Granted, parenthood is complex.  Children need unconditional love, stability and guidance. 

When parents fail to provide any of those needs, you end up with the childhood version of Drew Barrymore.

Based on the number of celebs who have entered rehab in recent years, it’s obvious that more than a handful have some loose screws. While many blame a star’s inability to adjust to a lifestyle of fame and fortune for their problems, perhaps more responsibility should be placed on those who have raised them.

Before you leave me a 500-word thrashing on how I must not understand the difficulties of parenthood, realize that I am not claiming that any parent of a celebrity is a horrible person—just someone in vital need of re-evaluating their very questionable parenting skills.

Without further ado, here are parents of celebrities who, like many of their children, need some mental help:

Dina Lohan:

I never thought I would say these words together in a sentence, but here it goes:

Poor Lindsay Lohan.

Lindsay can somewhat blame her out-of-control behaviour on two people in her life. Her parents. But while Lindsay easily points the finger of blame at her alleged abusive father, there is one guilty party she tends to overlook.

Her mother. Dina fame-whore Lohan.

There’s something to be said about a mother who, without her daughter’s approval, hired ‘Entertainment Tonight’ cameramen to follow her visit to the drug rehabilitation centre where Lindsay was receiving “treatment.” Dina also uses her other daughter, fifteen-year-old Ali, to star on their reality show ‘Living Lohan.’ After watching just a few episodes, it’s clear that Dina uses her daughter’s doomed-to-fail career to progress her own.

But it doesn’t stop there.

When Dina is not capitalizing on either daughter’s fame, reports claim she’s out partying and drinking. I can now see why Dina won the Long Island “Mother of the

Year” award back in 2008. Who else was in the running for the title? Courtney Love? You know, the mother who allegedly shot heroin while pregnant with daughter Francis Bean?

So how does Dina (the woman who takes credit for every (rare) good decision Lindsay makes yet denies involvement in every bad choice) expect her daughter to succeed in rehab treatment she receives when she acts out in the exact same uncontrollable way?

While I refuse to absolve Lindsay of any responsibility for her actions, I feel a slight compassion for her knowing that Dina is acting more like a (crappy) best friend than a mother.

Michael Lohan:

There’s no need to state why Michael Lohan will not be winning a “Father of the Year” award anytime soon. But I’m positive that his suspected domestic abusive past or the fact that he’s been in prison more than once doesn’t make him qualify. Then again, stranger things have happened (refer to “Dina won the Long Island ‘Mother of the Year’ award” comment above for further explanation).

Joe Simpson:

The father of Jessica Simpson and Ashlee Simpson-Wentz surely knows how to creep people out.

From his inappropriate comments about his Jessica’s sexiness and size of breasts (The whole “She’s got double D’s! You can’t cover those suckers up!” 2004 GQ magazine interview quote is permanently and painfully burned into my memory) to his overall control of Jessica’s lifestyle, Joe needs to back down and spend time AWAY from his daughters. Even though she is 28, Joe barely allows Jessica out of his sight. I suddenly have an uncomfortable feeling that Joe must’ve attended Jessica’s wedding night with Nick Lachey—just to make sure that she was okay. How romantic.

Lynne Spears:

While Lynne Spears states that she was not a pushy “stage mom” when it came to her daughter’s career, I have a difficult time buying into her claims. I doubt that any child, regardless of how much they want to achieve fame, crave the daily lifestyle that Britney had to endure at her age in the showbiz.

While Lynne appears to have better intentions for her children than Dina Lohan, it is difficult to truly understand her parenting skills (considering both her children have babies and unpredictable/unstable relationships with men).

Linda Hogan:

I have nothing against women dating younger men. But Linda’s relationship with a 19-year-old boy is not the same. When a parent dates a student from their child’s yearbook class page, red flags need to go up.  Then again, the rest of the Hogan family lacks a record of smart life decisions (Hulk Hogan’s comment about “totally” understanding disgraced football player O.J Simpson takes the cake).

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3. Lindsay Lohan’s Secret Sister?

Lindsay Lohan and “friend” Samantha Ronson were seen entering Century City Hospital on Thursday night.

Although Linday’s rep initially told press that the young star went to the hospital to visit a friend, mom Dina Lohan told “People” magazine that her daughter was having an asthma attack.

“She was losing oxygen. She couldn’t breathe,” said Dina Lohan.

“She was afraid to go the hospital because [the paparazzi] were gonna write about it. She was sick. If you were sick, and you’re mother couldn’t even take you to a hospital because paparazzi will fabricate some story, you know, it’s sad. It’s really sad.”

Related posts:

1. Lindsay Lohan in Another Car Accident
2. Mom Defends Lindsay Lohan’s Tardiness
3. Lindsay Lohan Out of Hospital

It must be love: little by little, Lindsay Lohan isn’t really hiding her relationship with Samantha Ronson any more.

The New York Post reports that Lohan and the celebrity DJ – who is openly gay – are moving in together.

This news comes after Lohan and Ronson have been on a romantic European getaway, and were even caught on camera in a sweet embrace on Sean Combs’ yacht in Cannes. Lohan has also been seen sporting a diamond encrusted ring on her left ring finger, sparking rumours that the two are engaged.

Both Lohan’s mother and her younger sister, Aliana, have released a statement claiming that Lindsay is not a lesbian.

Several magazines are apparently offering Lohan a huge check if she will come out to them exclusively.

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2. Lindsay Lohan Needs Time
3. Lindsay Lohan Busts Breast Rumours via MySpace