It’s a truth universally acknowledged that when NBA players attempt to act it makes you want to shut your eyes, stuff plugs in your ears and pretend you never saw the movie in the first place. Unfortunately these films don’t do very well. FINALLY professional actor Gary Oldman is speaking out against this precious cause with the help of Jimmy Kimmel.
The usually well-spoken Oldman loses his sh*t: “STAY THE F*CK OUT OF MOVIES!” He yells. “You’re not actors, some of you can’t even speak English. You suck. Get it?”
Oldman easily transitions from sane to cray in two seconds, ultimately proving that he’s an amazing actor. Can you do that Shaquille O’Neil? Huh?
Watch it here:
This greedy chipmunk went to the local buffet and didn’t feel filled up after his 24 fish fillets so he grabbed a massive peanut and stuffed it in his mouth. You think it won’t fit? Shame on you, this guy is a tank. [Source]
Chinese villagers in Xi’an were excited to find what they thought was a rare new mushroom, never before found in history. They thought the landmark discovery warranted a call to their local TV station to try to identify the new species.
Ye, the young reporter, remarks: ”As we can all see, this looks like a type of fungus, on both ends of which you’ll find mushroom heads.” They handle the fungus very carefully, even putting it in water for preservation.
However, soon after the report aired it was easily identified as a SEX TOY, with a fake vagina on one end and a fake anus on the other — otherwise known as a fleshlight. Then everyone went “OMG MY EYES” and burst into flames.
Well not really, but the TV show issued an apology later on the website: ”Hi everyone, one of our news reports which aired last night has made everyone laugh. This incident has been widely followed, shared and commented on,” the open letter said. ”As our reporter was still very young and unwise to the ways of the world, this report has brought great inconvenience to everyone. We’d like to take this opportunity to thank everyone from the bottom of our hearts for your criticism and correction. Please forgive our oversight!”
Okay. We figure you, because it pretty much made us burst into awkward giggle fits (we’re so mature).
Watch it here:
People might wonder how someone can possibly spend hours upon hours on the computer. The answer to that is quite simple: because sometimes you come across the odd little internet nugget that just makes your day. Today, it’s a video of Ryan Gosling singing and dancing his little heart out before the Mickey Mouse Club.
Performing alongside his sister Mandi at a Mormon talent show, child-Gosling is a huge ham. He first pulls out the boy band hand choreography and smiles in that way that still makes all the girls go nuts. Then, he and his sister start dancing, and let me tell you, they have moves for days. Moves that may or may not be appropriate for a Mormon talent show (Gosling pelvic-thrusts his way upstage) but moves nonetheless. At one point they even run off stage and dance right in front of the audience.
The icing on top of this glorious cake is just how nineties everything is. They’re dancing to one of the most memorable tracks of the decade (C+C Music Factory’s “Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now),” and the clothes! THE CLOTHES. They’re wearing matching lamé colour-blocked shirts and bottoms (high waisted pants for Ryan and skirt for his sister), you know the kind of clothes the hipsters hanging around Urban Outfitters wear today.
I’m just going to say it: I would pay money to watch a video of grown-man Gosling perform this exact routine. Or, he could join the cast of Magic Mike 2, which in reality isn’t happening, but we all know how Hollywood likes to latch onto anything successful.
Watch the video below:
Politely passing a beer to someone upon request is mega boring. It’s all in the presentation — you get extra points if you bounce the can off something, throw it from a steep height or if you use props. Luckily these dudes from Milwaukee show us how it’s done.
The amount of the beer head seems to be conducive to your success.
You have to hand it to this guy who puts himself through personal embarrassment just to get a rise out of unknowing pedestrians passing by on the street. He’s just trying to get his morning exercise with his shake weights but it looks a lot like he’s doing so-called “mood gestures.” Ie. the guy is masturbating, stroking the salami, pounding the old pud, practising for the big game, aiming a tennis ball against the big wall (I’m just awkwardly stealing from American Pie now).
Watch it here:
Not to speak poorly of my gender but SOMETIMES ladies can overreact about inconsequential things. Sometimes guys can overreact too but we’re just focusing on the ladies right now.
Anyway, if you’re a particularly daft guy that doesn’t know why it’s not okay to make a comment about appearance or if you like to watch the game when you’re supposed to be having quality “us” time, then you’ll probably relate to this face-slapping musical Men We Don’t Know What We Did.
Inspired by Family Guy, it’s the musical where yes means no and no means yes and everything else is freaking confusing.
