You might complain about all the sketchy dudes you meet through online dating sites like eHarmony and Plenty of Fish, dreaming of a time when couples met naturally by locking eyes in a coffee shop or bumping into one another one the subway. Well, I have news for you: Life before dating sites wasn’t much better.

Case in point: These dating profiles from the 80s, featuring Fred the Viking, wild boy Maurice, Big Phil and blue-eyed Monroe. Mullets, high-rise jeans and weird facial hair aside, the guys manage to be creepy and ridiculously demanding.

Things they are looking for: Fun.

Things they aren’t looking for: Food-noshing fatties, hamsters, dopers, smokers, alcoholics, money-grabbers, crazies, sexual abusers and power women who don’t like to clean the house.

Do you think any of these guys ended up with dates?

Watch it here