The Tumblr Actresses Without Teeth is basically why we won’t sleep tonight. Here’s who’ll be haunting our dreams:
1. Taylor Swift (she was in Valentine’s Day, okay?)
2. Ellen Degeneres, Katy Perry and Portia De Rossi
3. Kristen Stewart
4. Emma Watson
Buzzfeed put on their investigative journalism hats and went down the Nation For Marriage rally in Washington, D.C. just as the Supreme Court continues debate on whether or not they should overturn Prop 8, the ban that currently makes it illegal for same-sex couples to be married. Buzzfeed asked 20 young people to write why they believe marriage should only be restricted to a man and woman.
All of the answers were hardly compelling, citing God, religion and the bible as reasons to ban gay marriage. One young woman even went so far as to suggest that by legalizing gay marriage, she will be forced into a same-sex relationship:
Uh, no. No one’s going to force you into anything, FYI. You’d still be allowed to go about marrying the man of your dreams, while the LGBTQ community will be able to legally marry the person of their dreams.
Of course, as people of the internet are wont to do with answers like these, they got a little silly with the pad and paper format and pretty much meme-d that shit. Here are just 7:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Is it mean to meme them? Yes. But remember that interracial marriage was only legalized in 1967, 46 years ago.
Being Chris Brown’s publicist must be a nightmare. I’m sure there’s more to it than this College Humor video, but from just the looks of this, it’s hardly the high power job anyone in Hollywood would ever try to strive for.
The Internet is a vast place, full of dark secrets and Reddit inside jokes. Puppets Glove and Boots do their very best to tack down just 10 things on the internet they don’t understand. I have two questions for my puppet pals:
1. How do you even whittle the list down to TEN things when there are Patrick Star memes to talk about?
2. Why is there a photo of Joseph Gordon-Levitt on your wall? Don’t get me wrong, I fully approve, but I don’t know how he fits into this video.
Other than that, thanks for reminding me Instant Cosby exists. I’m just going to waste my afternoon on Bill Cosby and his sweaters now.
This week Nick (and the rest of the group) has to deal with Nick’s father’s passing. The gang road trips it to Chicago for the funeral and Jess gets to meet the fam.
WARNING: Do not go into this episode thinking the entire thing will be cupcakes and rainbows and a shirtless half hour of Ryan Gosling. Sh*t got a little real this episode. There was more emotion this week than we’re used to seeing from the series, but the writers hit the nail on the head with the balance of appropriate humour and comedic relief. It wasn’t an episode to challenge the likes of Grey’s Anatomy or anything, but let’s just say my roommate and I caught each other sniffling. Here are a few things from this week:
1. “Nick’s just mad because that balloon beat his punk ass”
Jess brings home a bunch of helium balloons from a guy giving them away out of his van. Classic Jess. Also- this is all I want my life to be. Just sitting around, huffing helium all day, ‘err day, the rest of my life. I know, I’m an overachiever. Try and tell me that’s not the most fun ever. I dare you.
2. Winston Gets Cheated
Winston gets an A+. As per usual, I felt like Winston got a little cheated this episode. I feel like Winston repeatedly gets cheated. He’s primarily being used to cap off a punch line or give the joke that little extra dash of emotion or expression to send it over the edge of hilarity. He knows how to play it and he does it well. I really want an episode to be centered around Winston. Why? Because of reasons, that’s why. That and it would probably be my favourite episode ever.
2. “IT’S CALLED PAP!”
NICK KROLL GUEST STARS?! WHAT?! WHAT!!! YES. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE MAKE HIM RECURRING. I can’t even. All my emotions.
2. “I really feel transported to the ghetto.”
I think this should be mandatory at all funerals? P.S Mamma miller can break it down.
2. Nick and Jess are meant to be
Nick and Jess are going to end up getting married. It’s going to happen. I don’t know how I feel about this upon further reflection, but we’ll see.
Ryan Lochte is like a gift that keeps giving.
In an efforts to keep him relevant between the Olympics, the Olympic swimmer’s new E! reality show What Would Ryan Lochte Do? is set to premiere on April 21.
While just under a month away, E! has just released a four minute sneak peek into Lochte’s world. Obviously, the preview is full of Lochte-isms we could only expect from the swimmer, including a quick lesson on how to say “Jeah!” and a night out on the town.
While the women come to him at the bars, I can’t help but giggle as one of the women he flirts with asks, “Does this work for everybody?” He techniques may suck, but as we soon find out that he is indeed looking for love.
Will he find it? We’ll have to watch to find out!
Remember how in high school the tambourine was the most jokes instrument because, well, who can’t play the tambourine?
You shake it up and down, side to side, and it jingles. If you wanna get creative, you hit the pad inside the rings if your tambourine is more evolved.
What I didn’t realize is that tambourine playing is an art. My years playing percussion in high school never brought me to this point with the tambourine (that’s because the snare drum was a lot cooler).
Some people clearly take tambourine playing quite seriously, and this man is one of those people. In this video a man shows us how real musicians play the tambourine. I’m not sure whether to be mystified, or fearful.
The youtube viewers also seem to have some words about this artistry.
You keep dancing, tambourine man.
Patrick Star may have been the most underrated character on Spongebob Squarepants. As Spongebob’s loyal best bud, the guy literally lived under a rock and who’s social calendar depended on Spongebob’s free time. While the show has become a children’s TV staple, I still wonder how the show avoided falling into the hole of obscurity. Don’t get me wrong—I’m happy it didn’t or else these Screaming Patrick memes wouldn’t be popping up on my dashboard.
