Only in America.
After two days of debating helium legislation in the House, Republican Hank Johnson of Georgia had enough. He decided the best way to end the pointless debate was to get up and give a sarcastic speech about the merits of helium – and it could not have been more hilarious.
While his spokesman insisted it was all a joke, let’s not forget this is the man who once expressed concern that increased military presence in Guam would cause the island to capsize. Joking or not, I’m just glad somebody is bringing attention to the fact that there are more important things to be dealt with than whether or not comedians should have the right to use helium in their stand up performances. Plus, his puns were spot on.
Every man has a different infatuation. It could be cars, fitness, graphic novels or hot chicks. But this one young man from Arkansas has an undying love for — wait for it — balloons. He literally believes the balloons are his children and even sleeps with them under his shirt.
“You can feel the balloon right there with you,” he says in the promo for National Geographic. “You feel so close and you feel so warm and your heart just reaches out to this beautiful, beautiful balloon.”
And no, as far as we can tell, he’s not huffing helium.
This is why you don’t play fetch with balloons. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt.
