In the world of celebrity news, there’s no shortage of hits and misses. This week, Jimmy Fallon makes us laugh, Shia LaBeof shows us his abs, and Kris Jenner makes a sex tape.
HIT: Fallon, Timberlake and Carell make us laugh
When these three get together, it’s nothing but laughs. Carell and Timberlake pose as salesmen with fake arms and who’ve names their suits after former ‘N Syanc members Lance Bass and Joey Fatone. Justin also makes some refernces to his song Suit & Tie . Brilliant.
MISS: Kris Jenner Sex Tape
Okay ew, eww, ewww! Like mother, like daughter. Kim isn’t the only one who’s showing off her assets on-screen. According to Enquirer‘s source, ”Kris was talking about how liberating it was to be filmed having sex and how it was a turn-on to watch herself with her lover.” Kris you better go back and burn that tape. Ain’t nobody wanna see that!
HIT: Shia LaBeouf’s hot abs
In an interview with ABC’s Good Morning America Thursday, Tiger Woods said that he’s working at getting his life back on track, especially when it comes to his kids.
“It’s work, there’s no doubt,” said the golfer, who admitted last year to having multiple affairs while married to wife, Elin Nordegren.
“It’s tough. But it’s enjoyable.” On being a single father, he added, “that’s the work I love.”
Yes, this is the part where everyone rolls their eyes in an obvious ‘duh’ fashion. I don’t think there is a parent out there that would sympathize with the ‘toughness’ of Woods’ single fatherhood. He even went on with the clichéd “family’s first” bit. Oh, so it was his family he was thinking of when he was with at least 9 women who weren’t his wife?
The interview on GMA, along with an appearance Wednesday night on NBC’s Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, was the first for Woods since late November 2009, when a strange car accident and rumours of Nordegren chasing Woods’ with one of his many golf clubs, triggered a chain of events that unveiled his shady private life, and ultimately – ended in divorce.
Since then Woods has been trying to focus on his two children, daughter Sam and son Charlie, who no doubt, is already following in the footsteps (the good ones) of his dad.
“Give him a stick and ball and he’s happy,” said Woods. He even went as far as to proudly call him a “little brute.”
Now as far as Google tells me, ‘brute’ means ‘animal’ or ‘beast’. I’m not sure why a father would see it fit to describe his 2-year-old son with such an adjective, but I certainly hope little Charlie will be able to control his animalistic urges when he grows up.
At least, a bit better than his father did.
The UK’s Sun is reporting Tiger Woods’ ex-wife Elin Nordegren is on the dating scene again, and maybe hooking up with a 35 year old South African man she met while studying at Rollins College in Winter Park, Fla.
“Elin is a home type gal and loves being with her children, so she may be more eager to remarry than she should be at this point,” a close friend of Elin’s tells PopEater, adding that she is eager to have more children.
There has yet been confirmations on how things are going in Tiger’s love life. Right now he seems focused on getting his golf game back on track, and setting up his new home in Jupiter Island, Florida.
That’s right folks. Tiger Woods, now the world’s second best golfer (how ya doin’ Lee Westwood?), has finally signed up for a Twitter account.
At this point in time Tiger just sent out his second tweet which reads “Yep. It’s me. I think I like this twitter thing. You guys are awesome. Thanks for all the love.”
It’s unclear whether the “you guys” Tiger mentions refers to his fans, the people at Twitter, or the VIP room at Tao in Las Vegas, but I suppose it doesn’t matter when you’re pounding out thought-provoking updates like these.
All jokes aside though there are two ways to look at this. Either the new Tiger Woods is more concerned with his public image and has decided to become a more approachable figure for his fans, and therefore signing up for a twitter and Facebook account. Or, more likely, he knows where there’s tweets, there’s chicks. Ok, so not all jokes aside.
Radar Online is reporting that Tiger Woods has paid his ex-wife Elin Nordegren approximately $110 million in divorce payouts.
The ever-classy Nordegren has refused to flaunt her settlement money. Though she’s quite clearly rolling in it, Elin’s only major shopping trip of recent history seems to be a quick house-hunting jaunt in Florida to be close to Tiger and to ease the joint custody of their children.
“Tiger was worried Elin was going to move back to Sweden and take their children,” an unnamed source said.”That was a bigger hang up than money. Making sure he had access to Sam and Alexis was crucial for Tiger.”
And that might not be the end of Elin’s payout! Because Tiger is worth roughly $500 million in total, She could be entitled to another $100 million in cash and assets.
After banging half of the world’s trashy hooker population, we think Woods got what was coming to him.
As RadarOnline reports, porn star Devon James is claiming that she’s got a sex tape with Tiger Woods, and has started taking pre-orders for the 37-minute long video. James is one of the many mistresses of Tiger, so the tape is a possibility, though not confirmed.
However, despite there being no proof of the tape’s existence—James is still pushing it for $39.95 and has given it the glamorous title of Tiger Woods & Devon James Sex Tape.
A website has been set up to sell the alleged tape and James promises an 8×10 autographed photo of her as an added bonus.
James’ former manager, Gina Rodriguez spoke to RadarOnline, and said that “It can’t be [authentic,] because the tape does not exist,” continuing, “This is definitely a scam and I would advise anyone thinking of buying it to not send sending in your money for pre-order, because the tape does not exist and if they have a tape, it’s not Tiger.”
Even though Rodriguez is sceptical, James’ husband Nick tells RadarOnline that it was filmed in Tampa in 2008, and “You can see [Tiger] clearly,” adding, “He’s pretty dirty.”
Earl Jr., the oldest half-brother of the golf champ, says that his father would not approve of his son’s behavior. “I think my dad would be very disappointed with him,” says Earl Jr. in an interview with KSAZ Fox 10 in Phoenix. “He would probably want to know how he’s going to fix it. You’re grown enough to get into this mess; how are you going to repair it?”
Earl continued by saying his father loved Tiger’s former wife, Elin Nordegren. She was family,” says Earl Jr. “My dad and her really connected.”
Earl Jr. says Tiger has paid dearly for his misdeeds. “It cost him a family,” he says. “He’ll never have the same relationship with his kids. There’s always a possibility that [Elin] will go back to Sweden. That distance with the kids will tear him up.”
Even through all the controversy, Rachel Uchitel is still in love with Tiger Woods and wants him back, reports TMZ.
A friend told TMZ that Rachel would “give up everything” to get him. But seriously, does she really have that much to give? The girl is kind of a train wreck.
The friend says Rachel told them “I feel horrible for him. He loved her. But he was in love with me. I hope he remembers that was real, and reaches out to me.”
This turned out to be a very expensive and sad day for Tiger Woods. The divorce between Tiger and wife Elin Nordegren became official TMZ reports.
Tiger and Elin were both present in the Panama City, Florida court room today to execute the agreement. As part of the divorce, Tiger has agreed to pay Elin $100 Million.
Elin’s lawyers released the following statement on behalf of the couple: “We are sad that our marriage is over and we wish each other the very best for the future.”
The statement continues, “While we are no longer married, we are the parents of two wonderful children and their happiness has been, and will always be, of paramount importance to both of us.”
“Once we came to the decision that our marriage was at an end, the primary focus of our amicable discussions has been to ensure their future well-being. The weeks and months ahead will not be easy for them as we adjust to a new family situation, which is why our privacy must be a principal concern.”
The infamous Rachel Uchitel, of Tiger Woods’ sex scandal fame, was recently turned down, reports RadarOnline. With her not-so-great track record with relationships, it should come as no surprise that Jake Pavelka (The Bachelor) didn’t fall prey to her advances.
A source said that Uchitel attempted to court Pavelka via email, sending one of his close friends a message asking to be hooked up with the now-single guy. The source told RadarOnline, “Jake thinks she’s probably a ‘nice girl’ but isn’t looking to date anytime soon.” We’re hesitant to call her a “nice girl,” but good on Pavelka for the manners.
This is just speculation, but Uchitel might need to wait until Pavelka actually gets married for her powers of seduction to work.
Sources close to the production tell TMZ that Uchitel’s breaking point occurred during a one on one therapy session where they discussed her father’s death. Uchitel’s father died in his 40′s due to a cocaine overdose. Rachel was 15 at the time.
Rachel left for the night but returned the following day after being encouraged by her fellow cast mates.
See, Rachel is not a completely emotionless bitch!
The title pretty much says it all. Sources tell TMZ that Donald Trump personally called one of Tiger Woods’ old lady friends, Rachel Uchitel, and offered her a spot on the upcoming season of The Celebrity Apprentice.
It likely wouldn’t be too difficult for Uchitel to win the competition, should she accept the offer. She’s got experience with winning large sums of money, namely the $10 million settlement she got from Tiger Woods.
Uchitel took a call from TMZ and let them know that she is “absolutely” going to take the offer. So, you should see her on the show as long as NBC decides she’s a good fit.
The only question is should the wives of the other celebrities on the show be worried?
TMZ reports that although the divorce is not settled, Elin will have a lot of flexibility in where she decides to settle with the kids.
Additionally, rumors have it that as part of the settlement, Elin will get around $100 Million.
TMZ has found out that part of the divorce agreement legally prohibits Elin from talking about her marriage and divorce from Tiger. That means she is unable to write a book or unable to do the talk show circuit.
However, Tiger is giving Elin a very big pay day. TMZ has learned Elin will receive $100 million in a settlement, which is much more than she was entitled to under the prenup.
A source tells TMZ that a paternity test was performed in 2002 proving that Tiger is not the father. Additionally there is reasonably certainty the father is another gentleman living in Florida.
The boy’s pics were posted on Kikster.com and there is certainly some resemblance to Tiger.
Tiger Woods’ mistress Rachel Uchitel will be stripping for Playboy, reports TMZ.
The celebrity host finally moved into mistress royalty by getting an offer to strip for the porno mag. However there is a catch.
A source tells TMZ that Uchitel still has the right to pull out of the deal before the shoot, which is in three weeks.
Also don’t get too excited as the photos will be limited to her backside and the topside.
Rachel Uchitel appeared on TMZ Live Friday saying that Joslyn James is using her scandal with Tiger Woods to become a celebrity – duh!
As this apparently wasn’t obvious to some, Uchitel explained to the TMZ crew that all of Tiger’s mistresses are using their Tiger exploits as a launching pad.
Joslyn James fought back, emailing her response to TMZ after seeing Uchitel’s comments.
“I find it extremely funny that she is choosing to bash me in saying I am now making a career for myself from Tiger.” Joslyn goes on, “Oh yeah, that’s right. She got PAID from Tiger to keep her mouth shut …”
Joslyn continues, “I find it funny that she says she was ‘well known’ before the Tiger news. I never heard of her before that.”
And to sum it up she finishes by saying, “I was an actress prior and a dancer, I gave it up because I was fooled in a relationship with Tiger, I merely went back to what I was doing.”
We can’t wait for Fox to bring back “Celebrity Boxing” and have the main event be Rachel Uchitel versus Joslyn James. And to top it off, Tiger would be the ref. We would wager the fight would get ratings similar to the super bowl.
Radar Online has obtained Blackberry Messages between Boreanaz and Uchitel, which show an intense love affair. Below is correspondence between the couple about Boreanaz leaving his wife:
Uchitel: “Just (bleeping) go and be with her.”
Boreanaz: “Why do u act like such a (bleeping) child!!! She is my wife.”
Uchitel: “Oh, please!! … You’re such a liar. You’re never leaving. You’ve wasted my time and I’m once again alone.” She adds: “I can’t (bleeping) be alone anymore. I’ve been alone my entire life.”
Boreanaz: “What the HELL are you talking about. We spend more than enough time together.”
So what does this all mean? Tiger Woods had sloppy seconds from David Boreanaz. Good for Boreanaz.
TMZ says the major issues yet to be resolved are child custody and the division of assets. Both parties have been advised to keep their final deal confidential and keep the property settlements out of the court file.
Both Tiger and Elin have their own team of high priced lawyers working on their behalf. An immediate matter they are trying to address is jurisdiction. Although the couple lived in Florida, Elin will be moving back to Sweden. Consequently it maybe easier to move forward with the proceedings in Sweden.
TMZ reports that James was booked to stay at the Charlotte Ritz Carlton over the weekend, only to have her reservation cancelled by the hotel at the last minute. Why? It is believed Tiger Woods was staying at the same hotel.
Josyln was appearing at a local strip club thr0ughout the weekend and though the Ritz would be a great place to stay. Coincidentally Tiger was booked at the same hotel and The Ritz thought there could be issues with both parties at the same hotel.
In a letter to The Ritz written by Joslyn’s lawyer Gloria Allred explains, “…we are appalled to think that you might have chosen to accommodate a rich, famous golfer who has admitted lying to his wife … over a woman whose heart he has broken …”
We are sure you agree that Josyln is innocent and mistreated. Your heart must be made of stone not to feel sympathy for a tabloid whore.