Don't be scared, you won't need all of those. At once.

Nerd Games (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love RPGs)

You start work at a new office.  You meet someone on the subway or a streetcar, and conversation starts.  For someone like me (men in their early twenties), mentioning to someone you play video games still has a bit of a nerdy connotation to it.  Although video games have definitely become a mainstream form of entertainment for boys and girls alike and even more significantly men and women, if you ask someone you just met if they’ve played Fallout 3 or Oblivion, you run the risk of sounding like a nerd (not that there’s anything wrong with that).  You may even come across as childish, although  it’s become popular opinion that video games can and are played by men and women of all ages.   All said though, it’s not really too big of a deal.

Now try the exact same situation, but instead of asking your new-found friend if they have played the new Call of Duty or Batman: Arkham Asylum you ask them if they know what Dungeons and Dragons is.  Completely different story.  Telling someone in 2009 that you play Dungeons and Dragons is like telling someone in 1989 that you play video games – or Dungeons and Dragons, for that matter.

Playing in a basement is not a requirement.

Now comes the part where I explain what Dungeons and Dragons is to the people who are ready to skip the rest of this article and Youtube “Cats Doing Things That Are Mildly Amusing.”

Dungeons and Dragons is a roleplaying game that has been the biggest influence for every other RPG ever made since.  Ever. Oblivion, Mass Effect, Diablo, you name it.  Even games like Mafia Wars on Facebook are a result of the core idea of roleplaying games. It is played by 2 or more players and one Games Master (GM).  The long and short of it is that each player creates a character according to the structure of the game, following a procedure to define their character’s various abilities and modus operandi.  The actual playing of the game is essentially that the GM is telling a story, in which all of the players are playing the roles of their respective characters.  Hence, role playing game.  There is a combat system so when the party needs to throw down it’s easy and fun to play and the rest of the time it is relatively free-roaming, with the GM providing narrative and some direction to the party who can act as they wish to accomplish the goal (save the girl, get the rock/sword/etc.).  And along the way you earn experience, which makes your characters gradually more badass, and gold, which allows you to buy more badass equipment for your characters, further increasing the badass quotient.

Sound familiar?  It should – it’s every RPG of all time.  So what’s with the stigma associated with paper-and dice RPGs?  The only difference between what I explained above and say, World of Warcraft is that the stories are invariably more interesting, the dynamic of the party is more story-driven, and instead of developing carpal tunnel syndrome clicking incessantly you roll dice to determine the outcome of combat and some skill-based checks here and there.  Also, you play across a table – not across a city, province, country or continent.

I haven’t been playing paper-and-dice RPGs for as long as I have been video gaming.  I was introduced to a great game called RIFTS by a good friend of mine when he moved to Toronto from Montreal.  Since then, I have kept playing with a group of friends throughout high school and during our respective post-secondary educations.  Sometimes a game is called off for a date or prior engagement, but we play once a week pretty regularly.  We’ve gone through elves, dwarfs, humans and half-orcs.  We’ve played rogues, wizards, sorcerers (yes, there’s a difference), fighters and clerics.  Dragons?  Slain ‘em.  Dungeons? Crawled ‘em.

Chapter 4 is how to play a half-elf without sounding like a douche

But I digress.  The stigma of being a RPGamer – I just made that up, by the way, (edit: No I didn‘t – thanks, Google) has kept a lot of people from enjoying this great genre of gaming.  The fact that most people will play more FarmVille in their lives than RIFTS or D&D is depressing to say the least.  I will say that as much as I despise it, World of Warcraft has done more to bring paper-and-dice RPGs into the mainstream (by way of their similarities in a community-multiplayer idea) than anything else in the last 10 years.  A game that you really can’t play by yourself sounds like a hard idea to pitch to traditional gamers, but it worked.  Oh boy, did it ever work.

Although WoW brought the Diablo-esque MMORPG into mainstream culture, it’s still seen as a nerdy activity by most, and paper-and-dice RPGs even more so.  But I say great – I enjoy having a group of like-minded friends not worried about what everyone else is thinking, ready to play the nerdiest game we can think of.  It doesn’t hurt that some awesome celebrities play D&D – Vin Diesel is a class-A nerd, along with Robin Williams (although I’d imagine getting him to sit at a table for more than 10 minutes is more difficult than learning the game), Marilyn Manson, Stephen Colbert (getting him to shut up for a minute is probably even more difficult than getting Robin Williams to sit still) and of course, the ever-awesome Kevin Smith (who I would imagine runs very dialogue-heavy campaigns).

So the next time you meet a stranger and are looking for something to say, try asking if they have ever played a video game.  If they say yes, you could try asking if (gasp!) they have ever tried D&D.  You can always say “me neither” if they say no.

Just watch out for those Live Action Role-Playing (LARP) people.  You know, the ones that dress up as their characters and swing Styrofoam swords at each other?  Stay away from them; those guys are nerds.

Read more at andPOP. andPOP - POP Culture with Substance

I am a..ninja

Hi everyone, my name is April Apoong and I’m the new intern writer at andPOP.com. Yes, I am their first female game reviewer. I am currently pursuing creative writing at a Post Secondary level and reviewing and writing about games was a natural choice for me. Trust me, I’m no pushover, have you finished Tenchu Wrath of Heaven on the highest difficulty 100 percent? Ever gone on a 30 to 1 winning streak in Dead or Alive 2? Well I have! For these reasons and more I am bringing my zany writing talents to the shores of andPOP. So prepare to see some well written unapologetic video game centric works of literature.

Read more at andPOP. andPOP - POP Culture with Substance

Parent’s Just Don’t Understand… Yet?

Hey Ethel! I killed those Nazi zombies with my, uhh... I killed those Nazis!

Our parents are great, for the most part.  When we are too small to defend or feed ourselves, they take care of us.  As we grow and mature, they guide and nurture us so that we can become fully functional human beings, and not the equivalent of lower primates, sitting in trees flinging our own crap at each other (thank you Red Forman).  But one area where most parents don’t quite have the ability to be the all-knowing influence they would like to be:  video games.

When I was growing up playing tag and hide-and-seek, my parents totally understood.  They would ask how the game went, where I was hiding, what kind of tag rules I played with – they were very involved, because they could relate my experience to their own. However, when I picked up my first Genesis game, they watched Sonic the Hedgehog like he was an alien from outer space (wait, was he?), shook their heads, and left the room.  Thus ended my parent’s ability to fully understand me – from that day forward, there would always be that barrier between us – the invisible yet impassable wall made of 1-ups and gold coins.

But will it always be this way?  Should I ever be unfortunate enough to have a pack of small versions of me running around underfoot, will I end up leaving them to their own devices when it comes to electronic entertainment?  Or will I be able to enjoy a visit with them to our very own holodeck (wishful thinking, I know) once in a while?

Mastering DDR will never make your kids think you're cool. It may actually hurt that cause.

We know that most parents of the young (18 and under) gaming demographic right now, as well as the parents of my generation, the old guard of gaming (22-30 as of 2009) are lost when it comes to games.  This is mostly because games they played when they were young were not video games.  Board games and outdoor games were the pastimes of the day.  If kids today suddenly picked up jacks or kick the can, their grandparents would be all over it.  Any video games that these parents played were arcade games at best – a far cry from the Super Nintendo.

The difference there is that when my generation starts having kids (and some unlucky and/or stupid members already have), what kind of tech-savvy parents will we be?  I’m sure that there will be the parents who just don’t get it, and that’s fine.  But consider that our generation was the first real generation to have the bridge between adult’s childhood games and their children’s games blown to pieces by the advent of console gaming, leaving them to stare across the gap at their offspring playing games they could barely understand.  Believe me when I tell you tag has been around forever. Your parents and their parents never reached an impasse because Grandpa couldn’t understand what was going on in hide-and-seek.  So is it so revolutionary that we may be able to relate better to the next generation than our parents could with us?  Or were Mom and Dad the exception to the rule?

I think it will be interesting to see whether or not the developing demographic of casual gamers rises to the challenge to understand and appreciate their kids’ new games.  It might be depressing and embarrassing to be the guy who has to say to his kid “In my day, we had to play video games with controllers!  On TV screens!  That’s television, son! And we were thankful!” However, if you sit with the kid after your rant, and see what the new game is for the PS4000, you might just earn his respect. At least until you slip gradually into senility and start cursing at the child while making obscene gestures every time you lose (although a symptom of senility, this is also a symptom of FAIL).

Hey Timmy, are you playing the new Poke-a-man? Sure, Mom.

The last time I talked to my mom about video games was actually not that long ago.  I asked her (with this article in mind) the last video game she had played besides the ill fated night she tried to play GoldenEye on the N64 with my brothers and I (good night, by the way – she spent 5 straight minutes trying to shoot out a camera with dual RCP90′s – and infinite ammo).  She then told me that I should be proud to have a mother who could beat my father at Donkey Kong Jr. at the arcade when they were young lovers.  I was blown away!  Could this veneer of kindness, smiles and silly voices hide an inner core of gaming prowess that I simply never noticed before?  Time for a follow-up question.  Say Mom, you played  Donkey Kong Jr., so you must remember Pac-Man, right?

“Oh yeah.  He eats things, and…”

Yeah, I know.  I laughed too.

If you have any hilarious stories about your parents/kids and video gaming, or the opposite event of a parent stomping you in Halo or Mario Kart, let me know below.  This might even lead to a Top 5 List!

Read more at andPOP. andPOP - POP Culture with Substance

I'd hate to see the result of this guy losing rock paper scissors.

You know, I have recently become enamored with the idea of the Top 5 List, as I’m sure you have gathered from the numerous past blogs in that fashion.  I think that it’s interesting to see what trends and relationships different games share.  However, it’s only a matter of time before these lists devolve into trite ideas like “The Top 5 Headshots in Video Games” or “The Top 5 Witty Remarks in Video Games”.

So I think I’ll take a break from my beloved yet frivolous Top 5′s, and talk a bit more directly on a more serious subject that affects people all over the world, gamers and non-gamers alike: Game Rage.

Urban Dictionary defines Game Rage as “when a person or persons playing a videogame (usually multiplayer) gets so fed up of losing that they suffer an episode of intense rage that usually lasts up to 5 minutes.” They go on to say that the rager may “simultaneously sob, scream unintelligibly at the top of their lungs, and throw random punches at anything solid, such as the floor or the person sitting next to them” and perhaps most importantly, that “despite the person’s efforts, their gameplay is inevitably not improved by this course of action.”

What Urban Dictionary doesn’t tell you is that Fallacious Anger and Ineptitude-based Limitation disorder or F.A.I.L. is a very real and dangerous affliction.

A classic example of FAIL.

Thousands, maybe even millions of gamers across the world suffer from FAIL.  Many gamers suffer from FAIL for years and don’t realize it until they begin experiencing secondary symptoms, such as broken knuckles and lacerations from punching TV’s, loss of dignity, or incontinence.  Although FAIL is not a communicable disease, it can result in annoyance in people experiencing prolonged exposure to someone with FAIL.  This means that someone who spends a lot of time around people afflicted with FAIL should ensure they minimize the effects of annoyance – earplugs/phones to avoid auditory effects, and magazines to avoid eye contact with the unfortunate victim.

Symptoms of FAIL vary widely, depending on the variety and severity of FAIL the individual suffers from.  Relatively common symptoms include shouting (typically statements of disbelief such as “Oh my God!” or “Come on guys!”), respiratory problems (often results in excessive panting, growling or sighing), and minor loss in motor control (dropping the controller, waving hands around, facial twitches).  These can become more serious over time, leading to such outbursts as uncontrolled and unintelligible  profanity and/or racial slurs, hyperventilation, and the spontaneous hurling of various peripherals such as controllers and headsets.  These more serious symptoms are common to the more developed strain – Eclectic Pronounced Intellectually Challenged F.A.I.L. – colloquially known as E.P.I.C.F.A.I.L.

Angrybot suggests the cure to FAIL is to eat bleach and die. Angrybot cannot be trusted.

The true tragedy of FAIL is that while the victim may believe that their symptoms are actually assisting their performance in gameplay, the truth is that every symptom cumulatively hampers their ability to play, increasing their rate of FAIL.  It is a vicious cycle, perpetuating itself until the person collapses under the weight of their FAIL like a dying star.  These meltdowns often mimic a stroke or heart attack, and almost always result in death (of the gamer’s character).

Although FAIL has no known cure at the moment, it is treatable to an extent.  With the proper support,  a person can live a relatively normal life while coping with FAIL.  Video games that feature glitches such as invisible walls and targeting or camera problems should be avoided, as they tend to aggravate symptoms and have the added effect of justifying a person’s FAIL to an extent.  Similarly, multiplayer games should be avoided since they either aggravate FAIL or result in a misconception of gameplay enhancement in the case of letting the person with FAIL win (a truly hurtful idea, since it only perpetuates FAIL in the long term).  When playing a video game with someone with FAIL, it is best to encourage them to relax, and advise that if the game is in fact flawed it can’t be helped at the moment.  Suggesting other media is also encouraged, with the exception of movies or television shows with twist endings, since the realization that their theory on the outcome of the story was incorrect can aggravate FAIL.

This is either because of SCTV or FAIL.

FAIL is not always a life-long condition. Many youths suffering from FAIL sometimes suddenly stop experiencing symptoms, often on or around the age of majority.  The reason for this is currently unknown, though it has been speculated that the condition may disappear as the patient grows up and stops acting like a child.  Unfortunately for some, this never happens.  At all.

If you or someone you know is currently suffering from FAIL, we here at andPOP are happy to assist you to get the help you need.  In the interest of FAIL research, any and all donations are welcome.  Please leave a comment below indicating your preferred method of payment, and a representative of the World Institute to promote Normality (W.I.N.) will contact you.

*disclaimer – The above article is a satire of meaningless PSA’s for disorders that are invented to explain moronic behaviour. If you feel that the above PSA is insensitive or mean, you may be experiencing FAIL.

Cheers!

Read more at andPOP. andPOP - POP Culture with Substance

Helllloooooo!

Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.  This week we’re going to take a look at a group of malevolent, disgusting, and just downright horrible creatures who have terrorized mankind for years.  What’s that? No, not lawyers.  Not even politicians.  This week we are ranking the Top 5 Straight-up Meanest Aliens in Video Games. Almost as long as sci-fi and space opera have been around, there has been the alien creatures to terrorize or befriend the valiant heroes and heroines.  Well, forget about your friendly little green men, suckers, because we’re not talking about Starman or ET tonight, we’re talking War of the Worlds and Jabba the Hutt.  Let’s do this.

‘Ere we go!

5.  The Chimera – Resistance

Resistance 3?

Scary. As. Hell.  Playing Resistance for the first time, everything seems to be as per usual for a WWII shooter, until you turn the corner and see the monstrous Chimera hybrids taking aim at you with their alien weaponry.  At many different points through the game and it’s sequel Resistance 2, you encounter different and even scarier variants of these creatures, like the aquatic Chimera (just when you though it was safe to go back in the water… although let’s face it, it was never safe to begin with).  Especially in Resistance 2, these creatures just get nastier and nastier through the course of the game.  And the most disturbing part of it is that they used to be human.  Captured by the Chimera and genetically altered into the hideous hybrids, the fact is you’re putting down former Earthlings.  And as the series has progressed, the Chimera have evolved.  From the hybrids in Resistance, who needed cooling devices to keep their superheated bodies from pulling an Xbox 360 overheat, to the later evolutions who just burst out of pods throughout the game and come tearing after you, the Chimera use their advanced weaponry and cannibalistic tactics to not only subjugate the human race, but to steamroll them into the fold.  Nasty.

4.  The Geth – Mass Effect

The best part about being Geth? Free satellite radio.

Ever wondered what would happen if the Borg had sex with the Zerg?  The answer is the Geth.  I think that Bioware didn’t want to come off as anti-Semitic by calling them the Zorgberg.  They don’t just kill you – they impale you on large spikes that turn you into cyber-zombies that fight for them.  Zombies! Implacable synthetic foes created as slaves for other, less terrifying aliens (the Quarians), the Geth don’t feel emotion.  They don’t get scared when Commander Shepard blows away 4 of them in as many seconds, they keep coming.  In that respect they are certainly unique – I’m reasonably sure everyone fears Commander Shepard, because he’s a dick.  The biggest dick in the galaxy.  With a Spectre badge, a galaxy’s worth of resources, irrefutable authority, and unlimited spite.  Facing down that with nary a whimper definitely qualifies the Geth their spot on our list.

3.  Necromorphs – Dead Space

No, man! It's not a hug! IT'S A TRAP!

When I played Dead Space, I’m reasonably sure I lost 10 pounds.  5 from sweating in terror every time a Necromorph sprang out of nowhere to attack me, and another 5 from crapping myself the first time it happened.  These things are scary.  Mutated humans with multiple extra limbs, an appetite for human flesh, and faces that make Emperor Palpatine look like Edward from Twilight, these nasties definitely don’t want to be friends.  Like some of our other entries on this list, these nasties used to be human.  But the influence of a man-made virus that reacts with dead tissue results in these brutally ugly, vicious, parasitic and altogether unpleasant zombie-alien hybrids.  And you’re stuck on a barely-functioning spaceship with them.  Not my idea of a great day.

2.  Wrex – Mass Effect

The only reason he isn't kicking ass right now is out of spite.

Urdnot Wrex is a Krogan Battlemaster, which is kind of like a Ping-Pong Grand Master but with less ping-pong and more stomping face.  He’s over 300 years old, and at least 3 centuries of that time has been spent ruining aliens and humans all over the galaxy.  Wrex is a true mercenary, which means he doesn’t take orders from anyone for less than a week’s worth of beer money.   As a matter of fact, the only being in the galaxy that he is intimidated enough by to do what he wants without pay is none other than Commander Shepard, a.k.a The Biggest Dick in the Galaxy (see the Geth entry for further details on Shepard and his badassery).   And you can’t really fault him for that – Shepard is the Chuck Norris of Mass Effect, but without Chuck’s moral code or aversion to punching babies and women in the face.  Another intimidating feature of Wrex that makes him stand out from the very first time you meet him (in a strip club, scaring the crap out of the bouncers) is his deep, baritone voice.  He sounds like Solid Snake in slow motion – underwater. Finally, let’s face it – you have to respect a dude who shoots first, shoots second, kicks ass third, then maybe asks a question later.

1.  Xenomorphs – Aliens vs. Predator

Xenomorph hives actually have great dental plans.

As they’ve constantly been referred to in their media, the “perfect organism” is exactly that – from a certain point of view.  If your idea of the perfect organism involves a parasitic, death-dealing bio-mechanical super-insect from outer space, then sure, they’re perfect.  But for the rest of us, the Xenomorphs (or simply Aliens) are possibly one of the most frightening and disturbing creatures ever to crawl from a human being’s torso (the other being Christopher Walken).  Speaking of crawling out of your torso, the Alien won’t just kill you – they drag you into the darkness, cocoon you and shove an egg down your throat to spawn a brand-new beastie.  One would argue it’s less painful and terrifying to just get killed than suffer through that experience.  And if any of those eggs are sitting around, it doesn’t matter how many of the Aliens you kill – there will always be more.  Designed by a Swiss surrealist with more psychological issues than a crazy-coated nutbar, the Alien is simultaneously brutal, sleek and sexual.  So once again, kind of like Christopher Walken (who incidentally, almost made this list).

Honourable Mention: The Orks – Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine

What's more awesome than an Ork smoking a cigar? Doesn't matter, you're dead.

“Orkses is never beaten in battle.  If we wins, we wins, if we die we die so it don’t count as beat, an’ if we runs for it we don’t die ‘neither, so we can always come back for anuvver go, see?”
That quote alone should guarantee the Orks a spot on this list.  But let’s face it – the Orks earned their spot on this list through brute force, uncompromising devotion to war, and attitude.  A lot of the entries on this list are faceless, inhuman creatures that can’t be easily related to much less understood.  But the Orks speak English (kind of), use weapons similar to ours and even approximate some human mannerisms and cultural cliches!  An Ork is not a slender, Elfy pansy nor a sleek, pseudo-sexy Xenomorph.  He’s a 7 ft. green soccer hooligan with a chainsword and a pistol with a barrel as wide as your fist.  Also, he’s interchangeably roaring like an animal and calling you a “little ‘umie git”. That is pretty much the definition of “feared” and “avoided” and “Chelsea Headhunter”.  It’s also the reason the Imperial Guard have a 94% casualty rate.

If you guys think I missed anyone that should have belonged in the Top 5, or think that maybe one of these other nasties should have been #1, or not on the list at all, let me know below.  Maybe we can do a Round 2!

Cheers!

Read more at andPOP. andPOP - POP Culture with Substance

Hey, doesn't that cloud look like... a person being impaled?

A Movie You Can Control: Cinema’s Effect on Video Games

Ever been watching a movie and wished you could tell the actors that what they’re doing is stupid?  That you have a much better plan that would totally work, and if they would only do that instead, maybe the zombies wouldn’t eat them, or the comrade that was clearly going to inevitably betray them wouldn’t get the chance?  Well I have.  But with the advent of video games in recent years that seemingly make a conscious effort to mimic the pacing and immersive experience of a film, it’s almost like we have the ability to watch a movie that we’re also able to play through and control. For a classic narcissist such as myself, this is clearly the greatest thing to happen to video games since the B-button.

Obviously, cinema precedes video gaming.  However, they are both rooted in the quintessential artistic question, “what if?”  What if humans on a deep-space transport mission encounter a hostile alien life form that kills everyone but a woman who suspiciously resembles Sigourney Weaver?  What if a plumber was somehow transported to a fantasy kingdom in order to save a princess who’s prone to being kidnapped?  What if aliens had invaded Earth during World War II?  Of course I have to stop sometime, but those are all killer ideas that would make great movies/games.  Someone should probably write those down.  You never know what could sell.

Whenever you rent a Star Destroyer, make sure you go for the full insurance coverage.

One thing that video games can offer that a movie can’t is an almost unlimited amount of time in which to tell the story.  Audiences generally won’t sit through an 8, 12, or 32-hour movie, but put a controller in someone’s hands and let them interact with the story they’re experiencing, and you’d be surprised at how long their attention span will last.  Of course, this is not to say that a game necessarily has non-stop action and interaction, but combining great action and cinematic sequences (cutscenes) often results in a very in-depth and engaging game.

When you watch a movie, there’s only as much story as the film can relate in it’s time limit.  What’s that?  I’m repeating myself?  Not hardly, ladies and gentlemen.  What I’m getting at is the director, the writer, and the actors are delivering information to a theatregoer, whereas in a video game, the gamer discovers additional information on their own.  In Resistance and Resistance 2, we could pick up Intel documents, revealing even more of the rich story the actors and narrative help develop.  So the gamer basically gets as much out of a game as he puts in, which puts video games at an advantage over the medium of cinema in how much of a story, or an interesting experience that they can deliver.

Something interesting that I’ve been noticing in games recently is that the shooting of cutscenes, or even gameplay, is developing and evolving similar to cinema.  Think about Metal Gear Solid (here we go).  To say nothing of the cutscenes, the gameplay itself was a revelation in how camera angles can set tension.  Another great example of this is Resident Evil.    Both of these games relied on not being able to see around the next corner until it’s too late, or tactically peeking around said corner.  In addition to this, both of these franchises rely heavily on the element of surprise, much like a thriller or a suspense movie.  Oftentimes it’s what you can’t see that defines tension in a game, or a movie.  Try that theory with Sonic the Hedgehog. Even more recent games have featured the handycam style of filming, adding to the realism of the game experience.  Going from the older style of side-scrolling to the 3rd person or 1st person views, and coming to the free-floating camera that can often be controlled by the player themselves, we have an experience that immerses the viewer/gamer in a way we haven’t seen before.

Ah, the peaceful serenity of Tai Chi.

Eventually, I really wouldn’t be surprised if video games overpowered the medium of cinema in popular culture.  The sheer depth and breadth of a game can often be way more emotional and powerful than a film.  On second thought, never mind that.  People are just too lazy for that to ever happen.  Send them to the cineplex, fill up their popcorn and extra large Big Gulp, and I’ll be trying to stop the Nazi zombiepocalypse.

