By Jasmine Williams
On tonight’s finale, tears were almost shed at the thought of Nick moving out of the apartment to move in with his old girlfriend Caroline in their brand new place. Also, there’s trouble in paradise with Cece and Schmidt when jealousy rears its ugly head. But in true New Girl fashion, the episode ends with a rad pajama dance party.
Here’s what I learned on last night’s New Girl episode, “See Ya.”
1) Nick is leaving. For real. As in we’re only five minutes into the episode and the moving truck is packed and everything. But Jess isn’t so sure that he should go, Winston is scared of the dark without Nick’s lamp, and the new roommate has a creature in a box so that should be enough of a reason for Nick to never, ever leave.
2) Schmidt freaked out at Cece’s photo-shoot and turned into a metrosexual jealous monster. And when Cece tries to talk to him about it, it turns out that he feels that he’s not good enough for her and that she would never be happy with him. He even tries to set her free like a wild jungle cat kept in a basement. It doesn’t go over well. Hopefully this isn’t the end of Ce-Schmidt.
3) Nick freaks out over moving in with Caroline and drives about 140 miles past his new apartment. But luckily, a phone call from her calms him down. Unluckily, this occurs a couple seconds after he throws his keys into the desert. Definitely not the best timing. But the gang comes to the rescue to help him out. Read more…
By Jasmine Williams
Jess is the new Monica Lewinsky, and Cece and Schmidt are talking about the “C” word, that’s right guys, ‘commitment.’ Also, Winston’s rocking a really weird earring and the obligatory jokes are pretty much the comedic highlight of the show.
Here’s what I learned on this week’s New Girl, “Backslide.”
1) Jess is in a funk after breaking up with Russell. It’s a lot of the same sad Joni Mitchell song, lying on a carpet and roommates trying (and failing) at cheering her up. Luckily, it works just enough to get her out of her room so we don’t have to be subjected to the sight of seeing Caroline booty pop any longer.
2) Backsliding. It’s a condition that occurs post break-up, when you go crawling back to your ex and make everything messier than it was before. You want to avoid this by any means necessary. Playing keep-away with someone’s phone may be one of these means. Thank you Schmidt for improving my vocabulary, one made-up word at a time. Read more…
By Jasmine Williams
Cece has a pregnancy scare which has Schmidt dreaming of little Mordecais in his head. While it turns out that she wasn’t actually pregnant, it makes me wonder what’s next for these two. Will Cece ever admit that she actually has feelings for Schmidt? And now that there’s no baby-on-board, was Schmidt’s almost-proposal just an impulse, or are there wedding bells in their future?
Here’s what I learned from last night’s New Girl, “Kids.”
1) Cece appropriately freaks out over the possibility that she might be carrying the spawn of Schmidt. While she may be harbouring secret feelings for our resident douchebag, she’s certainly not ready to be a mother.
2) Jess agrees to babysit Russell’s daughter Sara for the day and although she’s a teacher, she’s not so used to dealing with kids in this way. She tries to turn the day into an opportunity to teach her all about Italy, but preteen Sara is more interested in Jess’ bras and what she has and hasn’t done with her father. Oh and what she’s done with Nick, who the kid develops a massive crush on in a matter of minutes. Read more…
By Jasmine Williams
Cece and Schmidt are officially on the house’s radar, but I can’t help but miss the secrecy surrounding their relationship and the thrill of the two of them almost getting caught. Now, hearing the two openly talk about their sexual adventures and seeing them walking around in bed sheets and towels is getting a little TMI, in my opinion.
Also, when is Nick going to get a major storyline? After his break-up with lawyer Julia, he’s been like a lost puppy and his man crush on Russell is getting creepy. Dude needs a hobby or something.
Anyways, here’s what I learned on last night’s New Girl, “Normal.”
1) Jess hasn’t gone home in a week now that she’s spending all her time with her older man Russell. Go Jess! Only she can bring a guy to his knees by seductively announcing she’s wearing his boxer briefs under her dress. But wait, doesn’t she have a job? She seems to have a lot of free time for a school teacher.
2) Jess realizes after her luxurious mini-vacay with Russell in his fancy rich world that he’s never stayed over at her rundown apartment, with her three, quirky-is-an-understatement male roommates. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing? She invites him over anyway and warns the guys to be on their best behaviour, but of course, it turns into a disaster. Read more…
By Jasmine Williams
Here’s how the secret spills: Winston blabbers to Nick, then Nick’s back starts sweating, then Jess forces the weakling to tell her the secret. Now everybody knows that Cece and Schmidt are hooking up! I’ve been waiting so long for this reveal and it didn’t disappoint. The best part was seeing Schmidt righteously grinning the entire time now that he can admit he’s getting the most action in the apartment. Win for Schmidt!
Anyway, here are five things I learned on last night’s episode of New Girl, “Secrets.”
1) Jess isn’t a fan of secrets. Understandably, she’s unimpressed that her BFF hid a secret for two months and she’s the last to know. In true awkward fashion, she literally runs away from Cece when she sees her and hides in a truck.
2) Serial monogamist Nick has been having one-night-stands with barely-legals. Sounds like a decent (albeit sleazy) situation, but he’s having trouble giving them the morning brush-off since he’s a bad liar and can’t keep a secret to save his life. He hits a new low when he asks Schmidt, now the master douchebag, for some lady help. Can’t lie, the role-play scenes between these two were quite convincing.
3) Jess wants to forbid all past and future secrets. But when she tries to open a dialogue with the guys, she ends up finding out that everyone in the house has “self-completed” while thinking of her. Yup, that’s going to make sharing a bathroom a little awkward.
Watch it here:
4) Winston taps into his inner gospel preacher and becomes the melodic voice of reason of Apartment 4D. He stops two of Nick’s hook-ups from killing each other over a left-behind circle scarf and prevents Jess from doing pretty much the same with Cece. Meanwhile, Schmidt’s still smiling like he can’t believe his luck. Neither can we, dude.
5) CeCe likes Schmidt! CeCe likes Schmidt! And nobody knows except for Jess. How the tables have turned!
By: Jasmine Williams
Is anybody else getting tired with Jess’ “I’m so socially awkward” act? It hit a new level of annoying in this episode with her whining over her rich, new boyfriend. I feel like she should walk a mile in Nick’s shoes, he’s legitimately pathetic right now.
But in other (more exciting) news, somebody (i.e. Winston) has finally found out about CeCe and Schmidt! And it involved him finding them practically mid-coitus in the back of Schmidt’s SUV and almost getting arrested by US border police. Really, would we have it any other way?
Here’s what I learned on last night’s New Girl “Fancyman Part 2.”
1) Nick has a law school friend staying over at the apartment who sexually harasses Jess and CeCe, demeans Schmidt and completes a downward dog in the span of three minutes. He also hits on undergrads. Ladies and gentleman, we have a new record for douchebaggery!
2) CeeCee is willing to be Schmidt’s sex-cretary to distract Schmidt from his work and seduce him. Seems like things are getting serious between these two if rented costumes are involved. And I now know that Schmidt has nicknamed her boobs “Harold and Kumar.” TMI.
3) Winston owns the entire Wicked soundtrack. And sings along alone in his car. To ALL of the songs. He also steals his Schmidt’s car to drive to Mexico to see his girlfriend. While I approve of his musical taste (Idina Menzel is fabulous as Elphaba), I’m not sure if the gesture is cute or creepy/stalker-like.
5) CeCe would rather sit in Schmidt’s urine than admit that they’re boinking. But she’s forced to admit it to Winston when they get caught in Schmidt’s trunk by a customs officer in a rather compromising position. Winston’s still in shock.
5) Jess’s new older beau reassures her that he wants to do her. In his buggy on the way to the picture show. Kidding. I’m just glad his daughter didn’t catch her dad and her teacher making out in a parked car like teenagers. Awkward.
By Jasmine Williams
Last night’s episode was just another example of how New Girl is slowly becoming the “Schmidt Show,” with him being the focus of not just one but two plot lines. Not that I mind, he’s clearly the most hilarious and well-developed character on the show and we even got a fat Schmidty flashback last night which is always fun (minus the vomit).
But the main plot lines are starting to drag and the subplots are becoming a little cliché and forced. Schmidt changes, and then everyone realizes he was better before? Sounds more like a Disney Channel original movie than a network TV show. And it needed more SchmeCe! Cemidt? I’ll work on it.
Anyway, here are five things I learned on last night’s episode “Control.”
1) Schmidt is growing increasingly neurotic about his secret sexy-time situation with CeCe. And who wouldn’t when a midnight rendezvous requires an encounter with the “new homeless” and soiling a pair of suede loafers?
2) Nick’s financial situation is getting dicey. After losing a poker game, a hungover Nick wakes up with curious cannon shapes on his back (note: definitely not cannons, Jess) and a $487 debt to Winston. But Nick is broke and neither is letting it go, reminding each other of all their previous debts and favours.
3) Jess probably shouldn’t have challenged Schmidt’s neat-freak ways by turning the apartment into an episode of “Storage Wars” and taking him to the beach. A hutch is broken and Tahitian vanilla is placed next to the garden variety. Needless to say it gets ugly.
4) There is a very delicate balance of control in the apartment. Schmidt learns to relax but Nick and Winston descend into chaos, getting into a fistfight in a grocery checkout line. Also, Schmidt joins a drum circle and eats street meat. The apocalypse is nigh.
5) Looks like CeCe is possibly falling for Schmidt when she sneaks into the apartment for some late-night nookie. But does she really want him, or just his itty-bitty-Schmidty? I guess we’ll have to wait and see.