PRETTY LITTLE LIARS IS BACK! PRETTY LITTLE LIARS IS BACK! PRETTY LITTLE LIARS IS BACK! And I could not be any happier! Finally all my sought out questions will be answered. All my waiting will be rewarded. Or so I thought.
As I put on my ‘I love Mr. Fitz’ crop top and awaited the return of my favorite show; I couldn’t help but feel that by the end of the episode I was left with more questions then answers.
Here are five things I learned on last night’s premiere, “I Play With Body Parts.”
1) ‘A’ is back: Game on bitches, just when you thought the girls were safe, the A Team strikes again. First, ‘A’ tries to frame the girls by making it look like they were the ones who stole Allison’s body. Then ‘A’ traps Aria in one of her school’s bathroom stalls just so he/she/they can torture her. Looks like Mona isn’t the only mastermind behind Allison’s death. This just leaves me with one question: who can A be? I hope I don’t have to wait until this season finale to find out because I just might feel ripped off.
2) Emily helped dig up Allison’s body: Read more…
By Melissa Novacaska
Tension flares in the first episode of last night’s two hour Glee, as Nationals and graduation quickly approach. Tina feels stuck in the shadows behind Rachel’s success, Puck realizes his future is at a standstill and Beiste has the courage to leave her abusive husband for good. But of course, Rachel’s attempt to gain a second audition with Mme. Tibideaux for NYADA is still in effect. Are fourteen phone messages and a muffin basket a little too persistant?
Anxious is the best word to describe the second hour, which was directly focused on the glee club’s trip to Chicago for Nationals and the return of Lindsay Lohan.(At least she performed slightly better than her latest stint on SNL.)
Without further ado, here’s what I learned from last night’s back-to-back episodes, “Props” and “Nationals.”
1) Tina’s jealousy over Rachel’s success and glory has reached its final peak. After being shut down for a solo during this year’s Nationals, Tina backlashes and shares her frustration with her fellow gleeks. Being in charge of the club’s costume design doesn’t seem to have any perks. In a “Freaky Friday” twist, the goth morphs into a retro version of Rachel and vice versa, after falling into a fountain. The rest of the gleeks have swapped bodies too, with Finn being Kurt, Puck as Blaine and Sue even switching bodies with Mr. Schuester (definitely didn’t need to see him in a red tracksuit.) In her new body, Tina err Rachel was able to shine on her own, singing Céline Dion’s Because You Loved Me (she’s got the pipes,) and she also realized how she could help the real Rachel get into NYADA. Oh and both girls got to sing a duet of What a Feeling, as Tina hoped! Read more…
By Jasmine Williams
Jess is the new Monica Lewinsky, and Cece and Schmidt are talking about the “C” word, that’s right guys, ‘commitment.’ Also, Winston’s rocking a really weird earring and the obligatory jokes are pretty much the comedic highlight of the show.
Here’s what I learned on this week’s New Girl, “Backslide.”
1) Jess is in a funk after breaking up with Russell. It’s a lot of the same sad Joni Mitchell song, lying on a carpet and roommates trying (and failing) at cheering her up. Luckily, it works just enough to get her out of her room so we don’t have to be subjected to the sight of seeing Caroline booty pop any longer.
2) Backsliding. It’s a condition that occurs post break-up, when you go crawling back to your ex and make everything messier than it was before. You want to avoid this by any means necessary. Playing keep-away with someone’s phone may be one of these means. Thank you Schmidt for improving my vocabulary, one made-up word at a time. Read more…
By Melissa Novacaska
Between Rachel and Kurt’s NYADA audition, the truth behind Beiste’s shiner and Puck’s love/hate relationship with his future (that’s gone on for too long), this week’s episode was a whirlwind of emotions. It’s about time more “real” drama unfolded at McKinley High and sh**t finally got resolved — or did it? Oh and did I mention Whoopi Goldberg made an appearance and NeNe Leakes from The Real Housewives of Atlanta returned. You’ve got to appreciate someone who can challenge Sue with insults.
Here’s what I gasped about from last night’s episode, “Choke.” Oh, and please keep your tears for the end.
1) Nobody really knows what goes on behind closed doors. After Coach Beiste is spotted with a black eye and Santana suggests she was beaten by her husband, Coach Roz (Leakes) along with Sue, take matters into their own hands. They make the female Gleeks sing a song about female empowerment as an apology to Beiste.
Their first attempt with Chicago’s “Cell Block Tango” was not a hit, but Florence + The Machine’s “Shake It Out” was a win. It was shocking to hear Beiste speak the truth and admit how she didn’t get punched working out, but indeed by her husband. What made me even more emotional was how she really never left him, since she feels he’s the only man who’ll ever “love” her. I’m sure there’s someone out there for this physically and mentally strong meaningful woman.
2) Rachel choked! She actually messed up her audition for NYADA. She’s been ready her whole life (or so we thought) and if “Don’t Rain on My Parade” is “her” song, how could she have screwed up? Was it the stress, nerves or was she so focused on preparing Kurt for his audition (I think she tried psyching him out), she had little time to prepare? If she’s been ready for this chance for years, it should have been a piece of cake. Maybe it was the fear of being judged by the stern NYADA dean, Carmen Tibideaux (Goldberg) that set her up for disaster. I really do feel for Rachel, I mean this audition would have pretty much set her future in high gear, and now it will be hard to see what’ll happen next. Maybe she’ll get another chance… third time’s the charm isn’t it? Plus she tends to have a horseshoe up her butt so I’m sure it’ll be okay. Read more…
By Jasmine Williams
Anyone else think the Russian roommate Nadia stole the show tonight? I died during her date with Schmidt — the deadpan way she pronounced ‘Mickey Mouse’ was priceless! Also, Cece finally tells Schmidt she like likes him. Yay! Can they just get married have little caramel babies already?
Here’s what I learned on this week’s episode of New Girl “Tomatoes.”
1) I think Nick is really starting to go off the deep end. He’s giving up on life, swearing off women and worst of all, starting to plant tomatoes. But I don’t think watering plants with your backwash is how it goes. Spoiler alert: the rooftop farming project goes bust. He hits his lowest point when he rebounds with his terrible ex Caroline, but knowing Nick, this bottom has a trap door.
2) Cece decided to cool things off with Schmidt after their almost-pregnancy. He then spitefully decides to go out with her Russian model roommate, Nadia. Sounds like the old make-her-jealous-so-she’ll-want-you-back trick. We all know that Cece likes him; we just have to wait and see if she’ll finally admit it.
3) Jess invites Russell’s ex-wife to dinner and can’t help but notice the sexual tension between the two of them. And judging by her discomfort, it seems that there’s not enough of that passion in her own relationship. In a classic Jess move, she tries to pick a fight with Russell to ramp up the heat by throwing coasters at his head. Needless to say, this doesn’t end well and the two decide to break up. Read more…
By Melissa Novacaska
In one of her odd, yet deep pieces of advice (and there have been quite a few), Ms. Pillsbury compares the loss of an icon coinciding with the ending of high school, to the disappearance of one’s childhood. This prompts Mr. Schuester’s Glee club to do a tribute to the late Whitney Houston and to connect her songs to their final days at McKinley High. It was a nice gesture, but I felt the diva’s songs really only reflected the club’s sex life, unless I interpreted it wrong!
We finally heard more about the Schuester/Pillsbury’s wedding (geez I feel like they’ve been engaged for ages), while Kurt and Blaine’s relationship is put to the test, when a fellow NYC wannabe who happens to be an overly rambunctious and a cheesy texter enters Kurt’s life. I was surprised the heat between Rachel and Santana simmered down, but the temperature keeps rising for Quinn and the dreads boy… sorry Jesus. Is there a time when this girl isn’t causing orgasms?
If you’re asking “How Will I Know” the five things Melissa learned on last night’s episode “Dance With Somebody,” take a look below.
1) Mr. Schuester is so eager to move up the date of his wedding to Ms. Pillsbury, he hires the one and only wedding planner available, Mr. Lavender. But his actions backfire and Schuester resorts to a campground venue instead, before coming to his senses and realizing the Glee kids will make time for the wedding, no matter when it is. Geez Will, have you forgotten how OCD your fiancé is to dirt… I don’t think a campground will make it any better.
2) The chemistry between Quinn and Joe a.k.a “Mr. Chastity” increases with each round of physiotherapy. Is stretching a person’s leg the newest way to get turned on? Not sure if they want to become a couple yet, but one thing is definite… they’d both rather not lose the one thing they care about most — their virginity. But how many times must Quinn be reminded she’s already lost that package a while ago! Read more…
By Melissa Novacaska
Get out your polyester suits (gag) and dancing shoes, because last night’s episode of Glee was a throwback to the 70s. In an attempt to stick with
an outdated a “vintage” theme for Nationals, the Glee club experimented with music from the film Saturday Night Fever. My initial reaction resembled to three-quarters of the club… disco is DEAD, but it actually left me wanting to get up and dance!
After a fixed dance off, Finn, Mercedes and Santana were declared the winners and given the opportunity to compete in a sing-off to win a John Travolta inspired suit. However, it was actually more of an opportunity for Mr. Schuester and Sue to give these three talented students an opportunity to share their life ambitions. Let’s be honest, haven’t we all been wondering what their future holds — or at least Santana’s? The Glee Project’s Alex Newell, finally made his debut as Wade Adams, the Vocal Adrenaline diva with an alter ego name Unique. Who knew Mercedes had a twin?
After coming down with my own “Tuesday Night Fever,” here’s what I learned from last night’s episode “Saturday Night Glee-ver.” Hah, see what I did there?
1) Mercedes’ dream is to become the next Mariah, Whitney or Aretha, but she doesn’t know anything about transitioning to L.A. With Sam’s quick instincts and tender love, he records her sizzling rendition of “Burn Baby Burn,” posts it on YouTube and proves to her that she’s not skim milk, but the cream of the top. How cute, but it’s not like we did not know that already! Duh.
2) While Sam used YouTube for the power of good, Brittany’s intentions were a little muddled. If a sex tape won’t make you famous then I don’t know what will. After Santana states her main goal in life is to become famous one way or another (well that’s not a surprise), Brittany posts a “sex tape” of the two lovebirds. I know the poor girl means well, and Santana DID get attention, but I don’t think that’s the type of fame she wants… not that she specified any!
3) Well, well Finn finally made his decision about his future and (drumroll) he’s staying in Lima! Jk, jk! After a long battle with Schuester about wanting to always feel “young and free,” the teacher forced him to watch “Saturday Night Fever.” Finn realizes his true passion really does exist in NYC with Rachel, as an actor. Not afraid to admit the truth anymore, he applies to the Actor’s Studio Drama School run by James Lipton. I’m actually happy for these two; it makes me want to find someone as risk taking and considerate as Finn! Read more…
By Jasmine Williams
Cece has a pregnancy scare which has Schmidt dreaming of little Mordecais in his head. While it turns out that she wasn’t actually pregnant, it makes me wonder what’s next for these two. Will Cece ever admit that she actually has feelings for Schmidt? And now that there’s no baby-on-board, was Schmidt’s almost-proposal just an impulse, or are there wedding bells in their future?
Here’s what I learned from last night’s New Girl, “Kids.”
1) Cece appropriately freaks out over the possibility that she might be carrying the spawn of Schmidt. While she may be harbouring secret feelings for our resident douchebag, she’s certainly not ready to be a mother.
2) Jess agrees to babysit Russell’s daughter Sara for the day and although she’s a teacher, she’s not so used to dealing with kids in this way. She tries to turn the day into an opportunity to teach her all about Italy, but preteen Sara is more interested in Jess’ bras and what she has and hasn’t done with her father. Oh and what she’s done with Nick, who the kid develops a massive crush on in a matter of minutes. Read more…
By Jasmine Williams
Cece and Schmidt are officially on the house’s radar, but I can’t help but miss the secrecy surrounding their relationship and the thrill of the two of them almost getting caught. Now, hearing the two openly talk about their sexual adventures and seeing them walking around in bed sheets and towels is getting a little TMI, in my opinion.
Also, when is Nick going to get a major storyline? After his break-up with lawyer Julia, he’s been like a lost puppy and his man crush on Russell is getting creepy. Dude needs a hobby or something.
Anyways, here’s what I learned on last night’s New Girl, “Normal.”
1) Jess hasn’t gone home in a week now that she’s spending all her time with her older man Russell. Go Jess! Only she can bring a guy to his knees by seductively announcing she’s wearing his boxer briefs under her dress. But wait, doesn’t she have a job? She seems to have a lot of free time for a school teacher.
2) Jess realizes after her luxurious mini-vacay with Russell in his fancy rich world that he’s never stayed over at her rundown apartment, with her three, quirky-is-an-understatement male roommates. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing? She invites him over anyway and warns the guys to be on their best behaviour, but of course, it turns into a disaster. Read more…
By Jasmine Williams
Here’s how the secret spills: Winston blabbers to Nick, then Nick’s back starts sweating, then Jess forces the weakling to tell her the secret. Now everybody knows that Cece and Schmidt are hooking up! I’ve been waiting so long for this reveal and it didn’t disappoint. The best part was seeing Schmidt righteously grinning the entire time now that he can admit he’s getting the most action in the apartment. Win for Schmidt!
Anyway, here are five things I learned on last night’s episode of New Girl, “Secrets.”
1) Jess isn’t a fan of secrets. Understandably, she’s unimpressed that her BFF hid a secret for two months and she’s the last to know. In true awkward fashion, she literally runs away from Cece when she sees her and hides in a truck.
2) Serial monogamist Nick has been having one-night-stands with barely-legals. Sounds like a decent (albeit sleazy) situation, but he’s having trouble giving them the morning brush-off since he’s a bad liar and can’t keep a secret to save his life. He hits a new low when he asks Schmidt, now the master douchebag, for some lady help. Can’t lie, the role-play scenes between these two were quite convincing.
3) Jess wants to forbid all past and future secrets. But when she tries to open a dialogue with the guys, she ends up finding out that everyone in the house has “self-completed” while thinking of her. Yup, that’s going to make sharing a bathroom a little awkward.
Watch it here:
4) Winston taps into his inner gospel preacher and becomes the melodic voice of reason of Apartment 4D. He stops two of Nick’s hook-ups from killing each other over a left-behind circle scarf and prevents Jess from doing pretty much the same with Cece. Meanwhile, Schmidt’s still smiling like he can’t believe his luck. Neither can we, dude.
5) CeCe likes Schmidt! CeCe likes Schmidt! And nobody knows except for Jess. How the tables have turned!
By Jasmine Williams
While Jess and her new older man-friend Russell are the intended focus of this episode, I can’t help but pity Nick. He’s so broke that he weighs more than his credit score, can’t afford a phone and wears said older man-friend’s sweater to be a little more like him. The whole thing comes across as
playfully self-depreciating embarrassingly delusional.
Anyway, here are five things I learned from last night’s episode of New Girl, Fancyman, Part 1:
1) Nick has a really low credit score — like 250 low — which means he must become “the guy without a phone” as an attempt to make his poverty seem less like, well poverty, and more like a lifestyle choice. Also, apparently it’s okay for sales associates to openly mock and laugh at customers with ridiculously low scores, ie Nick. That’s cold, real cold.
2) Jess has to suck up to a student’s father (Russell) because the principal doesn’t want to lose the guy’s yearly donation. Jess is all ready to chew him out and “stick it to the man” but then he helps her out when her car stalls by — wait for it — lending her his car! So much for “fight the power,” right?
Jess plans to stick it to the man:
3) Schmidt is a trivia god. In proper Shmidty form, he’s not humble about his brilliance and will probably have to invest a serious amount of cash in the douchebag jar. He also knows how to completely ruin a make-out session with his big mouth. Yes Schmidt, you were talking too much while Winston kissed his new girlfriend.
4) Winston is still a part-time nanny (remember that?) and he’s so peeved about Schmidt’s trivia prowess, that he gets the young boy he’s looking after to tutor him. Somehow his foolproof plan of memorizing random trivia questions about key subjects like “Mesopotamia” didn’t work out and Schmidt still kicks his butt.
5) Russell is nice to Nick (the poor bartender) because he knows what it’s like to be young and broke but mostly because he’s Jess’ friend. I guess he really likes her but it’s a little suspicious that he’s compelled to give away an expensive iPhone to get a girl. Anyway, Jess and Russell have plans for a date and I can’t help but wonder whether their clashing values are going to work out.
By Jasmine Williams
Last night’s episode was just another example of how New Girl is slowly becoming the “Schmidt Show,” with him being the focus of not just one but two plot lines. Not that I mind, he’s clearly the most hilarious and well-developed character on the show and we even got a fat Schmidty flashback last night which is always fun (minus the vomit).
But the main plot lines are starting to drag and the subplots are becoming a little cliché and forced. Schmidt changes, and then everyone realizes he was better before? Sounds more like a Disney Channel original movie than a network TV show. And it needed more SchmeCe! Cemidt? I’ll work on it.
Anyway, here are five things I learned on last night’s episode “Control.”
1) Schmidt is growing increasingly neurotic about his secret sexy-time situation with CeCe. And who wouldn’t when a midnight rendezvous requires an encounter with the “new homeless” and soiling a pair of suede loafers?
2) Nick’s financial situation is getting dicey. After losing a poker game, a hungover Nick wakes up with curious cannon shapes on his back (note: definitely not cannons, Jess) and a $487 debt to Winston. But Nick is broke and neither is letting it go, reminding each other of all their previous debts and favours.
3) Jess probably shouldn’t have challenged Schmidt’s neat-freak ways by turning the apartment into an episode of “Storage Wars” and taking him to the beach. A hutch is broken and Tahitian vanilla is placed next to the garden variety. Needless to say it gets ugly.
4) There is a very delicate balance of control in the apartment. Schmidt learns to relax but Nick and Winston descend into chaos, getting into a fistfight in a grocery checkout line. Also, Schmidt joins a drum circle and eats street meat. The apocalypse is nigh.
5) Looks like CeCe is possibly falling for Schmidt when she sneaks into the apartment for some late-night nookie. But does she really want him, or just his itty-bitty-Schmidty? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.