For the first time in over 600 years, the head of the Catholic Church, otherwise known as the Pope, resigned from the holy post on Monday. Because this happens to be the Internet, everyone seems to have an opinion on who should replace Pope Benedict XVI as the religion’s high poobah.
Many have offered some more progressive suggestions for the perpetually conservative religion (Black! Hispanic! A woman!) but who would ever have thought that Lindsay Lohan’s name would have entered the fray, even if it was a complete forgery.
Just so we’re 100 per cent clear, the above tweet is a fake. It’s really not that hard to fake a tweet. Even so, it’s still a hilarious thought that Lindsay Lohan of all people would ever aspire so high.
While the Vatican does have their own system and pool of more highly qualified candidates to choose from, we can’t help but think of some celebrities that would make a better Pope. So here are the top 5 people that would make a better Pope than Lindsay Lohan.
1. Oprah Winfrey
She’s already a goddamn saint without actually being a saint.
2. Beyoncé
We’re already loyal followers of Queen Bey. I’m sure she has more wisdom to share with us.
3. Ellen Degeneres
Because the world would be a happier place with Degeneres leading it.
4. Sir Ian McKellen
He’s Gandalf and Magneto! Turning water into wine should be a piece of cake for the knight. He’s also proudly gay. Bonus progressive points!
5. A Cat
Remember, we just need to beat Lindsay Lohan here. No need to look to far.
She may not be on daytime television anymore, but Oprah Winfrey continues to show us why she was the reigning Queen of the prolific talk show format on Oprah’s Next Chapter.
In her latest not-Oprah-Winfrey-Show special, the big O (stop it with your dirty minds) managed to crack open Lance Armstrong. The disgraced cycling star readily confessed to all the doping allegations that have been shoveled on him for almost a decade.
Armstrong isn’t the only star to have confessed to all the years of lies and debauchery on Oprah’s couch (or non-couch for those still watching post-”retired” Oprah party). For some reason, Oprah was the go-to-person for celebrities who finally wanted to escape from their emotional burden. To be fair, Oprah is no Jay Leno; she doesn’t let her guests off that easily. But they could’ve gone to Barbara Walters or Peter Mansbridge (if they were Canadian) for some tough love.
Maybe the source of all of Oprah’s truth-pulling abilities come from her kind eyes and warm voice. Seriously, would you be able to lie to this face?
This also happens to be the woman who has given away millions of dollars of free gifts, cars (YOU GET A CAR! YOU GET A CAR! YOU GET A CAR!), trips to Australia and makeovers. Not to mention, the lady has been running her own network of charities for years. If that doesn’t give you enough reasons to break down in front of Oprah and purge yourself of all the lies and deceit you wouldn’t tell your own priest. When you think about it in that way, it kind of sounds like Oprah is God.
In any case, here are just a few of the celebrities that have fallen to possibly holier than thou power of Ms. Oprah Winfrey.
1. Rihanna
Last August, the Babe from Barbados confessed to Oprah that Chris Brown was the love of her life. It was the basically the Earth-shattering confession that no one wanted to hear considering Brown beat her face to a pulp right before the 2009 Grammys. Rihanna most likely felt at ease confessing to Oprah as she apparently had no opinion on the controversial re-pairing. Are we taking note, J-School undergrads?
2. Tom Cruise
Tom Cruise’s now tragic relationship with Katie Holmes will forever be defined by the moment Cruise lost it on Oprah’s couch. You could tell he was so bursting with love due to his new relationship but it took Oprah to unlatch the crazy that was in him and would forever change the star. Think about it. Pre-couch jumping incident, Cruise was the most bankable action star. But after he took that leap of faith on Oprah’s stage, he suddenly became this controlling, Scientology nut job. Cruises’ now recuperating public figure can only be attributed to the nice stories his co-stars have been spreading. Wrapping up a scene to get Bill Hader onto a plane to see his family? The ultimate “aww” inducing story.
3. The Kardashians Read more…
Oprah Winfrey let some major news out of the closet this past weekend – and no, it wasn’t Gayle King!
The 56-year-old announced that she has a half-sister named Patricia living in Milwaukee. O had no idea she had a sibling until Thanksgiving last year when she discovered that her mother, Vernita Lee, gave up her sis shortly after birth due to money constraints. Oprah, 9 at the time, was living with her father and had no idea about the pregnancy!
Winfrey has been teasing the huge news since last week through promos for the show, saying “I thought I’d seen it all. But this, my friends, is the miracle of all miracles…This time, I’m the one being reunited.”
Tune in today to watch Oprah and Patricia make their television debut!
Hugh Jackman is a showman, so it’s not surprising he would want to make a dramatic entrance into Oprah’s show at the Sydney Opera House in Australia. However, he created more drama than was initially anticipated.
The plan was for Jackman to zip line from the top sail of the Opera House down to the stage. Unfortunately reports suggest he was doing roughly 80km/h by this point, and hit the brakes too late. This then caused him to bash his eye into a lighting rig, causing a minor injury.
When taping continued, Jackman commented, “That was so much fun until the end,” he said. Referring the Winfrey’s previous guest, he added with a laugh: “Bono was meant to do this, but they couldn’t afford the insurance.”
See the video below for footage of the incident.
It looks like Oprah’s going to be doing more than just taping a few shows during her trip to Australia this week.
Radar Online is reporting that the queen of middle-aged women everywhere took a break from her show’s special taping schedule in the land down under to take a yacht cruise with the ever-charming Russell Crowe.
O and Crowe took a quick sail through Sydney Harbor followed by a flotilla of smaller boats carrying the hundreds of lucky women and fans. The ladies were winners of the talk show’s dream trip giveaway and were invited to accompany Oprah on the landmark trip and taping.
We imagine this was a segment for the show and not just some spontaneous yachting jaunt…right?
Fellow Aussies Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban are also due to hang with Winfrey during the trip, though what exactly they’ll be doing with her and her guests is unclear.
Come on, Nicole! We want to see Oprah go scuba diving on the Great Barrier Reef!
Brace yourself for sky-high ratings amongst your Australian audience, Ms. Winfrey!
Excuse the obscure nature of this post, but in dramatic news, Oprah Winfrey is assuring the world she is not a lesbian to put an end to any swirling rumours about her and longtime gal-pal Gayle King. I’m “not even kind of a lesbian,” the TV host tells Barbara Walters in an ABC interview.
Oprah also comments on her longtime partner since 1986, American businessman Stedman Graham, and how the two are still happily together. While Graham is rarely mentioned, his union with Oprah is widely known.
The Walters-Winfrey special is scheduled to air this Thursday night on ABC, where hopefully many fascinating tidbits are revealed. Perhaps she will admit that one of “Oprah’s Favourite Things” is actually only one of her second favourite things. I’m lookin at you Sarabeth’s Kitchen Jam. Your spreadability was less than ideal.
You probably remember a little while back when Oprah Winfrey gave her entire studio audience a free trip to Australia. As PopEater reports, the talk show legend isn’t shy to give to other shows either.
She appeared via satellite on The Daily Show to give the audience a huge gift—a free trip to the “Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear” in Washington D.C., which is being held by Jon Stewart and fellow Comedy Central star Steven Colbert. Oprah showed up on screen and made the big announcement.
“So Jon, remember when you were just here on my show, [and] we talked about how I was taking my audience to Australia,” Winfrey said. “And you said that your audience never gets anything.”
“I wanted to show my support for you, Jon, and also for your audience. So here’s what I did, I had my staff sneak into your studio early this morning with a little gift.”
Oprah instructed the audience to look under their seats, where tickets had been hidden, and shouted, “You’re going to the rally! You’re going to the rally! You’re going to the rally! Everybody’s going to the RALLY! … Now get out there and restore some SANITY.”
Oprah is reportedly paying for airfare as well as hotel accommodations for Stewart’s audience, letting them take part in the October 30th rally that is aimed to promote voter turnout for midterm elections from all political walks of life.
Even billionaires are doing it!
Radar Online is reporting that Oprah Winfrey and BFF Gayle King have decided to get away from it all with a nice camping trip to Yosemite. A fellow shopper spotted the talk show queen and chatted her up about her purchases.“She was super nice and said they had never been camping before together so she was excited,” the eyewitness added.
We’ll never understand why people with more money than God feel the desire to leave it all behind for a pop-up tent and some fanny packs. Can’t you pay someone to do your camping for you, O?
Winfrey and King spent about an hour in the store perusing before settling on an unearthly amount of camping gear. The entire outdoors experience will be taped for the final season of Oprah’s talk show and should air sometime in late October.
Can we come too? We want to hear a ghost story from Oprah! We promise we make the best smores ever! Pleeeeassee???
On his final show Friday, The Tonight Show host Conan O’Brien thanked NBC for the 20 years he spent on the network, reports E! News.
“The terms of my settlement say that I can’t host another show for seven months,” O’Brien said. “So next week, look forward to the Andy Richter Show with his sidekick, me!”
Jay Leno will be returning next week to host the show.
