via doncasturbate.tumblr.com
What happens when you face swap Niall Horan and Ellen Degeneres? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
There seems to be some unsaid rules about 21st century relationships that happen to live on social media.
According to social media, Facebook wants to know everything about your relationship. It wants to know when you’re having issues in your relationships, and it wants to know how much you miss your significant other. Therefore, statuses like “Missing you” or “thinking about you” are apparently mandatory and will consequently annoy the hell out of your friends.
Twitter kindly asks that in 140 characters or less you quote cute things your significant other says in order to remind the world you are in a relationship. (Just don’t forget to hashtag #cuterelationshipthings)
Also, follow back or it’s over.
It’s hard to imagine Tumblr as part of this social media relationship how-to guide, but lo, it is. Post often, and reblog from your significant others regularly to show how much you love and care about them. I mean, you could take the anonymous route as you chronicle the ups and downs of your relationship in a top secret Tumblr, while at the same time, taking some unsolicited advice from the blogging community. It’s just not advisable, especially if your significant other finds said blog. Relationship=over.
But just in case you have a little difficulty in navigating the murky waters of modern day relationships,
HERE ARE THE KEYS TO A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP VIA SOCIAL MEDIA:
Reblogging means that the love is real
No relationship is real until it is Facebook official
Public confessions of love on your Facebook wall are absolutely necessary (just don’t listen to your exasperated friends. Who cares what the haters say, amirite?)
Do not move on from any obstacle in a relationship before informing Facebook
I don’t know what it’s like for American colleges, but in Canada, finals for most universities and colleges start right after Easter weekend. This is probably the WORST IDEA EVER because all anyone wants to do during your long weekend is get fat, eat chocolate and possibly get a drink (or five) with their friends. Basically, NOT STUDY.
Because these are the things we end up doing while we “study” anyways:
1. Take a Nap
This. Need. Now.
2. Make a snack
It’s called brain food.
3. Clean
But it’s more like the 1 hour tidy because you decided cleaning the washroom for the first time in a year was a good idea.
4. Scroll through Tumblr
5. Watch every video from your favourite YouTube vlogger
Oh, we’re over here.
6. Eat more food
We already know that Tumblr is this weird yet magical place. It’s a place that continues to surprise, mystify and teach us. It’s also a place that takes its fandoms seriously and it kind of gets a little weird.
Case in point: this is what you get when you Google “Tumblr” and “Sloths.” Yeah, the Tumblr sloth fandom balls so hard.
1. Astronaut Sloth
To replace astronaut Mike Dexter, the man of your dreams.
2. Dolphin Sloths
3. One Direction Sloths
As fans of site, we have to admit that Tumblr is indeed a really weird place. It’s like fans of just about any community — be it cats, One Direction, Doctor Who, pr0n—naturally gravitate to to the site. We can blog or reblog for days just about anything and everything. Is it cute? Reblog? Funny? Reblog. Social activism in blog form? Reblog.
But just in case you’re still clueless as to the oddity that happens on Tumblr, College Humor basically hit it on the head with this diddy. Watch as your Tumblr dashboard gets animated and sings just about everything that happens on Tumblr.
Hours after a meteor struck Russia, Redditors and Tumblr users have already started making the obligatory Russian Meteor memes. The meteor shattered about 30-50 kilometers above the ground and injured more than 1100 people.
