andPOP - Pop Culture With Substance

I am not the audience for this movie.

I did not see the original Twilight. I read the novel and was horrified; how many teenage girls truly believe that men like Edward Cullen exist? (Fewer, probably, than the number of boys men who expect to meet a gorgeous independent woman who caters to their every whim and is miraculously attracted to slovenly underachievers, but that’s a rant for another film.) In real life a man who stalks protects a woman the way Edward does will continue to do so whether her life’s in danger or not. Perhaps the majority of Twilight fans recognize this, and treat the stories as wish fulfillment, much as this reviewer does with good romantic comedies (though not, it must be said, The Ugly Truth, which peddled a similar adolescent fantasy).

On that level, New Moon delivers. It reproduces the central appeal of the books: a man who’s faster, stronger, more romantic, better at playing baseball and musical instruments alike and more beautiful than anyone you could possibly imagine falls for Bella Swan, an ordinary, unremarkable-looking girl, and continually professes not only that he loves her, but that he cannot live without her. So protective is he that when his otherworldly urges place her in danger he actually abandons her to protect her.

This is the basest sort of adolescent fantasy, the kind any writer who’s attended university could dream up, and yet it would be undone by a sense of manufactured cynicism if author Stephenie Meyer didn’t wholeheartedly believe in it. She does, and it would appear a wide cross-section of the western world does too.

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It’s every citizen’s worst fear: a cop who willingly and continuously breaks the law; and even worse, a cop who gets away with it. Yet somehow, Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans is still an enjoyable watch.

Directed by Werner Herzog, Bad Lieutenant tells the story of Terence (Nicholas Cage), a rogue detective who is equally as devoted to his job as he is to scoring illegal drugs. Taking place in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, the film follows Terence as he tries to find the drug dealing killer of a low-income family, all the while smoking and howling like a mad man.

Appearing high and/or delusional in every scene, Terence wields his gun, flashes his badge, and threatens everyone around him to get what he wants. And most of the time what he wants is drugs. He steals drugs from young couples at nightclubs, makes drug deals with the criminals he is supposed to be arresting, smokes drugs in front of just about anyone, and even carries around a lucky crack pipe.

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“Pirate Radio” is entertaining, well written — but also forgettable. Directed and written by Richard Curtis (“Love Actually,” “Four Weddings and a Funeral”), there’s no question this movie will appeal to rock lovers and rock dummies alike. However, that doesn’t make it a memorable film.

In theory, this comedy has everything going for it: actors who can actually act (like Philip Seymour Hoffman), a reasonably original plot and a witty, Oscar-nominated screenwriter. The movie is based on the true story of a seafaring group of rock-obsessed DJs who captivated 1960’s Britain with their “pirate radio.” This at a time where rock music was mostly banned from the airways so the group broadcast live-to-air in an old tanker from the middle of the North Sea.

Their radio station helped unify millions across the nation and their story is without a doubt hilarious as told by Curtis. So what’s the problem? It’s just clustered. “Pirate Radio” is an ensemble film, but one with too many characters. While the movie does a fantastic job of developing a handful of oddball DJs, the rest of them are merely props.

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Well folks, it looks like we’ve only got two years to live.With that in mind, are you sure you want to spend the last bit of your precious time watching your terrifying fate on the big screen? If your answer to that question is an enthusiastic and energetic YES, then 2012 is just the movie for you.

Directed by Roland Emmerich, 2012 is about the human race’s greatest fear: the end of the world. According to the Mayan calendar, the world is set to undergo a series of large-scale natural disasters on Dec. 12, 2012, that humans will not be able to survive. The film takes us on the two journeys. The first is with an intelligent but unpopular writer, played by John Cusack. He’s divorced, and has two kids who prefer their mom (Amanda Peet)’s new boyfriend to their real father. Pretty typical, right? Still, if anyone can wiggle back into a child’s heart, it’s Cusack.The second journey follows a geologist (Chiwetel Ejiofor) who works for the White House. He helps the government prepare by giving estimated times for each disaster to hit.

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“Inside Hana’s Suitcase” will move anyone and everyone. The film mixes documentary with narrative techniques to tell the true-life story of Hana Brady, a girl who was killed during the Holocaust.

The film was inspired by the 2002 bestselling book Hana’s Suitcase. It retraces a series of coincidences that lead Tokyo school teacher Fumiko Ishioka, to the suitcase that belonged to a Czech Jewish girl, Hana Brady.

Ishioka, who also happens to be the director of the Tokyo Holocaust Education Centre, receives the suitcase with only two bits of information on Hana: her date of birth and the fact that she was an orphan by the time of her wartime capture. It doesn’t take long for the teacher to become emotionally invested in discovering Hana’s story, an investment she shares with her students. After intense research, she discovers that Hana’s brother George, a Holocaust survivor and thriving grandfather who lives in Toronto, is still alive.

Don’t let the documentary aspect turn you away from seeing this movie because it’s anything but dry. Director Larry Weinstein does a fantastic job of combining interviews with George and surviving friends and family with stunning re-enactment footage of Hana and George as kids. The two types of storytelling mesh together so well that sometimes they literally blend (a scene involving Ishioka and a drawing by Hana is simply amazing and unique).

