Kids, sit down and let me tell you about a band name Creed. The American rock band was popular in the late 1990s and early 2000s but their fans are a dying species.
Meet Chad Fuck. He’s the last Creed fan in the world. He’s unemployed, has a jungle cat tattoo on his back and is “just a huge fan of Creed.”
The Zoological Society has a duty to defend all endangered species. Since most Creed fans killed themselves after their temporary breakup or died due to other factors, Chad is the only surviving fan, says Dr. Chen Horkel, a person of science.
Their last hope of maintaining the endangered species was to breed Chad, however, most specimens were completely disgusted in his music taste and wouldn’t procreate.
Then, something miraculous happened. Horkel found the only surviving Nickelback fan, who happened to be female. It shouldn’t have worked, but soon after discovering their similarly awful taste in music the new couple introduced the first Creed/Nickelback cub.
“There’s no way of knowing what the future holds,” says Horkel. “But at least we know we’ve done all we can to try to preserve the species. And that is something we feel good about.”
Watch Inside Look: The Last Creed Fan here:
While we are keeping our ear to the ground for Lana Del Rey’s debut album, “Born to Die” and the full length from Azealia Banks, there are some artists we really wish would quit while they’re ahead.
As posted on Cracked, here are the 7 least anticipated albums of 2012.
7. Insane Clown Posse – “The Might Death Pop!”
6. Scorpion – “Comeback”
5. Adam Lambert – “Trespassing”
4. Willow Smith – “Willow: You Think You Know Me”
3. Bret Michaels – “Get Your Rock On”
2. Marilyn Manson – “Born Villian”
1. Scott Stapp – “Somewhere in the Middle of Love and Lust”
For the most part, sequels of any medium, be they film, novel or video game, have a few important items to address on a checklist: better developed characters, a more enticing story, new locations, and most importantly, a sense of polish and completeness that the original, while perhaps something new and unique, was unable to be fully realized for any number of reasons.
Assassin’s Creed II manages to not only address all of these issues, but manages to throw out the entire list and make you wonder just how far the inevitable sequel will be able to go from this point.
Anyone familiar with the first Assassin’s Creed is aware of the ongoing war between the Assassins and the Templars. The story picks up immediately where the first game left off, with you starting out in the shoes of Desmond Miles. Luckily, this is quickly rectified, and you are whisked away to the Renaissance, landing in the middle of 15th century Italy. Immediately, the sense of history, structure and life that flows through the city streets is instantly believable, immersing you in the reality of the game world. Merchants sweep the walkways in front of their stores, businessmen walk the streets with an entourage in tow, all the while engaged in private conversations. Doctors and artists hawk their wares to the passing crowds, some of who even stop in for a quick peek before returning to their chore of the moment. The cities feel alive in a way that the first game lacked, and each character walking the streets is unique – very rarely will you see a repeat costume or face in the same block of cobblestone walkways.
What helps to bring these vistas to life is the fantastic musical score. From haunting melodies to angelic choirs, the music fits the scenery as well as the action throughout the entire world. Attempting to scale to the top of a church tower results in both an uplifting and equally haunting rise in the score, making the sequence feel scripted, even though you are in complete control of when and where you choose to start climbing, or even if you decided halfway up to perform a swan dive into a conveniently-placed ox-cart; and even then, the sound design doesn’t fail. Dive off a high enough ledge, and you hear the wind whistle past your ears, and your clothes begin to flutter faster and harder the longer you fall. It is this attention to detail that helps fully realize the world in which Ezio lives, and immerses you in a way that few other games have been able to do. Read more…
Former CREED frontman SCOTT STAPP has reached a settlement in his lawsuit over a 1999 sex tape featuring the rocker and ex-pal KID ROCK romping with four groupies.
In February 2006, adult film company World Wide Red Light District acquired a copy of the raunchy footage, filmed during a Miami, Florida stop of the musicians’ joint tour, and announced plans to release it.
Kid Rock, real name ROBERT RITCHIE, immediately obtained a temporary ban on the distribution of the sex tape, claiming Stapp was the last person to have possession of the video.
On Friday, Stapp, 33, settled his invasion of privacy suit against WW Red Light District, who have agreed to withhold the tape from distribution.
The firm also admitted they did not hold the rights to the recording.
Stapp’s lawyer WILLIAM SAYEGH refused to disclose the terms of the agreement, but said it was “in Scott Stapp’s favour.”
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