Like many people, I don’t exactly get it, but I like it. Long live Patrick Star!
1.
via bustedweave.tumblr.com
2.
3. Read more…
Don’t EVER fall asleep during an improv performance because this just may happen to you.
When an audience member fell asleep during an improv performance in Germany, the group decided to wake her up by singing happy birthday and stripping down in front of her.
What a way to wake up.
Improv. You’re doing it right.
It’s Puss In Boots in the flesh. Watch this small cat attack a much larger dog. Does “pick on someone your own size,” even apply in this scenario? Your call. This cat is fierce. I would not want to be on their bad side thats for sure.
Now if only she could only stand up right like this, then I would go out and buy her some little shoes, a hat, cape and a tiny sword:
When Ocean’s Fourteen comes out, it will be starring this baby bandit. This two-year-old has some nifty tricks up his sleeves. This kid uses nail clippers to break into his sister’s room to steal a pillow pet from her all while leaving no trace of evidence behind.
Watch out Danny Ocean and Jason Bourne, this kid might just out smart you guys.
With their ridiculous orgasmic-like moans and the statutory hair flip, women’s shampoo ads are always a little ridiculous. Those ads are probably the best example of how over-the-top gender marketing has become.
This Brazilian takes all those little quirks typically found in ads geared towards women and uses them for Dove’s line of shampoo for men. Watch as this guy with luscious Fabio-worthy locks hair flips in slow-motion which is sure to make anyone jealous — be it man or woman. Too bad he doesn’t think it’s a good thing and rushes home to wash his hair with some manly shampoo. We really wouldn’t mind watching the guys flip their hair now and then if it meant some obligatory slow motion and wind machines.
WATCH THE VIDEO BELOW:
1. Why did no one tell the Backstreet Boys that the Harlem Shake is dead?
2. Nick Carter is pretending to be New York City’s singing cowboy, a.k.a. he’s practically naked.
Enjoy, ladies and gents.
A billboard in North Carolina has everyone talking and it wasn’t a catchy slogan that did it. A woman named Jennifer apparently caught her husband Michael cheating on her. But instead of trying to cover up the whole ordeal, she rented a billboard to tell everyone what a lying piece of scum he really was.
It looks like the whole town wanted to be in on the joke as a number of billboards referencing Jennifer’s has popped out, including an advertisement for mattresses that could fit in the dog house. It’s all just absolutely brilliant.
From Time Magazine to cat food commercials, Grumpy Cat is everywhere now a days. And with fame, comes dozens of imitators. Just look at Anderson Cooper’s attempt:
It’s one thing to frown, but the ability to replicate a “U” shape frown a la Grumpy Cat is a special talent. Here are five people who actually do look like Grumpy Cat:
1. Nick Miller (Jake Johnson) from New Girl
2. Jim Halpert (John Krasinski) from The Office
3. Blaine Anderson (Darren Criss) from Glee Read more…
Apparently, Disney’s slogan “The Happiest Place on Earth” doesn’t extend to its Studio parking lot.
Writer Alan Sereboff posted this note on his Tumblr yesterday claiming that it was placed on a “friend of a friend’s car at Disney Studios.” The friend has repeatedly parked in a reserved spot and needless to say, the owner of said spot is a little pissed off about it.
Not only has the writer of the said letter threatened to cover the car in egg salad and Walt’s famous chili so it “dries into a substance so hard all the windows will have to be replaced,” he also threatened to include the offending driver on his list of “The Greatest Assholes of Human History.” Hitler, Dahmer, Genghis Khan, Bush (not clear if he meant W. or H.W.), Tina Fey, Pol Pot, Zach Braff and Jack the Ripper.
HOLD. UP. Why is Tina Fey on this list? What did she do to even be called an asshole? Judging from her New York Times best seller Bossypants, she may be the greatest person alive.
Anyways, the lesson to be learned here is don’t piss off a Disney employee, for as happy as they’re supposed to be, they apparently have a dark side to them.
What should’ve been a routine traffic stop turns into a “deadly” confrontation between the Black Power Ranger and the cops.
The Black Ranger gets pretty aggressive after the cop asks him to step out of his car and he even calls on his friends for help. Unsurprisingly, they don’t appear and the Black Ranger is ultimately left to fend for himself. It must be hard to be living the life of an unmasked superhero.
I’m always the one in charge of putting the pizza boxes in the recycling box and making sure I don’t leave a trail of crumbs all the way down the stairs and into the garage.
Next time I have pizza, I’m going to refer to this video that shows all the innovative ways you can use a pizza box. I promise I’m only watching this because these are really cool ways to use a pizza box, and not because I am trying to avoid my chores.
Okay, maybe I am a little bit but that doesn’t mean I want to make my own Samurai pizza box costume.
Poor guy is probably just having a bad day. Trying to sink his teeth on every car that passes by, this dog is failing pretty badly.
Everyone has their off days, but this was probably for the best. Had he actually got a hold of a car, things would have probably ended badly.
Once upon a time, before Joseph Gordon-Levitt became a Hollywood heartthrob, he was just a young boy on Jeopardy.
Known mostly as Tommy Solomon in 3rd Rock from the Sun, Gordon-Levitt was present in a celebrity edition of the game show to support the charity Zero Population Growth (now called Population Connection), a group that works towards stopping an unsustainable rate of world population growth. Also present, was Kirsten Dunst and Benjamin Salisbury.
Unfortunately, JGL didn’t win but managed to get really excited to answer a question from his favourite book The Catcher in the Rye.
Check out the precious video below!
