The Hills Recap: ‘And then YOU’LL be my Mom!’

The Season 4 Finale wraps up with a Lauren Conrad-Heidi Montag… hug. Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth attend a major party hosted by Bolthouse. Heidi Montag is also there along with Holly Montag and Stephanie Pratt. There are WAY too many blondes in this episode. Some may argue there are never enough blondes, but as a brunette, I disagree. Heidi gets the courage to speak alone with LC. To break the ice, she asks her, “Have you been working out?” The talk then turns serious with Heidi admitting, “the only thing really missing in my life is you.” LC’s words to live by: “It is what it is, it’s not always fair.” The two reminisce and Heidi exclaims that she doesn’t feel like she’s getting older. Well she isn’t- hello, plastic surgery! They do exchange a hug at the end and finally, the world is at peace.

However, Heidi’s life still has enough drama. Everyone is shocked over her marriage. At work, Brent Bolthouse asks her about her vacation. Her answer: “I was in Mexico and kinda decided to get married.” Brent doesn’t believe it, “Shut Up.” She isn’t at all insulted: “We were down there and we had a couple Margaritas and there was a chapel there…it was the craziest thing I’ve ever done.” Okay Britney. Still, no one is more shocked than Heidi’s mom, Darlene Montag, who flies into LA demanding an explanation. When asked to explain how the wedding happened, Heidi announces that a couple margaritas + a beautiful sunset= a wedding. Spencer Pratt sits there the whole time, looking like Chewbacca with all his facial hair. He actually seems sad when Mrs. Montag speaks but who knows what Spencer is thinking. To make the marriage legal, they must have a ceremony in the U.S. The Speidies are opting for a City Hall event whereas Mrs. Montag wants Heidi to have her dream wedding. The next day, Mrs. Montag comes by and has a chat with Spencer. She tells him the wedding is “too fast, it’s too much.” Spencer doesn’t see anything wrong with that, telling her that once the City Hall ceremony is completed, “you’ll be my mom.” No wonder she’s freaking out. Later on, Spencer and Heidi meet at City Hall with Stephanie Pratt as their witness. Spencer is oh-so-romantic, “Come on, let’s just do this.” They listen to the judge’s words, Heidi already says “I do” and only then does Spencer finally have a change of heart. Well he finally shows he has a heart. The Tinman Pratt asks Heidi if she is sure that this is the wedding she wants, not a big one and with her family mad at her. Heidi breaks down in tears and Spencer agrees to give her the wedding of her dreams. Newsflash, the dude does have a soul.

If there’s hope for Spencer, there must be hope for Justin Bobby. Audrina Patridge and Justin Bobby go on a romantic getaway to Palm Springs. Justin Bobby is wearing overalls and looks alarmingly like Luigi. Would that make Audrina Mario? The guy gets creepier by the second, telling Audrina he wants to stay there forever. Basically, he wants to lock her away. “You’re a rare one,” Justin Bobby tells her. “You’re very rare,” she says right back to him. I can’t tell if they’re complimenting or insulting one another. Their romantic vacation ends on a high note when Justin Bobby uses his teeth to take off a ring on one of his fingers in order to give it to Audrina. We can’t tell if he’s proposing or just thanking her for still speaking to him. But who knows, maybe Spencer is rubbing off on him! I can’t wait for the next season but for now we’ll just have to make do with The City!


The Hills Recap – Whit and The City

Whitney Port just became the most exciting character of The Hills- okay well almost. Kelly Cutrone recommends Whitney for a PR job with Diane Von Furstenberg. Who knew Kelly could be nice? This job would involve Whitney moving to New York City. Whitney is extra excited considering her bf Jay lives there. Lauren Conrad says it right, “Dream Boy, Dream Job.” LC says she’s happy for her but you can tell she’s not THAT happy for her. When she arrives in NY, Whitney is dressed up with mega high heels. It looks like she fits in since everyone there are tall and beautiful and wearing mega high heels. This time, Whitney did not trip. Alixe Boyer, the VP Global Image Director interviews Whitney. Whitney says it has always been her dream to work with a designer. She explains she is ready to change her life. Alixe looks happy to hear that. If only she knew what’s on Whitney’s mind…Mr. Jay. When she exits the interview, Jay is waiting for her in ripped jeans and a shirt tied around his waist. I never realized that Whitney and Audrina have similar taste in guys. They see each other for 3 seconds and he tells her, “Call me when you get back to LA.” He actually cares! A boy with a cute accent who actually calls, Whitney’s got it made.

It seems everyone is moving these days. Lauren Conrad visits Audrina Patridge at her ‘bachelorette pad.” She gets a tour of Audrina’s place and it looks like the two are officially at peace. However, LC is not at peace with her parents moving to a different house in Laguna Beach. Lo Bosworth comes with Lauren to help pack some of her old stuff. Lauren’s parents, Jim and Kathy Conrad, actually look normal. They’re moving to a smaller house since all their children have left the nest or will fly away soon like LC’s younger brother Brandon. He’s the only Conrad child without his own MTV show (LC’s little sis Breanna was featured in Laguna Beach Season 3). LC reminisces with Lo about all the fun times in the house, such as her’s and Stephen Colletti’s first kiss. Lo tries to cheer her up, “you have to make memories”

Stephanie Pratt is trying to erase her memories and make new ones. She explains to Spencer Pratt that she and Cameron keep breaking up, for reasons such as Cameron being mad about always driving to her place but her never driving to his. Oh yeah… huge problems. She explains, “we’re gonna try things out again, start over.” Spencer doesn’t believe in second chances. Hello?! Didn’t he get about 5000 chances with Heidi Montag? Spencer’s general recommendation is “go be a nun, join a nun’s thing.” Shouldn’t she know better than asking brother dearest? Spencer tells her she can do better than Cameron. I beg to differ. Later that week, Stephanie brings Cameron to Falcon Restaurant and Lounge where she is meeting up with the Speidies. Spencer is his usual self at dinner, making jabs at Cameron whenever he has the chance. Of course, Spencer manipulates Stephanie’s mind like he does with everyone else in his life and she decides to end it with Cameron. Cameron comes over to her place and she cries to him that “This is the happiest relationship I’ve ever been in…but I deserve better than this.” I’m all for girl power but I’m not sure if Steph can find better, she’s like a train wreck waiting to happen.


The Hills Recap: Nana Knows Best

Audrina Drama Queen Patridge finally understands she’s ruined a friendship over a dumb rumor. She wants to make peace with Lauren Conrad, but Justin Bobby is another story. “He’s very good at manipulating,” Audrina admits to Casey. It took her this long to notice; has she been living under a rock? Brody Jenner comes over to use LC’s pool and talk about the situation: “Why you bangin Justin Bobby?” Ugh -I’d rather not see ‘JB’ and ‘bangin’ in the same sentence. Brody tells Lauren to leave Audrina since “people like that …are constant drama.” I guess Brody doesn’t realize he’s caused enough drama himself. He gives his opinion on humanity: when people change “some change for the good and some for the bad.” Lauren realizes Brody isn’t the best person to get advice from and talks with Lo Bosworth and later with Whitney Port. Both agree Audrina is in the wrong but Lauren should at least hear what she has to say. LC does just that. She and Audrina meet up and Audrina FINALLY apologizes. Lauren explains herself, “Some crazy person told you a crazy story.” Audrina admits she feels like an idiot for not trusting LC and Justin. Lauren can’t believe that Audrina would put her in the same category as Justin. He’s giving her so many reasons not to trust him but LC hasn’t. Lauren explains that it’s about trusting the right people. A dude named Dino doesn’t count. Audrina hates being the bad guy and tries to win some sympathy points. She admits she hasn’t been happy in awhile: “I don’t know who I am anymore.” Tears gushing, she announces: “I’ve learned to become my own best friend.” Maybe now that Audrina has Lauren back, she doesn’t have to be a loner.

Spencer Pratt is trying to make Stephanie Pratt a loner by stealing their Nana away from her. Heidi Montag encourages him to invite Stephanie to come visit Nana with them. While this is a nice gesture, Spencer cannot let a situation be without being a douchbag. This time, he does everything he can to make Stephanie feel guilty for not seeing their Nana often. He comes off as the favourite and makes Stephanie look like a bitch. He tells Nana that Stephanie befriended his enemy. Nana advises them that family and siblings are most important, “you can trust him and you can rely on him.” Oh Nana, if you only knew. The next day, Stephanie and Nana go for a walk in Santa Monica Beach. Stephanie admits that she feels excluded but doesn’t want to fight with Spencer for Nana’s attention. She hints that Spencer is not as great as he seems but Nana admits she doesn’t want to know everything.
Nana: “Life is sometimes a bucket of worms and you don’t know what to do about them.”
Stephanie: “That’s how I feel about Spencer.”
Does this mean she doesn’t know what to do about Spencer or he’s like a bucket of worms? Probably both, the dude is slimy.


The Hills Recap: Never Trust a Guy Named Dino

Audrina Patridge hears from her friend Dino that Lauren Conrad and Justin Bobby hooked up. Audrina must be hopped up on drugs because there is no way anyone would believe that story. LC and Justin separately plead not guilty. They each undergo the same facial expressions for Audrina ranging from ‘are you kidding me’ to ‘you should be put in an asylum.’ Audrina just can’t believe them since this Dino guy was so sincere about it. Who in their right mind would trust a guy named Dino? Instead of laughing it off like we would, Audrina turns the rumor into World War 3. Her attack involves calling Brody Jenner and Frankie Delgado and telling them about it too. Stepahnie Pratt also has been receiving texts from Audrina and is happy she’s not the bad one for once.

LC is in shock as she tells Lo Bosworth, “it’s insulting on so many levels… she’s calling me a slut.” Audrina stops by to find out the truth. Lauren tells her she didn’t do it and Audrina angrily walks off. A few days later they try for another peace treaty at Winston’s. What does Audrina do? She asks LC AGAIN if they hooked up. How many times does she need to ask the same question! I know the girl looks dumb but I was starting to give her the benefit of the doubt. Lauren decides to go for completely honesty: “I would rather kill myself than hook up with him. He is disgusting. Justin disgusts me.” Lauren throws more fire into the flame by telling Audrina she’s worse than Heidi. Of course everything ends in tears. Even Casey Patridge thinks Audrina is in the wrong.

Instead of learning from her mistake with Lauren, Audrina launches another attack on Justin. JB isn’t calling her back- probably because she’s being insane- and she takes that as a sign that he did hook up with Lauren. She leaves him a very long voicemail. Finally, they meet up at Cobras and Matadors, which seems to go with Justin’s new found Zorro look (slicked back hair this time). Audrina once again asks him if he hooked up with Lauren. Justin turns the tables on her, “No it didn’t happen… Some of the things you say I would never say to you…I find it so immature.” Turns out Audrina’s long voicemails involved many F bombs and ‘I Hate You’s.” For once, I’m on Justin’s side (until he calls her dude- twice).

Drama continues over in the Speidi side of life. Holly Montag or “little miss traitor” as Spencer Pratt calls her, stops by to talk to Heidi. I hope she stopped by at night since she’s wearing something really short with tall black boots, or maybe that’s how people dress in LA during the day. Spencer won’t tell her where Heidi Montag is so Holly decides to stalk her at work. Heidi has been demoted from an office to a cubicle so the two sisters step into a hallway to hash it out. Holly tries to help Heidi see the light. Of course the girl is blinded by Spencer’s douchbaggery so that doesn’t help.


The Hills Recap: Sister Act

Audrina Patridge visits Justin Bobby in his neck of the woods: Venice Beach. He calls the area “zenful” and adds another word to the Justin Dick-tionary. The two start planning a Mexico trip to “make up for Cabo.” I guess this time they’ll actually share a room. Lauren Conrad and Audrina go for drinks where she explains Justin is over Hollywood and is ready to grow up. Audrina hasn’t grown up since she’s still obsessing over him: “He’ll always be my #1.” Casey Patridge comes over and is worried Audrina is too convenient with Justin. Audrina admits she won’t care if Justin doesn’t call her for a week and disappears. Convenient? Stupid? Same difference. Audrina: “What can I say, I love him.”

Audrina and Justin go out for dinner where they discuss their ‘mature’ relationship. Justin: “maturity is one of the key things in a relationship.” Yup, and it includes burping and making out with girls in front of your gf. Although he did ditch his token hat for a Zorro-inspired one and gives Audrina a shirt as a present so he is changing… sort of: “I can be good when I want to be…no bras with that, thank you!”

While Audrina is chilling in Venice Beach, she is being replaced in the LC-Lo Bosworth casa. Holly Montag decides to crash at Lauren Conrad’s place after Heidi Montag kicks her out. LC is fine with the un-evil Montag. “She’s like Heidi but without the Spencer,” as Whitney Port describes her. LC, Lo and Holly spend time drinking wine while bashing Spencer. Now that’s my kind of night. LC thinks Heidi is pushing Holly away because she’s in a bad place. Any place with Spencer is a bad place. Holly agrees, “He just drives away everyone that cares about her!” When Lauren and Stephanie Pratt catch up at school, she informs her that Holly is staying at her place. Stephanie is worried this will make Heidi sad. LC could care less, “To be honest, I don’t care what Stephanie thinks.”

Heidi Montag is already sad about being jobless and bored.
Spencer tries to cheer her up: “Let’s go to the movies.”
Heidi: “Let’s not.”
Heidi starts blaming Spencer Pratt for her getting fired. Of course when the negative comments come, Spencer bails: “I’m gonna go enjoy life!” Spencer tells Heidi to stop complaining so much. He has a point, stop bitching and dump Spencer!

Heidi goes to Bolthouse to try and suck up to Sam Naziri to hire her back. She wins him over and he promises to give her one more chance as long as Spencer comes no where near her next project- a hotel. Naziri thinks it will be a great idea to take Heidi out of the club scene. Makes sense now that she’s an alcoholic. Spencer tells Heidi he’s happy she’s going back to work since she won’t be moping around the house anymore. True, only one bum allowed per residence. Stephanie stops by to tell them about Holly’s living situation. When they get mad, she brings up a valid point, “who’s going to say no to a homeless person?” Even Stephanie let Spencer crash with her. Spencer admits he’s happy Holly is living there since Lauren gets “the mooch of the century” as a house guest. At least Holly doesn’t come with a can of spray paint and a fish tank.
Spencer: “your sister’s the problem.”
Heidi: “Maybe you’re the problem.”
You’re both the problem, now shut up.


The Hills Recap: One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila Fired

Lauren Conrad asks Audrina Patridge advice on what to wear to a rock concert. She desperately needs help since her current idea is to just cut up a shirt. But Audrina isn’t going to be around for these kinds of things much longer. She announces she’s moving out that week. Lauren just can’t hold a roomie for long. Audrina is considering moving in with Justin and of course no one thinks that’s a good idea, including Justin. When she asks him if he wants to move in, his reply is “you know what let it just happen and see what happens.” What does that even mean?! Audrina will probably change her mind anyway when she realizes first-hand that the guy never showers. She invites her very tattooed sister over Casey Patridge to take a look at the house and fills her in on the decorating scheme: “I want to put candles everywhere.” That’s smart- buy a house and make it a fire hazard. Audrina explains to Casey she wants a romantic feel in order to rekindle her flame with Justin. Casey is worried Audrina only bought the house to improve her relationship with Justin, not just for herself. Even Lo seems concerned and is sad their living situation didn’t work out. Lauren Conrad tells it like it is: “I don’t think this was ever her home.” Lo blames it on Justin Bobby making things awkward since he still hates her for naming him, “A man so great he needed two names.” On Audrina’s last day, Lauren and her promise they’ll always be there for one another and can get together to cry at any time. How sweet? Living with Justin is sure to bring tears.

One person completely overjoyed about Audrina moving out is Spencer Pratt. Heidi Montag invites Audrina, Stephanie and Spencer to a Bolthouse opening of club XIV. Heidi calls herself “Mrs.Coordinator” and yet spends the entire night partying with her friends. Audrina brings Casey and Justin with her and the gang toast to her moving out. Spencer tells Audrina she and Justin should move in together since it worked out so great for Heidi and him. Um yeah, cause they’re just great role models. Instead of doing her job like her co-worker Kimberly, Heidi spends the night drinking and drinking some more. Halfway through the night she yells out “can we get another tequila? I’m so wasted!” Smart move especially since her boss’s partner Sam Nazari is around. He decides to see what’s going on, “are we still working here tonight?” Heidi’s reply: “are you?” Great, use sarcasm to piss off the big guy. So it comes as no surprise the next day when Brent Bolthouse decides to investigate. He first questions Kimberly if she drank the night before and she promises “out of respect for you I wouldn’t do that.” When he asks about Heidi she answers she has no idea. Kimberly doesn’t stick up for her at all! But considering what Heidi did to Elodie, Bolthouse and screwed over seem to go hand in hand. Heidi admits to Bolthouse she did have a drink since she thought her job was over. I guess she doesn’t realize planning an event means working the entire night. Bolthouse reads her the riot act and fires her. Most employees would at least try to stick up for themselves in hopes of keeping the job, but Heidi spends the entire time just nodding her head.


The Hills Recap: Holly Montag= Matchmaker?

Holly Montag is trying to break up one couple while reuniting another. She has enough of Spencer “nice” Pratt and wants him out of Heidi Montag’s life… for good. She hopes this will patch up Heidi’s friendship with Lauren Conrad. Early in the episode, Holly, LC, and Lo meet for drinks at S Bar. Lo spends the entire time telling Holly that she reminds her so much of Heidi. Is that supposed to be a compliment? Lo’s probably worried the Montag sisters will reunite with LC and she’ll be left in the dust.

She might be onto something. Heidi sends Lauren an apologetic letter taking responsibility for their fight. Holly comes over to see LC and again tells her how sad Heidi is about everything. We get the point Holly, Heidi is sad. Now get over it. Holly also wants to know what Lauren thinks of the letter. LC’s opinion: it’s nice but… why can’t Heidi just admit that it’s all Spencer’s fault? All of North America knows he’s an ass and Heidi’s the one who lives with him; I’m sure she’s noticed. LC and Holly agree that Spencer ruins everything and things would be different if he had never met any of them. Um yeah, The Hills would be way more boring. Holly passes all the information she collects from LC over to Heidi. When Spencer overhears them, he gets mad that they’re discussing “she who must not be named”. Holly gets Heidi in trouble when she tells Spencer about the letter. But Spencer puts on his priceless want-to-punch-him-in-the-face-smirk and admits that he doesn’t care that he ruined Heidi’s and LC’s friendship since it makes his day a little bit brighter.

Audrina Patridge is trying to brighten up her day as well. She goes on a date with a guy named Colin. During dinner they find out they have so much in common… like music. Whoa, that’s so rare! They both like music, they must be soul mates. It seems like Colin cinches the deal when he passes Audrina’s “What kind of drunk are you?” test. Colin is a happy drunk whereas Justin, as Audrina explains, is a rude one. They decide to go on date number 2. Unfortunately, Audrina has to end their relationship before it even begins by constantly bringing up Justin. She admits that he’s the “only thing, like, holding me back.” No wonder there’s no date #3, how much emotional baggage can a guy take? Audrina comes clean to J-Bobby about her date. His take on the Colin situation: “You’ve got a winner, dude…Nice is good. Nice gets you far. He went so far that he’s not here.” Justin Bobby’s other memorable lines include his romantic comments to Audrina, such as “What’s up dude?” and my personal favourite, “Could I tattoo your butt?” I can’t wait to see what more lines JB comes up with next.


The Hills Recap: LC’s Sloppy Seconds: Going once, Going Twice… SOLD!

Lauren Conrad heads off to Italy this episode and leaves the rest of her group to fend for themselves. Unlike most of her trips, she does not pack her entire life. In fact, she leaves out heels completely since according to her, no one in Italy wears heels. Does she learn anything in Fashion School? The episode skips her entire trip; most likely to avoid shots of everyone but Lauren wearing heels.

While she’s gone, Lo Bosworth and Audrina Patridge finally make peace. However, neither one can discuss anything substantial with the other- except gossip. Luckily, even with Lauren away, there is enough drama to keep these two talking. Doug asks Stephanie to dinner and she comes to Audrina to ask her opinion. When Audrina’s advises her to wait to talk to LC, Stephanie responds: “How would she find out?” Well Stephanie, she’ll probably learn from her best friend… the one who you just informed. Stephanie’s intelligence continues to amaze me, this almost beats the time she thought a guinea pig was a hamster. By the end of the episode, not only does Lauren Conrad find out, but so do Lo, Chiara, Brody’s Mom, Brody, Heidi, Spencer and of course LC. Yes, even Brody’s mom makes an appearance when she spots Stephanie and Doug out for dinner. She point blank asks if they’re on a date and Doug says no. However, a few minutes before, he asks Stephanie what she’s doing post-date. On the Hills, that’s always code for “let’s get it on!”

With no men around to get it on with, Lo and Audrina are forced to hang out with each other and head out to Goa, a night club. There, they run into Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Lo sits off to the side while Audrina and Heidi reminisce about their friendship. Then Audrina informs Heidi about Stephanie’s actions and even Heidi seems shocked. I guess she forgot the time she encouraged Jenn Bunny to become Brody’s bunny. Of course, Spencer is overjoyed with the news. When Stephanie tells him of her upcoming Doug date, he asks her, along with his signature smirk, “Are you nervous that LC is going to clip you from her posse?” Stephanie looks ready to cry. Spencer seems happier and sort of friendly this episode; he even calls Justin Bobby, friend! The Speidies quasi-double date with Audrina and J-Bob at an event Bolthouse is hosting for the X-Games. Since there’s nothing to say, they again discuss the Stephanie-Doug drama.

However, it is Lauren Conrad’s reaction that everyone is waiting for. LC leaves Italy early claiming that she had seen all it has to offer. According to her, Italy is like one big construction site with all these guys whistling at women. And she’s complaining? Audrina informs Lauren of all the drama but is unsure if Stephanie had gone on the date. Of course, thanks to Brody’s mom, Brody fills her in during their dinner date. Brody doesn’t blame Doug at all claiming “guy’s will be guys.” Instead, he informs LC that he was right about Stephanie all along. Poor Lauren, if you can’t trust your enemy’s sister, who can you trust?


The Hills Recap: The Third Musketeer Gets Ditched

As the head of the Anti-Lauren Conrad campaign, Spencer Pratt does everything to cut ties with her including give up his best friend and his sister. Now, he is hoping to add member to his army, Holly Montag. As he explains to her, the #1 rule of the Speidi Household is NO Fraternizing with Lauren. Who is he, her father? Creeeepy. Like most people, Holly ignores Spencer’s crazy talk and calls up Lauren Conrad to meet up. Smart girl knows that she’d rather have LC on her side rather than Spencer. LC agrees to meet up with her and the two catch up at the bistro, Amandine Patisserie. Turns out LC and Holly are old friends and along with Heidi Montag, used to be so tight that they called themselves the ‘three musketeers.’ Dumas would turn over in his grave.

However, Heidi Montag is upset when Holly admits to her rendezvous with Lauren. When Heidi questions her loyalty, Holly quickly declares herself on Heidi’s side, but explains that when they used to all hang out, both Heidi and Lauren were like her little sisters. Unlike Spencer, Heidi does not black list her sister for hanging with the enemy. Instead, we finally see some humanity in Heidi as she admits that she does miss Lauren’s friendship since they have a “little time of fighting, but years of friendship.” Holly’s encouraging words: “nothing’s beyond repair” seem to work on Heidi as she ponders, “maybe one day by a miracle we’ll be friends again.” As Holly tries to push Heidi towards a friendship with LC, Whitney Port is discussing the same possibility with Lauren. Lauren explains that Holly is the most positive person she knows and is happy she is in Heidi’s life. Hmm, is Holly trying to rival Whitney’s good girl status? LC does miss Heidi as she tells Whitney, “You always miss a best friend.”

Seems like Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad are back on the best friendship road this episode as Lauren provides support for Audrina during an event that she plans. Kristen Loretta, the publicist for Epic Records, asks Audrina to set up a showcase for The White Tie Affair at The Roosevelt Hotel. It is up to Audrina as “the Epic girl” to ensure that the event runs smoothly and that the after party is packed, especially since the President of Epic Records, Charlie Walk, will be there. She invites Lauren who arrives with Lo Bosworth and Stephanie Pratt. See, even Lo is there to support Audrina. Okay, maybe she’s just there for the free show… and to annoy her. She knows that Justin is a sensitive topic but still asks Audrina if Justin is coming. LC quickly intervenes: “Way to be a buzz kill.” Justin had promised Audrina he would come, telling her that if she needs him there, he’ll be there. Even his hair is slicked back this episode and since he actually looks human, I trusted him. Of course he has to disappoint. Audrina admits that she knows not to invest her feelings or trust… or to expect anything from him. Hmmm… that makes for a great relationship. Good luck taming JBobby, Audrina.


The Hills Recap: Big Girls Do Cry

“What could go wrong? Everything,” as LC declares at the start of episode 4. The Hills posse ditches LA for Vegas to attend Frankie Delgado’s birthday. Somehow, even Stephanie Pratt and Doug get an invite. I guess the bro-lationship between the dudes is still in tact even though Lauren Conrad dumped him. Everyone seems okay with Doug being there, but that is probably due to his private jet flying them to Vegas. As Stephanie Pratt voices the question on everyone’s mind: “you broke up with a guy who has a jet?” However, Stephanie Pratt does not have much to offer to this trip aside from drama. During Frankie’s birthday dinner at the Venetian, Stephanie asks Brody Jenner why he told Lauren Conrad not to be friends with her. His reply includes her stint with drugs and how she’s an untrustworthy person. This sends her crying to her room with Lauren Conrad comforting her. I guess it’s chicks before dicks for LC.

However, this does not hold true when it comes to Audrina Patridge. She and Justin Bobby are also invited to Frankie’s Vegas. They do come but spend all of 5 seconds with the group at a Vegas club. Turns out Audrina had ignored Lauren previously that week. The two avoid each other all night, which leaves Audrina seeking advice from Justin. Not a good idea. Who can pay attention to what he’s saying when his mellow voice just makes you want to sleep? LC, however, smartly gets advice from the birthday boy: “sometimes, you just have to do what’s right for you.” You tell ‘em Frankie! LC is worried about her friend count going down, but as long as she keeps adding ex bfs to her friendship list, she should be fine. Nonetheless, Audrina and Lauren finally talk. I don’t understand why it took them so long when they live on the same property. Luckily, Audrina Patridge’s conversation with Lauren Conrad does not end like Lo Bosworth’s did. After much accusing and defending, both girls start crying. Mascara is trickling everywhere but they finally end their feud and all becomes well in Hills Land.

Nevertheless, a huge shock rattles all Hills fans when Frankie tells the girls that Doug and Brody have been arrested. This shock, like most on the Hills, lasts about 2minutes between the end of episode 4 and the beginning of episode 5 when we find out that Doug had gotten punched by some weirdo and he and Brody were at the casino police station filing a report about him. Oh how reality TV loves to twist things… Only Lo sees the bright side and announces that they should all come back to Las Vegas during the court date.

On the other side of the tracks, Spencer Pratt is feuding about Holly Montag moving in with him and Heidi. His main issues as he explains to Heidi include a) Holly erasing two of his TiVo programs and b) she lies around the house in pajamas watching TV. Come on, at least Holly didn’t plant a fish tank in the middle of his living room. Spencer seems to have forgotten those weeks he spent on Stephanie’s couch. Instead, he devises a scheme that is sure to get Holly out. He tells her that both he and Heidi want her out, but Heidi is just too nice to say anything. Wasn’t ‘nice’ supposed to be Spencer’s middle name? However, like all of Spencer’s schemes, everything comes back to bite him. Heidi is fuming when she finds out what Spencer said to Holly. Seems like Holly will get his bed and Spencer will be back on the couch where he belongs.


Twitter @andpop Become a facebook Fan RSS Headlines andPOP Daily