After the rumour mill for the 50 Shades of Grey movie started churning last year, we heard a lot about how Emma Watson was likely to play the lead role of Ana Steele.
I’m sorry, what? I think most of us figured Watson was a little too classy and smart to do that…and we were right!
Watson recently confirmed via Twitter that she woud not be in the film.
Who here actually thinks I would do 50 Shades of Grey as a movie? Like really. For real. In real life.
— Emma Watson (@EmWatson) March 17, 2013
?
— Emma Watson (@EmWatson) March 17, 2013
Good. Well that’s that sorted then.
— Emma Watson (@EmWatson) March 17, 2013
: )
— Emma Watson (@EmWatson) March 17, 2013
I quite enjoy sassy Emma Watson. She’s perfect.
It’s been a while since we’ve seen a good Fifty Shades of Grey parody make the rounds online, but Brock Baker wins with his impersonation of 50 different people reading the erotic novel. Impressions include Christopher Walken, Robert De Niro, Frank Sinatra, Elmo, Adam Sandler and Homer Simpson.
Many women would die and go to heaven if news breaks that Ryan Gosling will play Christian Grey in the upcoming film adaptation of E.L James’ steamy novel Fifty Shades of Grey.
But according to James herself, the role of Christian hasn’t even been set in stone.
“As usual, it’s all been misreported,” she recently told Ryan Seacrest on his KIIS-FM radio show after reports that her husband Niall had spilled the beans on the film’s cast.
“What happened is that his local paper … reported on my husband being the inspiration for Christian Grey,” she continued. “Underneath it, they put a picture of Ryan Gosling as well. So, that’s how that [rumor] came about.”
But while there may be a lot of speculation on who would play the best Christian Grey, James says the film is “far too early in the process.” So that means, there are plenty of other men who could be suited for the role!
But personally, after reading the book and being horrified surprised by the contents, I don’t think I can deal with Gosling being in the movie. I’d much rather see him play a mysterious driver…or revert back to his Breaker High days, thank you very much!!
Who is the best person in the WORLD you can think of to read Fifty Shades of Grey? That’s right, Morgan Freeman because he has that luscious and silky, deep voice. Well, it happened… sort of. Actor/comedian Josh Robert Thompson from Family Guy narrates selections from the erotic novel as Morgan Freeman. Although the passages come from writer E.L. James, Thompson adds his own quirky commentary in.
Listen to it here:
I understand the awkwardness of reading an erotic novel like Fifty Shades of Grey on the subway. That’s why I’ve come up with this craftacular DIY manual, to guide you through reading it without anyone knowing the better.
Operation: Wrap Around
Level: Easy
Reader: This is the ideal solution for someone with few resources and little time.
Tactic: If you’re not concerned about damaging the spine of the novel, wrap the front cover around the back to block the sultry title from the wide-eyed grandmother sitting in priority seating. If cracking the binding is a concern, consider the following: if you’re standing, face a wall so the title of the novel is blocked from other passengers and if you’re sitting down, balance the book on the top of your thighs. Disclaimer: If you choose the latter, it might be slightly uncomfortable to read the text at this jarring angle but your objective will be fulfilled and judgemental riders won’t know you’re reading about The Red Room of Pain.
Operation: Genius
Level: Medium Read more…
Every week ANDPOP columnist Kelly Burns narrows down the most bizarre stories of the week. They’re not exactly newsworthy but just weird enough to grab our attention. This week, China’s dealing with a stolen penis and someone wants to — wait for it — see Nickelback.
Who wants to see Nickelback?
I don’t know what’s more embarrassing, the fact this guy fell 40-feet into a gorge or the fact that the reason he fell was because he was trying to sneak into a Nickelback concert. Kevin Beaudette apparently really wanted to see Nickelback last Tuesday, when they played at New York’s Saratoga Performing Arts Center. Falling 40-feet into the Geyser Brook Gorge, and only having a few cuts and scrapes is impressive. But the emotional scars that are going to follow him now, couldn’t be any bigger. He will forever be known as “that guy” who tried to see NICKELBACK. Automatic douche-bag status. Keep rockin’ that spiked hair, studded belt and awesome music… not.
Kim Kardashian can smell cavities
A couple years ago Kim Kardashian went on Jimmy Kimmel and took a quick whiff of his breath to see if he had any cavities. ”I have a weird sixth sense — I can smell whenever someone has a cavity. If someone has a conversation with me, I can smell it,” she insisted. Last night on Keeping Up With the Kardashians (What? I don’t watch that) Kim was positive Khloe’s hubby the Candy Man Lamar needed a few fillings. And it turns out she was completely right. But if she has such a good sense of smell, what’s up with that fragrance of hers? Ouch! Just joking people, it was an easy shot.
Someone stole this man’s penis! Read more…
If you can’t stand to read the book on your own, let these celebrities and YouTubers do it for you…
Ellen Degeneres
Ellen was asked to record the steamy novel Fifty Shades of Grey but was shocked at the pornographic language, so she opted to paraphrase the most obscene terminology (think of secret gardens and hammers). She went one step further by adding in sound effects, using her own vocalizations and props. Oh my.
Gilbert Gottfried
Gilbert Gottfried’s cranky voice doesn’t lend itself well to BDSM. We hope this doesn’t ruin the book for you.
Kristen Stewart
This drunk chick reads Fifty Shades of Grey while (obvs) drinking white wine. For some reason, she insists on speaking in a variety of Shakespearean accents, even though both Christian and Anastasia are both American. This is why you disable your webcam before a night at the bar people…
Duke Nukem Read more…
Selling around 10 million copies worldwide and even surpassing the Harry Potter series’ record of the fastest-selling paperback, E.L James’ erotic novel Fifty Shades of Grey seems to be taking the world by storm.
It’s hard to believe why that is, since I basically tortured myself from reading this novel just recently. Featuring terrible grammar and sex scenes so weird, my face was literally like this the whole time while reading:
So what better way to poke fun at the horrifying contents of James’ novel than through karaoke?
Inviting three members in his studio audience to sing some actual excerpts from the novel, Jimmy Fallon inevitably creates some comic genius.
But really, the funny thing here isn’t actually the karaoke. It’s the fact that these words were actually published in a New York Times’ best seller.
I’ll half admit that I want to read Fifty Shades of Grey just to see what all the hooplah is about. The book was written by E.L. James as a work of Twilight fanfiction and went viral — it’s even going to be turned into a movie. So, you know I’m all over this Funny or Die parody, featuring Selena Gomez reading “Fifty Shades of Blue.”
I’m kind of loving that Selena is actually pretty funny, plus she manages to pull off the sexual undertones of the book while being tasteful. After reading a few chapters of the erotic novel, Selena is attracted to the grimey painter that paints her walls sky blue. The overall-wearing painter doesn’t cover his mouth when he coughs and scoops out belly lint right in front of her.
Meanwhile, a turned on Selena silently watches him paint from the corner, gnawing on his paint swatches like they’re dog bones and nearly drawing blood after biting her lip. Ultimately, she manages to creep out the creepiest guy ever.
Watch it here:
