A few years ago my family and I occasionally fed this cute little squirrel we named Clark that kept visiting our backyard. That is, until the SQUIRREL ATTACK. Okay, well it wasn’t all that dramatic, he just tried to break into the house one day when the door was open and was looking a little more rabid than usual. Luckily, I was wearing protective Ugg boots and was able to fend him off.

That’s why I sympathize with this innocent bystander who was attacked by a psycho squirrel. To be fair, everybody knows you NEVER put your hand out to a wild animal to pet it like it’s a soft teddy bear. In that way, the dude kind of deserves it — especially because he keeps petting the squirrel after getting bit.

The message: don’t befriend wild squirrels.