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Rant ‘N Rave: Parents of Celebrities

Irene Ogrodnik — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 16:52:53 +0000

Granted, parenthood is complex. Children need unconditional love, stability and guidance.

When parents fail to provide any of those needs, you end up with the childhood version of Drew Barrymore.

Based on the number of celebs who have entered rehab in recent years, it’s obvious that more than a handful have some loose screws. While many blame a star’s inability to adjust to a lifestyle of fame and fortune for their problems, perhaps more responsibility should be placed on those who have raised them.

Before you leave me a 500-word thrashing on how I must not understand the difficulties of parenthood, realize that I am not claiming that any parent of a celebrity is a horrible person—just someone in vital need of re-evaluating their very questionable parenting skills.

Without further ado, here are parents of celebrities who, like many of their children, need some mental help:

Dina Lohan:

I never thought I would say these words together in a sentence, but here it goes:

Poor Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay can somewhat blame her out-of-control behaviour on two people in her life. Her parents. But while Lindsay easily points the finger of blame at her alleged abusive father, there is one guilty party she tends to overlook.

Her mother. Dina fame-whore Lohan.

There’s something to be said about a mother who, without her daughter’s approval, hired ‘Entertainment Tonight’ cameramen to follow her visit to the drug rehabilitation centre where Lindsay was receiving “treatment.” Dina also uses her other daughter, fifteen-year-old Ali, to star on their reality show ‘Living Lohan.’ After watching just a few episodes, it’s clear that Dina uses her daughter’s doomed-to-fail career to progress her own.

But it doesn’t stop there.

When Dina is not capitalizing on either daughter’s fame, reports claim she’s out partying and drinking. I can now see why Dina won the Long Island “Mother of the

Year” award back in 2008. Who else was in the running for the title? Courtney Love? You know, the mother who allegedly shot heroin while pregnant with daughter Francis Bean?

So how does Dina (the woman who takes credit for every (rare) good decision Lindsay makes yet denies involvement in every bad choice) expect her daughter to succeed in rehab treatment she receives when she acts out in the exact same uncontrollable way?

While I refuse to absolve Lindsay of any responsibility for her actions, I feel a slight compassion for her knowing that Dina is acting more like a (crappy) best friend than a mother.

Michael Lohan:

There’s no need to state why Michael Lohan will not be winning a “Father of the Year” award anytime soon. But I’m positive that his suspected domestic abusive past or the fact that he’s been in prison more than once doesn’t make him qualify. Then again, stranger things have happened (refer to “Dina won the Long Island ‘Mother of the Year’ award” comment above for further explanation).

Joe Simpson:

The father of Jessica Simpson and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz surely knows how to creep people out.

From his inappropriate comments about his Jessica’s sexiness and size of breasts (The whole “She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!” 2004 GQ magazine interview quote is permanently and painfully burned into my memory) to his overall control of Jessica’s lifestyle, Joe needs to back down and spend time AWAY from his daughters. Even though she is 28, Joe barely allows Jessica out of his sight. I suddenly have an uncomfortable feeling that Joe must’ve attended Jessica’s wedding night with Nick Lachey—just to make sure that she was okay. How romantic.

Lynne Spears:

While Lynne Spears states that she was not a pushy “stage mom” when it came to her daughter’s career, I have a difficult time buying into her claims. I doubt that any child, regardless of how much they want to achieve fame, crave the daily lifestyle that Britney had to endure at her age in the showbiz.

While Lynne appears to have better intentions for her children than Dina Lohan, it is difficult to truly understand her parenting skills (considering both her children have babies and unpredictable/unstable relationships with men).

Linda Hogan:

I have nothing against women dating younger men. But Linda’s relationship with a 19-year-old boy is not the same. When a parent dates a student from their child’s yearbook class page, red flags need to go up. Then again, the rest of the Hogan family lacks a record of smart life decisions (Hulk Hogan’s comment about “totally” understanding disgraced football player O.J Simpson takes the cake).

Eddie Murphy To Headline Richard Pryor Biopic

Eva Lam — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 18:46:26 +0000

Eddie Murphy will play Richard Pryor in a biopic from “Dreamgirls” director Bill Condon.

According to Entertainment Weekly, Murphy, who used to do impressions of the legendary comic in his standup routines, has signed on to star in “Richard Pryor: Is It Something I Said?”

The biopic will cover, among other things, Pryor’s four marriages, his friendship with fellow comedian Red Foxx and his struggles with drugs and alcohol.

Pryor previously gave audiences a glimpse into his life with the 1986 semi-autographical tale “Jo Jo Dancer, Your Life Is Calling,” which he directed and starred in.

The comedian passed away from a heart attack in 2005 at the age of 65.

Eddie Murphy Is ‘Beverly Hills Cop’ Again

Eva Lam — Sat, 31 May 2008 15:53:42 +0000

Fresh off the success of the “Indiana Jones” revival, another film franchise is set to make a long-awaited comeback.

Eddie Murphy will star in a fourth “Beverly Hills Cop” movie, 14 years after he last played wisecracking police detective Axel Foley.

According to Variety, it was Murphy who approached Paramount Pictures about reviving the action-comedy series, which follows the adventures of a Detroit cop (Murphy) who winds up fighting crime in Los Angeles.

The studio is in negotiations with Brett Ratner, director of the “Rush Hour” movies, to take the helm on this latest project.

The movie is expected to begin filming next year for a summer 2010 release.

The “Beverly Hills Cop” series launched in 1984 and was followed by two sequels, the last of which hit theatres in 1994. They have collectively grossed more than $735 million US worldwide, according to Box Office Mojo.

Murphy, 47, recently starred in the comedy “Norbit” and voiced Donkey in “Shrek the Third.”

Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds Call it Quits

andPOP Staff — Thu, 17 Jan 2008 23:24:53 +0000

Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds have officially split – after only two weeks.

According to E! Online, one of the major reasons for the breakup was that Edmonds would not take Murphy’s last name.

“[Murphy] was insisting she change her name,” a source told E! Online. “It was a huge issue. They were arguing about it before they left for the wedding.”

Murphy and Edmonds were wed on New Year’s Day on a private island off Bora Bora, but it was not legally binding.

“After much consideration and discussion, we have jointly decided that we will forego having a legal ceremony as it is not necessary to define our relationship further,” Murphy and Edmonds said in a joint statement on Wednesday. “While the recent symbolic union in Bora Bora was representative of our deep love, friendship and respect that we have for one another on a spiritual level, we have decided to remain friends.”

Murphy, 46, and Edmonds, 40, started dating in the fall of 2006, and got engaged last July.

Movie Review: Norbit

andPOP Staff — Sat, 10 Feb 2007 13:58:35 +0000

The origins of Black History Month can be traced back to 1926 when Dr. Carter G. Woodson sought to bring black history and culture into the forefront of social consciousness. Since then, February has been a month about achievements and the ongoing struggle to move forward into equality — which is why it’s so terribly ironic that Eddie Murphy’s latest comical blunder, Norbit, should premier in such a significant month for African-Americans.

This movie is an unimaginative amalgamation of cultural stereotypes that a 10-year-old with MTV could have written, directed and starred in. Norbit delivers no originality, little comedy, and no memorable acting performances; suffice to say, don’t expect this on any Oscar lists.

Let’s have a quick look at the characters in Norbit:

Norbit (Eddie Murphy). A meek and whiny man who’s controlled by his over-bearing wife.

Rasputia (Eddie Murphy). Norbit’s writers must have been salivating with this character — the ability to humiliate African-Americans and fat people at the same time doesn’t come along every day. The furniture-destroying, rib-loving Dr. Phil fan, Rasputia, is a joke of a character — think Big Momma’s House meets Flavor Of Love.

Mr. Wong (Eddie Murphy). Watching Mr. Wrong, purveyor of the “Golden Won Ton” restaurant and orphanage, I couldn’t help but be reminded of Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story. In the Lee movie, there’s a scene where Bruce Lee (Jason Scott Lee) is looking up at a TV that’s playing Breakfast at Tiffany’s, and the buck-toothed, squinty-eyed Mr. Yunioshi (one of the most notoriously racist characters in movie history, as played by Mickey Rooney) appears — for only one purpose, to be laughed at. Not because there’s anything funny going on, or any innovative jokes, but because he’s Asian. Bruce Lee, as I recall, is very angered by this, and it serves as fuel in his desire to show the world he’s not just some goofy Asian. I’d imagine Mr. Wong will end up the 2007 equivalent of Mr. Yunioshi for some beleaguered Asian kid. Some of Mr. Wong’s more memorable moments include saying something to the effect of “Brack run fast, but probrems faster,” in his best schoolyard Asian accent, and exclaiming that no one wants black children by saying he “can’t give away black babies.”

Kate (Thandie Newton). In what has to be one of the biggest let-downs of the movie, Thandie Newton delivers a terrible (and I mean terrible) performance as Norbit’s fantasy love-interest, Kate. Especially after such a stellar contribution to Crash, it’s very confusing to watch her turn in a performance that reeked of high-school drama class. However, in all fairness to Thandie Newton, Norbit’s script is dreadful.

Big Jack (Terry Crews). Big Jack and his gang of muscle-bound, pea-brained toughs are yet another accomplishment in Norbit’s contributions to African-American culture.

Deion (Cuba Gooding Jr.). I can’t say I’m disappointed with Cuba in this role. I would first have to have some kind of heightened expectations and confidence in his acting ability, and I do not. His character, however, is a gold-digging liar. Are you keeping track here with me? So far we have a weak pushover of a man, a foul-mouthed giant of a woman, a gang of dumb, muscle-bound bullies, a lying gold-digger… all that’s left to run the gamut of African-American stereotypes is a pimp.

Pope Sweet Jesus (Eddie Griffin). He and his pimp sidekick, Lord Have Mercy, are one of the only legitimately entertaining aspects of this movie. And really it just boils down to one thing: Eddie Griffin. Not unfamiliar with playing a pimp, Griffin has the moves and delivery to be funny in whatever role he’s put in. You can even see Thandie Newton laughing on a number of occasions as it appears as if Griffin and his sidekick work some improv material into the movie.

As a society, are we not yet tired of these kinds of movies? It seems a new one pops up every month, with the same bland jokes and the same dangerous cultural undertones. These kinds of movies add nothing to the film culture, or our society as a whole. I took a friend to the pre-screening, and had a quick chat with her about the problems facing the film industry. And how — right now — there is a writer/director sitting at his home in California with a dynamite script and movie idea… but he can’t find a producer to make it. He doesn’t have the connections, but he does have a good product. At the same time, however, Norbits are churned out with sickening regularity because of the attached washed-up hacks willing to degredate themselves and their culture to add some weight to their wallet.

As a final blow in this movie’s childish, unprofessional nature, my friend who accompanied me noticed, on at least two occasions, the boom mic – fully visible – in the top part of the screen. If that doesn’t speak to the pathetic attempt at film-making inherent in all aspects of Norbit, I don’t know what does.

With the boom mic incidents in mind, I have no choice but to quote the high school principal in Billy Madison, “I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

0*/5*

James Brown Wanted Murphy To Play Him

andPOP Staff — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 14:30:14 +0000

EDDIE MURPHY is hoping to give director SPIKE LEE an easy solution to his search for a movie JAMES BROWN – the soul legend always wanted the actor to play him in a biopic.

Murphy, who picked up a Screen Actors Guild Award for his portrayal as Brown-esque JAMES ‘THUNDER’ EARLY in DREAMGIRLS on Sunday night, insists Lee should look no further for the perfect Godfather of Soul – it’s him.

The SHREK star says, “James Brown said to me years ago, ‘If they ever do my life, you got to play my story.’

“I said, ‘James, if I do you, people will be laughing.’ (He said) ‘They ain’t gonna laugh if you don’t try to be funny.’”

But Murphy accepts he might be too old to play Brown in his heyday: “I couldn’t do James Brown now until he got to 40, ’cause I’m 45. I’ll be 46 in April and I’m not doin’ no splits and no s**t like that, and rippin’ my a** out tryin’ to make no movie. The split days are gone.”

Lee announced recently he is on the hunt for an actor to play James Brown in a biopic he’s making with top producer BRIAN GRAZER.

Eddie Murphy in Norbit: Gags and E-Card

andPOP Staff — Fri, 26 Jan 2007 02:04:21 +0000

Eddie Murphy’s next film, “Norbit,” hits theatres on Feb. 9.

Murphy stars in this comedy and, as usual, plays many different characters. Eddie Murphy is Norbit, a man forced into an engagement with the obscene, junk-food-chugging Rasputia (also played by Murphy). Then Norbit’s childhood sweetheart Kate (Thandie Newton) moves back to town, and Norbit tries to get out of Rasputia’s clutches.

Exclusive behind-the-scenes gag reel: Check it out

“Norbit” E-Card: Check that out

Scary Spice Says It’s No Question Eddie Murphy Is Father Of Her Child

andPOP Staff — Fri, 08 Dec 2006 12:31:04 +0000

If Eddie Murphy wasn’t afraid of Scary Spice before, he should be now. Former Spice Girl Melanie Brown is pregnant and says Murphy is the father. But the actor has told the media that he’s not so sure.

And Brown is not pleased. In a statement released Thursday by her publicist, Nadine Bibi, Brown said “I am obviously upset and distressed at some of the comments made by Eddie Murphy to the media.

“I have no idea why anybody would want to conduct themselves in this kind of manner about such a personal matter in such a public way,” she continued. “My main concern is for the well-being of my daughter, Phoenix, and of course the baby. I was astonished what Eddie said. There is absolutely no question that Eddie is the father.”

In a recent TV interview to promote his upcoming film “Dreamgirls,” Murphy was asked whether he was excited about Brown’s pregnancy.

“Now you’re being presumptuous because we’re not together anymore,” he replied. “And I don’t know whose child that is until it comes out and has a blood test. You shouldn’t jump to conclusions, sir.”

Murphy seems to have a new woman in his life, film producer Tracey Edmonds, whom he took to the “Dreamgirls” premiere earlier this week. Edmonds is quoted as saying to People magazine that she and Murphy have been dating for over a month now.

Beverly Hills Cop Returns!

andPOP Staff — Mon, 04 Dec 2006 19:20:13 +0000

Eddie Murphy has signed on to return to the role of Axel Foley for a fourth Beverly Hills Cop flick.

Paramount Studios confirmed last Thursday that Murphy had signed on with the project, E! Online reports.

No director has been named for the film, while writers are currently being finalized.

The first two installments of the series, from 1984 and 1987, were hugely successful. But the most recent addition, 1994’s “Beverly Hills Cop III,” bombed at the box office.

Producer Lorenzo de Bonaventura hopes to reverse the trend.

“Axel Foley is one of the great action-comedy characters, a character that Eddie loves. I’m lucky enough to help bring it back,” he told Daily Variety. “This genre is missing from the landscape.”

Eddie Murphy’s Wife Files for Divorce

andPOP Staff — Sat, 06 Aug 2005 13:33:53 +0000

Eddie Murphy’s wife has filed for divorce.

Nicole Murphy cited irreconcilable differences in papers filed with the Los Angeles Superior Court as the cause.
The couple has been separated since July.

“The welfare of our children is our main concern, and their best interest is our first priority,” Eddie Murphy, 44, said in a statement released through his publicist, Paul Bloch.

Married for twelve years, the Murphy’s have five children, ages three to 15. Eddie also had one child from a previous relationship.

According to Extra, Nicole is seeking custody of the children and is seeking spousal support.

She has hired famed divorce attorney Neal Hersh, who has represented Brad Pitt and Kim Basinger in previous divorce cases.