Hey, Nazi Zombiepocalypse.  That’d make a good movie.

Cheers.

Read more at andPOP. andPOP - POP Culture with Substance

This is what's known as a bad day.

Batman vs. Punisher: Arkham Asylum vs. No Mercy Impressions

I don’t want to get anyone’s hopes up by giving the impression this is a review of Batman: Arkham Asylum.  It’s not.  But I’ve been doing some research into the game, and wanted to rant a bit about the character of Batman as compared to other heroes, specifically the Punisher.  A friend of mine recently compared Batman to the Punisher as being very similar, and I couldn’t disagree more.  Why?  Let’s take a look.

Batman, as we know, began life as Bruce Wayne.  The privileged child of Thomas and Martha Wayne, billionaire from birth.  He never really got the chance to enjoy his good fortune, however.  His parents were killed in a random mugging right in front of his eyes.  I remember Batman at some point saying “I haven’t been a kid since I was 8 years old”.  He never gets over the loss of parents, but not in a whiny-personal “I-miss-Uncle-Ben” kind of way.  More of a fix-the-corruption-and-criminal-environment-that-allowed-this-to-happen way.

What has two thumbs and needs a Redbull? I'm too tired to point at myself but, this guy.

So Bruce disappears off the face of the earth when he’s old enough to actually do it, gains focus on his goal of crime-fighting, and trains his mind and body to do what must be done.  Years later, he reappears in Gotham City as the Dark Knight.  In Arkham Asylum, you will be able take advantage of Batman’s training as a detective and martial arts master with the abilities of a kind of Assassin’s Creed “Eagle-Vision” (but far more in-depth), great combos and other techniques to fight groups of enemies en masse or divide and conquer.

Frank Castle, on the other hand, had a family until they were killed during a picnic in Central Park after witnessing a gangland execution.  After that traumatic event, he dedicated his life to destroying criminals and murderers.  Not fighting crime, but destroying criminals.  He put to use his experience as a war veteran – special operations, infiltration, obviously his mastery of firearms and close combat in his relentless personal crusade.

The Punisher’s skills set (guns, knives and fists) is well expressed in his video games.  In fact, the latest title is a download from the PlayStation Network called Punisher: No Mercy.  A nominally better title could have been Nothing New.  A generic, first-person-shooter that brings nothing to the table except maybe a half hour or so of story play (that’s not a joke), and however many hours of online play you can stomach.  Fire your weapon at thugs until the clip is empty. Reload and repeat.  So like the Punisher himself, who is kind of a one-dimensional character, we have a game that reflects this.  Although to be fair, I wasn’t expecting a racing game – you don’t get Speed Racer. You get the Punisher.

I think that’s a very important note that a lot of games are overlooked for.  The subject content to begin with can more often than not determine how complex, how deep and interesting the rabbit hole can go, or how dry, banal and downright boring a game can be, regardless of how good the mechanics are, if the subject matter is paper-thin.

Batman just won a bet over whether he could kick the Punisher's ass.

As for why Batman and the Punisher are dissimilar, the point is very simple.  The Punisher doesn’t fight crime.  Yeah, I said it.  Punisher kills criminals, takes their money and uses it to finance killing more criminals.  Oh yeah, and that “funding” goes towards black market weapons.  So not only does he do what many criminals already do (rob and kill other criminals) but he’s the black market’s best customer. How can he possibly ever finish his crusade if he perpetuates the system himself?  Of course, that doesn’t matter to the Punisher.  It’s not like he’s worried about crime.  He just wants to kill bad guys.

If Batman and the Punisher existed in the same universe, Batman would track down and capture the Punisher without a second thought.  Why?  Batman fights crime.  Not criminals, but crime – organized and systematic.  He takes down mob bosses, putting them through the legal system so that the entire organization can go down with them.  The Punisher uses a chainsaw to weed his garden, but all he does his create mulch for new weeds to grow.  Batman pulls them out by the roots.

Finn, the exploding furnace clearly says "Caution!" Now you're just being careless.

Don’t worry, this all has a bearing on the games.  When you slide a Batman game into your console, you’re not just expecting a punch ‘em up, one-dimensional game.  Hell, even Batman for the Sega Genesis had more depth than Punisher: No Mercy.  But would you ever expect to see a Punisher game as innovative and intense as Batman: Arkham Asylum?  Maybe.  But I doubt it.  The subject matter of the game almost always determines the quality of the game, providing the execution doesn’t suck anyway. If you make a game about ducks, expect it to quack.

So that was my excuse to rant a bit on the Batman/Punisher comparison.  If anyone thinks I’m completely out of my mind or if you think I missed something that you’d like to mention, then let me know below!  Also, I’d like to know who likes Batman more than Punisher and vice versa.

Better than any Punisher game.

Also, some of you might think I’m bat-biased.  Well, of course that’s true.  Batman rules – who could argue to the contrary?

Cheers!