Oprah Winfrey is interviewing Leno in Los Angeles for her Thursday show and has invited O’Brien to participate. It has not been reported whether he will accept her offer.
“As I set off for exciting new career opportunities, I just want to make one things clear to everyone listening out there: I will do nudity,” he said in his final monologue.
News that The Oprah Winfrey Show will end in less than two years has prompted many stars to express their support and praise for the daytime talk show host, reports E! News.
“I am going to enjoy every episode between now and 2011,” said former Food Network star Rachael Ray, host of talk show Rachael Ray. “Oprah opened the door for me to move into daytime television and I can’t thank her enough. I look forward to seeing what she does next. There will only ever be one Oprah!”
“This is a very nostalgic moment for me,” said Dr. Phil McGraw, who got his television start as a regular on Winfrey’s show. “Oprah Winfrey is first and foremost one of my dearest friends and obviously the person who taught me everything I know about television. Her show was home for me for five of the most exciting years of my life. The Oprah Winfrey Show is the gold standard and I know that she will succeed at whatever she chooses to do next.”
The old adage is true: all good things must come to an end, including the beloved Oprah Winfrey show of 25 years.
The queen of daytime television announced that the show will not continue past 2011, and she will move on to pursue other projects in her life. According to people.com, a spokesperson announced the “the last day will be Sept 9, 2011 [...] She will speak about it on (Friday’s) live show.”
This mention of new projects brings to light Winfrey’s latest work on her new cable channel, called the Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN). Perhaps she will bring to life another version of her talk show on this channel?
Thanks to illegal digital downloading, album sales are on a continuous decline. And as sales keep sliding, the music industry keeps looking for ways to make big events out of record releases. There have been partnerships with big retail companies (such as Walmart’s exclusive with AC/DC’s Black Ice), large-scale live shows (such as Jay-Z’s event before the release of The Blueprint III), and exciting fan contests (such as Pearl Jam’s artwork scavenger hunt for Backspacer). But as rollingstone.com reports, one sure way to guarantee an album’s success is Oprah Winfrey.
For example, Canadian singer Michael Buble’s new album Crazy Love went to the top of the charts after he appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Show, which led Variety magazine to examine what they are calling the “Oprah Effect.”
“Oprah is the one thing everyone wants,” Diarmuid Quinn, president of Reprise Records, told Variety. “If you get that call back from her production people, my god, it’s the Holy Grail.”
Corrine Gehrls, a former flight attendant on Oprah Winfrey’s private jet, claims she was fired in July after two other flight attendants falsely told Winfrey she had “inappropriate intimate behaviour” aboard a flight, reports TMZ. The man alleged to be involved with Gehrls, the chief pilot, was also let go as a result of the incident.
Gehrls is now suing Winfrey’s company, Harpo Productions, as well as the two flight attendants who allegedly lied – one of whom is the daughter of Winfrey’s best friend, Gayle King – for damages in excess of $75,000.
Angelina Jolie managed to take the post previously held by Oprah Winfrey on Ford’s list of The World’s Most Powerful Celebrities.
Their reason: She’s a gossip column favourite and never fails to get Oscar nods. But most importantly, Jolie’s latest blockbuster “Wanted” raked in an impressive $340 million at the box office.
Oprah doesn’t have too much to worry about. The self-made billionaire came in second and shows no signs of slowing down. Winfrey continues to host “The Oprah Winfrey Show” and a monthly magazine. The talk-show host has also sealed herself a three-year $55 million contract with XM Satellite radio and has developed a partnership with Discovery Communications to create an Oprah Winfrey Network.
Oprah Winfrey and Angelina Jolie are the No. 1 women in entertainment, according to two lists released Friday by trade paper The Hollywood Reporter.
Winfrey topped the publication’s annual “Power 100″ list, which ranks the most influential women in Hollywood.
The media mogul was chosen “based on her dizzying array of Oprah-branded media and her immense cultural influence,” editor-in-chief Elizabeth Guider said in a statement Friday.
All of the other women in the top 10 were studio executives.
Meanwhile, Jolie — who came in No. 24 on the power list — topped The Hollywood Reporter’s annual ranking of the industry’s highest-paid actresses.
She earned $15 million for her role in the action flick “Wanted” and could receive $20 million to star in a possible sequel, said the trade paper.
Taking the No. 2 spot was Julia Roberts, followed by last year’s top earner, Reese Witherspoon.
Oprah Winfrey has been proclaimed the world’s biggest giver — again.
For the seoncd year running, the day-time host topped a list of the 30 most generous celebrities for giving $50.2 million US last year through the Oprah Winfrey Foundation and Oprah’s Angel Network, which fund education, health care and advocacy for women and children.
The list, now in its second year, was compiled by The Giving Back Fund, a charity that aims to encourage philanthropy.
Claiming the No. 2 spot was trumpeter Herb Alpert, who gave $13 million for education, including music lessons, through the Herb Alpert Foundation.
Three athletes also made the top 10, with cyclist Lance Armstrong, basketball star Michael Jordan and Canadian hockey player Eric Lindros giving $5 million each.
Here is the top 10 on The Giving Back Fund’s list of most generous celebrities (all figures in US dollars):
1. Oprah Winfrey, $50.2 million.
2. Herb Alpert, $13 million.
3. Barbra Streisand, $11 million.
4. Paul Newman, $10 million.
5. Mel Gibson, $9.9 million.
6. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, $8.4 million.
7. Lance Armstrong, $5 million.
8. Michael Jordan, $5 million.
9. Eric Lindros, $5 million.
10. Rush Limbaugh, $4.2 million.
If you haven’t gotten enough of Oprah already, you will soon. The ubiquitous television host is planning to enter the wonderful world of reality TV – Oprah’s Harpo Productions announced Friday it is currently working on two series for ABC, tentatively titled “Oprah Winfrey’s The Big Give” and “Your Money or Your Life.”
In “The Big Give,” ten people will be given money to help others in a creative way and the contestant who succeeds best will be able to live out their “wildest dream.”
In “Your Money or Your Life,” families faced with crises are forced to learn to adapt. It is currently in development.
Air dates for either show has not yet been announced.
Talk-show host Oprah Winfrey surprised her 310-member audience on Monday by giving each and every one of them a debit card loaded with $1000 US.
The move, sponsored by Bank of America, was part of a “gift of giving back” program, reports People. The cash has to be donated to charitable causes of the audience member’s choice, or given to a single person (just not a family member).
“I can honestly say that every gift I’ve ever given has brought at least as much happiness to me as it has to the person I’ve given it to,” Winfrey told the crowd. “That’s the feeling I want to pass on to you.”
As a secondary prize, audience members were presented with Sony DVD recorders to document the positive effects of their donations for an upcoming show.
It’s not the first time Oprah has presented her audience with lavish gifts. In her most famous stunt, Winfrey gave a brand new car to every crowd member during one episode.
Oprah is already the queen of TV and magazines, and now she wants to conquer our radios.
Oprah Winfrey’s new satellite radio channel debuted yesterday morning on XM Satellite Radio, reports CBC.ca. The new channel, titled “Oprah and Friends,” will extend her reach beyond her syndicated talk show and “O” magazine, the publication that features Oprah on the cover every month.
The channel will feature a news and gossip show hosted by Winfrey and friend, Gayle King, entitled “The Oprah and Gayle Show,” as well as some feature shows hosted by other frequent guests on Winfrey’s television show. Poet and writer Maya Angelou will contribute, as well as fitness expert Bob Greene, and King will have her own solo program as well.
Although the first guest to appear on the channel is Winfrey’s long-time partner, Stedman Graham, there is also a line-up of high-profile celebrities who will lend their voices to Winfrey. Actress Annette Bening, jazz trumpeter Wynton Marsalis, rock star Jon Bon Jovi and fellow multi-millionaire Donald Trump.
This channel may be an attempt to rival XM’s competitor, Sirius Satellite Radio, who has signed on shock jock Howard Stern and the crafty Martha Stewart to their own respective shows. XM’s other celebrity channels include Bob Dylan and Quincy Jones.
Winfrey signed a three-year $55 million U.S. deal with XM last February.
Author James Frey, whose sort-of-memoir “A Million Little Pieces” has made news for being largely fictional, was confronted by Oprah Winfrey yesterday on her TV talk show.
“It is difficult for me to talk to you because I really feel duped … but more importantly, I feel that you betrayed millions of readers,” Winfrey said Thursday.
Winfrey had chosen “A Million Little Pieces”, Frey’s account of what happened to him while overcoming drug addiction and alcoholism, for her book club, making the book a best seller.
But, The Smoking Gun did a bit of research and fact checking, something publishers failed to do, and found that parts of Frey?s memoir were embellished or completely false.
“I have been really embarrassed by this,” Frey told Oprah, adding the bad press would make him “a better person and learning from my mistakes and making sure I don?t repeat them.”
Winfrey also made it clear that she was not endorsing lying when she defended Frey on Larry King Live.
“I left the impression that the truth doesn?t matter, and for that I am deeply sorry,” she said. “That is not what I believe … and to those who challenged me, you were absolutely right.”
