On an episode of TLC’s My Crazy Obsession, Eric Ducharme introduces the world to his obsession with mermaids. He doesn’t simply collect mermaid figurines, he becomes one. Ducharme has a large collection of tails that he uses to transform himself into a merman. Though he already is a certified scuba instructor, he typically free dives with his tail on and can go about 4 minutes underwater before having to surface for air!
This is one My Crazy Obsession that I don’t think is very crazy at all. Well, it’s not on the “I married the Eiffel Tower” level of crazy. I’m not going to lie, my 8-year-old self would be fangirling over Ducharme’s tail collection. I, too, was obsessed with mermaids (blame Disney) and even pretended I was one as I dolphin-kicked across the pool. Thanks to my vivid imagination, I learning how to do the butterfly stroke came pretty naturally. So four for you, Eric Ducharme! You live your merman life to the fullest!
While mermaids may not exist (LIES! THEY DO EXIST! ARIEL IS REAL!), we can still pretend to be mermaids!
But dolphin kicking your way across the pool is now considered child’s play if you don’t have your very own mermaid tail. Just in case you have an extra $250 (US) in your bank account, Etsy seller Monika Naumann is selling mermaid tails equipped with fins for optimal swimming abilities.
Things to think about here:
1. Where was this when I was a kid? It was a dream of mine to become a mermaid, but then reality kicked in and crushed it.
2. Are these Olympic approved? I think Michael Phelps would look dapper in one as he butterfly strokes his way to another gold medal.
3. Is it hard to take the tail off? A quick strip-down is important when you have to pee. (Please don’t tell me you pee in the pool. I don’t care if there’s chlorine, it’s doesn’t make it less disgusting.)
Watch the video below to see its under-the-sea possibilities:
Some people take things a little too seriously. After airing a creepy, fictional special about the existence of mermaids on Animal Planet, The National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration in the U.S. started getting a few calls asking whether or not mermaids are real.
The answer they came up with might surprise you: flying unicorns, Teletubbies and sharktapuses actually exist. Except not really because they’re all made up in FICTION dummy. The agency confirmed that the half-human, half-fish sea creatures are not genuine, living species in a statement: ”Mermaids – those half-human, half-fish sirens of the sea – are legendary sea creatures chronicled in maritime cultures since time immemorial… But are mermaids real? No evidence of aquatic humanoids has ever been found.”
They had to compile the response out of already existing information because, duh, they don’t have a department devoted to studying mythical sea creatures. We’re glad they settled it for us. I mean, Ariel is one thing but the mermaids explored in the television special Mermaids: The Body Found are damn creepy (see below)
Keep in mind this statement comes just after the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a statement assuring us that zombies are not real. Suspicious. Are these agencies all trying to hide something from us?
Watch the trailer here: