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Gamers Mind Blog: New Intern

April Apoong — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 21:04:58 +0000

I am a..ninja

Hi everyone, my name is April Apoong and I’m the new intern writer at andPOP.com. Yes, I am their first female game reviewer. I am currently pursuing creative writing at a Post Secondary level and reviewing and writing about games was a natural choice for me. Trust me, I’m no pushover, have you finished Tenchu Wrath of Heaven on the highest difficulty 100 percent? Ever gone on a 30 to 1 winning streak in Dead or Alive 2? Well I have! For these reasons and more I am bringing my zany writing talents to the shores of andPOP. So prepare to see some well written unapologetic video game centric works of literature.

Halo 3: ODST on andPOP

Josh Salem — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 16:22:47 +0000

Jordan had the opportunity recently to preview the latest big name from Bungie as he took out covenant scum with some of the best in Halo 3: ODST exclusively for the Xbox 360 out now. I guess dropping into hell feet first ain’t so bad.

Gamer’s Mind Blog: Infinite Ammo

Brett.Caron — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 18:19:13 +0000

Parent’s Just Don’t Understand… Yet?

Hey Ethel! I killed those Nazi zombies with my, uhh... I killed those Nazis!

Our parents are great, for the most part. When we are too small to defend or feed ourselves, they take care of us. As we grow and mature, they guide and nurture us so that we can become fully functional human beings, and not the equivalent of lower primates, sitting in trees flinging our own crap at each other (thank you Red Forman). But one area where most parents don’t quite have the ability to be the all-knowing influence they would like to be: video games.

When I was growing up playing tag and hide-and-seek, my parents totally understood. They would ask how the game went, where I was hiding, what kind of tag rules I played with – they were very involved, because they could relate my experience to their own. However, when I picked up my first Genesis game, they watched Sonic the Hedgehog like he was an alien from outer space (wait, was he?), shook their heads, and left the room. Thus ended my parent’s ability to fully understand me – from that day forward, there would always be that barrier between us – the invisible yet impassable wall made of 1-ups and gold coins.

But will it always be this way? Should I ever be unfortunate enough to have a pack of small versions of me running around underfoot, will I end up leaving them to their own devices when it comes to electronic entertainment? Or will I be able to enjoy a visit with them to our very own holodeck (wishful thinking, I know) once in a while?

Mastering DDR will never make your kids think you're cool. It may actually hurt that cause.

We know that most parents of the young (18 and under) gaming demographic right now, as well as the parents of my generation, the old guard of gaming (22-30 as of 2009) are lost when it comes to games. This is mostly because games they played when they were young were not video games. Board games and outdoor games were the pastimes of the day. If kids today suddenly picked up jacks or kick the can, their grandparents would be all over it. Any video games that these parents played were arcade games at best – a far cry from the Super Nintendo.

The difference there is that when my generation starts having kids (and some unlucky and/or stupid members already have), what kind of tech-savvy parents will we be? I’m sure that there will be the parents who just don’t get it, and that’s fine. But consider that our generation was the first real generation to have the bridge between adult’s childhood games and their children’s games blown to pieces by the advent of console gaming, leaving them to stare across the gap at their offspring playing games they could barely understand. Believe me when I tell you tag has been around forever. Your parents and their parents never reached an impasse because Grandpa couldn’t understand what was going on in hide-and-seek. So is it so revolutionary that we may be able to relate better to the next generation than our parents could with us? Or were Mom and Dad the exception to the rule?

I think it will be interesting to see whether or not the developing demographic of casual gamers rises to the challenge to understand and appreciate their kids’ new games. It might be depressing and embarrassing to be the guy who has to say to his kid “In my day, we had to play video games with controllers! On TV screens! That’s television, son! And we were thankful!” However, if you sit with the kid after your rant, and see what the new game is for the PS4000, you might just earn his respect. At least until you slip gradually into senility and start cursing at the child while making obscene gestures every time you lose (although a symptom of senility, this is also a symptom of FAIL).

Hey Timmy, are you playing the new Poke-a-man? Sure, Mom.

The last time I talked to my mom about video games was actually not that long ago. I asked her (with this article in mind) the last video game she had played besides the ill fated night she tried to play GoldenEye on the N64 with my brothers and I (good night, by the way – she spent 5 straight minutes trying to shoot out a camera with dual RCP90’s – and infinite ammo). She then told me that I should be proud to have a mother who could beat my father at Donkey Kong Jr. at the arcade when they were young lovers. I was blown away! Could this veneer of kindness, smiles and silly voices hide an inner core of gaming prowess that I simply never noticed before? Time for a follow-up question. Say Mom, you played Donkey Kong Jr., so you must remember Pac-Man, right?

“Oh yeah. He eats things, and…”

Yeah, I know. I laughed too.

If you have any hilarious stories about your parents/kids and video gaming, or the opposite event of a parent stomping you in Halo or Mario Kart, let me know below. This might even lead to a Top 5 List!

Cheers.

*disclaimer: I am fully aware that Sonic the hedgehog is an alien, since he is indigenous to the planet Mobius, and not Earth. Don’t challenge my nerddom!*

Game Review: Professor Layton and The Diabolical Box

sarge-ak47 — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 18:27:34 +0000

Elementary my dear. After almost a year and then some we finally get another Layton game in our grubby little hands. It’s sort of funny as I mentioned in the preview that Japan is on its 4th title and the series is fairly popular there and here is hoping it catches steam in North America. The title is developed by Level 5 who have been handling this small franchise called DRAGON QUEST. The thing that strikes me about The Professor Layton series is how it can be called a true successor to old-school point and click adventure games. Almost every artistic scenery is littered with interactive madness, whether it’s coins that need to be uncovered, a scene to be analyzed or your traditional brain teaser that needs to be solved. Combine the fact that the game follows a very well told story which runs at a decent 12 hours with over 150 puzzles and you have a solid title that is a must buy for gamers of any age group but especially those nostalgic for the old school adventure games.

I've got two tickets to paradise..

Hint 1 – Gameplay I’m going to assume you have a vague idea of what the original title was all about, for the sake of not explaining the mechanics and minute details of the original so I’ll try and keep it more concise and short. The game hasn’t changed much from the original, actually it hasn’t changed any of the mechanics at all from the original. But that’s not really such a bad thing considering the original title was stellar. So for the sequel small refinements will suffice. The meat of the gameplay is the actual point and click story driven puzzle madness of an adventure. You’re taken to a couple of different locations where you uncover coins that you’ll use for hints (since the professor won’t give hints to freeloaders) and carefully follow an intriguing mystery that will have you mulling over countless brain teasers/puzzles. These puzzles are the real star of the show here, they’re genuine, intriguing, and just fascinating to solve. The control and navigation is simple and intuitive. You really feel like a detective at times when whipping out the stylus to solve a devious puzzle. I do like the trace paper option for those puzzles that require you to draw a fair amount; basically you can apply a tracing paper layer over the puzzle area and draw away or note down your thoughts. A nice touch that surely heightens the gameplay. It’s so refreshing to refer back to your working notes on some of the later more tough puzzles in the game. The game has you traversing some interesting places that range from an express train and its frequent stop overs to a quaint European village, a museum and even a castle. Each location has tons of areas to explore. Layton runs at a fairly brisk pace and things never seem to let up or get too intense, I must say it’s an enjoyable ride that will keep your brain active and sharp. Lastly the small inclusion of a “pet” you recieve early on in the game is a nice touch that by the adventure’s end becomes one of the longest running puzzles- no pun intended for those who know. Hint 2 – Graphics I love the look and feel of this title. There aren’t many titles that utilize such beautiful 2D art and have such wonderfully crafted locations. The art style is very reminiscent of European animation with a good dose of Japanese anime injected into it. The characters are drawn with so much personality and detail that it’s often hard not to just observe a location and its bystanders just because of how it all comes together. Just like the previous title, I was blown away by the quality of the animated (and fully voice acted) cartoon sequences thrown in to tell the tale. I wish there were more of these but I do realize the DS Cart has its limitations. Overall the presentation seems like it was given a good polish and shines the entire game. This is an adventure game with brain teasers so you cant expect a robust 3D engine to be running things, so having a talented 2D art team really suits this title and makes it one of those stylistically gorgeous DS titles. Hint 3 – Sound The fully voice acted bits are truly amazing to view and listen to on your DS, the voice acting is done well and makes you wish you wouldn’t have to read dialog boxes for the majority of the title. In terms of ambiant sound the game does its fair share with decent bits like ambiant train noises, sliding doors, etc. anyhing to compliment the tone of the game and create that special ambiance. The music for the puzzles remains almost the same chime tune. It’s definatly complimentary for those puzzles but can get on your nerves if your just hearing it and not playing the game. The other musical selections are fairly well done and have an almost french accordian feel to it, very appropriate and soothing.

Hint 4 - Replay This is the only area where the title might not fully deliver. That’s not to say the adventure is not satisfying nor is it not worth revisiting but essentially once you are done a puzzle and the solution is understood you can’t really have the same level of challenge doing it again can you? So despite the fact that there are a few puzzles with multiple answers, the game is certainly fun but once finished you aren’t going to run into any new reasons to replay it. Granted you could pull this title out after a few months and still be left guessing since you’ve long forgotten the solution but that’s the nature of almost every adventure/ brain teaser title. What you do get that will keep you hooked for a good few months is the DS puzzle of the week. Every week you can connect the game online and download to your Cart a brand new puzzle to solve. I adore this feature since some of the puzzles are quite challenging and will have you scratching your head. Granted you won’t have this feature for the entire year, but while it lasts its something to praise and enjoy. SO GO GET THIS ASAP – lest you want to miss out on this feature. Solution SO without typing too much I’ll summarize what we have. This is a definite buy to all you adventure nuts and brain teaser fans. If you are someone who is into mad casual games and prefers playing brain age or big brain academy let yourself graduate to this title and get a bit more entertainment out of your DS. It is a great ride and has tons of interesting teasers that once solved (without any outside help) give you that RARE sense of accomplishment. I did not feel a single minute was wasted during the 12 hour adventure, it was challenging and very satisfying. GO GET THIS. Gameplay 4.5 /5 Graphics 3.5 /5 Sound 3.5 /5 Replay 3 /5

OUTER PANEL HAVEN. 14

sarge-ak47 — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 21:31:49 +0000

Well, this certainly was an interesting week…almost finishing my review on The METROID PRIME TRILOGY, played Arkham Asylum and unlocked tons of achievements and I saw Kanye act like a total douche on TV.
What else is new?? OH how about the MARVEL buyout?? It’s sad eh? But maybe that’s a plus for Marvel, imagine a good CG marvel movie made by Pixar?? Truth be told a lot of us aren’t sure yet since Disney just has this creepy vibe to it.

Don’t get me wrong I love the animated movies, just not sure I’d trust such cool source material with them. I mean what happened to a sequel to the stellar return of Turok?? (Disney bought out Turoks rights).

So this comic is LOOONG overdue.. and by now almost every artist has touched base on this topic.
I’m the last one then.

As always click on the image for the full sized glory.

NHL ‘10 Crashes the Party Sept. 14 Across Canada

Brett.Caron — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 16:07:51 +0000

Are you excited for EA Sports NHL 10? If you’re Canadian, probably. The #1 selling console game in Canada has it’s launch parties in Toronto and Vancouver Monday, September 14. The Toronto party will be at the Yonge and Dundas Future Shop with Wendel Clark and Ian White (of Maple Leafs fame) from 9pm to 11:45pm, and in Vancouver’s Granville and Robson Future Shop with Trevor Linden of the Canucks. The Future Shop locations will be open until 1am, so check it out if you’re not too busy… and on a Monday night, what’s your excuse?

Cheers!

Gamer’s Mind Blog: Infinite Ammo

Brett.Caron — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 23:09:35 +0000

I'd hate to see the result of this guy losing rock paper scissors.

You know, I have recently become enamored with the idea of the Top 5 List, as I’m sure you have gathered from the numerous past blogs in that fashion. I think that it’s interesting to see what trends and relationships different games share. However, it’s only a matter of time before these lists devolve into trite ideas like “The Top 5 Headshots in Video Games” or “The Top 5 Witty Remarks in Video Games”.

So I think I’ll take a break from my beloved yet frivolous Top 5’s, and talk a bit more directly on a more serious subject that affects people all over the world, gamers and non-gamers alike: Game Rage.

Urban Dictionary defines Game Rage as “when a person or persons playing a videogame (usually multiplayer) gets so fed up of losing that they suffer an episode of intense rage that usually lasts up to 5 minutes.” They go on to say that the rager may “simultaneously sob, scream unintelligibly at the top of their lungs, and throw random punches at anything solid, such as the floor or the person sitting next to them” and perhaps most importantly, that “despite the person’s efforts, their gameplay is inevitably not improved by this course of action.”

What Urban Dictionary doesn’t tell you is that Fallacious Anger and Ineptitude-based Limitation disorder or F.A.I.L. is a very real and dangerous affliction.

A classic example of FAIL.

Thousands, maybe even millions of gamers across the world suffer from FAIL. Many gamers suffer from FAIL for years and don’t realize it until they begin experiencing secondary symptoms, such as broken knuckles and lacerations from punching TV’s, loss of dignity, or incontinence. Although FAIL is not a communicable disease, it can result in annoyance in people experiencing prolonged exposure to someone with FAIL. This means that someone who spends a lot of time around people afflicted with FAIL should ensure they minimize the effects of annoyance – earplugs/phones to avoid auditory effects, and magazines to avoid eye contact with the unfortunate victim.

Symptoms of FAIL vary widely, depending on the variety and severity of FAIL the individual suffers from. Relatively common symptoms include shouting (typically statements of disbelief such as “Oh my God!” or “Come on guys!”), respiratory problems (often results in excessive panting, growling or sighing), and minor loss in motor control (dropping the controller, waving hands around, facial twitches). These can become more serious over time, leading to such outbursts as uncontrolled and unintelligible profanity and/or racial slurs, hyperventilation, and the spontaneous hurling of various peripherals such as controllers and headsets. These more serious symptoms are common to the more developed strain – Eclectic Pronounced Intellectually Challenged F.A.I.L. – colloquially known as E.P.I.C.F.A.I.L.

Angrybot suggests the cure to FAIL is to eat bleach and die. Angrybot cannot be trusted.

The true tragedy of FAIL is that while the victim may believe that their symptoms are actually assisting their performance in gameplay, the truth is that every symptom cumulatively hampers their ability to play, increasing their rate of FAIL. It is a vicious cycle, perpetuating itself until the person collapses under the weight of their FAIL like a dying star. These meltdowns often mimic a stroke or heart attack, and almost always result in death (of the gamer’s character).

Although FAIL has no known cure at the moment, it is treatable to an extent. With the proper support, a person can live a relatively normal life while coping with FAIL. Video games that feature glitches such as invisible walls and targeting or camera problems should be avoided, as they tend to aggravate symptoms and have the added effect of justifying a person’s FAIL to an extent. Similarly, multiplayer games should be avoided since they either aggravate FAIL or result in a misconception of gameplay enhancement in the case of letting the person with FAIL win (a truly hurtful idea, since it only perpetuates FAIL in the long term). When playing a video game with someone with FAIL, it is best to encourage them to relax, and advise that if the game is in fact flawed it can’t be helped at the moment. Suggesting other media is also encouraged, with the exception of movies or television shows with twist endings, since the realization that their theory on the outcome of the story was incorrect can aggravate FAIL.

This is either because of SCTV or FAIL.

FAIL is not always a life-long condition. Many youths suffering from FAIL sometimes suddenly stop experiencing symptoms, often on or around the age of majority. The reason for this is currently unknown, though it has been speculated that the condition may disappear as the patient grows up and stops acting like a child. Unfortunately for some, this never happens. At all.

If you or someone you know is currently suffering from FAIL, we here at andPOP are happy to assist you to get the help you need. In the interest of FAIL research, any and all donations are welcome. Please leave a comment below indicating your preferred method of payment, and a representative of the World Institute to promote Normality (W.I.N.) will contact you.

*disclaimer – The above article is a satire of meaningless PSA’s for disorders that are invented to explain moronic behaviour. If you feel that the above PSA is insensitive or mean, you may be experiencing FAIL.

Cheers!

Do A Good Deed – Get Yourself an Xbox for Christmas?

Brett.Caron — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 16:07:21 +0000

The ultimate remastered edition of the Beatles catalog is probably going to be the big-ticket Christmas item this holiday season. Alongside this cornucopia of creamy Liverpool goodness is The Beatles: Rock Band, most likely the other big ticket Christmas item – if the stores have any left after the initial sellout.

And to provide the third stabilizing leg to this triumverate of old-meets-new deliciousness is a brand-new The Beatles: Rock Band Xbox 360 model. Featuring psychedelic designs by the same animators who will blow your minds via the intro cinematic sequence to the new Rock Band cash-cow, this model also has another feature that I’m sure the boys from across the pond would be proud of – every unit sold has all proceeds benefiting Doctors Without Borders.

Finally, as if the above trinity of Beatlemania wasn’t enough, All You Need Is Love is now available as an Xbox Live download, once again with proceeds going to DWB.

To find out more information, head on over to http://www.xbox.com/en-CA/games/splash/b/beatlesrockband/ where you’ll have the chance to join the Fab Four Mystery Tour, an “interactive look at the Beatles and the many twists and turns of their legendary career.” Check it out, Jude, don’t let me down.

Cheers!

Gamer’s Mind Blog: Infinite Ammo

Brett.Caron — Wed, 09 Sep 2009 22:17:49 +0000

Helllloooooo!

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. This week we’re going to take a look at a group of malevolent, disgusting, and just downright horrible creatures who have terrorized mankind for years. What’s that? No, not lawyers. Not even politicians. This week we are ranking the Top 5 Straight-up Meanest Aliens in Video Games. Almost as long as sci-fi and space opera have been around, there has been the alien creatures to terrorize or befriend the valiant heroes and heroines. Well, forget about your friendly little green men, suckers, because we’re not talking about Starman or ET tonight, we’re talking War of the Worlds and Jabba the Hutt. Let’s do this.

‘Ere we go!

5. The Chimera – Resistance

Resistance 3?

Scary. As. Hell. Playing Resistance for the first time, everything seems to be as per usual for a WWII shooter, until you turn the corner and see the monstrous Chimera hybrids taking aim at you with their alien weaponry. At many different points through the game and it’s sequel Resistance 2, you encounter different and even scarier variants of these creatures, like the aquatic Chimera (just when you though it was safe to go back in the water… although let’s face it, it was never safe to begin with). Especially in Resistance 2, these creatures just get nastier and nastier through the course of the game. And the most disturbing part of it is that they used to be human. Captured by the Chimera and genetically altered into the hideous hybrids, the fact is you’re putting down former Earthlings. And as the series has progressed, the Chimera have evolved. From the hybrids in Resistance, who needed cooling devices to keep their superheated bodies from pulling an Xbox 360 overheat, to the later evolutions who just burst out of pods throughout the game and come tearing after you, the Chimera use their advanced weaponry and cannibalistic tactics to not only subjugate the human race, but to steamroll them into the fold. Nasty.

4. The Geth – Mass Effect

The best part about being Geth? Free satellite radio.

Ever wondered what would happen if the Borg had sex with the Zerg? The answer is the Geth. I think that Bioware didn’t want to come off as anti-Semitic by calling them the Zorgberg. They don’t just kill you – they impale you on large spikes that turn you into cyber-zombies that fight for them. Zombies! Implacable synthetic foes created as slaves for other, less terrifying aliens (the Quarians), the Geth don’t feel emotion. They don’t get scared when Commander Shepard blows away 4 of them in as many seconds, they keep coming. In that respect they are certainly unique – I’m reasonably sure everyone fears Commander Shepard, because he’s a dick. The biggest dick in the galaxy. With a Spectre badge, a galaxy’s worth of resources, irrefutable authority, and unlimited spite. Facing down that with nary a whimper definitely qualifies the Geth their spot on our list.

3. Necromorphs – Dead Space

No, man! It's not a hug! IT'S A TRAP!

When I played Dead Space, I’m reasonably sure I lost 10 pounds. 5 from sweating in terror every time a Necromorph sprang out of nowhere to attack me, and another 5 from crapping myself the first time it happened. These things are scary. Mutated humans with multiple extra limbs, an appetite for human flesh, and faces that make Emperor Palpatine look like Edward from Twilight, these nasties definitely don’t want to be friends. Like some of our other entries on this list, these nasties used to be human. But the influence of a man-made virus that reacts with dead tissue results in these brutally ugly, vicious, parasitic and altogether unpleasant zombie-alien hybrids. And you’re stuck on a barely-functioning spaceship with them. Not my idea of a great day.

2. Wrex – Mass Effect

The only reason he isn't kicking ass right now is out of spite.

Urdnot Wrex is a Krogan Battlemaster, which is kind of like a Ping-Pong Grand Master but with less ping-pong and more stomping face. He’s over 300 years old, and at least 3 centuries of that time has been spent ruining aliens and humans all over the galaxy. Wrex is a true mercenary, which means he doesn’t take orders from anyone for less than a week’s worth of beer money. As a matter of fact, the only being in the galaxy that he is intimidated enough by to do what he wants without pay is none other than Commander Shepard, a.k.a The Biggest Dick in the Galaxy (see the Geth entry for further details on Shepard and his badassery). And you can’t really fault him for that – Shepard is the Chuck Norris of Mass Effect, but without Chuck’s moral code or aversion to punching babies and women in the face. Another intimidating feature of Wrex that makes him stand out from the very first time you meet him (in a strip club, scaring the crap out of the bouncers) is his deep, baritone voice. He sounds like Solid Snake in slow motion – underwater. Finally, let’s face it – you have to respect a dude who shoots first, shoots second, kicks ass third, then maybe asks a question later.

1. Xenomorphs – Aliens vs. Predator

Xenomorph hives actually have great dental plans.

As they’ve constantly been referred to in their media, the “perfect organism” is exactly that – from a certain point of view. If your idea of the perfect organism involves a parasitic, death-dealing bio-mechanical super-insect from outer space, then sure, they’re perfect. But for the rest of us, the Xenomorphs (or simply Aliens) are possibly one of the most frightening and disturbing creatures ever to crawl from a human being’s torso (the other being Christopher Walken). Speaking of crawling out of your torso, the Alien won’t just kill you – they drag you into the darkness, cocoon you and shove an egg down your throat to spawn a brand-new beastie. One would argue it’s less painful and terrifying to just get killed than suffer through that experience. And if any of those eggs are sitting around, it doesn’t matter how many of the Aliens you kill – there will always be more. Designed by a Swiss surrealist with more psychological issues than a crazy-coated nutbar, the Alien is simultaneously brutal, sleek and sexual. So once again, kind of like Christopher Walken (who incidentally, almost made this list).

Honourable Mention: The Orks – Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine

What's more awesome than an Ork smoking a cigar? Doesn't matter, you're dead.

“Orkses is never beaten in battle. If we wins, we wins, if we die we die so it don’t count as beat, an’ if we runs for it we don’t die ‘neither, so we can always come back for anuvver go, see?”
That quote alone should guarantee the Orks a spot on this list. But let’s face it – the Orks earned their spot on this list through brute force, uncompromising devotion to war, and attitude. A lot of the entries on this list are faceless, inhuman creatures that can’t be easily related to much less understood. But the Orks speak English (kind of), use weapons similar to ours and even approximate some human mannerisms and cultural cliches! An Ork is not a slender, Elfy pansy nor a sleek, pseudo-sexy Xenomorph. He’s a 7 ft. green soccer hooligan with a chainsword and a pistol with a barrel as wide as your fist. Also, he’s interchangeably roaring like an animal and calling you a “little ‘umie git”. That is pretty much the definition of “feared” and “avoided” and “Chelsea Headhunter”. It’s also the reason the Imperial Guard have a 94% casualty rate.

If you guys think I missed anyone that should have belonged in the Top 5, or think that maybe one of these other nasties should have been #1, or not on the list at all, let me know below. Maybe we can do a Round 2!

Cheers!

Game Review: Wolfenstein

Josh Salem — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:03:21 +0000

Wolfenstein, the first, first person shooter I ever played has come back with an all new story, new powers, and yes, zombie Nazis. But do powers, a unique story and zombies really make a game great? I figured since I have history with this title that I would put it upon myself to find out by writing up a full review about Wolfenstein on the Xbox 360, below see what I thought.

Taking place during Nazi Germany during WWII, Wolfenstein focuses on the paranormal studies both the Nazi’s and the allies looked into. Experiments using a Dark Force known only as the Black Sun are extremely close to giving Nazi’s the power needed to rule the world and all that stands in the way of total domination is a spunky young American soldier known lovingly as BJ. A straight up WWII FPS for the first few minutes, players quickly see where this game veers off course into a sci-fi shoot-em-up with everything from space-aged weaponry to zombie Nazis, what more could a gamer ask for?

BJ has a number of weapons at his disposal, from melee attacks using his gun butts and shovels, to occult powers of the veil and a mysterious amulet that lets him use and recharge his powers. These powers are somewhat out of place, but give the title a little more depth to the already shallow story. With the ability to see an alternate world around him (complete with exploding freaky metroid type monsters only you can see), slow down time, create a shield, strengthen bullets, and more you will find yourself constantly utilizing these powers (more than I would have liked), and constantly looking for pools to refill your veil energy. Like Wolverine’s feral sense, Spiderman’s spidey sense, and Batman’s … bat sense? You will find yourself playing through most of the game in veil view, taking away from the graphics and textures… which might not actually be a bad thing.

Expect to play most of the game through this perspective.

The graphics found in Wolfenstein are a mixed bag, sometimes it looks fantastic, other times, not so much. Case in point is a cutscene with BJ is talking to two other soldiers, all their heads and hands are well textured and animated, while the room around them, their bodies and their suits look absolutely horrible, Call of Duty 2 graphics (and no, not Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2). Character animations in game are pretty underwhelming as well, while the Havoc engine is at use to create the necessary physics in this one, you would never know by the way npcs moved around during gun fights. When you will notice it however is whenever a special effect is present. Shooting Dark Force barrels will send enemies floating in the sky where they will grab at anything to balance themselves, a nice touch but really nothing new since Star Wars: the force unleashed. The lighting effects are overall very nice, however as mentioned before, more often than not you won’t even be able to appreciate most of them as you will be using your veil view throughout most of the game.

While I may have slammed the graphics a little for this game, it’s nothing in comparison to how bad the audio experience was when playing. Bad voice acting is one thing, but Wolfenstein takes the top spot for wishing my ears would just give out a little. Poor voice acting with horribly bland german accents of English throughout most of the game gets extremely tiring very quickly. Even when Nazis are talking to you and think your another german citizen, they still speak English with bad heavy German accents. The biggest issue I had with the voice work in this game came from the design of gameplay. Walk into one of the secret hidden ally hideouts (conveniently painted logos on their doors by the way) and walk past 3 npcs and you will hear 3 separate people telling you 3 different stories at the same time with the same volume. It gets so bad that unless you stop and listen to each person as you come up to them and wait for them to finish talking, you won’t know where you are supposed to go next. Explosions, and gunfire are standard fare and don’t merit discussion.

Zombies... and Nazis... combined into the ultimate enemy.

The game itself plays fine and is in fact a fun game to play. There’s a level of patience necessary when traversing the city as you are constantly being hunted down and chased by Nazis if your not holed up in a safe house. Utilizing basic gaming form, hidden passages, exploding barrels, collectible items such as gold and intel and finally earning cash for completing missions which can then be used to upgrade your weapons and powers provide enough reason to retry a mission or two but in the end, you will be playing this game to stop the Nazis and nothing else. Zombie Nazis look ghoulish and outlandish, which I feel, is a plus. How could anyone not want to shoot two of the most hated being types in the world (zombies and Nazis) put together into one monster? There’s definitely a level of satisfaction coming from the death of each one (by the way, you don’t even see your first zombie Nazi until a good 4 or 5 hours into gameplay).

Nazi Moby directs traffic in Berlin.

Another aspect Wolfenstein holds is a decent multiplayer mode in which up to 12 players (only 12) can battle in team death match, objective, and stopwatch modes and pick between three different classes such as solider medic and engineer. As you play, you gain experience to allow you to unlock items such as flack jackets, extra grenades, weapon upgrades, and power upgrades. While the addition of multiplayer modes is always welcome, with games such as Modern Warfare offering so much more it almost comes as an insult thinking that Wolfenstein could get away with such a meager offering.

As long as you can handle the bad graphics, bad voice acting, and ridiculous story, you might very well enjoy Wolfenstein. While it is somewhat reminiscent of the original Wolfenstein 3D (such as the old school loading screen and the difficulty levels being the same as the original PC ones), Wolfenstein is a completely new game for a new generation.

Gameplay: 3/5

Graphics: 3/5

Sound: 1/5

Replay Value: 2/5