For a while I was pretty obsessed with How I Met Your Mother but over the last couple seasons I’ve grown tired of all the fake-outs and drawn-out story lines. If the series was real and Ted was boring his children with the story of how he met their mom, they probably would left the couch ages ago for a bathroom break, bed or to have kids themselves (I’m pretty sure he’s been telling the story for YEARS).

If resident playboy Barney was telling the story it would have been over within minutes of the first episode. Here’s his synopsis of what you missed over the series, in 52 seconds, narrated by Barney. Ted, you can learn a lesson from Uncle Barney.

Watch it here: