Vice (naturally) met a guy who has been injecting himself with snake venom for over 20 years and he looks better than ever. Although the venom can result in an agonizing death in very little time, Steve Ludwin has been sticking snake juice from rattlesnakes  monocled cobras and vipers, in a syringe and mainlining it all the way to immortality.

The thought is that regular exposure to the venom helps your body develop a stronger immunity. While I’m not about to pick up a syringe of venom for myself, I’ve definitely got a big “huh” expression going on. How is this any different than an addiction?

Watch it here

I’m not entirely sure why this is addictive to me.  From the snake bursting the balloon to the dubbed screams of agony in the background, I really can’t help but die of laughter at this video as it keeps replaying on loop.

Now you, too, can own Justin’s Johnson.

Oh, I should mention that Johnson is Justin’s pet snake. The teen singer is auctioning off his slithery friend for charity. Hey, better auction off a pet than say, his grandmother or his third cousin.

National Post reports Johnson, a boa constrictor, is valued at $1,000. He’s actually actually seen more celebrities than, you know, other animals with no hands or feet. Them other snakes be jealous of Johnson’s appearance at this year’s MTV Music Awards.

So, if you got a grand just lying around, now here’s your chance to own something very, very cool. Think about how cool you’ll be at next week’s Show and Tell in class. “Hi guys, today I brought in Justin Bieber’s pet snake. No big deal!” Everyone will love you. Better ask mom and dad for an advance on your allowance.