The latest news that isn’t really “news” and isn’t really recent either, is that Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy broke up a while ago. Taylor, 22, and Conor, 18, broke up after a few months of dating, according to a close friend of Taylor’s, who told US Weekly. “It was just a distance thing. No hard feelings. They’re fine,” the friend said.

Breakups can be hard on the people involved but sometimes it can be tough for the zillions of fans too — especially when the said person sends you on whirlwinds of emotions after every breakup and new romance. If you’re having an especially tough time dealing with this one, we created a handy list of strategies that might help you recover. Except, you should never actually do them because NONE OF THESE TIPS will help you. Like ever. Except maybe the last one…

1. Tweet about your intense sorrow with the hashtag #TaylorKennedySplit or #ShameConor2012. Enlist other fans to grieve with you. 

2. Trek to the most remote part of the Himalayas with your guitar, let your teardrops fall on your guitar and offer it as a sacrifice. Then wish on a wishing star that she’ll find love again.

3. Lock your bedroom door and spend all night drafting lyrics to a song for her next album. This breakup anthem will be called “Dear Conor” OBVS. 

4. If you go into remission after their breakup, take the 100 percent scientific Taylor Swift breakup meter from her perspective. Then assure yourself that they’re never ever getting back together. Like ever. Here’s the chart: Read more…

Let’s hope Conor Kennedy and Taylor Swift are long term.  Because despite reports that Swift didn’t really buy a mansion near the Kennedys,  TMZ is reporting otherwise.

According to the site, the singer has spent $4.5 million on a mansion  right across the street from Ethel Kennedy, Conor’s grandmother.  The crib is said to include seven bedrooms, six baths, its own private beach and an acre of land.

While this may all seem very frivolous, the singer has already gotten approval from everyone in the Kennedy clan.

Conor’s uncle, Patrick Kennedy previously said,“We love Taylor Swift … she’s been a great friend and we’re happy for Conor. If she wants to be in the family, she’s already a part of it.”

Also adding to the praise was Ethel. “I’m happy that we’ll be neighbors. I’m thrilled,” she said.

“She is just spectacular. She is just sensational … she’s very kind. You know what she really is? She’s game. She had never sailed before, she sailed. She had never gone dragging before, she dragged … she played everything that everyone else was doing [with] no fuss.”

Well, if this is really the case…let’s hope things go super well.

But even if it doesn’t, Swift could always write a song called, “I AM NEVER EVER GOING TO MOVE FOR YOU AGAIN” and make us guess who it’s about.

Taylor Swift and Pinterest are basically the two main factors that raise the expectations of young people today. Over the past two days, Taylor Swift has made us all look within and consider our lives as a whole. Let me count the ways that Taylor has raised our expectations:

1. She just released an awesome new breakup anthem called “We Are Never Getting Back Together” and announced that her new album Red is coming out on Oct. 22.

2. She is dating a Kennedy. Swift’s budding romance with 18-year-old Conor Kennedy has been going on for months now, though they really blew up after being spotted at the so-called Kennedy Compound over the July 4th weekend. She’s also buddy buddy with his grandmother Ethel.

3. The newest news is that Taylor bought a house — nay, mansion — that’s mere feet away from the Kennedy Compound in Hyannis Port MA, on Cape Cod. According to People, Swift spent $4.9 million for a 13-bedroom home. Steal of a deal.

This is possible for anyone to do, right? Oh, no? Drat.

Check out the photos below: