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Rant ‘N Rave: The I Hate My Life Songs

Irene Ogrodnik — Wed, 08 Apr 2009 02:44:50 +0000

From time to time, I’m all down for some self-pity music. Once in awhile, I even like (some) lyrics that belt about broken hearts and broken dreams. But while some find such songs always comforting, others find an overuse extremely annoying.

I, of course, agree with the latter.

Let’s face it. We all have problems. Some of us confide our hatred for life on our Facebook statuses or on Twitter (oh you know who you are).

Others, like myself, prefer to keep our sorrow to ourselves.

The best complainers are artists who whine about the roads they’ve paved. Oh and about the millions of dollars they earned. And about how their ridiculous fame is too much for them to handle, as though they had no choice in the matter.

So, without further ado, here’s to the top five whiniest music singles (although there is many more) written by singers who, for one reason or another, think they have it a lot worse than their fans.

(Warning: Do not be alarmed if Simple Plan takes up most of the five spots).

5) ‘Rumors’ by Lindsay Lohan: We should’ve seen at what was to come when Lindsay released first her single ‘Rumors’ years back. She pleaded with the public to quit following her. To stop, you know, spreading rumours about her. Considering Lindsay only really burst into worldwide fame after the release of ‘Mean Girls’ the year prior, her “I’m tired of rumors starting” to her “I’m sick of being followed” to “I’m tired of people lying, saying what they want about me” lyrics were a bit premature. The funny part? The lyrics to this song are even more ridiculous when we look at Lindsay now. From her constant public fights with her now ex-girlfriend Samantha Ronson, to her just plain ridiculous driving habits, this girl doesn’t need anyone to start rumours to make her look bad. Unsurprisingly, this is the only thing she does very well on her own.

4) Tug of War – Carly Rae Jepsen: When I first heard this single on the radio, I couldn’t believe anyone would air this garbage. If you neglect to listen to the Carly’s other songs, you won’t realize that this girl actually has some music with substance. But, based on the single ‘Tug of War’ alone, it’s hard to imagine that this Canadian artist has any lyrical talent. Ahem, it pains me to re-write the lyrics from the chorus ‘Tug of War’ but here it goes:

“Don’t go out with the boys tonight, I won’t sleep a wink, wondering what you’re doing.

Don’t go out with the girls tonight, I will turn to drink, wondering what you’re proving.”

When I hear this song on the radio, I HOPE that he goes out with the girls tonight to prove whatever this artist doesn’t want him to prove. If Carly actually relates to what she spews out of her mouth, she needs to either a) dump this guy if he cannot be trusted or b) not date at all in order to avoid any behaviour that’s bound to resemble Glenn Close’s character in ‘Fatal Attraction.’

3) Lucky – Britney Spears: Oh Britney. She’s so lucky. She’s a star. But she cry cry cries in her lonely heart thinking if there’s nothing missing in [her] life then why do these tears come at night?

Could Britney’s lyrics get any worse? Yes, If You Seek Amy proves it so. However, I will give Britney kudos for one thing when it comes to her single ‘Lucky’. She admits that nothing is missing in her life (except, a few years later, she might say sanity) but that she still is just lonely. How sad. It still doesn’t forgive the fact that everyone who rises to fame in their life still needs to find a way to complain about their different lifestyle and their success. No one proves this point better than number two and number one on this list.

2) Welcome to My Life – Simple Plan: I know there’s a name for bands like Simple Plan. Punk? No. Emo? Not quite. Crap? Yup, that’s it. This band defines everything that is wrong with the music business. Simple Plan’s songs are talentless and redundant. When they sing such lyrics, I want to, excuse my explicitness, rip my ears off. For example: “No you don’t know what it’s like,? when nothing feels all right,? You don’t know what it’s like, To be like meeeeee”

Regardless of how I may come off in my rants, I love my life. And, the fact that this band complains about godknowswhat somehow gives me the urge to shove them into something. But, then again, perhaps I might think differently if I was making big money off my whining and complaining.

1) God Must Hate Me – Simple Plan: When a band sings the lyrics “God must hate me, he cursed me for eternity,” all I have to say is that yes, He does. He hates you. And your music. Just don’t wonder why because, when you sing this type of music, it must be painstakingly obvious.

Simple Plan Cover Hockey Theme

Eva Lam — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 07:25:44 +0000

Canada’s second national anthem has been Simple Plan-ified.

The Montreal band recorded a rock version of “The Hockey Theme” Friday for a video that will be shown on TSN.

The network, who nabbed the rights to the iconic song earlier this year from CBC, say Simple Plan are just the first of several Canadian artists who will give the tune a makeover.

Still, the network asserts it will always open its hockey broadcasts with the classic orchestral version of the song.

Simple Plan’s involvement reportedly came about last summer after TSN officials heard their version at the MuchMusic Video Awards, which led to the band being approached about doing it for the network.

Their version of the hockey theme will debut on TSN and RDS during Wednesday’s Boston-Montreal game, which kicks off at 7:30 p.m. ET.

Simple Plan Give $100,000 To Charities

andPOP Staff — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 02:07:30 +0000

It’s been a good week for Simple Plan.

Fresh off their people’s choice win at the MMVA’s for favourite Canadian band, Simple Plan gave back to charities this week.

Altogether, Montreal’s pop-punkers donated $100,000 in funds and gifts to 15 local, national and international charities–and two schools–through their Simple Plan Foundation.

The Simple Plan Foundation was launched during a show at Montreal’s Bell Centre in 2005. Their goal? To help young people dealing with problems, illness, handicaps, and those affected by war.

“We started the Simple Plan Foundation as a way to give back to our community and make a difference,” said a statement from the band.

“As a result of our personal experience and after reading hundreds of letters and e-mails from fans and talking to them at our shows, we are very sympathetic to the problems facing teenagers today.

“Also, having had the opportunity to travel the world, we’ve seen first-hand the harsh realities of children living in war-torn areas.

“We strongly believe that every child deserves a happy childhood and we hope that we can make a modest contribution.”

These are the charities that received donations from the foundation:

* Children’s Wish Foundation
* College Beaubois
* Ecole Jean-Piaget
* Jeunes Au Travail
* Kids Help Phone
* La Maison De Jeunes Kekpart
* La Maison Des Jeunes De Rimouski
* Le Garde-Manger Pour Tous
* Les Ateliers Art-Go
* Les Auberges Du Coeur
* Les Grands Amis De La Region De Matane
* LEUCAN
* The Lighthouse, Children And Families
* The Oasis
* On The Tip Of The Toes Foundation
* Portage
* War Child Canada

andPOP Interviews Simple Plan

andPOP Staff — Tue, 04 Mar 2008 21:29:35 +0000

Two albums. Seven million copies sold worldwide. A string of hits like “I’d Do Anything,” “Addicted,” “Perfect,” and “Welcome to My Life.” A worldwide legion of fans who can testify to the power of one of the fiercest live shows ever to hit the boards.

At this juncture, Lava/Atlantic rockers Simple Plan simply seem to have it locked. So for their crucial third album the group could just head back into the studio and do just what’s worked so well in the past, right?

Not quite.

Welcome to “SIMPLE PLAN,” not just an album but a statement of artistic ambition and growth from the Montreal-based quintet. As you’d expect from any band that would call its debut album “NO PADS, NO HELMETS…JUST BALLS,” the self-titled release is a fearless, without-a-net excursion into dynamic music-making, taking what we love best about Simple Plan — the unbridled energy, the ripping guitars, the hook-filled melodic sensibility — and incorporating a slew of inventive sonic approaches informed by new collaborators such as Nate “Danja” Hills (Timbaland, Justin Timberlake, Duran Duran, Nelly Furtado), Max Martin (James Blunt, Kelly Clarkson, Avril Lavigne), and Dave Fortman (Evanescence, Mudvayne).

andPOP sat down with the guys in Toronto.

Simple Plan Song Premiere and Webchat Monday

andPOP Staff — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 03:39:22 +0000

Simple Plan are back with “When I’m Gone,” their new single that will be released January 29th.

But the Plan know their fans simply can’t wait that long. So they’re holding a live webchat this coming Monday, October 29th.

Click on over to www.simpleplan.com at 6 p.m. EDT (3 p.m. PDT) for the world premiere of their hot track and chat with the Montreal boys.

For their new as-yet-untitled album, the boys have been working with recording superstars, like Dave Fortman (Evanescence, Mudvayne), Danjahands ( T.I., Timbaland, Justin Timberlake), and Max Martin (James Blunt, Kelly Clarkson, Avril Lavigne).

The new single may be like Christmas coming early for Simple Plan fans, but that’s not all – they’ll be doing a series of holiday-themed concerts through December, before setting off on their 2008 tour.

Simple Plan Visit Ottawa Bluesfest

andPOP Staff — Mon, 04 Jul 2005 17:41:03 +0000

The five Montrealers called Simple Plan, who continue to reach new fans worldwide, are growing up. Their latest album, ?Still Not Getting Any,” is emotional, sweet, dark, meaningful, well-written and fun.

Paul Telner spoke to Sebastien Lefebvre, Simple Plan?s guitarist and back-up vocalist from Zurich, Switzerland. The band recently performed in Barrie, Ontario, at Canada?s Live 8 Concert.

Before spending October in Australia and New Zealand, upcoming North American summer gigs include Quebec City (QC), Bozeman (MT), Salt Lake City (UT), Denver (CO), Springfield (IL), Clear Lake (CA), Stratford (ON) and Ottawa on Monday, July 11. In Canada?s capital, Simple Plan will perform at the Cisco Systems Bluesfest at the Dynamic Funds / Ottawa Senators Main Stage at Festival Plaza, located on the grounds of Ottawa City Hall.

Paul Telner: So bring us up to date with what?s happening with Simple Plan.
Sebastien Lefebvre: We?re not on a particular tour; we?re just doing a lot of promos, going around to different countries, and playing festivals and stuff like that. We?re pretty much everywhere right now.

Paul: How have audiences reacted to the new material?
Sebastien: It?s been really, really good actually. In Canada this record is doing a lot better than the other one and it hasn?t been out for a year yet. In the States it?s the same and pretty much around the world. Right now we?re trying to break Europe. This is our fourth time in Europe this year and every time we go it just keeps getting better and better.

Paul: Any favourite locations you like to tour?
Sebastien: Australia. Last summer our first record started getting huge over there. We went on tour with Green Day, and the crowds were awesome, but on top of it, it?s such a beautiful country. You can be in a really cool city, and then walk for five minutes and you?re on the beach. It?s kind of surreal.

Paul: The album seems more mature then your debut. What does this album mean to you?
Sebastien: This album is us. When we made the first record that was who we were back then. These are the songs that we want to do now, and this is the way we want Simple Plan to be. When it?s your first record, you?re kind of scared, you don?t know. Should we do this, should we do that? When we started making this, first thing in mind was to do whatever we wanted. Do we want a piano in this song, yes we do. Whatever we felt like doing, that?s what came out.

Paul: It seems that you guys don?t feel like you have to stick to one sound. You are experimenting and just striving to make great music.
Sebastien: We just want to play music and be a band. Obviously we?re always going to be in the rock area. We have two guitars, a drummer, bass, and we sing a lot. We don?t want to have any boundaries; we just want to make music. We look up to bands like No Doubt that put out any kind of song and it sounds like them. U2 or Weezer, they put out a song, and it sounds like them, and that?s what they are, and it?s not one particular style. Those are the bands we look up to. This record is a good step towards doing that.

Paul: Tell me about the chemistry between the guys.
Sebastien: We?re best friends. You can?t be in a band, if you?re not with your best friends. We have known each other for so long; we?re almost like brothers now. We give each other space when we need space. We hang out when we feel like hanging out, and it?s all good!

Paul: From the days of travelling around in your parent?s station wagons, to now being one of the most popular bands around, what?s been the best part and downside of your popularity?
Sebastien: We just love what we do. We like to tour, play shows and we get to do that in front of big crowds now, and it really feels good. The only downside is, we?re a little bit busier than we have been before. Obviously we miss our families, my girlfriend, my friends, and all that because I don?t get to see them as much as I want to, but at the same time this is what we do.

Paul: What were the challenges for you on this record? How did you mentally, physically and musically prepare yourself for it?
Sebastien: We?re really proud of the first record and the songs we made, but looking back, we did it a little too perfectly. So our main idea was to have it sound a little more live and rockin?. When we got into the studio, we weren?t trying to create that masterpiece; it?s just a rock song, so just play it.

Paul: Has everything been a dream come true?
Sebastien: To be in a band, if you really think you are going to make it, it has to be a dream. It?s a lot harder work than people think. People think if you?re in a band, you will play concerts and make lots of money, and that?s what it is, but that?s not what it is. We have to work really, really hard to get what you want, but it?s all worth it.

Paul: With a tornado of fans, and having all the positive feedback from people, how do you stay grounded and not let it all go to your head?
Sebastien: I think the way our careers happened, it was super gradual. Our first record came out and it did well in Canada and Japan, but badly everywhere else. It was like alright, let?s start working. Then we sell 200 records, and then 500 records and it was super, super gradual. For the first three years of our career, we toured non-stop everyday with the shows just getting a little bit bigger, little bit bigger, little bit bigger, so it was never like BOOM.

Paul: You must love coming back to play Canada. Is that the best place for you guys to play?
Sebastien: We haven?t played a proper tour in Canada for such a long time. I think we?re planning to do one in the fall and it?s going to be really exciting.

Paul: Ottawa is very excited for you guys to hit Bluesfest. What can people expect from your show?
Sebastien: A kick ass rock show!

Paul: What do you say to young people out there, about following their dreams and specifically about making a career out of music?
Sebastien: Yeah, just do it and don?t give up because everybody is going to tell you, you suck! That?s the way it is! Keep going; write your own songs, play some shows and if you are good, it will work out. If you?re not good, then you will end up like us!

Paul: Tell me about ?Untitled (How Could This Happen To Me?? and its connection to MADD.
Sebastien: When we wrote this song, it was just about tragedy. When they were planning on making the video, it was something that?s happened before in our high school, we wanted to make a video about drunk driving. MADD approached us, thought it awesome and wanted to help us out. At the same time we wanted to help them out. We just want to make people think, ya know? We didn?t want to do a cheesy PSA that kids don?t relate to that, so we did the video and we just wanted to make people think that there are more consequences to their actions, more than they think.

—

Simple Plan?s single ?Untitled (How Could This Happen To Me?)? is a personal look at what happens when tragedy hits close to home. The powerful video tells the story of the innocent victims affected by drinking and driving. MADD (Mother?s Against Drunk Driving) organizations all around the world are also involved.

The video ends with the message: Traffic accidents are the number one killer of teens and nearly one-third of teen-traffic deaths are alcohol-related. For More Information: 1-800-GET-MADD www.madd.org

Wanda Kristensen, MADD Canada?s Program Director told Paul, ?We think that they did an excellent job. The video really showed the emotion and tragedy that happens when an impaired driver hits someone and kills them and how it impacts the entire family.?

?The video?s response has been overwhelming. We have sent it out to all of our chapters across Canada, and our volunteers who are going into the schools take it with them to use it as an illustration about what can happen. Our volunteers are so pleased to be able to use it. As well we are putting it in our multi-media production for 2005/06 which will be launched in September to about 500,000 students across Canada.?

?In June, every time the video gets played on MuchMusic, Musique Plus and every spin on Contemporary Hit Radio (CHR), MADD Canada gets a donation of $1 from Simple Plan. There is no way to really measure how many lives will be saved but we know its having a huge impact. The teens are seeing it and can?t help being affected by it. It?s a win / win story.?

Paul Telner (www.paultelner.com) is a comedian/personality who hosts/created Apauled, the most popular American college comedy show.