Although barely over five-feet (or is it inches?) tall, I attribute many things that are wrong in this world—along with Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan—to these two.

They fooled us with their “greatness” from the start. We all remember these mini-millionaire moguls from their Full House days where, unlike now, they actually charmed audiences with their cuteness and cheesy lines (How rude!)

But soon after the sitcom ended, the fraternal twins starred in two TV shows: Two of a Kind (which I will shamefully admit wasn’t half bad) and So Little Time aka The Worst Sitcom Ever. The plethora of terrible movies—which I choose not to recall because they still make me cringe—that followed shortly didn’t help the acting careers of either twin.

Yet somehow their enterprise still flourished. This is how I know that these two are up to no good. There is no scientific explanation out there that will make me understand how these two who are neither stunning nor talented make it in the show biz. From their chain-smoking, and drug-using ways to their atrocious fashion sense and eating disorders, these two are horrible idols. Yet children and parents around the world still buy into their crap and, according to Forbes in 2007, have somehow managed to make these two the eleventh richest women in entertainment.
I’m freakin’ baffled.

But one Trollson twin isn’t as equally horrendous as the other. We all know which of the two is the better one. The one who takes the medal for the least messed up twin would evidently be Ashley Olsen. This is really embarrassing when we consider her competition.

While Mary-Kate battled anorexia and rehab (which is a serious matter but still) and her break-up with Greek shipping heir Stavros Niarchos III (Hilton’s ex/current/ex beau) made her a bigger wreck (yeah, I’m also surprised that such is possible), Ashley came out on top as the stronger and more gathered twin.

While both master the “I robbed a homeless person’s AND my grandmother’s wardrobe” look, Ashley took matters into her own hands by stating that she and her sister no longer wish to be referred to as “The Olsen Twins” but as Mary-Kate Olsen and Ashley Olsen, respectively. Yeah, you tell them troll err… girl!

Although in recent years Mary-Kate added more acting credits to her career than her sister, her movie and TV stints…stank. Remember her passionate kiss with Sir Ben Kingsley in The Wackness? I almost gouged my eyes out. Or her re-occurring role as Tara—the devoted Christian girl (hold laughter)—on the hit show Weeds? Yup, she almost ruined that show for me.

Perhaps one Mary-Kate’s worst headliner was one year ago. Authorities questioned her connection to the late actor Heath Ledger—who was found dead in her apartment. The actress refused to speak to authorities unless she was granted immunity. Still no definite word about what happened.

So while both Olsen twins are better off not acting or designing clothing that even dogs wouldn’t wear, it pains me to know that these two will still be around in years to come.

WRITER’S NOTE: Rant ‘N Rave is the new opinionated blog on celebrities, entertainment, music and pop culture. As a personal big fan of The Prerogative, I hope you receive similar satisfaction from reading this weekly blog.

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