Every week ANDPOP columnist Kelly Burns narrows down the most bizarre stories of the week. They’re not exactly newsworthy but just weird enough to grab our attention. This week, San Francisco offers awesome Jedi classes and a dude busted for marijuana shows us why logic is a valuable skill.
The Dark Knight rises is arrested
So Matthew Argintar obviously hasn’t seen ANY Batman movies, but dresses up like the hero and freaks the public right out. The 23-year-old, was arrested outside a New Jersey Home Depot, after being spotted dressed up as Batman, and asking people if they needed any help. Hey Matthew! Watch the movies! Batman doesn’t just ask random people if they need help. He knows where the bad guys are and saves those already in distress.. DUH! With the recent Colorado shooting, this is not a funny prank…
Warning: don’t insert in anus
I can’t believe people actually are dumb enough to do this! A man in Australia must have watched Jackass, cause he decided he would stick some fireworks in his buttocks and light them off for kicks. Well, this didn’t end well, for OBVIOUS REASONS! He was treated for burns to his cheeks, back and privates. SMH Do we really need this warning added to firework labels? Warning: Please do not insert in anus.
How to be a Jedi 101
Alright, so this might actually be my dream come true. If you love Star Wars like me and have always wanted to be a Jedi Knight, NOW YOU CAN! In San Francisco, there are lightsaber training classes for adults. The end goal of the class is to reenact the ending scene from The Empire Strikes Back, when Luke and Darth Vader have it out. I think I’m vacationing in San Francisco this Fall.
Drugs are bad mmkay? Read more…
During a recent interview, Jessica Simpson basically said she wishes she had a bigger butt. We are serious!
“I have a white girl booty. I don’t have a big butt. I’d rather have a happy medium and take some off my chest and put it towards my butt so I could balance out a bit,” the pop star told Closer Magazine.
On all the press about her weight:
“People talked about my weight for an entire year. Being famous for gaining 10lbs is ridiculous! I didn’t feel as fat as everybody was making me out to be. Even the president felt he had to make a comment – although I think he was caught off guard as the picture was thrown in front of his face!”
On how her boyfriend Johnson has helped her love her body:
“I’m more confident than I’ve ever been in my life. I’m much more at peace with myself and whatever life brings my way.”
There was a full moon that night, and there are photos to prove it.
Before getting a new passport and going back to the States to see a judge, Lindsay Lohan was in Cannes, France, and was forced to see something entirely different: the butt of King Khan.
According to CHARTattack.com, the band The Almighty Defenders (made up of Khan and the Black Lips) recently performed at a party during the Cannes Film Festival (held May 12 to 23 in the southern France city). Photos from the party have shown up showing Khan and Lohan at the party.
In the first photo, Khan’s shorts are halfway down his legs and he is bent over in front of Lohan. Lohan is covering her face, probably from laughter (although possibly from tears). In the second photo, Khan’s bare butt is in full view and Lohan is turned away from it. You can see the photos on Vice.
Catch Khan, his butt, and the rest of The Almighty Defenders here:
May 26 Paris, France @ La Machine Paris
May 27 Limoges, France @ CCM John Lennon
May 28-30 Barcelona, Spain @ Parc Del Forum (Primavera Sound Festival)
June 30 Calgary, AB @ Sled Island Music Festival
Oct. 9 Austin, TX @ Zilker Park (Austin City Limits Music Festival)
