I’m writing this with great hesitation and mild disgust. A couple days ago my sister was telling me about some made for TV documentary about how the “new thing” college students are doing is BUTT CHUGGING.
According to Urban Dictionary, butt chugging is the act of ingesting alcohol through one’s rectum to increase the alcohol’s effect and the speed with which one becomes intoxicated. Used in a sentence: “Hello Jonathan! Would you care to attend my party? We will be Butt Chugging!”
I know. WTF. While I’m pretty much writing this entire post with as much withdrawal as possible, I figure it’s part of my job to bring you what’s happening on campus.
Here are five things you need to know:
1. The so-called “vessel” for butt chugging is either a funnel or a soaked tampon. The latter of those two things is called “slimming.”
2. Alcohol is absorbed through your bloodstream faster through your rectum than through your mouth. Aka, it’s not just for show! There’s apparently a point to it…
3. One benefit: you won’t get the smell of alcohol on your breath. Though personally I merely wonder: “have you heard of gum?”
4. It’s not a new term. Look: Read more…
The Doctors highlight another important medical issue this week called cuddle parties. The parties are are essentially swingers parties but instead of black patent leather the participants where flannel onesies and keep them on for the entire night.
The non-sexual, touch-oriented workshop involves a 45-minute introductory warm up so participants can express their loveless marriages and release long held insecurities. Oh, no actually the warm up, which involves them sitting in a circle and kissing or rejecting their partner, helps them develop their boundaries before the popular conga cuddle.
Next, the Bachelor’s Ben engages in the most awkward conversation with his picnic buddy Courtney. He teaches her a non-game, “Hey Cow,” which I’m convinced he made up on the spot. The game involves them yelling “Hey Cow” until a cow looks over and… well… that’s it.