on finding a project to direct with his production partner. Take a deep breath, ladies, here’s a tissue. It’s just a break. After the kind of year Tatum has had (pretty much a movie every two months), you wouldn’t want to see him overexposed and burned out, right? Anyways, four for you, Channing Tatum. You go, Channing Tatum.
HIT: GIFs of Justin Timberlake During his Male Pageant Days
Go call Honey Boo Boo Child and tell her all future pageants are cancelled because Justin Timberlake just won all the awards (even though this took place years ago, but we’ll ignore that)! Thanks to the lovely folks at Buzzfeed, we can now marvel as Timberlake coyly plays with the audience during his young pageant days. Together now: I can’t even. This is too precious. SQUEAL!
MISS: Jayden Smith Claims his Instagram was Hacked after a Hateful Comment Read more…
This sketch put together by Satire is somewhere in between a funny parody and a serious PSA. YOLO might be an acronym young people use to justify all the risky decisions they make on Friday night (aka “Should I get a nipple piercing? YOLO!”) but for adults the term is more significant. For adults, it’s about life and death.
Acronyms make me feel uncool. Not that they directly bully me or call me vial names, but they change so often that I can’t keep up. Someone will text me something long and obscure like: ICWTSY and I have to google it, my self-esteem plummeting with every search engine hit. See? I just made the “I Can’t Wait To See You” (ICWTSY) acronym up and you were probably all like WHA? That’s how I feel on a daily basis.
Anyway, these guys from CollegeHumor decided to take YOLO (You Only Live Once) to the next level by creating some new pseudonyms around it, including YOYOKO ONOSOCO: “You’re Only Yoko Ono, So Chill Out.” Finally, acronyms that will legit make my life so much easier. If I can remember them.
Watch it here: