andPOP - Pop Culture With Substance

Brody Jenner’s birthday + Cabo San Lucas = an episode not to be missed. Everyone is ready for a good time aside from Audrina Patridge who brings her emotional baggage (Justin Bobby) on the trip with her. Lesson of the day: don’t let your ex become tighter with your friends than you are. When they arrive, Lauren Conrad comments on the pretty “house” they’ll be living in. It’s easy to confuse house with mansion when you grew up in Laguna Beach. Ironically, Audrina and JB get put into the same room. She quickly wheels her stuff out and bunks with Lauren. Justin Bobby actually seems to miss Audrina when he realizes she’s left him for a hot Australian. Well when you treat a girl like shit, she usually leaves you. Doug Reinhardt’s expert advice: “I have one thing to say, all girls are shady.” This theory doesn’t stop Doug from inviting dozens of girls over to their mansion for Brody’s birthday present. I wonder if it was more of a present to himself considering there’s hardly anymore Hills co-stars to date. Brody happily realizes all the guys are single. Justin Bobby finds he’s included as well: “If this is the weekend to get a hall pass and find out your girl’s got a boy this is probably it, right?” Many drinks later, Justin Bobby and Audrina decide to have a rational discussion- mainly about her flower-designed hair clip that Corey gave her. JB steals it and Audrina looks like she’s about to cry. I sense a drunken fight coming on.
Audrina: “you came to Cabo on a hall pass.”
Justin “you left me for another boy!”

Someone’s ego’s bruised. But since Justin has a knack for playing with her head, Audrina ends up more confused than ever. LC tells her that she should stop talking to Justin. Audrina wonders, “Maybe it’s time to let him go.” Could this be the demise of Mister Justin Bobby?

Maybe he’ll be exiled like Stephanie Pratt. Stephanie is sad that she wasn’t invited on the trip. But she has someone to keep her distracted- her boyfriend Cameron. When Heidi Montag invites Stephanie and Cameron to double date with her and Spencer, Stephanie looks scared. Double date with brother dearest? I’d be scared too. Heidi’s take: “Even if your family doesn’t like him that couldn’t change everything.” Obviously Heidi is speaking from experience. At dinner, Spencer announces: “I’m so excited to see this lucky gentleman that has the honour of dating my fabulous sister.” I’m actually starting to like his sarcasm; does that make me a bad person?
Cameron: “your sister’s really funny, she makes me laugh a lot”
Spencer: “she makes me laugh a lot too.”

The dude’s got a point. Spencer proposes a toast: “to going to dinner with my sister and her first boyfriend.” Stephanie looks like she’s about to cry, especially after Spencer brings up Doug. Meanwhile, Cameron looks bored to death, like he was paid to be on the show- which he probably was. Would you freely date Stephanie after the episodes you’ve seen? The next day, Stephanie confronts Spencer on his behaviour. His response: “You should be appreciative a) I talk to you b) I went to a dinner with you and your new boyfriend and c) I paid for the dinner.” I guess he didn’t comply with d) I paid you back for all that time I mooched off your couch.

Audrina Patridge continues looking for a Justin Bobby substitute. She goes on a date with Corey Bohan from Australia. When Lauren Conrad asks Audrina about Justin, Audrina answers: “I dunno, he’s a weird one. I don’t get him.” Took her long enough! After getting so used to JB, Audrina’s thankful for a guy who returns her calls and doesn’t stand her up. Yes, Audrina, it’s abnormal for a guy not to be a jerk. During a romantic dinner, Corey questions Audrina’s love life. Unlike Colin, he doesn’t run screaming. When she questions his, he answers “stress free, just cruisin.” This seems to sit perfectly with Audrina. She likes the non-committed types.

Corey comes by to Audrina’s pad and like a good house-wife-in-training, she gives him cereal and strawberries. LC comes downstairs and is happy to see Audrina with someone other than JB. Me too Lauren, me too… Audrina mentions they’re all going to Cabo for Brody’s birthday and invites Corey. His response: “sounds like a big deal.” Whoa, too much commitment for aussieboy? However, he’s not opposed to going to Malibu for the day with the rest of LC’s crew. Audrina takes Corey as her date while Lauren takes Whitney. LC explains to Whitney, “Justin’s there till someone better comes around.” At the pool party, Frankie Delgado receives a phone call from JB. Uh Oh. Turns out Brody Jenner has already invited Justin Bobby to Cabo with them. When Frankie informs Audrina of this, she tells him what she told JB, that it’s his choice to be with her or not. Obviously Justin Bobby chooses not.

Later on, in Runyon Canyon Park, LC and Audrina walk what is assumed to be Chloe, except she is way bigger than her last appearance. Audrina informs LC that Justin Bobby keeps calling her, most likely because he knows she’s dating. She wonders “Who to choose?” LC smartly points out that Justin Bobby isn’t going anywhere. True to her word, JB comes over to her place where they have a deep discussion which involves Justin convincing Audrina to go swimming alone: “You can go in and I can watch.” Creeeepy. Of course, Audrina goes in. To convince Justin Bobby to join her, she decides to swim topless. I guess Audrina thinks being easy will reel him in. Maybe for night but not in the future; when they discuss Cabo, Justin’s words are “it’s on!” What Justin, what is on? In his explanation, he’s allowed to do whatever he wants in Cabo. Audrina’s last words to him “I don’t trust you.” Duh.

In the land of Speidi, Spencer Pratt informs Stephanie that he doesn’t know who he dislikes more, Holly Montag or “stalker mom” as he refers to Heidi’s mother. He explains he was “bombed like Pearl Harbour.” Then he explains that the letter Heidi gave Lauren upsets him since he “didn’t get to read it or spell-check it.” Is he actually being funny?! Maybe Spencer does have more to offer aside from being the token Douch-Bag. However, he reverts to his usual smirk when he brings up Holly moving out for the 500th time. Heidi’s response: “You were at your sister’s for over 2 months.” Go Heidi! Of course Spencer avoids the question and instead gives her an ultimatum, “one of us has to move out.” Who is she going to choose, her asshole ex-fiance-boyfriend or her loving sister? Well of course Heidi being Heidi informs Holly that the living situation isn’t working out and she should move out already. Holly doesn’t understand why it has to be her or Spencer. Shouldn’t she know by now Spencer doesn’t share his assets?

“What could go wrong? Everything,” as LC declares at the start of episode 4. The Hills posse ditches LA for Vegas to attend Frankie Delgado’s birthday. Somehow, even Stephanie Pratt and Doug get an invite. I guess the bro-lationship between the dudes is still in tact even though Lauren Conrad dumped him. Everyone seems okay with Doug being there, but that is probably due to his private jet flying them to Vegas. As Stephanie Pratt voices the question on everyone’s mind: “you broke up with a guy who has a jet?” However, Stephanie Pratt does not have much to offer to this trip aside from drama. During Frankie’s birthday dinner at the Venetian, Stephanie asks Brody Jenner why he told Lauren Conrad not to be friends with her. His reply includes her stint with drugs and how she’s an untrustworthy person. This sends her crying to her room with Lauren Conrad comforting her. I guess it’s chicks before dicks for LC.

However, this does not hold true when it comes to Audrina Patridge. She and Justin Bobby are also invited to Frankie’s Vegas. They do come but spend all of 5 seconds with the group at a Vegas club. Turns out Audrina had ignored Lauren previously that week. The two avoid each other all night, which leaves Audrina seeking advice from Justin. Not a good idea. Who can pay attention to what he’s saying when his mellow voice just makes you want to sleep? LC, however, smartly gets advice from the birthday boy: “sometimes, you just have to do what’s right for you.” You tell ‘em Frankie! LC is worried about her friend count going down, but as long as she keeps adding ex bfs to her friendship list, she should be fine. Nonetheless, Audrina and Lauren finally talk. I don’t understand why it took them so long when they live on the same property. Luckily, Audrina Patridge’s conversation with Lauren Conrad does not end like Lo Bosworth’s did. After much accusing and defending, both girls start crying. Mascara is trickling everywhere but they finally end their feud and all becomes well in Hills Land.

Nevertheless, a huge shock rattles all Hills fans when Frankie tells the girls that Doug and Brody have been arrested. This shock, like most on the Hills, lasts about 2minutes between the end of episode 4 and the beginning of episode 5 when we find out that Doug had gotten punched by some weirdo and he and Brody were at the casino police station filing a report about him. Oh how reality TV loves to twist things… Only Lo sees the bright side and announces that they should all come back to Las Vegas during the court date.

On the other side of the tracks, Spencer Pratt is feuding about Holly Montag moving in with him and Heidi. His main issues as he explains to Heidi include a) Holly erasing two of his TiVo programs and b) she lies around the house in pajamas watching TV. Come on, at least Holly didn’t plant a fish tank in the middle of his living room. Spencer seems to have forgotten those weeks he spent on Stephanie’s couch. Instead, he devises a scheme that is sure to get Holly out. He tells her that both he and Heidi want her out, but Heidi is just too nice to say anything. Wasn’t ‘nice’ supposed to be Spencer’s middle name? However, like all of Spencer’s schemes, everything comes back to bite him. Heidi is fuming when she finds out what Spencer said to Holly. Seems like Holly will get his bed and Spencer will be back on the couch where he belongs.