I have gone over a few times in past posts about how I think Winston is the most underrated character and under-utilized actor on the New Girl cast. Whether you agree or disagree (Schmidt does put up an excellent fight for audience favourite, for sure), it’s undeniable that Lamorne Morris is a comedic genius. His timing is impeccable, his tone is always spot on and his delivery is perfect. The New Girl writers are making it super hard for me to pick just one of the guys to marry and settle down with and live happily ever after, let me tell you that much.
This week, My Personal Top 10 Winston Bishop Moments (season 1 and 2):
1. Rant “It is Saturday”
This is my all-time favourite Winston moment. Sure, others have come and gone that could be argued are better suited to top this list, but this was the moment that I realized that I loved Winston Bishop.
Winston just started a new job, forcing him to work strange hours. That same Saturday that he’s trying to catch up on his sleep, Nick gets caught two-timing a few girls, Jess finds out that the guys have fantasized about her, Cece has some weird, sort of quarter-life crisis and Schmidt is outed for sleeping with Cece. Shenanigans. Winston wakes up to enter the living room and break up the chaos and goes on this little tangent. It’s really the first time we get to see Winston do something really, really funny that makes him stand out from the rest of the cast;and yes, everything about it is perfect:
“Okay now Saturday, is a day for sleeping. And damn it! You will NOT take that away from me! Who am I? WHO AM I? Well I am Theodore K. Mullins. And Nick is my lover on the downlow. Tell her Nick. Tell her how it really goes down in apartment 4D! Oh great Negro spiritual, please come down and loosen these chains on this woman! Flesh on flesh. When the lights are off, we are all the same. Dear Lord, HELP ME, Father! Get out of my house. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!”
“Now go away. Because I’M having cereal.”
2. Winston singing “Defying Gravity” and other songs from the musical Wicked
Really, any clip of Winston singing anything is spectacular. You will see this again down the list. But arguably one of the best New Girl moments thus far as a whole (yeah, I’ll go there) is when Winston is driving to see Shelby and starts singing songs from the musical Wicked at the top of his lungs on the drive to Mexico, unaware that Cece and Schmidt are in the trunk, hiding.
3. Breaking down at Nick’s dad’s funeral
I know Winston was close to Nick and his family but this moment… I CAN’T EVEN.
4. “I’ve got thick thighs and a fat ass!”
While I’m in slight disbelief someone is still thinking about auto-tuning everything, this New Girl auto-tuned video is actually pretty funny. It’s not like Zooey Deschanel (who stars as Jessica Day) needs it — as one half of She & Him, Deschanel has a pretty stellar singing voice. It’s just really funny to see Jess and Nick’s (played by Jake Johnson) ongoing love story condensed into a handy two minute video. Also, I really don’t mind hearing Schimdt say, “I don’t want some freshwater bitch fish. I want a lion fish” either.
This week Nick (and the rest of the group) has to deal with Nick’s father’s passing. The gang road trips it to Chicago for the funeral and Jess gets to meet the fam.
WARNING: Do not go into this episode thinking the entire thing will be cupcakes and rainbows and a shirtless half hour of Ryan Gosling. Sh*t got a little real this episode. There was more emotion this week than we’re used to seeing from the series, but the writers hit the nail on the head with the balance of appropriate humour and comedic relief. It wasn’t an episode to challenge the likes of Grey’s Anatomy or anything, but let’s just say my roommate and I caught each other sniffling. Here are a few things from this week:
1. “Nick’s just mad because that balloon beat his punk ass”
Jess brings home a bunch of helium balloons from a guy giving them away out of his van. Classic Jess. Also- this is all I want my life to be. Just sitting around, huffing helium all day, ‘err day, the rest of my life. I know, I’m an overachiever. Try and tell me that’s not the most fun ever. I dare you.
2. Winston Gets Cheated
Winston gets an A+. As per usual, I felt like Winston got a little cheated this episode. I feel like Winston repeatedly gets cheated. He’s primarily being used to cap off a punch line or give the joke that little extra dash of emotion or expression to send it over the edge of hilarity. He knows how to play it and he does it well. I really want an episode to be centered around Winston. Why? Because of reasons, that’s why. That and it would probably be my favourite episode ever.
2. “IT’S CALLED PAP!”
NICK KROLL GUEST STARS?! WHAT?! WHAT!!! YES. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE MAKE HIM RECURRING. I can’t even. All my emotions.
2. “I really feel transported to the ghetto.”
I think this should be mandatory at all funerals? P.S Mamma miller can break it down.
2. Nick and Jess are meant to be
Nick and Jess are going to end up getting married. It’s going to happen. I don’t know how I feel about this upon further reflection, but we’ll see.
By Jasmine Williams
On tonight’s finale, tears were almost shed at the thought of Nick moving out of the apartment to move in with his old girlfriend Caroline in their brand new place. Also, there’s trouble in paradise with Cece and Schmidt when jealousy rears its ugly head. But in true New Girl fashion, the episode ends with a rad pajama dance party.
Here’s what I learned on last night’s New Girl episode, “See Ya.”
1) Nick is leaving. For real. As in we’re only five minutes into the episode and the moving truck is packed and everything. But Jess isn’t so sure that he should go, Winston is scared of the dark without Nick’s lamp, and the new roommate has a creature in a box so that should be enough of a reason for Nick to never, ever leave.
2) Schmidt freaked out at Cece’s photo-shoot and turned into a metrosexual jealous monster. And when Cece tries to talk to him about it, it turns out that he feels that he’s not good enough for her and that she would never be happy with him. He even tries to set her free like a wild jungle cat kept in a basement. It doesn’t go over well. Hopefully this isn’t the end of Ce-Schmidt.
3) Nick freaks out over moving in with Caroline and drives about 140 miles past his new apartment. But luckily, a phone call from her calms him down. Unluckily, this occurs a couple seconds after he throws his keys into the desert. Definitely not the best timing. But the gang comes to the rescue to help him out. Read more…
If you’re a fan of New Girl like I am, you’ll know that proud douche Schmidt used to be very insecure and overweight when he was younger. Since he’s a wealth of useless advice, Vulture asked the illustrator Jon Defreest to re-imagine the television character as a Richard Simmons-style gym instructor, as seen above.
Schmidt responded with an unintentionally funny video of him quad-dominating the class of booted-off character Coach. Nothing screams douche like a guy working out to David Guetta’s “Turn Me On,” wearing pants that are way too tight.
Watch it below:
By Jasmine Williams
Cece and Schmidt are officially on the house’s radar, but I can’t help but miss the secrecy surrounding their relationship and the thrill of the two of them almost getting caught. Now, hearing the two openly talk about their sexual adventures and seeing them walking around in bed sheets and towels is getting a little TMI, in my opinion.
Also, when is Nick going to get a major storyline? After his break-up with lawyer Julia, he’s been like a lost puppy and his man crush on Russell is getting creepy. Dude needs a hobby or something.
Anyways, here’s what I learned on last night’s New Girl, “Normal.”
1) Jess hasn’t gone home in a week now that she’s spending all her time with her older man Russell. Go Jess! Only she can bring a guy to his knees by seductively announcing she’s wearing his boxer briefs under her dress. But wait, doesn’t she have a job? She seems to have a lot of free time for a school teacher.
2) Jess realizes after her luxurious mini-vacay with Russell in his fancy rich world that he’s never stayed over at her rundown apartment, with her three, quirky-is-an-understatement male roommates. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing? She invites him over anyway and warns the guys to be on their best behaviour, but of course, it turns into a disaster. Read more…
By Jasmine Williams
Here’s how the secret spills: Winston blabbers to Nick, then Nick’s back starts sweating, then Jess forces the weakling to tell her the secret. Now everybody knows that Cece and Schmidt are hooking up! I’ve been waiting so long for this reveal and it didn’t disappoint. The best part was seeing Schmidt righteously grinning the entire time now that he can admit he’s getting the most action in the apartment. Win for Schmidt!
Anyway, here are five things I learned on last night’s episode of New Girl, “Secrets.”
1) Jess isn’t a fan of secrets. Understandably, she’s unimpressed that her BFF hid a secret for two months and she’s the last to know. In true awkward fashion, she literally runs away from Cece when she sees her and hides in a truck.
2) Serial monogamist Nick has been having one-night-stands with barely-legals. Sounds like a decent (albeit sleazy) situation, but he’s having trouble giving them the morning brush-off since he’s a bad liar and can’t keep a secret to save his life. He hits a new low when he asks Schmidt, now the master douchebag, for some lady help. Can’t lie, the role-play scenes between these two were quite convincing.
3) Jess wants to forbid all past and future secrets. But when she tries to open a dialogue with the guys, she ends up finding out that everyone in the house has “self-completed” while thinking of her. Yup, that’s going to make sharing a bathroom a little awkward.
Watch it here:
4) Winston taps into his inner gospel preacher and becomes the melodic voice of reason of Apartment 4D. He stops two of Nick’s hook-ups from killing each other over a left-behind circle scarf and prevents Jess from doing pretty much the same with Cece. Meanwhile, Schmidt’s still smiling like he can’t believe his luck. Neither can we, dude.
5) CeCe likes Schmidt! CeCe likes Schmidt! And nobody knows except for Jess. How the tables have turned!
By: Jasmine Williams
Is anybody else getting tired with Jess’ “I’m so socially awkward” act? It hit a new level of annoying in this episode with her whining over her rich, new boyfriend. I feel like she should walk a mile in Nick’s shoes, he’s legitimately pathetic right now.
But in other (more exciting) news, somebody (i.e. Winston) has finally found out about CeCe and Schmidt! And it involved him finding them practically mid-coitus in the back of Schmidt’s SUV and almost getting arrested by US border police. Really, would we have it any other way?
Here’s what I learned on last night’s New Girl “Fancyman Part 2.”
1) Nick has a law school friend staying over at the apartment who sexually harasses Jess and CeCe, demeans Schmidt and completes a downward dog in the span of three minutes. He also hits on undergrads. Ladies and gentleman, we have a new record for douchebaggery!
2) CeeCee is willing to be Schmidt’s sex-cretary to distract Schmidt from his work and seduce him. Seems like things are getting serious between these two if rented costumes are involved. And I now know that Schmidt has nicknamed her boobs “Harold and Kumar.” TMI.
3) Winston owns the entire Wicked soundtrack. And sings along alone in his car. To ALL of the songs. He also steals his Schmidt’s car to drive to Mexico to see his girlfriend. While I approve of his musical taste (Idina Menzel is fabulous as Elphaba), I’m not sure if the gesture is cute or creepy/stalker-like.
5) CeCe would rather sit in Schmidt’s urine than admit that they’re boinking. But she’s forced to admit it to Winston when they get caught in Schmidt’s trunk by a customs officer in a rather compromising position. Winston’s still in shock.
5) Jess’s new older beau reassures her that he wants to do her. In his buggy on the way to the picture show. Kidding. I’m just glad his daughter didn’t catch her dad and her teacher making out in a parked car like teenagers. Awkward.
By Jasmine Williams
While Jess and her new older man-friend Russell are the intended focus of this episode, I can’t help but pity Nick. He’s so broke that he weighs more than his credit score, can’t afford a phone and wears said older man-friend’s sweater to be a little more like him. The whole thing comes across as
playfully self-depreciating embarrassingly delusional.
Anyway, here are five things I learned from last night’s episode of New Girl, Fancyman, Part 1:
1) Nick has a really low credit score — like 250 low — which means he must become “the guy without a phone” as an attempt to make his poverty seem less like, well poverty, and more like a lifestyle choice. Also, apparently it’s okay for sales associates to openly mock and laugh at customers with ridiculously low scores, ie Nick. That’s cold, real cold.
2) Jess has to suck up to a student’s father (Russell) because the principal doesn’t want to lose the guy’s yearly donation. Jess is all ready to chew him out and “stick it to the man” but then he helps her out when her car stalls by — wait for it — lending her his car! So much for “fight the power,” right?
Jess plans to stick it to the man:
3) Schmidt is a trivia god. In proper Shmidty form, he’s not humble about his brilliance and will probably have to invest a serious amount of cash in the douchebag jar. He also knows how to completely ruin a make-out session with his big mouth. Yes Schmidt, you were talking too much while Winston kissed his new girlfriend.
4) Winston is still a part-time nanny (remember that?) and he’s so peeved about Schmidt’s trivia prowess, that he gets the young boy he’s looking after to tutor him. Somehow his foolproof plan of memorizing random trivia questions about key subjects like “Mesopotamia” didn’t work out and Schmidt still kicks his butt.
5) Russell is nice to Nick (the poor bartender) because he knows what it’s like to be young and broke but mostly because he’s Jess’ friend. I guess he really likes her but it’s a little suspicious that he’s compelled to give away an expensive iPhone to get a girl. Anyway, Jess and Russell have plans for a date and I can’t help but wonder whether their clashing values are going to work out.
By Jasmine Williams
Last night’s episode was just another example of how New Girl is slowly becoming the “Schmidt Show,” with him being the focus of not just one but two plot lines. Not that I mind, he’s clearly the most hilarious and well-developed character on the show and we even got a fat Schmidty flashback last night which is always fun (minus the vomit).
But the main plot lines are starting to drag and the subplots are becoming a little cliché and forced. Schmidt changes, and then everyone realizes he was better before? Sounds more like a Disney Channel original movie than a network TV show. And it needed more SchmeCe! Cemidt? I’ll work on it.
Anyway, here are five things I learned on last night’s episode “Control.”
1) Schmidt is growing increasingly neurotic about his secret sexy-time situation with CeCe. And who wouldn’t when a midnight rendezvous requires an encounter with the “new homeless” and soiling a pair of suede loafers?
2) Nick’s financial situation is getting dicey. After losing a poker game, a hungover Nick wakes up with curious cannon shapes on his back (note: definitely not cannons, Jess) and a $487 debt to Winston. But Nick is broke and neither is letting it go, reminding each other of all their previous debts and favours.
3) Jess probably shouldn’t have challenged Schmidt’s neat-freak ways by turning the apartment into an episode of “Storage Wars” and taking him to the beach. A hutch is broken and Tahitian vanilla is placed next to the garden variety. Needless to say it gets ugly.
4) There is a very delicate balance of control in the apartment. Schmidt learns to relax but Nick and Winston descend into chaos, getting into a fistfight in a grocery checkout line. Also, Schmidt joins a drum circle and eats street meat. The apocalypse is nigh.
5) Looks like CeCe is possibly falling for Schmidt when she sneaks into the apartment for some late-night nookie. But does she really want him, or just his itty-bitty-Schmidty? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.