What a feeling of mixed emotions. It’s a great feeling that MTV has announced the return of “The Hills” starting in April. The bad feeling is MTV has said this will be the last season of the series. Our lives suddenly have no purpose.

So let’s make the most of this last season. What can we expect? Tons of drama! According to MTV, in the final 12 episodes, kicking off on April 27, fans will see Audrina Patridge dating singer Ryan Cabrera, and Kristin Cavallari contending with rumors of drug abuse. We will also find out if Kristin and Justin Bobby will last. And will Heidi and Spencer ever have a baby named Speidi?

“I think we’ve told the story of struggle and of finding yourself in L.A.,” creator Adam DiVello said. “A lot of these kids have found themselves and have certainly embarked on different careers and different paths.”

We are sure it will be a roller coaster ride and we can’t wait to see what happens.

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The Season 4 Finale wraps up with a Lauren Conrad-Heidi Montag… hug. Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth attend a major party hosted by Bolthouse. Heidi Montag is also there along with Holly Montag and Stephanie Pratt. There are WAY too many blondes in this episode. Some may argue there are never enough blondes, but as a brunette, I disagree. Heidi gets the courage to speak alone with LC. To break the ice, she asks her, “Have you been working out?” The talk then turns serious with Heidi admitting, “the only thing really missing in my life is you.” LC’s words to live by: “It is what it is, it’s not always fair.” The two reminisce and Heidi exclaims that she doesn’t feel like she’s getting older. Well she isn’t- hello, plastic surgery! They do exchange a hug at the end and finally, the world is at peace.

However, Heidi’s life still has enough drama. Everyone is shocked over her marriage. At work, Brent Bolthouse asks her about her vacation. Her answer: “I was in Mexico and kinda decided to get married.” Brent doesn’t believe it, “Shut Up.” She isn’t at all insulted: “We were down there and we had a couple Margaritas and there was a chapel there…it was the craziest thing I’ve ever done.” Okay Britney. Still, no one is more shocked than Heidi’s mom, Darlene Montag, who flies into LA demanding an explanation. When asked to explain how the wedding happened, Heidi announces that a couple margaritas + a beautiful sunset= a wedding. Spencer Pratt sits there the whole time, looking like Chewbacca with all his facial hair. He actually seems sad when Mrs. Montag speaks but who knows what Spencer is thinking. To make the marriage legal, they must have a ceremony in the U.S. The Speidies are opting for a City Hall event whereas Mrs. Montag wants Heidi to have her dream wedding. The next day, Mrs. Montag comes by and has a chat with Spencer. She tells him the wedding is “too fast, it’s too much.” Spencer doesn’t see anything wrong with that, telling her that once the City Hall ceremony is completed, “you’ll be my mom.” No wonder she’s freaking out. Later on, Spencer and Heidi meet at City Hall with Stephanie Pratt as their witness. Spencer is oh-so-romantic, “Come on, let’s just do this.” They listen to the judge’s words, Heidi already says “I do” and only then does Spencer finally have a change of heart. Well he finally shows he has a heart. The Tinman Pratt asks Heidi if she is sure that this is the wedding she wants, not a big one and with her family mad at her. Heidi breaks down in tears and Spencer agrees to give her the wedding of her dreams. Newsflash, the dude does have a soul.

If there’s hope for Spencer, there must be hope for Justin Bobby. Audrina Patridge and Justin Bobby go on a romantic getaway to Palm Springs. Justin Bobby is wearing overalls and looks alarmingly like Luigi. Would that make Audrina Mario? The guy gets creepier by the second, telling Audrina he wants to stay there forever. Basically, he wants to lock her away. “You’re a rare one,” Justin Bobby tells her. “You’re very rare,” she says right back to him. I can’t tell if they’re complimenting or insulting one another. Their romantic vacation ends on a high note when Justin Bobby uses his teeth to take off a ring on one of his fingers in order to give it to Audrina. We can’t tell if he’s proposing or just thanking her for still speaking to him. But who knows, maybe Spencer is rubbing off on him! I can’t wait for the next season but for now we’ll just have to make do with The City!

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Audrina Drama Queen Patridge finally understands she’s ruined a friendship over a dumb rumor. She wants to make peace with Lauren Conrad, but Justin Bobby is another story. “He’s very good at manipulating,” Audrina admits to Casey. It took her this long to notice; has she been living under a rock? Brody Jenner comes over to use LC’s pool and talk about the situation: “Why you bangin Justin Bobby?” Ugh -I’d rather not see ‘JB’ and ‘bangin’ in the same sentence. Brody tells Lauren to leave Audrina since “people like that …are constant drama.” I guess Brody doesn’t realize he’s caused enough drama himself. He gives his opinion on humanity: when people change “some change for the good and some for the bad.” Lauren realizes Brody isn’t the best person to get advice from and talks with Lo Bosworth and later with Whitney Port. Both agree Audrina is in the wrong but Lauren should at least hear what she has to say. LC does just that. She and Audrina meet up and Audrina FINALLY apologizes. Lauren explains herself, “Some crazy person told you a crazy story.” Audrina admits she feels like an idiot for not trusting LC and Justin. Lauren can’t believe that Audrina would put her in the same category as Justin. He’s giving her so many reasons not to trust him but LC hasn’t. Lauren explains that it’s about trusting the right people. A dude named Dino doesn’t count. Audrina hates being the bad guy and tries to win some sympathy points. She admits she hasn’t been happy in awhile: “I don’t know who I am anymore.” Tears gushing, she announces: “I’ve learned to become my own best friend.” Maybe now that Audrina has Lauren back, she doesn’t have to be a loner.

Spencer Pratt is trying to make Stephanie Pratt a loner by stealing their Nana away from her. Heidi Montag encourages him to invite Stephanie to come visit Nana with them. While this is a nice gesture, Spencer cannot let a situation be without being a douchbag. This time, he does everything he can to make Stephanie feel guilty for not seeing their Nana often. He comes off as the favourite and makes Stephanie look like a bitch. He tells Nana that Stephanie befriended his enemy. Nana advises them that family and siblings are most important, “you can trust him and you can rely on him.” Oh Nana, if you only knew. The next day, Stephanie and Nana go for a walk in Santa Monica Beach. Stephanie admits that she feels excluded but doesn’t want to fight with Spencer for Nana’s attention. She hints that Spencer is not as great as he seems but Nana admits she doesn’t want to know everything.
Nana: “Life is sometimes a bucket of worms and you don’t know what to do about them.”
Stephanie: “That’s how I feel about Spencer.”
Does this mean she doesn’t know what to do about Spencer or he’s like a bucket of worms? Probably both, the dude is slimy.

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Audrina Patridge hears from her friend Dino that Lauren Conrad and Justin Bobby hooked up. Audrina must be hopped up on drugs because there is no way anyone would believe that story. LC and Justin separately plead not guilty. They each undergo the same facial expressions for Audrina ranging from ‘are you kidding me’ to ‘you should be put in an asylum.’ Audrina just can’t believe them since this Dino guy was so sincere about it. Who in their right mind would trust a guy named Dino? Instead of laughing it off like we would, Audrina turns the rumor into World War 3. Her attack involves calling Brody Jenner and Frankie Delgado and telling them about it too. Stepahnie Pratt also has been receiving texts from Audrina and is happy she’s not the bad one for once.

LC is in shock as she tells Lo Bosworth, “it’s insulting on so many levels… she’s calling me a slut.” Audrina stops by to find out the truth. Lauren tells her she didn’t do it and Audrina angrily walks off. A few days later they try for another peace treaty at Winston’s. What does Audrina do? She asks LC AGAIN if they hooked up. How many times does she need to ask the same question! I know the girl looks dumb but I was starting to give her the benefit of the doubt. Lauren decides to go for completely honesty: “I would rather kill myself than hook up with him. He is disgusting. Justin disgusts me.” Lauren throws more fire into the flame by telling Audrina she’s worse than Heidi. Of course everything ends in tears. Even Casey Patridge thinks Audrina is in the wrong.

Instead of learning from her mistake with Lauren, Audrina launches another attack on Justin. JB isn’t calling her back- probably because she’s being insane- and she takes that as a sign that he did hook up with Lauren. She leaves him a very long voicemail. Finally, they meet up at Cobras and Matadors, which seems to go with Justin’s new found Zorro look (slicked back hair this time). Audrina once again asks him if he hooked up with Lauren. Justin turns the tables on her, “No it didn’t happen… Some of the things you say I would never say to you…I find it so immature.” Turns out Audrina’s long voicemails involved many F bombs and ‘I Hate You’s.” For once, I’m on Justin’s side (until he calls her dude- twice).

Drama continues over in the Speidi side of life. Holly Montag or “little miss traitor” as Spencer Pratt calls her, stops by to talk to Heidi. I hope she stopped by at night since she’s wearing something really short with tall black boots, or maybe that’s how people dress in LA during the day. Spencer won’t tell her where Heidi Montag is so Holly decides to stalk her at work. Heidi has been demoted from an office to a cubicle so the two sisters step into a hallway to hash it out. Holly tries to help Heidi see the light. Of course the girl is blinded by Spencer’s douchbaggery so that doesn’t help.

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Audrina Patridge visits Justin Bobby in his neck of the woods: Venice Beach. He calls the area “zenful” and adds another word to the Justin Dick-tionary. The two start planning a Mexico trip to “make up for Cabo.” I guess this time they’ll actually share a room. Lauren Conrad and Audrina go for drinks where she explains Justin is over Hollywood and is ready to grow up. Audrina hasn’t grown up since she’s still obsessing over him: “He’ll always be my #1.” Casey Patridge comes over and is worried Audrina is too convenient with Justin. Audrina admits she won’t care if Justin doesn’t call her for a week and disappears. Convenient? Stupid? Same difference. Audrina: “What can I say, I love him.”

Audrina and Justin go out for dinner where they discuss their ‘mature’ relationship. Justin: “maturity is one of the key things in a relationship.” Yup, and it includes burping and making out with girls in front of your gf. Although he did ditch his token hat for a Zorro-inspired one and gives Audrina a shirt as a present so he is changing… sort of: “I can be good when I want to be…no bras with that, thank you!”

While Audrina is chilling in Venice Beach, she is being replaced in the LC-Lo Bosworth casa. Holly Montag decides to crash at Lauren Conrad’s place after Heidi Montag kicks her out. LC is fine with the un-evil Montag. “She’s like Heidi but without the Spencer,” as Whitney Port describes her. LC, Lo and Holly spend time drinking wine while bashing Spencer. Now that’s my kind of night. LC thinks Heidi is pushing Holly away because she’s in a bad place. Any place with Spencer is a bad place. Holly agrees, “He just drives away everyone that cares about her!” When Lauren and Stephanie Pratt catch up at school, she informs her that Holly is staying at her place. Stephanie is worried this will make Heidi sad. LC could care less, “To be honest, I don’t care what Stephanie thinks.”

Heidi Montag is already sad about being jobless and bored.
Spencer tries to cheer her up: “Let’s go to the movies.”
Heidi: “Let’s not.”
Heidi starts blaming Spencer Pratt for her getting fired. Of course when the negative comments come, Spencer bails: “I’m gonna go enjoy life!” Spencer tells Heidi to stop complaining so much. He has a point, stop bitching and dump Spencer!

Heidi goes to Bolthouse to try and suck up to Sam Naziri to hire her back. She wins him over and he promises to give her one more chance as long as Spencer comes no where near her next project- a hotel. Naziri thinks it will be a great idea to take Heidi out of the club scene. Makes sense now that she’s an alcoholic. Spencer tells Heidi he’s happy she’s going back to work since she won’t be moping around the house anymore. True, only one bum allowed per residence. Stephanie stops by to tell them about Holly’s living situation. When they get mad, she brings up a valid point, “who’s going to say no to a homeless person?” Even Stephanie let Spencer crash with her. Spencer admits he’s happy Holly is living there since Lauren gets “the mooch of the century” as a house guest. At least Holly doesn’t come with a can of spray paint and a fish tank.
Spencer: “your sister’s the problem.”
Heidi: “Maybe you’re the problem.”
You’re both the problem, now shut up.

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Lauren Conrad asks Audrina Patridge advice on what to wear to a rock concert. She desperately needs help since her current idea is to just cut up a shirt. But Audrina isn’t going to be around for these kinds of things much longer. She announces she’s moving out that week. Lauren just can’t hold a roomie for long. Audrina is considering moving in with Justin and of course no one thinks that’s a good idea, including Justin. When she asks him if he wants to move in, his reply is “you know what let it just happen and see what happens.” What does that even mean?! Audrina will probably change her mind anyway when she realizes first-hand that the guy never showers. She invites her very tattooed sister over Casey Patridge to take a look at the house and fills her in on the decorating scheme: “I want to put candles everywhere.” That’s smart- buy a house and make it a fire hazard. Audrina explains to Casey she wants a romantic feel in order to rekindle her flame with Justin. Casey is worried Audrina only bought the house to improve her relationship with Justin, not just for herself. Even Lo seems concerned and is sad their living situation didn’t work out. Lauren Conrad tells it like it is: “I don’t think this was ever her home.” Lo blames it on Justin Bobby making things awkward since he still hates her for naming him, “A man so great he needed two names.” On Audrina’s last day, Lauren and her promise they’ll always be there for one another and can get together to cry at any time. How sweet? Living with Justin is sure to bring tears.

One person completely overjoyed about Audrina moving out is Spencer Pratt. Heidi Montag invites Audrina, Stephanie and Spencer to a Bolthouse opening of club XIV. Heidi calls herself “Mrs.Coordinator” and yet spends the entire night partying with her friends. Audrina brings Casey and Justin with her and the gang toast to her moving out. Spencer tells Audrina she and Justin should move in together since it worked out so great for Heidi and him. Um yeah, cause they’re just great role models. Instead of doing her job like her co-worker Kimberly, Heidi spends the night drinking and drinking some more. Halfway through the night she yells out “can we get another tequila? I’m so wasted!” Smart move especially since her boss’s partner Sam Nazari is around. He decides to see what’s going on, “are we still working here tonight?” Heidi’s reply: “are you?” Great, use sarcasm to piss off the big guy. So it comes as no surprise the next day when Brent Bolthouse decides to investigate. He first questions Kimberly if she drank the night before and she promises “out of respect for you I wouldn’t do that.” When he asks about Heidi she answers she has no idea. Kimberly doesn’t stick up for her at all! But considering what Heidi did to Elodie, Bolthouse and screwed over seem to go hand in hand. Heidi admits to Bolthouse she did have a drink since she thought her job was over. I guess she doesn’t realize planning an event means working the entire night. Bolthouse reads her the riot act and fires her. Most employees would at least try to stick up for themselves in hopes of keeping the job, but Heidi spends the entire time just nodding her head.

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Sadly, this episode means byebye hot Aussie. When Corey and Audrina Patridge go out for dinner, he finds out Justin Bobby was part of Audrina’s trip to Cabo. When she promises she shared a room with Lauren Conrad and not JB, Corey doesn’t believe her: “of course you did.” While Audrina seemed over Justin in Cabo, Los Angeles reeld her back in. She and her co-worker Chiara head over to a studio to work with Brandy. When Justin texts her, Audrina is out the door. I thought Heidi Montag is the only one who ditches work to talk to a dysfunctional guy? Justin woes her in his usual manner: on his bike. His winning words: “to be in a relationship, you kinda got to be like together.” What an epiphany! And to cinch the deal, he announces these romantic lines: “90% of my time with you- it’s pretty right on…” Pretty right on!! Wow, I wish a guy would say that to me. Frankly, I’m worried about the other 10%. Chiara is shocked that Audrina is willing to take Justin Bobby back. As she points out, “I just don’t want you falling back into the same trap you’ve fallen into 15 times before.” Audrina doesn’t heed her advice and decides to break it off with Corey. Her timing is perfect. First, they go for a romantic dinner, then Corey gives her a koala bear, and finally he invites her to spend 2 months with him in Australia. Her answer, “I just feel like things aren’t working out.” She explains Justin “still has her heart.” Getting dumped is bad but imagine getting dumped for Justin Bobby on TV?

Surprisingly, Stephanie Pratt didn’t get dumped by Lauren Conrad after the Doug fiasco. The two go shopping as LC describes Cabo as more of a guy’s party: “they flew in a shipment of girls.” Stephanie tells Lauren that Cameron and she have had “the talk” and are official. Steph is excited that she has someone to protect her from Brody Jenner. Brody doesn’t seem threatened by the prospect of Cameron taking him aside: “I’ll be like listen homie why don’t I pull you aside and tell you a couple of things about your little girlfriend who you don’t know.” Lauren’s response: ” Lighten UP!” When they all meet up at Crown Bar, no drama actually occurs. This might be a first-time for the Hills. Cameron says it like it is: “it’s really not that exciting.” Well he could have made it exciting! At the beginning of the night, Cameron tells Stephanie, “If Brody comes I’ll take him aside and talk to him.” Did he? NO! And Stephanie notices, ” are you gonna talk to him?” He ignores the question. Brody picks up on the tension: “that’s weird I thought homie wanted to say something to me.” Cameron probably got scared because Brody was dressed like Justin Bobby’s- hat and all. The next day Stephanie goes for brunch with Spencer and Heidi. She points out that every time she hangs out with them she leaves wanting to break up with Cameron. That’s because Heidi and Spencer are evil brain-washers, Duh.

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Brody Jenner’s birthday + Cabo San Lucas = an episode not to be missed. Everyone is ready for a good time aside from Audrina Patridge who brings her emotional baggage (Justin Bobby) on the trip with her. Lesson of the day: don’t let your ex become tighter with your friends than you are. When they arrive, Lauren Conrad comments on the pretty “house” they’ll be living in. It’s easy to confuse house with mansion when you grew up in Laguna Beach. Ironically, Audrina and JB get put into the same room. She quickly wheels her stuff out and bunks with Lauren. Justin Bobby actually seems to miss Audrina when he realizes she’s left him for a hot Australian. Well when you treat a girl like shit, she usually leaves you. Doug Reinhardt’s expert advice: “I have one thing to say, all girls are shady.” This theory doesn’t stop Doug from inviting dozens of girls over to their mansion for Brody’s birthday present. I wonder if it was more of a present to himself considering there’s hardly anymore Hills co-stars to date. Brody happily realizes all the guys are single. Justin Bobby finds he’s included as well: “If this is the weekend to get a hall pass and find out your girl’s got a boy this is probably it, right?” Many drinks later, Justin Bobby and Audrina decide to have a rational discussion- mainly about her flower-designed hair clip that Corey gave her. JB steals it and Audrina looks like she’s about to cry. I sense a drunken fight coming on.
Audrina: “you came to Cabo on a hall pass.”
Justin “you left me for another boy!”

Someone’s ego’s bruised. But since Justin has a knack for playing with her head, Audrina ends up more confused than ever. LC tells her that she should stop talking to Justin. Audrina wonders, “Maybe it’s time to let him go.” Could this be the demise of Mister Justin Bobby?

Maybe he’ll be exiled like Stephanie Pratt. Stephanie is sad that she wasn’t invited on the trip. But she has someone to keep her distracted- her boyfriend Cameron. When Heidi Montag invites Stephanie and Cameron to double date with her and Spencer, Stephanie looks scared. Double date with brother dearest? I’d be scared too. Heidi’s take: “Even if your family doesn’t like him that couldn’t change everything.” Obviously Heidi is speaking from experience. At dinner, Spencer announces: “I’m so excited to see this lucky gentleman that has the honour of dating my fabulous sister.” I’m actually starting to like his sarcasm; does that make me a bad person?
Cameron: “your sister’s really funny, she makes me laugh a lot”
Spencer: “she makes me laugh a lot too.”

The dude’s got a point. Spencer proposes a toast: “to going to dinner with my sister and her first boyfriend.” Stephanie looks like she’s about to cry, especially after Spencer brings up Doug. Meanwhile, Cameron looks bored to death, like he was paid to be on the show- which he probably was. Would you freely date Stephanie after the episodes you’ve seen? The next day, Stephanie confronts Spencer on his behaviour. His response: “You should be appreciative a) I talk to you b) I went to a dinner with you and your new boyfriend and c) I paid for the dinner.” I guess he didn’t comply with d) I paid you back for all that time I mooched off your couch.

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Audrina Patridge continues looking for a Justin Bobby substitute. She goes on a date with Corey Bohan from Australia. When Lauren Conrad asks Audrina about Justin, Audrina answers: “I dunno, he’s a weird one. I don’t get him.” Took her long enough! After getting so used to JB, Audrina’s thankful for a guy who returns her calls and doesn’t stand her up. Yes, Audrina, it’s abnormal for a guy not to be a jerk. During a romantic dinner, Corey questions Audrina’s love life. Unlike Colin, he doesn’t run screaming. When she questions his, he answers “stress free, just cruisin.” This seems to sit perfectly with Audrina. She likes the non-committed types.

Corey comes by to Audrina’s pad and like a good house-wife-in-training, she gives him cereal and strawberries. LC comes downstairs and is happy to see Audrina with someone other than JB. Me too Lauren, me too… Audrina mentions they’re all going to Cabo for Brody’s birthday and invites Corey. His response: “sounds like a big deal.” Whoa, too much commitment for aussieboy? However, he’s not opposed to going to Malibu for the day with the rest of LC’s crew. Audrina takes Corey as her date while Lauren takes Whitney. LC explains to Whitney, “Justin’s there till someone better comes around.” At the pool party, Frankie Delgado receives a phone call from JB. Uh Oh. Turns out Brody Jenner has already invited Justin Bobby to Cabo with them. When Frankie informs Audrina of this, she tells him what she told JB, that it’s his choice to be with her or not. Obviously Justin Bobby chooses not.

Later on, in Runyon Canyon Park, LC and Audrina walk what is assumed to be Chloe, except she is way bigger than her last appearance. Audrina informs LC that Justin Bobby keeps calling her, most likely because he knows she’s dating. She wonders “Who to choose?” LC smartly points out that Justin Bobby isn’t going anywhere. True to her word, JB comes over to her place where they have a deep discussion which involves Justin convincing Audrina to go swimming alone: “You can go in and I can watch.” Creeeepy. Of course, Audrina goes in. To convince Justin Bobby to join her, she decides to swim topless. I guess Audrina thinks being easy will reel him in. Maybe for night but not in the future; when they discuss Cabo, Justin’s words are “it’s on!” What Justin, what is on? In his explanation, he’s allowed to do whatever he wants in Cabo. Audrina’s last words to him “I don’t trust you.” Duh.

In the land of Speidi, Spencer Pratt informs Stephanie that he doesn’t know who he dislikes more, Holly Montag or “stalker mom” as he refers to Heidi’s mother. He explains he was “bombed like Pearl Harbour.” Then he explains that the letter Heidi gave Lauren upsets him since he “didn’t get to read it or spell-check it.” Is he actually being funny?! Maybe Spencer does have more to offer aside from being the token Douch-Bag. However, he reverts to his usual smirk when he brings up Holly moving out for the 500th time. Heidi’s response: “You were at your sister’s for over 2 months.” Go Heidi! Of course Spencer avoids the question and instead gives her an ultimatum, “one of us has to move out.” Who is she going to choose, her asshole ex-fiance-boyfriend or her loving sister? Well of course Heidi being Heidi informs Holly that the living situation isn’t working out and she should move out already. Holly doesn’t understand why it has to be her or Spencer. Shouldn’t she know by now Spencer doesn’t share his assets?

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Holly Montag is trying to break up one couple while reuniting another. She has enough of Spencer “nice” Pratt and wants him out of Heidi Montag’s life… for good. She hopes this will patch up Heidi’s friendship with Lauren Conrad. Early in the episode, Holly, LC, and Lo meet for drinks at S Bar. Lo spends the entire time telling Holly that she reminds her so much of Heidi. Is that supposed to be a compliment? Lo’s probably worried the Montag sisters will reunite with LC and she’ll be left in the dust.

She might be onto something. Heidi sends Lauren an apologetic letter taking responsibility for their fight. Holly comes over to see LC and again tells her how sad Heidi is about everything. We get the point Holly, Heidi is sad. Now get over it. Holly also wants to know what Lauren thinks of the letter. LC’s opinion: it’s nice but… why can’t Heidi just admit that it’s all Spencer’s fault? All of North America knows he’s an ass and Heidi’s the one who lives with him; I’m sure she’s noticed. LC and Holly agree that Spencer ruins everything and things would be different if he had never met any of them. Um yeah, The Hills would be way more boring. Holly passes all the information she collects from LC over to Heidi. When Spencer overhears them, he gets mad that they’re discussing “she who must not be named”. Holly gets Heidi in trouble when she tells Spencer about the letter. But Spencer puts on his priceless want-to-punch-him-in-the-face-smirk and admits that he doesn’t care that he ruined Heidi’s and LC’s friendship since it makes his day a little bit brighter.

Audrina Patridge is trying to brighten up her day as well. She goes on a date with a guy named Colin. During dinner they find out they have so much in common… like music. Whoa, that’s so rare! They both like music, they must be soul mates. It seems like Colin cinches the deal when he passes Audrina’s “What kind of drunk are you?” test. Colin is a happy drunk whereas Justin, as Audrina explains, is a rude one. They decide to go on date number 2. Unfortunately, Audrina has to end their relationship before it even begins by constantly bringing up Justin. She admits that he’s the “only thing, like, holding me back.” No wonder there’s no date #3, how much emotional baggage can a guy take? Audrina comes clean to J-Bobby about her date. His take on the Colin situation: “You’ve got a winner, dude…Nice is good. Nice gets you far. He went so far that he’s not here.” Justin Bobby’s other memorable lines include his romantic comments to Audrina, such as “What’s up dude?” and my personal favourite, “Could I tattoo your butt?” I can’t wait to see what more lines JB comes up with next.

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Lauren Conrad heads off to Italy this episode and leaves the rest of her group to fend for themselves. Unlike most of her trips, she does not pack her entire life. In fact, she leaves out heels completely since according to her, no one in Italy wears heels. Does she learn anything in Fashion School? The episode skips her entire trip; most likely to avoid shots of everyone but Lauren wearing heels.

While she’s gone, Lo Bosworth and Audrina Patridge finally make peace. However, neither one can discuss anything substantial with the other- except gossip. Luckily, even with Lauren away, there is enough drama to keep these two talking. Doug asks Stephanie to dinner and she comes to Audrina to ask her opinion. When Audrina’s advises her to wait to talk to LC, Stephanie responds: “How would she find out?” Well Stephanie, she’ll probably learn from her best friend… the one who you just informed. Stephanie’s intelligence continues to amaze me, this almost beats the time she thought a guinea pig was a hamster. By the end of the episode, not only does Lauren Conrad find out, but so do Lo, Chiara, Brody’s Mom, Brody, Heidi, Spencer and of course LC. Yes, even Brody’s mom makes an appearance when she spots Stephanie and Doug out for dinner. She point blank asks if they’re on a date and Doug says no. However, a few minutes before, he asks Stephanie what she’s doing post-date. On the Hills, that’s always code for “let’s get it on!”

With no men around to get it on with, Lo and Audrina are forced to hang out with each other and head out to Goa, a night club. There, they run into Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Lo sits off to the side while Audrina and Heidi reminisce about their friendship. Then Audrina informs Heidi about Stephanie’s actions and even Heidi seems shocked. I guess she forgot the time she encouraged Jenn Bunny to become Brody’s bunny. Of course, Spencer is overjoyed with the news. When Stephanie tells him of her upcoming Doug date, he asks her, along with his signature smirk, “Are you nervous that LC is going to clip you from her posse?” Stephanie looks ready to cry. Spencer seems happier and sort of friendly this episode; he even calls Justin Bobby, friend! The Speidies quasi-double date with Audrina and J-Bob at an event Bolthouse is hosting for the X-Games. Since there’s nothing to say, they again discuss the Stephanie-Doug drama.

However, it is Lauren Conrad’s reaction that everyone is waiting for. LC leaves Italy early claiming that she had seen all it has to offer. According to her, Italy is like one big construction site with all these guys whistling at women. And she’s complaining? Audrina informs Lauren of all the drama but is unsure if Stephanie had gone on the date. Of course, thanks to Brody’s mom, Brody fills her in during their dinner date. Brody doesn’t blame Doug at all claiming “guy’s will be guys.” Instead, he informs LC that he was right about Stephanie all along. Poor Lauren, if you can’t trust your enemy’s sister, who can you trust?

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As the head of the Anti-Lauren Conrad campaign, Spencer Pratt does everything to cut ties with her including give up his best friend and his sister. Now, he is hoping to add member to his army, Holly Montag. As he explains to her, the #1 rule of the Speidi Household is NO Fraternizing with Lauren. Who is he, her father? Creeeepy. Like most people, Holly ignores Spencer’s crazy talk and calls up Lauren Conrad to meet up. Smart girl knows that she’d rather have LC on her side rather than Spencer. LC agrees to meet up with her and the two catch up at the bistro, Amandine Patisserie. Turns out LC and Holly are old friends and along with Heidi Montag, used to be so tight that they called themselves the ‘three musketeers.’ Dumas would turn over in his grave.

However, Heidi Montag is upset when Holly admits to her rendezvous with Lauren. When Heidi questions her loyalty, Holly quickly declares herself on Heidi’s side, but explains that when they used to all hang out, both Heidi and Lauren were like her little sisters. Unlike Spencer, Heidi does not black list her sister for hanging with the enemy. Instead, we finally see some humanity in Heidi as she admits that she does miss Lauren’s friendship since they have a “little time of fighting, but years of friendship.” Holly’s encouraging words: “nothing’s beyond repair” seem to work on Heidi as she ponders, “maybe one day by a miracle we’ll be friends again.” As Holly tries to push Heidi towards a friendship with LC, Whitney Port is discussing the same possibility with Lauren. Lauren explains that Holly is the most positive person she knows and is happy she is in Heidi’s life. Hmm, is Holly trying to rival Whitney’s good girl status? LC does miss Heidi as she tells Whitney, “You always miss a best friend.”

Seems like Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad are back on the best friendship road this episode as Lauren provides support for Audrina during an event that she plans. Kristen Loretta, the publicist for Epic Records, asks Audrina to set up a showcase for The White Tie Affair at The Roosevelt Hotel. It is up to Audrina as “the Epic girl” to ensure that the event runs smoothly and that the after party is packed, especially since the President of Epic Records, Charlie Walk, will be there. She invites Lauren who arrives with Lo Bosworth and Stephanie Pratt. See, even Lo is there to support Audrina. Okay, maybe she’s just there for the free show… and to annoy her. She knows that Justin is a sensitive topic but still asks Audrina if Justin is coming. LC quickly intervenes: “Way to be a buzz kill.” Justin had promised Audrina he would come, telling her that if she needs him there, he’ll be there. Even his hair is slicked back this episode and since he actually looks human, I trusted him. Of course he has to disappoint. Audrina admits that she knows not to invest her feelings or trust… or to expect anything from him. Hmmm… that makes for a great relationship. Good luck taming JBobby, Audrina.

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“What could go wrong? Everything,” as LC declares at the start of episode 4. The Hills posse ditches LA for Vegas to attend Frankie Delgado’s birthday. Somehow, even Stephanie Pratt and Doug get an invite. I guess the bro-lationship between the dudes is still in tact even though Lauren Conrad dumped him. Everyone seems okay with Doug being there, but that is probably due to his private jet flying them to Vegas. As Stephanie Pratt voices the question on everyone’s mind: “you broke up with a guy who has a jet?” However, Stephanie Pratt does not have much to offer to this trip aside from drama. During Frankie’s birthday dinner at the Venetian, Stephanie asks Brody Jenner why he told Lauren Conrad not to be friends with her. His reply includes her stint with drugs and how she’s an untrustworthy person. This sends her crying to her room with Lauren Conrad comforting her. I guess it’s chicks before dicks for LC.

However, this does not hold true when it comes to Audrina Patridge. She and Justin Bobby are also invited to Frankie’s Vegas. They do come but spend all of 5 seconds with the group at a Vegas club. Turns out Audrina had ignored Lauren previously that week. The two avoid each other all night, which leaves Audrina seeking advice from Justin. Not a good idea. Who can pay attention to what he’s saying when his mellow voice just makes you want to sleep? LC, however, smartly gets advice from the birthday boy: “sometimes, you just have to do what’s right for you.” You tell ‘em Frankie! LC is worried about her friend count going down, but as long as she keeps adding ex bfs to her friendship list, she should be fine. Nonetheless, Audrina and Lauren finally talk. I don’t understand why it took them so long when they live on the same property. Luckily, Audrina Patridge’s conversation with Lauren Conrad does not end like Lo Bosworth’s did. After much accusing and defending, both girls start crying. Mascara is trickling everywhere but they finally end their feud and all becomes well in Hills Land.

Nevertheless, a huge shock rattles all Hills fans when Frankie tells the girls that Doug and Brody have been arrested. This shock, like most on the Hills, lasts about 2minutes between the end of episode 4 and the beginning of episode 5 when we find out that Doug had gotten punched by some weirdo and he and Brody were at the casino police station filing a report about him. Oh how reality TV loves to twist things… Only Lo sees the bright side and announces that they should all come back to Las Vegas during the court date.

On the other side of the tracks, Spencer Pratt is feuding about Holly Montag moving in with him and Heidi. His main issues as he explains to Heidi include a) Holly erasing two of his TiVo programs and b) she lies around the house in pajamas watching TV. Come on, at least Holly didn’t plant a fish tank in the middle of his living room. Spencer seems to have forgotten those weeks he spent on Stephanie’s couch. Instead, he devises a scheme that is sure to get Holly out. He tells her that both he and Heidi want her out, but Heidi is just too nice to say anything. Wasn’t ‘nice’ supposed to be Spencer’s middle name? However, like all of Spencer’s schemes, everything comes back to bite him. Heidi is fuming when she finds out what Spencer said to Holly. Seems like Holly will get his bed and Spencer will be back on the couch where he belongs.

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We can finally take a break from our average lives and plunge into the glamorous lifestyle of Lauren Conrad and her crew once more. However, this crew might soon be hitting splitsville. LC is still stuck between her roomies, Audrina Patridge and Lo Bosworth. She wants them all to be bffs although Audrina and Lo are as different as Hilary Duff and Amy Winehouse, (though the only rehab Audrina needs is a Justin Bobby one). LC’s master plan is to organize (with Lo’s assistance) Audrina’s birthday party at their house. Of course everything backfires. Lo is angry at Audrina for being unappreciative of her and LC ‘slaving’ in the kitchen. When Lo Bosworth gets cake on her dress, it’s the last straw. She decides that she’d rather play with Chloe the puppy than Audrina Patridge and her tattooed and mohawked friends. The next day, Lo unsuccessfully tries to patch things up with Audrina. But Audrina explains to Lo, “I just feel like I don’t click with you… I just don’t care, we’ll never be friends.” Audrina’s response comes as no surprise considering her description of Lo to her co-worker Chiara Kramer: “Lo’s just super bitchy, that’s just how she is.”

Who does LC choose? The lifelong bitchy friend or the new buddy rocker chick? Luckily, LC has a new, I mean old, flame to keep her spirits up. She explains to Whitney that she had run into an old friend/bf/hook up guy? named Doug who had asked her out on a date. “It’s about time,” Whitney tells her. Yes it is, LC, considering you have more Hills seasons than boyfriends. LC’s excitement indicates that she agrees. I’m not as impressed. Brody or Colletti he is not. However, LC had accompanied Doug to his prom and she sure seemed nostalgic and creepy when she reminisces about stalking him at his home. Doug isn’t fazed and asks Lauren on a 2nd date before their drinks arrive. LC orders a fuzzy dragon while Doug opts for a beer. LC embarks on the philosophical topic of what a drink tells about a person. I’m not even going to try to explain what a fuzzy dragon means. However, LC informs Doug that by ordering beer, it shows he’s a guy’s guy.

Spencer Pratt is no guy’s guy, only Heidi Montag’s guy. The dude doesn’t seem to have any friends and even his own sister doesn’t care for him. This episode introduces a new sibling: Holly Montag. Heidi’s younger sister, who looks nothing like her, comes to visit the Speidi’s much to Spencer’s annoyance. Heidi begs him to be nice and with his signature douchebag smirk, he responds “Nice’ is my middle name.” If I was Holly, I’d sleep with my eyes open. He wouldn’t eat the breakfast she made him and chooses to go back to sleep. You’d think he would give up the hobo lifestyle now that he actually has… a home. However, this allows Heidi to take Holly for a super LA makeover which hopefully involved no silicone. Sorry Heidi, hair extensions do not make you LA- or maybe they do. Holly needs more time to look the part and announces that she wants to move to LA and crash at Heidi’s place. Spencer is oh so thrilled.

If “things have to get worse before they get better,” as Lauren Conrad explains, be prepared for an awesome season!

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It’s the Season Finale! Tension continues heating up between Lauren Conrad, Lo Bosworth and Audrina Patridge, and Justin Bobby is encouraging it. He and Audrina go house-hunting at a loft-like pad as he advises her to move out. She’s not the only one feeling the tension. Whitney Port questions Lauren Conrad at work about her roommate situation and LC’s response is: “I just don’t see her that much.” Umm don’t you live together? Lauren Conrad really sends a message when she explains her relationship with Audrina: “The thing we have in common is that we live together.” Shouldn’t best friends have more in common than a roof? Oh wait, they have separate ones.

In order to try to make peace, Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth organize a roommate dinner and invite Audrina Patridge to partake. A new Lo-ism emerges as she starts eating: “This is so not going to be good for my behind!” Lo expresses concern that she hardly knows Audrina and isn’t really close with her. Shouldn’t you not gossip about someone when they live with you? At least have the decency to do it far away! Audrina maybe telepathic as she skips dinner and walks by without any words to her roomies. Lauren Conrad finally gets the courage to have a heart to heart with Audrina. Audrina comes to the root of the matter and explains that she feels that LC has been ignoring her. Audrina blames Lo for pushing them away. LC can’t take the criticism and gets defensive. I agree with Audrina, even if LC doesn’t. May I remind her of the puppy mommy comments? The two still don’t seem to see eye to eye as LC leaves in tears. Break ups and moves out seem to be on the horizon. Lo has won this roomie war.

Stephanie Pratt hasn’t won the roomie war as Spencer is still sleeping on her couch after she told him to move out. His reason “Heidi made me lose my mind.” Newsflash buddy, you lost it awhile ago. Spencer questions good ol’ sis about where Heidi is. Stephanie tries to keep it a secret for all of two seconds and admits that Heidi is in LA and might be planning on staying there. Spencer’s bright idea: go to Vegas. Didn’t he learn from Colorado? Why can’t the guy just wait a week? Spencer and Stephanie head off to Vegas so Spencer can be a douchbag in a different city. Heidi Montag is with Sam Nazarian and Brent Bolthouse looking into the casino market. Heidi as project manager? Something is bound to screw up. And who better than Mr. Screw-up himself, Spencer Pratt, to do it. Spencer gets Stephanie to call Heidi and find out where she is. This girl needs to choose a side and stop being so schizo! Spencer walks in on Heidi and her bosses having drinks. He steals her away in order to confess his undying love without any romance or emotion; at least the words fit: “We need to be together… come back to LA with me.” This seems to work as she chooses to fly back to LA with him as opposed to a private jet with her bosses. However, she doesn’t even let them know about it. Maybe Elodie will get her job now? Seems like coming back to LA with Spencer and maybe starting an Aquarium /Arcade/ Graffiti Company is appealing.

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More money, more problems? Not for The Hills’ girls! It’s mo money, mo mansion. Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge upgrade from the Hillside Villas and move in with Lo Bosworth. But when two blondes pair up with a brunette the latter gets shafted – to the guest house. LC and Lo inform Audrina that she will be staying in a separate area of the house. Is that code for “we can live together as long as we never see you”? I hope they let her use the pool. Nonetheless, the three housemates decide to throw a house-warming party and unlike Speidi’s, theirs is actually fun! Audrina Patridge and Lauren Conrad invite their friends while Lo Bosworth seems to have none. House-sharing should be left to two-somes.

Justin Bobby is invited much to the dismay of LC and Lo. But everyone else welcomes him with cheers when they view his new haircut. Now that we can see Justin’s face we know who to give change to on the LA streets. No matter how short his hair is, he still looks homeless and in need of a shower. Audrina doesn’t care; she’s happy to have an ally against the blondes. Justin and her hide out in the guest house where she complains to him about her housemates’ annoying comments, which mainly revolve around him.

Another guest to make a splash is Brody Jenner who shows up at the party with his girlfriend, Cora Skinner. He introduces her to LC who mocks politeness. Lo, on the other hand, says it like it is: “Brody’s gf is very pretty with very large breasts!” LC does not seem too thrilled until her old Laguna Beach flame, Stephen Colletti, appears at the party. The two start to rekindle their ‘relafriendship’ but leave it in uncertain territory. LC perks up when Stephen informs her that they should go out for dinner. A la high school, LC has no idea if this is a date. Lo takes on the parental role, informing LC that one day Stephen and she will get married and watching as he meets her at the door. The two head to Il Cielo where LC is excited for the possibility of taking their friendship further. However, Stephen drops the “gf” word twice and its not girlfriend but “good friend.” These two won’t be taking it to the next level as emphasized during their awkward goodbye hug. Poor LC.

Nevertheless, Spencer Pratt is worse off than LC. The two see each other at a coffee shop that has become Spencer’s new home. As Stephanie calls him the “Coffee-House-rat,” they will probably need to hire an exterminator soon- or hire Heidi. Stephanie comes clean about wanting to go to LC’s house-warming party and Spencer tells her off as usual, asking her where her “family loyalty” is. Stephanie doesn’t cry this time but asks Spencer where his loyalty was when he befriended her ex-boyfriend. She does not care for Spencer’s opinions but she does for Heidi’s. Heidi is shocked that Stephanie would even consider going to LC’s so Steph opts to stay in and skip the party. Now that’s commitment.

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Tonight’s Hills episode titled “A new roommate” spurs new suspense into the living situation of Lauren Conrad. It seems living with her might be bad luck. First Heidi Montag is ex-communicated, now it seems Audrina Patridge is next on the list with Lo Bosworth stealing her place. LC and Lo meet for lunch at the Spanish Kitchen, and discuss moving in together before Audrina arrives. Audrina may have some great intuition when she asks “are you sure you guys want me to move in with you?” Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth exchange long looks before reassuring her. LC, LO, L.A.: all with two letters, all a tad fake – kind of like Heidi’s breasts. Audrina doesn’t seem to be buying it, but since her face always looks blank, it’s hard to tell if she notices anything odd.

All the girls head out for another girls’ night out: clubbing at Goa. Drama arises when Lauren Conrad finds Heidi Montag at her table cozying up to Audrina. Does LC really think she can be friends with Stephanie Pratt and yet never run into Heidi? It must be all that LA sun getting to her head and the smog clouding it. But girls’ nights out are incomplete until crashed by a male. Last week it was Spencer Pratt and this week it’s Justin Bobby! Yes girls, it’s the return of Mr.Justin-Johnny-Depp-wannabe-burp-in-your-face-Bobby! Justin Bobby needed to come back, Audrina feels lonely surrounded by all the blondes.

At Goa, Heidi decides to befriend Justin Bobby. She realizes that befriending someone anti-LC will give her a better chance in her fight for Audrina. She explains to Justin how happy she is to have Audrina back in her life. She loudly explains that she and Audrina were friends long before Audrina and LC. Lauren Conrad is sitting only two people over and decides to leave the club accompanied by her only sidekick, Lo. It seems trying to handle both Justin and Heidi might be too much. I hope Heidi and Justin Bobby start dating, that could be a whole spin-off reality show!

Justin and Audrina reconciliation is in the works as the two meet for a ‘reunion dinner’ and NOT a date as Audrina explains to LC. She can call it what she wants, but when two people’s clothes match perfectly, there must be chemistry. More sexual sparks can be felt as Audrina admires Justin’s scent, “you smell good.” His reply: “I haven’t showered in weeks.” Sadly, we believe him. The guy manages to always look dirty. And what’s with his eye-raising? Is he trying to hypnotize Audrina into being his girlfriend again? Sadly it seems to work when Justin asks Audrina what she is doing later. She answers she doesn’t know. But we know exactly who she is doing later. Justin makes it clear as he continues to raise his eyes and retorts “uh oh.” Would you really want to go home with a guy whose response is “uh oh?”

It seems both Audrina and Heidi like them bad boys. Heidi shows up as Stephanie’s apartment and tries to be as fake to Spencer as she was to Audrina. He’s not buying it and plays it cool (which in Spencer’s case means evil). I guess this is all part of his “Win Heidi Back” plan. Maybe he should take some pointers from Justin. Has he tried burping at her yet?

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The entertainment world’s biggest conspiracy right now? Nail polish-gate.

On a recent episode of the MTV reality show, “The Hills,” star Lauren Conrad went on an awkward date with a male model. Her fingernails were painted red. Riveting.

Then, according to the cuts, Lauren ditched her date, rushed home and called boy toy Brody Jenner over to “watch a movie.”

But… her fingernails were no longer painted! Dun dun dun.

It may seem ridiculous, but it is just one example of the mounting evidence that “The Hills” is scripted.

But Lauren insists the rumours are false in this new statement:

“There have been some rumors in the press about The Hills being fake. Many of you have been asking me if the rumors are true. There are false rumors every week about me and I can’t address every rumor out there, but I feel like this was important for me to respond to. The show is not fake and this is really my life.”

Other rumours include that Lauren and Heidi are secretly friends again, and that Audrina and her boyfriend Justin fight on-camera but are very much together when the cameras are off.

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