Watch this guy cry for his dad and mom after a serious bench pressing fail. With every scream comes more urgency, more laughs, and some fear that this guy might actually hurt himself. Its more funny than scary, especially if you find wannabe macho men crying and screaming for help amusing. I hope this guys mommy or daddy eventually comes to help him out.  I really want to make an LMFAO “I work out” pun, but words escape me. The fail is just too great a fail.

If you’re a fan of New Girl like I am, you’ll know that proud douche Schmidt used to be very insecure and overweight when he was younger. Since he’s a wealth of useless advice, Vulture asked the illustrator Jon Defreest to re-imagine the television character as a Richard Simmons-style gym instructor, as seen above.

Schmidt responded with an unintentionally funny video of him quad-dominating the class of booted-off character Coach. Nothing screams douche like a guy working out to David Guetta’s “Turn Me On,” wearing pants that are way too tight.

Watch it below: