Whether you’re headed for the sun or for the internet this spring break, you HAVE to see these amazing water jet packs in action. They’re made by Rocky Mountain Flyboard in Utah and can be yours for the low price of – wait, nevermind. Maybe they’ll be cheap by the time your kids hit the beach?
By Galen Simmons
The way I look at it, the very idea that you might want to bring all your friends together, give them free-license to get smashed off their face, and have it all take place in your very own fortress of solitude seems like a recipe for disaster.
I mean theoretically speaking, there are far too many wildcards in play when you decide to host a party. Someone might throw up. Everyone might throw up. The cops might fine you for a noise complaint. The cops might throw you in jail. In saying that however, I acknowledge that if nobody wanted to host a party, parties as we know them might die. And that’s too traumatic to even think about. So, to all those heroes who decide to put their home at stake for the greater good (my entertainment), I figured the least I could do is offer up a few common-sense tips which might prevent your house from becoming a smoldering pile of rubble.
1. If serving food, avoid your heavier meats and cheeses. Try to stick to starches like chips and pretzels. If you’re ever in doubt, abide by this simple rule. If it looks nasty going down, it’ll look 10 times nastier coming up.
2.Garbage bags make excellent wallpaper. Your landlord would approve.
3. A bedroom door with a lock on it allows for the temporary stashing of all things valuable. Heed my warning, for if you don’t, next time you’ll have nothing valuable to stash. Read more…
By Jasmine Williams
It looks like the honeymoon is over for Snooki and JWoww. After returning from a less-than-stellar vacation in Cancun, reality hits the girls hard. Snooki’s wondering whether she should live with JWoww; JWoww’s wondering if she should stay with Roger; Jionni’s wondering if Snooki will make a good mother; I’m wondering if I can rock their red hair extensions. My life needs more drama in it. Obviously.
Here’s what I learned on this week’s “Snooki and JWoww.”
1. Snooki is being a great friend to JWoww, even though JWoww wasn’t really there for her. Snooki going to Spring Break, which everybody knows is a tequila-soaked hot mess, while pregnant and therefore sober, was a bad idea. Let’s just establish that fact now. But, JWoww could have made it easier by not partying and drinking every night because that’s what good friends are for. Snooki was definitely the better BFF in this episode, consoling JWoww while her boyfriend was being a real buttface to her. And speaking of Roger…
2. He definitely crossed a line. It seems that JWoww, despite being a total fox, is really insecure. Every time Roger breaks plans with her, she freaks out and starts screaming and crying. I’m sorry, but no guy wants to hang out with that girl. But, Roger isn’t helping the situation by comparing their relationship to Snooki and Jionni’s and saying that she deserves to be with her ex. That was a low blow. JWoww might have some issues, but Roger’s making it worse by being so mean to her. This relationship needs to end and soon.
3. Snooki and JWoww are incapable of being mature, anywhere. After all of the drama, the girls let off some steam at JWoww’s cooking class. Instead of being mature adults, they giggle because the pasta they roll looks like an uncircumcised penis. And then they hit each other with it. Does anybody else feel bad for the other people in the class?
It’s March Break!! And suitably, Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens just happen to be filming their upcoming movie Spring Breakers.
The movie follows four college girls who land in jail after robbing a fast food restaurant to fund their spring break vacation. They’re bailed out by a drug and arms dealer who naturally wants them to do some dirty work in exchange.
The ladies were seen in Florida today in their teeny bikinis riding around on Buddy scooters. What’s work for them is a dream day for me everyone. The movie doesn’t have a release date yet but filming wraps up this month.
How are you spending March Break?