Do you think the memes are too soon? Here are some of the ones trending online right now. [Daily Dot]
Like, leave me alone please
Valentine’s Day isn’t for everyone, especially those who much rather enjoy the single life. Some reasons why one is single is: they can’t date their favourite celebrity, they can’t date the internet, or they can’t date themselves. The media basically showered us all with high expectations that are almost impossible to meet. If you believe all of that, plus what you’ve seen in Disney films, good luck finding the special one. [heavens-1n-your-eyes]
Celeb-inspired Valentine’s card
Remember when you were little and Valentine’s Day was a huge deal because of all the fun classroom activities that were to come? You’d go to the store with your parents and pick up a box of cards of your choice — most likely relating to your favourite TV show or a bunch of cute animals. Throw all of that aside and give this Snoop Lion card to the boy of your dreams. [bunnyyears]
Bieber > Everyone else
Not only does he write and sing songs that make you wanna melt, Justin Bieber always gives his Beliebers the attention they deserve, especially when it comes to replying to them on Twitter. Justin even serenaded us all with a sexy Valentine’s Day message during his Saturday Night Live gig this week. All I can say is look at this YOLO moment one fan wrote, and the best part is that he agreed! [last-bye]
Make your mouth water
One of my favourite things to eat (and I’m being totally serious) is Nutella. But what would make a Nutella sandwich even better? Strawberries of course! Not fully covered but it’s kinda like Hannah Montana where you get the best of both worlds. [ohsweetbasil]
Play your way out of a text
Chances are: You once had a creepy guy send you a message like this, which then made you wanna gag a little and then not even recall giving him your number. Whatever you do, get out of it and quick. [makemestfu]
Spice up your wardrobe
Who really cares about lingerie when you can go on a spring shopping spree and buy cute skinny jeans and casual shirts to flaunt during the month of February? I know it might be a little cold but once in a while you can bare through it and look super cute! [yourfashioninspiration]
Or just walk around wearing this
I mean if you’re THAT desperate for a Valentine, wear this sweater in a public place (ie. at school, the mall) and see what options come up to you. Hopefully it’s not the same creepy dude who was sending you that late night, unwanted text! [instagram-lovely]
What the day is actually called
For all you single people out there, Feb. 14 is just another day alone. But don’t put yourself down too harshly. Buy yourself a box of chocolate and continuously eat them until you don’t feel lonely anymore. [ladieslaughing]
Curl up on your couch and watch a movie because what else could be better? You could get all hopeless-romantic and turn on The Notebook or go the other direction and watch a hilarious comedy. [attributive]
Destiny’s Child
Kelly, Michelle and Beyonce, I don’t think you can handle this? The fierce trio always sported matching outfits, and I secretly wanted to be the fourth member, even if that meant me being backup to Queen B (I totally wouldn’t care). The girls recently released a new song, with many fans rejoicing. Beyonce is set as a performer at the SuperBowl half-time show, causing lots of speculation whether the three of them will perform together then. Michelle Williams gave the disappointing news on a radio interview saying, “It is rumored.” Throwback to some of their best jams: “Say My Name,” “Bootylicious,” and “Survivor.”[beyhive1992]
N*SYNC
Don’t tell me you never owned any of the the guy’s famous puppet dolls, replicated from their second studio album, “No Strings Attached.” If anyone else is waiting for some type of reunion to happen, let me know because I’ll actually do anything I can to make it happen. N*SYNC was actually my very first concert and Justin was my first crush (not Bieber). With Justin Timberlake now having his own musical comeback, the odds are slim that a reunion will happen anytime soon. Sigh… Throwback to some of their best jams: “Bye Bye Bye,” “Gone,” and “Tearin’ Up My Heart.” [nsyncishere]
Backstreet Boys Read more…
LOHANTHONY
If you think you can twerk, don’t even try to compare yourself to Anthony or you might end up in utter embarrassment. With inspirations like Lana Del Rey and Britney Spears, there’s no surprise where this cutie gets his fierce attitude from. One thing to avoid being is a “basic b*tch” what he explains as: someone who does what everyone else is doing and isn’t their own person at all. Watch out for this diva in the future, and remember to be yourself! [lohanthony]
ItsKingsleyBitch
With over 200 million YouTube views and 850,000 Twitter followers, Kingsely will tell you how it is, and you won’t take offence to it. We’ve seen all types of props: hats, towels and wigs, but not all good things come to an end. You can get to know him better in various Q&A videos, or see a whole other side to him (literally) in Really B – involving three alter-egos that might remind you of your BFF. [impulsive-and-inlove]
SantagatoTV
No, this isn’t Vinny from the Jersey Shore but I’m sure he gets that a lot. Meet 20-year-old Joe from Queens, NY and if you like what you see, you can basically have a date with him every Tuesday night when he uploads a new YouTube video. His rants are so relatable that I usually laugh hard enough to end up crying. He often invites his hilarious friends and family in his videos as well. Flashback to the 90s, high school problems and your first date are just some of his funny video topics. [jsantagatogifs]
JennaMarbles Read more…
JT’s bringing sexy back, again
I’m so ready for new music this year, especially from hit-maker/hottie Justin Timberlake. In his open letter, he wrote: “This year is an exciting one for me. As you probably have heard through the “grapevine,” I’m gearing up for a big 2013.” Not gunna lie, I was a total *NSYNC fan girl and I miss those years so dearly. There has been much mixed reviews about his new single “Suit & Tie” featuring Jay-Z but just wait people, JT does not disappoint. [2x04]
And that’s a wrap
Basically there’s two types of Tumblr users: The ones who have an account but don’t want anyone to know about it, or the ones who post their link everywhere! Next time someone who is not a Tumblr expert asks what’s beyond the Tumblr log in page, this picture pretty much sums it up. [ch0col4te-chip]
Things just got a little bit more wild
The Wanted made their way onto the red carpet at the People’s Choice Awards last week and were clearly their usual self, which we love. They picked up “Breakout Artist” and I truly believe they deserved it. While the other band members made their way back to the UK, Nathan Sykes stayed in LA to work in the studio for their new album. I cannot wait. [stefyandkrasy]
Meow…
There’s always that one friend on any social media website that posts adorable pictures of their cat, and you can’t resist. I wonder if this person’s tattoo is some sort of kitten obsession? [kitsunekenta]
Wake up to heaven in a bowl
Every night before I go to bed, I have to have my cookies and milk. No, I’m not eight-years old but I sure do love my chocolate chips. When I came across this amazing invention, of putting mini cookies in a bowl of milk, I shed a tear. There’s nothing I love more than food and I’m about to run through my grocery store to make this happen tomorrow morning. [inhalekidcudi]
WTF texts Read more…
Recover from last night’s party
Whether you were celebrating with friends, family, or woke up with the person you met last night, it’s time to get back to reality. School starts back next week and you probably have a work shift to get to. 2012 was fun while it lasted, but make sure 2013 is even more memorable! [getinmystockingleo]
Be kinder to others
Okay admit it, Mean Girls is hands down one of your favourite movies, am I right? Even though the whole flick is hilarious, you could learn a few lessons. If there’s a new student transferring from Africa (or anywhere else) be the bigger person and let them sit with you! In the end, nobody likes a “Regina George.” [photographyxox]
Cut down on the calories
I get it. That chocolate bar is tempting. Those chips are addicting. Those cookies smell so fresh. But guess what, 6-months down the line will be summer and you’re gunna be kicking yourself wishing you DIDN’T eat what you did months ago. Be prepared to show off that beach bod. [debramorgan]
Start off your new semester with a bang Read more…
One week til Christmas!
Hopefully you have gifts sorted out, stocking hung up, lights turned on, tree looking extra snazzy, ugly sweater hanging up, cookies waiting for Santa, fireplace lit, cookies baking and holiday music playing because we are one week away until the happiest day of the year — Christmas! [4uroras]
Well it’s 2012..
You’d think by now, children would be able to text Santa what they want for Christmas. As sad as it sounds, who wants to sit down and write with a pen and paper? It seems as though even my youngest cousins at 3-years-old already has an iPod touch! [miapam]
Rocking in the holidays with Bieber
Justin Bieber was on The Ellen Show Friday and not only did he perform an amazing acoustic performance, he spilled some news! This January, you can expect more music, with a brand new acoustic album! BRB I need a moment to take this in. [infinatemistake]
Traditional treats Read more…
Victoria Abraham defines one up and coming artist each week so you can impress your friends with your musical brilliance. This week, she tackles Kitty Pryde, a female rapper from Florida.
Any female rapper named after a badass comic book character who manages to look like a real person as opposed to a caricature (ahem Nicki Minaj) deserves to be heard. Luckily, Kitty Pryde’s lyrics and appearance bring a realness that makes you want to listen. Her “I don’t really care, this is a funny joke” attitude and apparent lack of desire to “make it,” somehow add to her appeal, making more of a statement about the power of the Internet and fame, rather than any definitive statement about white girl rappers.
Origins: Daytona Beach, Florida
Full name: Kathryn Beckwith
Known for: Kitty is known for rapping as if she is talking in a hypnotic baby voice.
Used in a sentence: Whether it’s her Pippi Longstocking appearance, or her frankness in interviews, there is something endearing about Kitty Pryde.
File next to: Jokers in Trousers, Hot Sugar, Kreayshawn
Download now: “Okay Cupid”
Five fun facts:
1. Kitty was part of the comedy hip hop group Jokers in Trousers when she caught the eye of rapper Riff Raff, which lead to the single “Orion’s Belt.”
2. Her stage name is a direct reference to the X-Men superhero.
A stylish monkey wearing a shearling coat was spotted in the parking lot of a Toronto Ikea store yesterday and quickly became a social media sensation on Twitter and Tumblr. The monkey was found around 2 pm around Leslie Street and Highway 401, though no one knew where he came from.
Animal control arrived by 3 pm and the owners were finally located inside the store. Although the case was closed, these memes will last forever.
See more below
If you haven’t heard the news, Harry Styles and Taylor Swift were (GASP) photographed together in NYC’s Central Park on Sunday, leading a lot of fans to conclude the One Direction member is dating the Red singer. Some more context: This wasn’t the first time they were photographed together, in fact, rumours about them dating have been swirling for months.
Fans decide to nickname the hypothetical couple “Haylor” and quickly shared their feelings about their probably non-existant relationship status on Twitter and Tumblr. To be fair, many of the fan reactions were positive or as positive as a fangirl can be (“I don’t like them together but I still won’t ship Haylor”). Still, for every forgiving fangirl there are a few Directioners that just weren’t happy.
Here are the top fan reactions to Haylor:
Anger:
Conspiracy theories:
More conspiracy theories: Read more…
In a special Thanksgiving treat for fans, Beyonce and Jay-Z have shared some rare pictures of their 10-month-old daughter Blue Ivy.
In one of the photos, Beyonce poses with her little girl dressed in a blue (naturally) outfit. Although Blue is not facing the camera, we can just tell this little girl is going to have the best style like her mama! In a second shot, Bey also posted a black and white snapshot of her hubby Jay-Z carrying Blue Ivy through a garden.
Writing a letter to fans, the singer wrote, “From my family to yours. Wishing you a Happy and Healthy Thanksgiving.”
I seriously CANNOT get over how adorable this family is. They seem like the epitome of class.
You’re coming with me mom!
Justin Bieber took home all three of his nominations at the American Music Awards Sunday night: Pop/Rock Male, Pop/Rock Album for Believe and Artist of the Year. He decided to bring up the most important woman in his life, his momma Pattie Mallette. Easy on the arms Justin, we know you’ve been working out and everything but she’s so fragile! Congrats! [christmaslove]
Story of my life
If you’re someone like me, I spend practically 90 percent of my money on concert tickets. It’s quite sad when you think about it, but hey, it’s spent on my idol and I’m never gonna forget it. Did you hear ANDPOP is giving away tickets to see Justin Bieber on his Believe Tour in Toronto Dec. 1? Make sure you enter before it’s too late! Good Luck. [opparr]
Always picking on Nath..
Sure Nathan may be the youngest member of The Wanted, but he proved himself in their newest music video, “I Found You.” I’m just waiting for the day he can sucker punch one of them just for the hell of it. I’m sure they won’t take it so harshly anyways. All the guys have great personalities! [redvelvetlipsbreakingallrules]
Rice krispies to the next level
Let’s be real, who doesn’t like a yummy winter treat? Instead of making the plain old square rice krispies, turn it into a little snowman and decorate it with candy or chocolate of your choice. It doesn’t get any better than that. [under-the-m1stletoe]
The cure to all problems
There’s one lyrical genius who can turn any situation upside down, and help you feel like you’re in a happy place again. Some call him “Ginger Jesus,” but Ed Sheeran is definitely one to look out for. He’ll be touring alongside Taylor Swift on ‘The Red Tour’ starting next year. [sup-maggie]
Which young celebrity couples do you miss? Read more…
Adele may already be an award-winning singer, a new mom and one of the most successful songwriters in the past two years. But do you think she could take on a new role? Perhaps, …Mrs. Doubtfire?
A new Tumblr is dedicated to pictures of the songstress’ face photoshopped on Robin Williams’ costumed body—and vice versa. The site treats us with lovely portraits of Adele offering milk and cookies, while Robin Williams is seen holding a bunch of Grammy’s.
As much as I love Adele’s glamourous persona, I would love to see her take a stab at being Mrs. Doubtfire. Perhaps, a new alter ego for the stage?
Here are my personal favourites:
The Internet was fraught with overreactions, memes and tweets about the announcement that Disney is buying Lucasfilm Ltd. for $4.05 billion. They’re also making a seventh movie in the Star Wars series called “Episode 7,” set for release in 2015, with Episodes 8 and 9 following. There’s just sooo much to think about. Not just unending questions about whether the seventh episode will be just as terrible as the last three released, but will there be a theme park? Is Leia now a Disney princess? Will Joss Whedon sprout angel wings and become the new director?
The Internet wants answers now people.
Best reactions from the Internet:
Twitter reacts
The newest Disney princess? Read more…
Let the memes begin. Hurricane Sandy is already creating a “viral” stir that is taking over news feeds everywhere. It is a very serious storm that could cause upwards of 10 billion dollars in damage but that’s already being overshadowed by funny GIFs and parody twitter accounts. As we all know the Internet can be a dangerous place to find information. There’s countless satirists and trolls preying on the naive souls who will believe anything they read online. Luckily, if you’re aware that 90 percent of trending topics are bullish*t, then you’ll find them much more entertaining. Thus, we’ve handpicked some of the most ridiculous and not-so-important content appearing about Hurricane Sandy.
New Twitter feed you should follow
There are so many reasons to not work today — just choose one
Hurricane hangover cure
Hurricane Horseman made or day
Cats react to the hurricane
Beer is flying off the shelves Read more…