Not talking and texting in the theater during a movie should be common sense. But for this woman, I guess she didn’t get the memo.
Kicked out of the theater for texting, she decides to send an ignorant and angry voice mail to the Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, Texas.
In the video she actually calls out the theater for being rude. She then states that she’d “rather go to a reglear theater, where people are ACTUALLY POLITE.”
Oh, the irony.
CUTE ALERT: This duck’s walking may cause you to squeal.
While taking his pet duck Charley on a walk, it decides to run at a super speed to catch up.
Can’t handle how adorable this is? I can’t either.
Flies are probably one the most annoying creatures to make a presence in our homes. They fly around our heads, land on our shelves and make us dizzy as we try and get rid of them.
But fear not!
There’s a new way to deal with them…by sucking them up with a straw. As this individual proves, it is both funny and useful to annoy the crap out of those suckers.
But a warning before you attempt to do this. Make sure you don’t suck your straw too hard.
Looks like flash mob marriage proposals are the new craze.
Forming a group of little girls to dance to Cobra Starship’s “You Make Me Feel…” and Bruno Mars’ “Marry You”, this man proposes to his longtime girlfriend.
While I think the Bruno Mars song is rather overplayed and kind of overused, this is an adorable proposal.
However, I just have one question.
How did he find so many little girls for the flash mob?
There’s no doubt that there is some pretty crazy shit selling on eBay. But what happens when you arrive on a page with an scary-sounding recorded message?
That’s what happened to this eBay user. To his surprise, he arrived on a page where an eBay seller got incredibly mad when people bought his movie cards when they thought they were buying DVDs.
Wanting people to get the message, he recorded a very frightening message alerting potential buyers.
On another note, this eBay seller recently passed away due to Cystic Fibrosis. RIP, angry eBay seller.
The Cat in the Hat? Pfft. How about The Cat On Top of the Hat?
Seen on the streets of San Francisco, this car takes a ride on its owner’s hat as they go for a stroll.
But seeing that cats are interesting creatures who love having their way, something tells me this cat has other ideas…
Getting electric wheelchairs to move look challenging enough. But as this elderly man proves, anything is possible. Going up a flight of stairs, he conquers them in seconds…and amazing all of us.
What a boss.
Euro 2012 isn’t only about soccer. As this fan from Ukraine proves, going to a soccer match can be a fun dance party of one as well.
You gotta love the unique personalities of these fans. Personally, I want to see him dance in a club.
I’m pretty sure if I went to Chicago’s infamous hostile hot dog stand Weiner’s Circle, I’d leave with a charred hot dog and a side low self esteem — possibly no dignity and a few tears rolling down my cheeks too. Well, that’s exactly what happened to 30 Rock’s Jack McBrayer (a.k.a Kenneth). B*tch told the doe-eyed actor he’s too sweaty, slow and probably a meth addict.
That’s not okay.
So he swore revenge and sought help from his friend Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog. The cigar-smoking dog RIPS the woman apart on Conan O’Brien and basically avenges all the customers who have been called names at the hot dog stand.
Finally, the bullies all bond over their mutual love of name-calling and work together to serve vulnerable customers. So it’s a happy ending for everyone.
I’ve had a lot of CRAY experiences on the subway. No really, I actually keep a slightly embarrassing Harriet the Spy-style blog about it (#shamelesspromotion). But I’ve yet to see a spontaneous and unintentional Rihanna concert performed by a young, shaded guy with headphones on.
In situations like these, it’s best to avoid eye contact, unless you’re really into the song and want to sing with him, but that’s not recommended. Your response to his off-key singing can be difficult because your knee-jerk reaction is probably to laugh until you cry. I advise you to step back as far as you can while still remaining in hearing distance (you don’t want to miss the show), pretend to pay attention to your book and then keep a poker face.
We’re not sure if these two kids really have a shot at marrying Selena Gomez considering she’s probably not a polygamist, they’re pretty young and duh, she’s dating Justin Bieber. Nevertheless, I admire their dedication and respect for marriage proposals with high production value.
The two kids met Selena at at the meet and greet for her perfume wearing T-shirts that said “forget Justin & marry me.” Now they wrote and produced a personalized version of JB’s “Boyfriend” and dance to it with an entourage of female sidekicks in their music video. What romantics!
Watch it here:
If there was one element the song was missing it was most definitely a little more
cowbell bark. It also proves a hypothetical theory I have that the song is not only universally loved by humans around the world, but also by other species. [Source]
Watch it here: