At last there will be a halt on GTL— gym, tan, laundry (unless it’s for the baby). Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi and Jionni LaValle welcomed the newest little member to the shore, their first born baby boy Lorenzo Dominic LaValle, early Sunday morning in Livingston, New Jersey.
Hopefully now that she’s a mom, she’ll be able to reinvent herself and leave behind her partying rep. Snooki has also sent out a bunch of tweets about lack of sleep, finally being able to eat egg whites and welcoming news:
MTV shared in on their excitement: “We couldn’t be happier for Nicole and Jionni on the healthy delivery of their baby boy! We look forward to Lorenzo’s first trip to the Jersey Shore and can’t wait to see his first animal print onesie.” If you know anything about Snooki, she’s obsessed with zebra and leopard print. Have you seen those girl’s slippers?
The guido fam has also been showered with love and well wishes from Jersey Shore cast mates. Yup, they’re already in talks of a baby blow out and dressing the little thing to impress:
Baby Snooki
In andPOP’s new weekly “top five” column, Cassandra Gallo will rank everything from obscure song lyrics to the best worst movies. This week she went the totally outrageous route by listing five pieces of motherly wisdom Snooki will probably instill in her child.
Snooki Nicole Polizzi has admitted over and over again that she’s not a role model. From GTL to spending a night in jail, this Poughkeepsie Princess doesn’t censor anything.
So how will this self proclaimed Guidette handle motherhood? We can only imagine the rules she’ll allow her child to live by.
Baby Guidette will inevitably choose a modest diet of pickles over seafood. Snooki once said on Jersey Shore: “I hate the ocean. It’s whale sperm…everybody Google it. That’s why I don’t eat lobster and stuff. Because they’re alive when you kill them.” That’s true; the ‘screams’ of lobsters going into boiling water is enough to put anyone off seafood.
It’s also likely that Baby Guidette’s first word will be Guido and his/her first official movement will be the fist pump.
Here are the top five pieces of advice Snooki might teach her meatball:
1) If it’s a girl, her baby bag will probably be armed with bronzer, a tease comb, and makeup brushes, so that Baby Snooki can reach the ultimate Guidette status. Snooki advises girls everywhere in her book Confessions of a Guidette, “the tanner you are, the hotter you are. You don’t want to look like a pale vampire. I don’t care how hot everyone thinks Edward Cullen is, the boy could use a tan. And I don’t care if you’re tan from a spray bottle or whether you’re brown or oompa loompa status, just be friggin’ tan!”
2) Snooki lives by the rule: mix don’t match. She claims, “Less is not more. More is more if you can’t be spotted ten miles away from a helicopter with a blind pilot add some metallic” Her child’s style will be mix of Snooki’s signature animal print, metallic leggings and furry boots.
3) When it comes to handling boys you best be sure that Snooki’s child will know the difference between a Guido juicehead and gorilla juicehead. “ A Guido juicehead is into his tan, his hair, his style and dancing to house music. A gorilla juicehead is into the gym, tanning, his muscle, and himself.” Noted.
4) Her child will definitely know what a “true friend” is. Snooki advises in her book: “Don’t let your girls drunk drive, drunk dial, leave a club with random guys, or run around drunk on a beach like a frickin idiot.”
5) Finally, we know when this meatball grows up he/she be smushing material because just like Snooki they’ll moisturize, moisturize, moisturize. On Jersey Shore she constantly says “ you need to lotion everyday and if you’re going to “smush” you need lotion on your butt. So that your butt will be softer than a babies bottom”.
Though Snooki may or may not advise her child to follow these guidelines, she’ll probably want the meatball to release his/her inner Poughkeepsie diva and become the boss of the world.
Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino told PEOPLE what he looks for in a woman—and surprisingly it isn’t just someone to look at his crazy abs all day.
The Situation is a more complex man and looks for a girl who gives just as much as she gets.
“Ultimately, she’s just got to work well with the way I live my life,” he says, “I need a girl who knows a relationship is 50-50.”
“I’m a Cancer and I’m Italian,” he said at the launch of NoX Edge (a workout supplement), continuing, “I like to take care of people and do nice things. It doesn’t matter if her hair is blonde or brown, but she must be giving and generous – like myself.”
“If she’s bossy, controlling or high maintenance, those are deal breakers for me.” Also, he also says that “looks are big,” and although he’s not actively looking for a relationship at the moment, he adds “I’m the type of person that’s open, whatever happens, happens.”
If you’re looking to get a piece of The Situation, check him out on the second season of Jersey Shore which premieres July 29 on MTV.
Sorry juiceheads – this guidette’s taken.
Anyone who watched MTV’s smash hit Jersey Shore knows how unlucky Snooki was with men. Well, Snooki, legally known as Nicole Polizzi, has finally found a man that loves her back – pouf and all.
The lucky man is Emilio Antonio: a body builder and personal trainer with an Italian background. Shocker, right?
“He is just like my typical guido juicehead with like a good personality,” Snooki told RadarOnline.
