By Jasmine Williams
Last week’s episode ended on the explosive note of Roger accusing JWoww of lying to her. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? I have no clue but tears are falling, mascara’s running and drag queens were involved.
Here’s what I learned on this week’s “Snooki and JWoww”:
1. Jionni and Roger get a surprise: After Roger and Jwoww’s fight, things are more than a little awkward in the bachelorette pad. Luckily, Snooki’s plan to take the boys to a drag bar was just the pick-me-up everyone needed. Nothing like watching your boyfriend get practically molested by drag queens to bring a smile to a guidette’s face.
2. Snooki and Jionni celebrate with the in-laws, and it’s surprisingly normal: As a watcher of Snooki’s antics on Jersey Shore, I’ve come to expect that any sort of occasion involving Snooki will result in her ending up on the floor, or crying or all of the above. But she definitely toned it down for her engagement party, which was a lovely, low-key affair with family and friends. Almost boring by television standards. Where’s a good fist pump when you need it?
3. Roger needs to find someone new to pick on: It seems that Roger and Jionni’s relationship consists of Roger shamelessly picking on him and Jionni graciously laughing along with him, even encouraging him on this episode, when he brings out his baby pictures for all to see. But now we see why Jionni’s so nice. Because he knows he’s in a better place right now. He’s got the fiancé and a baby on the way and what does Roger have? A crumbling relationship with no sex. Game, set and match to Jionni.
Next week the ladies are heading to Cancun and I can’t wait! See you then!
By Jasmine Williams
This week, Snooki and JWoww shocked a coffee shop with tales of their sexual escapades, JWoww learned to cook, and Snooki acted really sensitive to pretty much everything that came out of JWoww’s mouth. Here’s what I learned on this week’s Snooki and JWoww “Calm Down Hormonal.”
1. Snooki trained to be a vet tech but she doesn’t seem to like being around animals. At all. Snooki agreed to volunteer at a doggy daycare in order to help out JWoww with a discount and so she could make something of her degree. Getting to play with little doggies all day sounds like fun. But for Snooks, it looked terrible. She was cowering in a corner as the dogs jumped all over her (as dogs are apt to do) and when she had to pick up poop, she practically dry heaved. At least JWoww’s dog Bella had her back.
2. JWoww made a friend… At an organic cooking class, JWoww met Ashley, a cute twenty-something-year-old girl with a boyfriend in Austria. Her parents are professional bakers whom JWoww was trying to impress. That’s pretty much all I gathered about her given that she was on the show for five minutes. JWoww invited her out to dinner with her and Snooki since her roomie’s pregnancy was making her a little cuckoo bananas. Snooki liked her but still gave her the stink eye because, well she’s Snooki.
3. … and possibly loses a boyfriend? The episode ends on a pretty scary note, as Roger called JWoww and accused her of lying to him about a lawsuit, which she claimed to know nothing about. Since JWoww admitted she lies sometimes, it’s hard to know who to believe in this scenario. Hopefully it will all get sorted out, because despite all their issues, Roger and JWoww seemed to be good for each other.
By Jasmine Williams
This week, we see the Jersey Shore roomies be less than supportive of Snooki and her little meatball, J-Woww’s dad who surprisingly looks like an English professor, and Jionni try to kick Roger in the head.
Here’s what I learned on this week’s episode of Snooki and JWoww ”Sober party of one.”
1. Ouch, J-Woww! I get the Jersey Shore cast being less than supportive about Snooki’s big news. It is Snooki after all, the girl who blacked out on the very first night back in Season 1. But J-Woww’s supposed to be her bestie. You can’t join in with the teasing, you have to back her up. But she was arguably the worst, calling Snooki “miserable” and saying that watching her makes her not want to have a kid. Ouch, I really felt for Snooks with that one.
2. The gay friends Joey: These guys were so great, but Nicole’s Joey was the best. He took one shot of Patron too many and was completely wasted. He had J-Woww spray tan his butt, hit on Roger while slurring his words, and managed to flip the couch over while still sitting on it. Also, the fact that he looks like a guido lumberjack but sounds like David Beckham is comedy gold.
3. Roger needs to get laid: I’m getting really tired of him talking about how much he doesn’t get laid/his dick/his venereal disease history. Enough already. I know he’s all about being the funny guy, but it seems that especially when he’s drunk, he’s a bit of an oversharer. And the fact that tonight, he was sitting right next to J-Woww’s father? Disrespectful. Maybe if he and J-Woww smushed a little more, he wouldn’t be so obnoxious.
By Jasmine Williams
In this week’s episode, JWoww celebrates her birthday by eating herself in cake form. Then, the girls go to a sex museum and learn that deer have threesomes and pee their pants getting scared by ninjas at a Japanese restaurant in New York City. So just a regular day.
Here’s what I learned on this week’s episode of Snooki and JWoww ”It Looks Like a Meatball.”
1. Roger’s a big bully. I know I was singing Roger’s praises last week but in this episode, I couldn’t help but feel like his so-called friendly “ball-busting” of Jionni got a little mean. He’s short, we get it. But you know that friend who always takes a joke just a tad too far? Admittedly, singing the Oompa-Loompa song, when Snooki and Jionni got in the car was funny, and yes, their kid has a very small chance of making the NBA someday. But it seemed that Roger took any and every opportunity to drive that fact home, even when Snooki was visibly upset. Not cool man.
2. JWoww knows how to bargain. As the girls are getting settled into their new home, much of this episode consisted of them going from store to store looking for fabric and wallpaper. While I’m scared of what their place is going to like, as Snooki said that she wants her room be covered in animal print and “very tacky,” I must admit that I can learn a thing or two from JWoww. A pouty face and a bat of the lashes and she brought their purchase down almost 50%. Girl’s got some skills.
By Jasmine Williams
The second episode picks up exactly where the first left off, with JWoww still attempting to process Snooki’s big news but deciding to move in anyway, despite knowing nothing about what living with a pregnant chick might entail. Or anything about what’s on the lease for that matter. Sigh.
Here’s what I learned on this week’s episode of Snooki and JWoww “Sorry Neighbours, Cause These Bitches Are Moving In.”
1. Roger is the best. Honestly, I never thought much of Roger on Jersey Shore. He just seemed like a guy who had his act together and seemed to balance Jenni’s admittedly bitchy tendencies. But so far on Snooki and J-Woww, he has truly proven himself to be a great boyfriend. Despite disagreeing with Jenni’s choices to move in with Snooki, he supports her wholeheartedly, carrying her luggage in and never getting in her way. They also have a very cute banter that’s not super lovey-dovey and nauseating but just shows how they’re on the same page with each other. And when he tried to teach her to drive manual in his truck, it was priceless. That’s trust right there.
2. But JWoww needs to calm down. Despite her tough girl attitude, JWoww definitely has some insecurity that she needs to work on. When Roger and Jionni were joking about his future bachelorette party, she was against him even going. And now the joke she made in Ep. 1 about having his dick above her fireplace doesn’t seem so funny. Relax Jenni! Roger’s a good guy and he’s not going anywhere, but he will if you try to put him on such a short leash. But maybe she’s just moody because it’s her birthday and Jionni put a ring on it before Roger did.
3. Jionni and Snooki are really, really short. Obviously that goes without saying, but this episode really drove that fact home. When Snooki had to give her fiancé a boost to help him get luggage into the back of their SUV, it was like two Smurfs… well trying, to get luggage into an SUV. And standing next to Roger and JWoww, Snooki and Jionni really do look pint-sized. But Jionni’s a good sport and laughs off Roger’s constant short jokes. And with Snooki being only 4’9”, it makes sense that she’d be with a guy that’s not too much taller than her. And it may even be a good omen for her; we all remember how Kim and Kris worked out.