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Dunno if you heard, but a concert documentary, starring a little-known performer who died recently, opened across the country at 12:01 this morning.

This performer, Michael Jackson, would likely have been plagued by scandal through much of his adult life had anyone actually heard of him, so perhaps it’s just as well.

To Sony’s credit, This Is It does not feel like a quickie cash-in on Jackson’s death. A bit over-adulatory perhaps, but that’s to be expected. It must be said, however, that Jackson’s death casts a pall over the movie’s early proceedings; to me, his fake cleft chin and overly manufactured nose make his face look like melted wax, his voice occasionally lilts – not in a good way – and some of his dance moves look robotic.

But as time passes, the rehearsals have an obvious effect on him; his dancing becomes smoother, his singing becomes stronger, and he appears to become younger. Performing came as naturally to Jackson as breathing, and while his voice occasionally disappears, he’s never off-key (and explains more than once that he’s trying to save his vocal cords), and every number yields enthusiastic applause from the gathered technicians and back-up dancers.

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If you can sit through corny lines such as “everyone has their destiny,” “Astro Boy” isn’t too shabby. While it doesn’t live up to Pixar standards, the movie is quite an engaging family-friendly action flick.

The animated film tells the story of a robotic boy who first emerged in the 1950’s as part of a Japanese manga series. Astro Boy then ventured into television in the ‘60s and today, he can be seen on the silver screen with upgraded CGI animation.

The film starts with Toby (voiced by Freddie Highmore), a brilliant, curious kid who’s the son of an even more brilliant scientist (Nicolas Cage). Unfortunately, he dies in a freak lab accident and his father, stricken with grief and guilt, creates a robot that looks exactly like Toby (memories included).

However, he realizes shortly after bringing the robot home that no one — or in this case nothing — can replace his son. He abandons the robot, who later takes on the name Astro and leaves the gleaming Metro City in order to find a place where he belongs (I apologize for the cheesiness, but that’s literally how he feels).

There’s one catch, Astro is powered by Blue Core energy, a crystalline nugget that’s extremely powerful and that the government, mainly the vicious president, wants to get its hands on.

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Only great movies require cheesy appraisals, so here it goes: “A Serious Man” is seriously good. Compared to other Coen brother films, it holds its own in a line of classics. And for those thinking you’re going in to see a comedy, note that it’s not just any comedy — it’s a horrific comedy (meant in the best of ways).

When you see the opening sequence featuring a Polish peasant and his wife speaking in Yiddish, just note that you’re not in the wrong theatre. The film kicks off with a short horror film, ending with spilled blood. It raises the question: “Has the almighty Hashem blessed them with a visitor? Or cursed them with a soul-stealing dybbuk?” You’ll understand once you see the film.

It then fast forwards to a 1967 Minneapolis Jewish community, of which Physics professor Larry Gopnik (Michael Stuhlbarg) is a part of. And let’s just say his life isn’t one you would envy. Larry’s wife wants to leave him for their lovey-dovey friend Sy Ableman (Fred Melamed), his brother has taken over the family couch and his bathroom, and his kids are constantly bickering with each other.

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Here’s an old-fashioned crowd-pleaser; albeit, a crowd-pleaser with lots of blood spewing, limb-chewing, and bone breaking – but really, why would you see a movie called Zombieland if you didn’t want to see that?

Here’s a horror film that acknowledges how ridiculous it is by depicting a group of eight-year-old zombie girls before the opening credits; and a comedy that, by casting Jesse Eisenberg in the lead role, quickly establishes an enjoyably quirky tone, and maintains it by adding Abigail Breslin as a shotgun-toting 12-year-old and Woody Harrelson (in a terrific performance) as the movie’s resident badass.

Here’s a genre movie with a coherent plot – Breslin and Emma Stone, playing nervy sisters, push the thin but logical story along – and which pays attention to its characters, giving each of them solid backstories and respectable screentime. (My biggest complaint with Zombieland is that while the sisters are much stronger than typical damsels in distress, they nonetheless wind up being damsels in distress).

Here’s an action movie with an extended, glorious climax at an amusement park, with all the standbys (roller coaster, tilt-a-whirl, drop mechanism) used in exactly the way you’d expect; plus characters using really big guns, and firing them with a generous helping of one-liners.

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At the end of the day, “Coco Avant Chanel” doesn’t do justice to one of the world’s most iconic fashion figures. It leaves you wanting to see more of the avant (before) and the après (after) of Chanel’s rise to fame.

As suggested by the title, the film focuses on Coco’s early years, before she hit it big in the global fashion scene. We first meet her as an orphaned girl, with no sight of the glamour and celebrity endorsements that are associated with today’s Chanel brand. The movie then fast-forwards to a twenty-something Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel (played by “Amelie’s” Audrey Tautou) who’s involved in a French cabaret act with her sister (Marie Gillain). She dreams of becoming the next theatre starlet of Paris, but that dream slowly slips from her hands.

One older, wealthy man (Etienne Balsan played by Benoît Poelvoorde), promises to try and get her an audition and while she doesn’t make the cut, Gabrielle continues a brief fling with him. She comes off as opportunistic when she arrives at Etienne’s mansion unannounced and stays there as she decides what to do with her life.

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