After writing oh so many columns on clothes, I thought that it?s about time to write about an often overlooked aspect of fashion: hair styling.

I feel that it?s my duty to address this serious issue after being traumatized by bad dye job after even bad-der dye jobs (and I?m just plain tired of saying, ?Oh God?uh?I love what you did with your hair??).

Guys, just because certain dye jobs works on women does not mean it?ll work on you. I think women look good in A-line skirts, want to give that a try as well?

First of all, when a girl with pale skin dyes her red or brown hair platinum blonde (like Nicole Kidman or Gwen Stefani) it looks very ethereal and angelic. When a guy with pale skin dyes his brown or black hair platinum blonde, he looks like an albino or some extra in a ?80s German art film.

So let?s break this down for all you guys out there so you don?t get that ?I?ve just been in a chemical spill? look:

If your natural hair is black, go for dark brown.

If your natural hair is blonde or brown, go for a lighter brown or a dirty blonde.

If your hair is red, keep it. It?s unique; just don?t use Ronald McDonald or Carrot Top as your guide.

Generally, go a few shades darker or lighter than your natural hair colour. At least by doing so it?ll be less visible when those stubborn roots show. Remember, a good dye job is when people cannot tell that you dyed your hair.

Now as a Chinese guy, I?m very familiar with the ?fob? (Fresh Off the Boat) trend where Asian guys and girls would opt for platinum blonde hair. I know that having naturally black hair is very limiting to dye options but must you subject your beautiful thick hair to this monstrosity of a hairdo in an attempt to give a virtual screw you to genetics? Even so, if you are going blonde, at least do it right. Simply bleaching your hair just makes it orange and frizzy. You have to dye it blonde afterwards, people! Do it before the heavy bleaching makes you go bald. On the bright side, at least by then you won?t have the hair to fug up.

If you do have black hair and are fed up with constantly being a brunette, try dying your hair a very dark tint of blue or purple. When the light hits your hair, you can just see a slick sheen of mauve or navy. It?ll look natural without saying, ?I just mugged a rodeo clown?. Don?t dye your hair in any shade of green, it?ll come off as having fallen in the sewer or that your hair is growing moss like a three-toed sloth.

Those people in those Clairol ?streaking? parties must be serving lots of alcohol because you can?t possibly think that those streaks look good while sober. What have I said before people? Dye jobs must look natural! Blonde streaks on brown hair is bad! Red streaks on black hair is bad! Black streaks on blonde hair is bad! I absolutely grind my teeth when I see girls butcher their beautiful blonde hair with black highlights (with one inch blonde roots showing, of course) and believe that it makes them look hardcore punk. Um yes, you?re the toughest chica this side of the food court.

And dying your blonde hair brown does not mean that you?ll be smarter or taken more seriously. Two words: Ashlee Simpson.

However, with anything in fashion, not all rules are written in stone (with the exception of absolutely no tapering or pleats on pants and jeans). A friend of mine dyed the front of his black hair a bright pink and it looks great. He had the spunky, charismatic personality to pull it off. That?s the key thing, many risqu? fashion choices (such as thick rimmed nerd glasses, pink shirts and argyle) depend on your attitude and that certain, untraceable ?it? factor where something would appear fantastic without explanation. That being said, it does appear that this whole article has been pointless dribble (Ah crap, not again!) but stick to those tips mentioned above before experimenting with wacky (and often tacky) hair colours. Baby steps, people, baby steps.