For the first time in over 600 years, the head of the Catholic Church, otherwise known as the Pope, resigned from the holy post on Monday. Because this happens to be the Internet, everyone seems to have an opinion on who should replace Pope Benedict XVI as the religion’s high poobah.
Many have offered some more progressive suggestions for the perpetually conservative religion (Black! Hispanic! A woman!) but who would ever have thought that Lindsay Lohan’s name would have entered the fray, even if it was a complete forgery.
Just so we’re 100 per cent clear, the above tweet is a fake. It’s really not that hard to fake a tweet. Even so, it’s still a hilarious thought that Lindsay Lohan of all people would ever aspire so high.
While the Vatican does have their own system and pool of more highly qualified candidates to choose from, we can’t help but think of some celebrities that would make a better Pope. So here are the top 5 people that would make a better Pope than Lindsay Lohan.
1. Oprah Winfrey
She’s already a goddamn saint without actually being a saint.
We’re already loyal followers of Queen Bey. I’m sure she has more wisdom to share with us.
3. Ellen Degeneres
Because the world would be a happier place with Degeneres leading it.
4. Sir Ian McKellen
He’s Gandalf and Magneto! Turning water into wine should be a piece of cake for the knight. He’s also proudly gay. Bonus progressive points!
5. A Cat
Remember, we just need to beat Lindsay Lohan here. No need to look to far.
This morning Broadway.com and Huffington Post confirmed Tina Fey has plans to send Mean Girls to the Great White Way. Fey told E! News: “I’m trying to develop it, actually, with my husband, who does all the music for 30 Rock. And I think Paramount’s onboard.” She’s also thinking of Mariah Carey for Amy Poehler’s role.
Um, WHAT? Some might find this sad, but I find this oddly exciting. I’m already thinking of the great power houses and melodramatic ballads that need to be included. Naturally, I think Lea Michele needs to be involved. No one does powerhouse, dramatic ballads like her!
People are generally really excited:
The internet has been casting for this musical before Tina Fey confirmed the musical this morning. Lets take a look shall we? Read more…
Okay, well that’s a little dramatic of a headline, but it’s sort of true. An economist in New Zealand named Gareth Morgan is demanding the country’s entire domestic cat population get eradicated. Right now about half of New Zealanders own a cat and he says they cause tons of environment damage and harm his precious endangered birds. Those are legit concern but seriously?!!
He’s SO SERIOUS he even created a website called Cats to Go. He’s urging all cat owners to spray, neuter or EUTHANIZE their poor little kitties. I know something has to be done to save the bird population but there must be another solution — like, keeping your cat INDOORS MAYBE?
Also, I argue this
This Read more…
In my family, I always find conversations about the Royal Family strange because my mom talks about Harry and William like she knows them personally. The other night I was watching BBC with my mom and they were going on about Prince Harry returning from his 20-week deployment in Afghanistan and she was all “oh boy, he really enjoyed being ‘one of the guys’ and having no special treatment overseas.” She was saying it as though he was her long lost nephew and they just chatted on the phone the day before.
ANYWAY, I don’t particularly mind conversations about Prince Harry in the first place because I’ve had a minor crush on him since I was in third grade. It must be something about that blazing red hair, disregard for authority, and being the charming underdog brother. Now there’s footage of him tearing off in the middle of an interview to “GET THE CHOPPA.”
Combined with the dramatic music, Harry is pretty much an action hero as he blazes off to what’s presumably warzone. Someone decided the only thing better than getting the “choppa” would be getting some ice cream. They messed around with the video and made it seem like he was running for the ice cream truck (above).
Ah, I love the internet gremlins.
Find the real version below Read more…
There’s a debate going on in our ANDPOP office: Is it inspiring or depressing that this dude’s crush is going to sleep with him after he got one million Facebook likes? Norway’s Petter Kverneng, 20, made a deal with his 19-year-old crush that he’s known since high school that if he got one million people to like the photo above on Facebook then she’d sleep with him.
The two friends were hanging out with a group when the conversation shifted to those two young girls who got their parents to buy them a dog after getting one million Facebook likes. They started brainstorming ideas of things they’d do in similar circumstances and they eventually settled on sex.
What started as a joke resulted in more than a million likes in 18 hours. Kverneng told the media: “It began as a joke, but now we’ll take it seriously… We must of course keep what we promise.” Of COURSE he’d say that.
The whole thing reflects how quickly things can go viral on the Internet. While it’s pretty dexterous of him to make the deal, I think it’s kind of depressing that they’d leave their sex lives in the dangerous hands of Internet trolls.
Looks like Brit Brit is back on the market. Britney Spears and her fiancé Jason Trawick have broken up and called off their engagement after three years of being together.
“Britney Spears and Jason Trawick have mutually agreed to end their one-year engagement,” her rep Jeff Raymond tells PEOPLE. “As two mature adults, they came to the difficult decision to go their separate ways while continuing to remain friends.”
Trawick had been Spears’ manager from 2008 to early 2012 until he stepped down from the position to focus on their relationship since getting engaged a year ago.
Spears and Trawick have also confirmed their breakup in a statement saying, “Jason and I have decided to call off our engagement. I’ll always adore him and we will remain great friends.”
This news comes the same day that Spears announced that she would not be returning as a judge on The X Factor. But knowing Britney, she’ll definitely pull through at the end and overcome the challenges in her life.
Were you surprised by any of Britney’s announcements this week?
Poor Irish news anchor Aengus Mac Grianna can’t catch a break. He racked up so many fails over the last little while that someone made an entire compilation of his on air faux pas. Now, he has another fail to add to his roster. Mac Grianna was slapping on bronzer before going live when he realized he was on camera THE WHOLE TIME. It’s okay Mac Grianna, we’re all guilty of using a little bronzer in the winter.
Stop the presses, ladies and gents. There will soon be a Kimye Jr. running around the streets of Hollywood.
According to E! News, Kim Kardashian is expecting her first child with Kanye West. Spilling the news during a show in Atlantic City on Sunday night, the rapper reportedly said, “Stop the music and make some noise for my baby mama,” before pointing to Kardashian, who was in the crowd.
Moments later, the rest of the Kardashian clan started tweeting the good news.
Sister Kendall Jenner tweeted, “Whos excited about the KIMYE babbyyy?! weeee!”
While Mom Kris Jenner said, “Im a happy girl !!!!!!!!! Wowza!” and “Oh BABY BABY BABY!!”
Meanwhile, Khloe Kardashian tweeted, “Keeping secrets is hard with so many family members! Especially when you are so freaking excited!!!!! LOVE is everything!!!!”
While Kourtney Kardashian later added, “Been wanting to shout from the rooftops with joy and now I can! Another angel to welcome to our family. Overwhelmed with excitement!”
It’s been said that Kim is about 12 weeks pregnant, which is kind of awkward because she still hasn’t officially divorced Kris Humphries yet.
But with a Kimye baby on the way, one thing’s for sure. This couple sure knows how to kick off the new year with a bang.
Pointers for journalists: If you want to talk about the bad weather, you might not want to be so literal about it. This may the only time the man appears on television…and yet, he has slipped and fallen on ice for everyone to see.
While this makes for some good entertainment, I’m sure the poor man is at home rubbing and massaging what I imagine is a very sore backside.
This best of news bloopers compilation starts off with a bang when two newscasters have a very naughty conversation about a sausage competition (“like for eating?”). The mashup combines the very best worst moments from live newscasts over the whole year. It includes Sweet Brown and that infamous Hurricane Horseman. It will make you laugh, it will make you cry. Most of all it will make you cover your eyes and CRINGE.
Watch it here
The photo sharing service, now owned by Facebook, changed its user agreement to give broader rights to use its members’ photos in ads. Basically, they could take a photo of you running along a beach and use it to promote some hotel you’ve never been to, without any compensation to you. The chances of this happening to you are probably very slim and there are definite pros and cons to the new agreement; Instagram claims it will function better with the change.
The changes don’t take effect until Jan. 16, so you still have time to de-activate your account. Still, while many people use their Instagram for personal use, it’s practically an advertisement already for people who post photos of their new clothes, favourite drinks or a recent makeup haul.
As Instagram users, we think the new guidelines are shitty. But you have to admit some of the photos are basically ads already — at least the users themselves CHOOSE to post them.
Here are some Instagram photos that look like ads:
This girl has sooo many pairs of Keds!!
But you can never really have enough
I mean look how cute they are!! Keds, Keds Keds!!
And they go so well with an Abercrombie and Fitch wardrobe
But there’s always something to be said for Absolut Vodka too
This one is my favourite Read more…
Okay, it isn’t the real Mitt Romney, but a man wearing a Mitt Romney mask, robbed a bank in Virginia this past week. The man took money from all five tellers before fleeing. A A strange fact, this is the same bank where someone robbed it wearing a Hillary Clinton mask, two years ago.
Two elephants drank vodka to survive, after the trailer they were in caught fire in freezing cold, Siberia. Their handler, quickly bought two cases of vodka, and mixing it with water, had the elephants drink it. In the end it probably saved their lives. They only had a little frost bite on their ears and trunks. The elephants are on tour with the circus, and the show must go on.
Smashing pigs with a hammer, New York tradition
A New York tradition at Christmas, isn’t exactly the first thing you think about during the holidays. Saratoga Sweets, in Halfmoon, New York carries on a Christmas tradition, of pink peppermint pigs. The hard candy pigs are selling like hot chocolate on a cold winter day. The best part, these piggies are sold with a little hammer to crush them. They are considered good luck, to smash them apart after Christmas.
Can’t say I’ve ever wanted to see what a giant replica of the human colon looks like, better yet, want to sleep in one, but it exists. The lovely hotel, is located on a small island near Antwerp, Belgium. On the outside, its exactly what it looks like, a giant human colon replica. On the inside, it’s actually cozy, clean and livable. What was once just an art piece, it is now been turned into a hotel. Surprisingly, all the reviews have been positive.
Canon shoots cans of Pot into the USA
I’ve heard of elaborate plans to smuggle Marijuana across borders, but this one is the coolest. About 30 cans filled with pot, were shot out of some sort of canon from Mexico, into Arizona, USA. The value is estimated at $42,500.
If you have a dog, you’re aware of those “puppy eyes” they give you when they’re hungry. Even though we shouldn’t, we usually cave and give them a little piece of whatever we’re eating. Now, you can give them doggie Christmas cake! It’s all thanks to a man in Japan, Naohiko Nagatani, who created a dog-friendly cake. He’s the owner of an Italian restaurant in Japan and so far the cakes are selling well. They go for about $73 each, which may seem like a lot to spend on your dog, but the best part about these cakes, is humans can eat them too.
One Step for man, err, 68,345,943,536,743 steps back for women
In Bihar, India, they have banned women from using cellphones. I’m serious. The reason for the ban? Too many females are eloping and having extramarital affairs. And clearly, banning the use of cellphones is the only way to stop it. People are protesting this outrageous ban.
Millionaire takes his Christmas wish to a San Diego Billboard
Marc Paskin, a millionaire and reality TV personality, bought this billboard ad in San Diego. It speaks for itself. This is probably one of the most shallow things I’ve ever seen, but it’s kinda funny. If I had money I would make one too. All I want for Christmas is a Jamaican boyfriend, seriously.
You can smell like pizza Read more…
Did a prank go too far?
A nurse who unsuspectingly transferred a prank call from Australian hosts posing as Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Charles has been found dead in what is reportedly a suicide. The nurse has been identified as Jacintha Saldanha.
Saldanha was the first to answer the call on Tuesday as hosts Mel Greig and Michael Christian tried to get information on expectant mother Kate Middleton, who was admitted into the King Edward VII Hospital after suffering from acute morning sickness. Saldanha’s first responses along with those of a second nurse were recorded and broadcast on air.
According to a statement by hospital chairman Lord Glenarthur, he said: “This is a tragic event. Jacintha was a first-class nurse who cared diligently for hundreds of patients during her time with us. She will be greatly missed.”
Prince William and Kate have also issued a statement, expressing how deeply saddened they are to learn of the death.
“Their royal highnesses were looked after so wonderfully well at all times by everybody at King Edward VII Hospital, and their thoughts and prayers are with Jacintha Saldanha’s family, friends and colleagues at this very sad time.”
While the Australian Communications and Media Authority are still investigating the case, the radio hosts have since issued apologies and have decided not to return to their radio show until further notice.
“Just on our royal prank call… we were very surprised that our call was put through, we thought we’d be hung up on as soon as they heard our terrible accents,” Christian wrote on his Twitter account. “We’re very sorry if we’ve caused any issues and we’re glad to hear that Kate is doing well.”
Breast implants will give you perfectly perky large boobs, but they can also save your life. A Canadian woman was shot my her ex-boyfriend and thinks she’s alive today because she had implants. The bullet went straight through both her breasts, ruining her implants in the process. Convinced her implants saved her, she underwent surgery again for a new pair. Am I the only one who sees a flaw in this? If a bullet only went through your breasts, and you had implants, what would’ve happened if you didn’t have implants? I’m going to assume the bullet would’ve went right past you. Therefore, if you didn’t have fake boobs, you wouldn’t have had any injuries. You’re welcome.
Vampire on the loose
I guess some people in the world really believe those Twilight movies are real. They’re not real people!! In Serbia, some people literally believe vampires are among them. A home that a well-known vampire lives in recently collapsed, sending the town into a frenzy. They think he’s roaming the hills looking for a new home. People are so scared, they have armed their doors with crosses and garlic. I know what you’re thinking, that I’m lying. I wish I was. Watch the CNN report below.
Watch it here
Vegas mobster fail Read more…
If this doesn’t turn you away from going to the zoo, I don’t know what will. A zoo in Germany has a lot of people wanting the government to impose new bestiality laws, after sexually exploiting animals. The zoo has reportedly been renting out animals for sexual purposes with humans. Obviously, this has outraged every sane person in the world. I honestly thought bestiality was a joke, cause it is the nastiest thing I’ve ever heard of. I guess since he quit his day job, Elmo could find work here? Too soon?
If you were planning on visiting Sandy Island, you will be disappointed. Known as Sandy Island on google and Sable Island by others, the island simple doesn’t exist. A group of Seamen (I’ve always wanted to type that), set out to find the island, but when they got to the coordinates, it was just ocean. According to Google Maps, the island is located between Australia and New Caledonia in the South Pacific Ocean. I wonder if it is some sort of crazy portal into another dimension? Or just a glitch in modern technology…
Best School Ever?
The Perse School in Cambridge, England, might be the coolest school ever. They have a rare policy I’ve never heard of practiced at any other school. If you get in trouble for a minor offense at school, you can get out of it if you re able to tell a believable white lie. The students have only 10 seconds to talk themselves out of getting punishment. The headmaster of the school thinks it is a great way for students to develop quick thinking and it will help them in real world situations. That’s something interesting to add to your resume. Education, able to develop believable lie within 10 seconds.
Crazy Naked People
Can’t blame this one on the alcohol, at least, it wasn’t reported. This man decided it was a great idea for him to climb up onto an equestrian statue, naked, and just posed in multiple positions. For about three hours he ‘chilled’ up there in the cool Fall weather in England. He eventually got off the statue once police and emergency workers coaxed him down. Needless to say, he’s probably crazy. Why doesn’t this happen in Canada or the USA? Imagine if Charlie Sheen did this? That is all.
Most Expensive Christmas Tree is also the Ugliest
This Christmas tree is eight feet tall, and made of 88 pounds of pure gold. It is a revolving tree, decorated in Disney characters. If you have that person on your Christmas list that loves Disney, the tree is for sale. The price tag, a whopping $4.2 million dollars. It’s also in Tokyo, so you might want to factor in shipping costs. Then again, if you can afford this tree, you probably don’t care about the cost of shipping. Is it just me, or is this the ugliest tree you’ve ever seen? It actually hurts my eyes to look at it directly. I’d rather have fruit cake, and I hate fruit cake.
Drake has always been expressive on Twitter to his fans. And when his grandmother Evelyn passed away a few days ago, he took to the social networking site to reveal the sad news.
“Rest in peace to my grandmother Evelyn Sher. What a day to go…thankful to have had the times we did.”
Drake, who has always been close to his mom and grandmother, has mentioned his grandmother plenty of times in his songs. In fact, she was even featured in the song ”Look What You’ve Done“, which was a track off the rapper’s latest album Take Care.
In the song, she is heard saying, “All I can say Aubrey is, I remember the good times we had together and the times I used to look after you and I still have wonderful feelings about that. So God bless you, and I hope I’ll see you.”
RIP Evelyn. My deepest condolences go to Drake and his family.
Well, looks like Lady Gaga got more than just a couple of delicious leftovers.
When the singer got up in the middle of the night to eat some of the remaining food from her Thanksgiving dinner, she heard some noise coming from her garage. Upon looking at her security camera, she noticed that a group of her fans had got inside.
Luckily for the Little Monsters, Gaga was not angry. Instead she decided to share the remains of her holiday feast with them.
In a series of Twitter postings, she wrote: “#MONSTERFACT when gaga is asleep try to break into the garage, sing loud as possible, + ring the doorbell repeatedly #happeningnow#badkids
“thanksgiving story: woke up for leftovers in kitchen (naked) – stumbled on security camera revealing 35 monsters in my garage #why #iloveu
“i should be mad i guess except i tried to figure out how to slide stuffing under the door, but theres no cat-flap (sic)”
It’s no surprise that Gaga would share the love. Having previously sent burgers and fries to fans waiting outside of her hotel in Brazil, this lady is a class act when it comes to her legion of Little Monsters.
But when it comes to safety, the Lady Monster warned her fans.
“To any little monsters trying to get in my house at the moment IF YOU SEE A LARGE ITALIAN MAN yelling about sleep IT IS NOT JOE GERMANOTTA. ”
Hmm, then who could it possibly be?! Yikes!
Alert the media: Nintendo can be bad for your kids. Actually, don’t alert the media or else they might make a super cheesy newscast like this. This newsreel, circa 1991, shows how anxious parents were about letting their kids play with the new Nintendo video games. “I’m going to say no,” one mom says when asked if she’ll buy her child a Nintendo game. “I’m going to explain to him how people market things to make you spend more money.”
No kidding! Thank goodness I was born a bit too late in order for this parental face palm moment to pass. However, I am a bit cheesed that I missed out on such glorious news reports. Jam packed with bad graphics and old time Nintendo sounds, the news report actually turns out to be unintentionally bad ass. “The company promises better pictures, sound and adventure,” reporter Kent Shocknek says just in time for what has to be the corniest display of graphics I’ve ever seen.
Watch the video here:
Cellphone for a rat
I’m willing to do some pretty questionable things to get myself a new cellphone, but this is too much. In Johannesburg, South Africa they have a pretty serious rat problem. One charity in the area called Lifeline, has recently tried to help stop the spread of rats by offering cellphones to anyone who brings them at least 60 rats. Just stop and think of how many rats that really is. You have to, I guess, kill them? or maybe just trap that many rats. Then you throw them in your car and bring them to the charity? This sounds like my nightmare. Imagine driving with a giant box of rats riding shotgun…
Woman looses tooth brush in her throat…
This 19-year-old girl was brushing her teeth one day, like normal, when she accidentally swallowed her tooth brush? Seriously? Okay, she had no gag reflex so maybe it’s possible. She said she felt it slipping down her throat, but there was nothing much she could do about it. I’m sorry, umm, if I feel something slipping down my throat I would definitely catch it. How hard are you brushing those pearly whites? Do we really need to add another warning label?
Pregnant zombie arrested for DUI
Police were called to tend to a shooting victim at a busy intersection. Only thing is, when they got there they realized the woman wasn’t the victim of a shooting, but rather wearing a halloween costume. She was dressed up as a pregnant zombie. When police first arrived they admitted they would’ve thought the same thing. Instead of being shot, the woman was intoxicated. Imagine if she was slurring her words too? She would’ve literally sounded like a zombie, terrifying.
Bambi, is that you? Read more…