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The Hills Recap: ‘Just Be Careful…’ When You’re Dealing with Stephanie Pratt…and Lauren Conrad…Oh and Heidi Montag, Too

andPOP Staff — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 02:58:22 +0000

Awkward conversations rife with warnings about backstabbers seem to be last night’s theme on The Hills as the show opens with chief backstabber Stephanie Pratt winning a hesistant last-minute invite to the exclusive Lauren Conrad birthday party.

After the opening credits roll, and Heidi has threatened to punch Spencer in the face, proving that, yes kids, violence is always the answer, Stephanie Pratt returns home to her condo to find her brother’s gigantic fish tank situated directly in the centre of her living room.
She’s not psyched.

Justifiably, she asks him when he’s planning on getting a job. And this is an excellent question because by my count Spencer Pratt has not had a real job since, let’s see, this Monday will make it……..yeah, never.

It’s finally time for Lauren Conrad’s big birthday evening at S-Bar and she casually informs best friend Lo Bosworth that Stephanie Pratt might “stop by” but she might not. Seriously? Homegirl lives for drama. She’s stopping by. At the party, Lo and Audrina talk about how they don’t trust Stephanie. Then the camera zooms out and they are literally 5 feet away from her. AWKWARD. Later, it’s Brody Jenner: Superhottie’s turn to warn Lauren about Stephanie. He tells her to be careful, thus becoming the 4586556th member of the I Hate Stephanie Pratt Club.

When He-Pratt finds out about She-Pratt’s appearance at Lauren’s birthday, he confronts her with an obviously rehearsed speech in which he employs one of the best lines ever uttered in the history of The Hills. In response to Stephanie’s statement that he’s “making her cry right now”, he snaps back with the zinger, “you’re making yourself cry thinking about what you did.” Oh Spence, manipulative and poetic.

Heidi rounds out the episode by espousing yet another warning to “be careful”, but this time it’s to Stephanie about Lauren. She claims that she and Spencer did “nothing” to Lauren. When are they going to learn that the answer is always to Blame Spencer?

Finally, Whitney’s back! We catch up with her at People’s Revolution where her boss, Kelly Cutrone, is holding a meeting and illustrating that as an employee of hers, if you screw something up, she will kill you in your sleep. The poor overly-lipsticked girl sitting to Whitney’s right incurs the Wrath of Cutrone, but Whitney makes it out of the meeting unscathed.

Back at Steph Pratt’s apartment, she and Heidi declare a Girls Night and head out to club Vice. What a coincidence! Audrina just happens to be there with workplace confidante Chiara. Heidi attempts to make amends and Audrina actually gives her some good advice, noting that “you have to learn how to keep your friends while you’re dating someone.” This is probably a bajillion times harder, however, when the “someone” you’re dating is Spencer Pratt.

Oblivious to all of this drama for now, Lauren and Whitney set up a lunch date at Whitney’s workplace. Any logical person would think this risky given the verbal beating Whitney’s boss served up to Lipstick Girl mere minutes ago, but it ends up working out in Lauren’s favour as one of Whitney’s superiors sidles up and offers LC a position at NY Fashion Week. See how easy it is, kids? I wonder if I go turn some knobs at a recording studio, someone will offer me a record deal…

Tipped off about the Heidi-Audrina encounter by Stephanie, Lauren heads home and informs Audrina that she can be friends with Heidi but warns her about being good friends with her. Oh ok, so she’ll only start a sex tape rumour about you once you’ve reached “good friend” status. Glad we cleared that up.

Later, while Lauren is out, Heidi drops by the Conrad/Patridge apartment to pick up some of her stuff. She again expresses to Audrina her desire to be friends, complete with the Heidi Montag signature pleading look, which is actually more effective with those new lips of hers. She departs and Lauren returns, upset that Heidi didn’t just “grab her stuff and leave.” Audrina looks nervous, Lauren looks murderous, and it’s clear we haven’t seen the last of this Audrina-Heidi reconciliation.

The Hills Recap: Lauren Conrad and Stephanie Pratt = Best Friends Forever?

andPOP Staff — Tue, 01 Apr 2008 00:54:24 +0000

As the episode title tells us, Lauren Conrad and Whitney Port make it “Back to LA.” How creative. The title was almost as disappointing as the episode. Probably because there are less Frenchmen in this one. Nevertheless, they did showcase something France does not have: Brody Jenner! Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge hit up Les Deux where they meet up with Brody and Frankie. As LC explains to Audrina, “when you come home, everything is different.” Then how come they’re still partying at Les Deux?! Do any of them ever club anywhere else? And the girl was only gone for a week; the world does not stop when Lauren Conrad leaves the country! The only thing different is the tension between Brody and Lauren. This time, it’s not hot. LC is on a role after turning down those Frenchmen. She refuses to hug Brody causing him to storm out of the club. Frankie is left behind. What happened to bros before hoes? Instead, Frankie stays to talk with LC. He probably just wants another chance to make out with Lo.

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Poor LC, this is not her only break-up this season as the inseparable Whitney Port and Lauren Conrad end their two year Teen Vogue relationship.” Whitney realizes that Teen Vogue is not the place for her and has to leave Lauren behind. Whitney ends up working for a stylist: Kelly Cutrone. Her first gig: a fashion show for People’s Revolution. The episode features another fashion line that is better than Lauren’s. Doesn’t LC watch her own show? Get some inspiration! Oddly, one of Whitney’s new co-workers is named Heidi. Do I detect some foreshadowing?

And who says The Hills is just fluff is wrong. Whitney provides great interview tips: 1. Do not piss off old boss 2. Do not piss off new boss. 3. Say yes to the job even if the interviewer tells you that you are making a deal with the devil. Whitney, I really hope she doesn’t go Devil Wears Prada on you!

Someone else needs to learn how to take tips: Heidi Montag. Hasn’t she learned the number one rule from Lauren’s experiences? Do Not Piss Spencer Pratt Off! Heidi and Spencer decide to sort of break up and sort of not see other people. Heidi wants him to move out but doesn’t understand why he’s upset about it. How dumb is this girl? Just by watching The Hills I’ve learned an important message: Don’t mess with Spence or he’ll make up sex tape rumours about you. Heidi better watch out or she’ll be next. Oh wait! She was already in a sex tape; have you seen Heidi’s music video produced by Spencer himself?

Spencer is forced to move in with his sister who he hopes will take his side. Since his best friend and his girlfriend leave him, who has he got left but backstabbing sis? He explains to Stephanie that he can’t trust her because she goes to class with LC and goes clubbing with Heidi. Stephanie is completely offended at his lack of trust. Hmm can’t say I really blame you Spence. Next clip shows Stephanie telling LC exactly what Spencer had just told her. Where’s your brotherly love? Maybe Spratt will replace Whitney to become LC’s new co-worker?

‘The Hills’ Too Classy For Paris Hilton

andPOP Staff — Thu, 22 Nov 2007 16:56:34 +0000

Amidst rumours that “The Hills” is fake, producers are holding onto their last shred of dignity by refusing to let Paris Hilton appear on the show.

Crew members of the show were reportedly overheard discussing Hilton’s attempts to land a role, saying that the producers felt it would be “pushing the limits” of believability.

It’s not really that much of a stretch, though. Nicole Ritchie, Paris’ re-instated BFF, has been seen out on the town with “Hills” stars Lauren Conrad and Audrina Partridge.

The producers may have their noses raised over Hilton, but they are apparently not above casting people in key roles of Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt’s upcoming wedding.

Roxy Olin, daughter of “Brothers and Sisters” actor Ken Olin, is in final talks to be Montag’s maid of honour.