Is there a better way to welcome the new pope than giving your friend a wet willie during live television? No, there is not.
According to the prankster’s friend, redditor freenarth, his school didn’t find the prank so funny and suspended him.
let’s be honest here, if there is a God, he wouldn’t send you to hell for it, let alone suspend you for it. I’m sure he’s a reasonable guy — wait, what? He killed 42 children for calling his prophet, “baldy?” Well, then. We’re all screwed. See you all in hell.
Come on, sooouuunndd it ooouuut. His name is Jorge Mario Bergolio, but WFAN radio sportscaster Mike Francesca has a hard time announcing the name of the new pope. What’s funny about this video is how confused and irritated Francesca gets. Maybe he should’ve stuck with the pope’s new name: Francis I. I’d be careful Mike, The pope is buddy-buddy with the big G, you wouldn’t want them to smite you! Lol!
For the first time in over 600 years, the head of the Catholic Church, otherwise known as the Pope, resigned from the holy post on Monday. Because this happens to be the Internet, everyone seems to have an opinion on who should replace Pope Benedict XVI as the religion’s high poobah.
Many have offered some more progressive suggestions for the perpetually conservative religion (Black! Hispanic! A woman!) but who would ever have thought that Lindsay Lohan’s name would have entered the fray, even if it was a complete forgery.
Just so we’re 100 per cent clear, the above tweet is a fake. It’s really not that hard to fake a tweet. Even so, it’s still a hilarious thought that Lindsay Lohan of all people would ever aspire so high.
While the Vatican does have their own system and pool of more highly qualified candidates to choose from, we can’t help but think of some celebrities that would make a better Pope. So here are the top 5 people that would make a better Pope than Lindsay Lohan.
1. Oprah Winfrey
She’s already a goddamn saint without actually being a saint.
2. Beyoncé
We’re already loyal followers of Queen Bey. I’m sure she has more wisdom to share with us.
3. Ellen Degeneres
Because the world would be a happier place with Degeneres leading it.
4. Sir Ian McKellen
He’s Gandalf and Magneto! Turning water into wine should be a piece of cake for the knight. He’s also proudly gay. Bonus progressive points!
5. A Cat
Remember, we just need to beat Lindsay Lohan here. No need to look to far.
The Grammys are known for outlandish “I can’t believe you went there fashions” and this year was no disappointment. These head-scratchers are among the best-worst fashions of the night, though their artistic message is up to you.
1) Sasha Gradiva wore a weapon-sleeve with her pink strapless dress. On Twitter, she said the look was meant to remind people to stand up for world peace and use weapons for artistic purposes only — ie her dress.
2) Nicki Minaj was escorted to the Grammys by a Pope impostor and dressed as a Cardinal-esque Little Red Riding Hood. Clearly, the Versace outfit was the only fitting option to prepare us for her later exorcism, which was successfully completed during her performance of “Roman Holiday.” What else would she wear for the occasion? Read more…
Sadly, Kanye is not on this year’s WTF Grammy list, which has us wondering, is he taming down or saving his energy for something doubly shocking? Only time will tell. In the meantime, there were plenty of bewildering/confusing/awkward moments to tide us over.
1) No one knows who Bon Iver is. Really? This is like last year’s who the f**k is Arcade Fire moment. Bon Iver won best new artist, though he’s not exactly new on the scene. A new Twitter account has been created in recognition, called Who Is Bonnie Bear?
2) Nicki Minaj’s Grammy ensemble made her usual skin-bearing outfits look conservative. Minaj channeled her religious side, donning a red Versace Catholic-inspired robe. She had a Pope look-a-like escort her and later performed an exorcism on herself — not sure how her date felt about that part. We’re comparing this to Lady Gaga’s egg moment of last year.
3) The most ironic moment of the night goes to the Foo Fighter’s walking off the stage to LMFAO’s “Party Rock” after winning best rock performance. Grohl shouted “long live rock ‘n’ roll” as the electro pop song negated their point.
4) Coldplay got slack for his cracking voice. We all thought Adele was the one to worry about, what with her throat surgery and all, but apparently Chris Martin and Rihanna’s performance was not a favourite. Strangely, a Chipotle commercial aired right after the performance, featuring Coldplay’s music, prompting many to say the commercial represented an actual Coldplay performance. I don’t see the big deal! I don’t think his voice was that bad. Just me? Okay.
5) The Beach Boys reunion underwhelmed audiences. I hate to say it, but it kind of felt like a performance for a Florida retirement home. The California boys shared the stage with Maroon 5 and Foster the People. Foster the People has my vote as best of the three, though the band looked scared out of their minds.
His Holiness has spoken.
Former British alternative rock band Oasis have been featured on a list of the Pope’s favourite albums, reports msn.com.
The list was recently revealed in the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano and showed Oasis’ 1995 album, What’s The Story Morning Glory? coming in at third place. However, the newspaper went on to say that the band were the “protagonists of 90s Britpop, led by the terrible Gallagher brothers, working-class children.”
It’s no great surprise that the Pope isn’t a major endorser of the Twlight series.
Conveniently timed to the release of the “New Moon” sequel to Twilight, the Vatican culture council leader, Monsignor Franco Perazzolo, issued a statement about the underlying evil in the series. According to E! online, he said “this film is nothing more than a moral vacuum with a deviant message and as such should be of concern”
His next comment further solidifies his position on the vampire and werewolf packed flick. “This theme of vampires in Twilight combines a mixture of excesses that, as ever, is aimed at young people and gives a heavy esoteric element.”