Read more at andPOP. andPOP - POP Culture with Substance

This week’s topic: Top five video game clichés

Hey readers,

For this week’s rant, I thought I would take a page out of the Brett blog and do a top five list. Not to steal his thunder, but a topic like this has been nagging in my head for a good long while now. This week, I’m going to take a look at the top five clichés that annoy me but often pop up in video games. Perhaps because it works well in that specific title, perhaps because the story writers or coders or someone along the supply chain was lazy, perhaps we will never know but until that point, at least you, the viewers will know how I feel about them.

He does it for his country. He does it for freedom.

5) Fighting for a noble cause

Whether you are fighting through the video game story to save the one you love, the princess, or the entire world nearly every video game out there has you doing something extraordinary for someone else. Call me a little selfish, but I think I would overly enjoy a video game where people kill thousands of monsters / aliens / other people for no other reason than for personal wealth and power. Mario’s saving the princess, Sonic’s saving the forest critters, Master Chief / Marcus Fenix / Commander Shepard are fighting for the human race; hell even Nikko Belic starts fighting to save his cousin. I want to see Snake put an end to all threats on America… then start taking assignments from anyone in the world with enough cash to cover his expenses.

4) Regenerating health

He'll be ok, he just needs to sit down for a minute.

I’ve been playing a lot of Gears of War 2 since the All Fronts Collection DLC came out and one thing that always bugged me is that if you get shot to hell then sit around for a couple of seconds, you’re good to go as if you had never been hit. Not only that but the computer bad guys in these games don’t usually have these same luxuries. I feel like if I got shot at point blank with a shot gun then sat on the couch during the length of a commercial I would still most likely still be pretty upset about the wound… and bleeding… a lot. Somewhat related to this point is how food can give you your health back. Sure, you may be hungry, but that melon won’t seal up the cuts and replace the lost blood. I figure if you’re hurt, chances are you were hit. Deal with it, go visit a hospital lose a week or two in the game and move on.

This lazy bugger's supposed to save the planet?

3) Less than heroic heroes

In my book there are only a few average every day heroes. Firemen, Policemen, anyone really that puts their lives on the line on a daily basis for the greater good. Why haven’t they made an action game that depicts this? Hell, I’d even take an action game where a fireman just by chance gets warped into another dimension and has to use his skills to save an alien planet! What really annoys me is the cliché where you start off as just a kid, or even worse, a dork that gets picked on; who ends up in the wrong place at the wrong time and gets thrown into a world saving position. Not only that but he grows into the role of this amazing hero throughout the game and by the end he’s fighting an amazingly strong monster that the professional warriors could not vanquish, he’s gained massive amounts of gold and magic, and gets the disgustingly hot princess. Then after the war is won with the world saved and everyone oblivious to their near doom, you go home and not mention a single word to anyone and have the high school bullies pick on you again as well as your mother not appreciating you. Jeeze man, tell your mother! Maybe then she’ll be proud enough to talk about you to her friends at the salon… that and you won’t have to hide your gorgeous princess in the closet anymore. On a side note, I would imagine that if some kid all of a sudden got thrown into an adventure that he would surely be killed by the first threat he encountered.

2) Final boss battles

I’m not a huge history buff or anything like that; but from the classes I’ve taken and movies I’ve seen on war it seems to me that more often than not, those leading wars and battles often are strategizers rather than fighters. Brains controlling the brawn. So why is it that in (almost) every video game, the final boss is a super strong mutant, or a giant monster, or Bowser? There are really only two video games I can think of where the boss is actually a person smart enough to organize, strategize, and pull of an invasion / war / plague. The first game that popped into my mind was Sonic the Hedgehog. Dr. Eggman is well… a genius. First off he’s a doctor, he had to go through years of evil education to get that title so I suppose he earned it and learnt a lot on the way. Secondly, all of Sonic’s biggest battles seem to be with the bad doctor’s robots and machines (the evil robot Sonic from Sonic CD and the giant Eggman robot come to mind here). After being beaten by Sonic time after time you would think Eggman would have figured out a way to either slow sonic down or speed himself up; ever think of sticky floors Eggman?

That little goldfish is the boss... not the super strong cat-monster.

The second title made me giggle as I thought about it because I thoroughly enjoyed the idea behind it. I’m talking about Earthworm Jim. Falling into the ‘less than heroic heroes’ cliché, Earthworm Jim was just that, a worm who was lucky enough to have a super powered space suit fall on his head. In Jim’s game, he faces a boss (in all 3 of his console games actually) beyond comprehension. The sheer atrocities this monster has unleashed on the world time and time again has put Jim to the test as this beast had to be stopped at all costs. The boss I speak of is none other than Bob the Killer Goldfish. In Earthworm Jim (the original game), you go through one of the hardest levels in the game only to walk up to Bob, a simple goldfish sitting in a small bowl on a table. He was smart enough to create all these defensive machines and traps… but in the end, he’s just a fish and can’t really put up a good fight. Jim just knocks over his bowl.

If you ask me, the best final bosses should be really simple while the minions directly below them be the super strong, super tough monsters that drive us wild. If anything, the final boss should even be a very graphic enticing cut scene at the end of the game. Now imagine if game creators could make a final boss that was strong AND smart… impossible.

This should be the only reason to drown in a video game.

1) Water

You’re going on a quest where you will face dangers beyond imagination, death around every corner, and in general mean bad stuff. How will you prepare? Work the muscles? Do some weapons training? No matter how much you prepare for your quest ahead you will meet with water at some point and apparently, it will kill you upon contact. This I think is the most frustrating cliché in video games. Sure in Mario games he can swim, he’s a plumber, in fact Mario can swim for days not needing to breath as he traverse the great depths of the sea (with great music in the background). Even Sonic was able to swim (but had to steal air bubbles to survive). What really hurts my brain is when super soldiers, bad ass fighters, even freakin Frogger die the moment they come in contact with natures abundant H2O. Even if you can’t swim why not bring a flotation device and keep it in your inventory. Falling into a puddle should not make me have to backtrack for a half hour and try again with one less life.

Honourable mention: Barrels and boxes

Why are some boxes perfect for cover while others are meant to be broken and hold weaponry in the middle of the street or fully cooked pork roasts? How does our hero know which boxes to dive behind in a gun fight and which to smash to find a secret item? Just once I’d like to see these two mix together and have you hide behind a crate only to have it fall apart when shot at.

And while we’re on the topic, why are all red barrels and boxes explosive? Why are there so many explosive barrels in video games? Have you yourself ever seen a highly flammable barrel in real life that was red? I feel like if I ever saw one I would hide behind a nearby crate (hopefully not one holding a lead pipe) and throw rocks at the barrel until it blew up.

Well, there you have it, my first list-organized rant on andPOP. I hope you enjoyed it and if you have any other clichés you think should have made the list feel free to post a comment below. Heck, if you thought my rant was lame, let me know too! I’m always open to constructive criticism. Except if you tell me that these clichés are or are not in specific games, these are good fun filled generalizations here for your entertainment.

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Bullets and Blades – The Top 5 Weapons in Modern Gaming

What would Link be without his sword?  Samus Aran without her patented arm-mounted gun that doesn’t resemble Mega Man’s at all?  Other cliches without their weapons?  With the possible exception of Street Fighter and/or Mortal Kombat, many games have legendary heroes and villains that wield weapons and armor of a similarly epic nature.  This week, we’ll be looking over another Top 5 List, this time focusing on the greatest gear in gaming, and who wields it.

I’d like to mention right off the bat that the Mega Man Blaster or the Master Sword won’t be making an appearance in this list.  When I say weapons in modern gaming, I’m talking new games from the Playstation 2/Xbox era forward.  As much as I would like to mention epic weapons from times past (cough – Masamune! – cough) let’s stick to the more current list.  With that in mind, let’s take a look at our list!

You don't view Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris views you.

Honourable Mention:  Chuck Norris

I can’t even start this list without mentioning the Norris… seriously, I can’t because I fear his reprisal.  In case you were wondering, the reason that no weapon is listed is because Chuck Norris is a weapon. It has been said that there is no chin behind that epic beard, only another fist.  He does not sleep – he waits.  If you have 5 dollars and Chuck Norris has 5 dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.  I could continue forever but I fear the Norris would grow impatient, so let’s move on to our next entry in our top 5.  You laugh now, but I’m not the one who’s going to get a roundhouse kick to the face.

I had a gun like that once. I was asleep though, and when I woke up the sheets were wet.

5.  The Chainsaw Bayonet – Gears of War

It doesn't make julienne fries, but it will destroy your face.

Ahh, the eternal conundrum – should I break out the assault rifle, or the chainsaw?  I know I hate that decision, but we’re in luck – with the chainsaw bayonet attachment to the Lancer assault rifle.  As a last-ditch  weapon, the chainsaw can be effective – but more often than not, in GoW it’s generally a seldom-used weapon.  It’s ineffectiveness takes nothing away from it’s sheer awesomeness, though.  My only real problem with it is that it’s been done. Over 20 years ago by a little company names Games Workshop in their Warhammer 40,000 tabletop game.  You’ll get a much better idea of the badassery that is the chainsword in Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine which will hopefully be released soon on the Xbox 360 and PS3.  Until then, GoW has the monopoly on face-shredding chainblades.  Enjoy it while you can, Gears of War.

The only Chinese knockoff worth owning.

4.  The Gauss Rifle – Fallout 3 Operation: Anchorage DLC

Maybe it’s just because I’m a huge nerd, but gauss weapons turn me on.  If you’re familiar with the theory behind them (and I mean, who isn’t, right?) then maybe you get why.  Anyway, the Gauss Rifle is arguably the best gun in Fallout 3, along with the Tesla Cannon.  With phenomenal range, damage and a scope to match, this weapon would terrify Raiders and Ghouls alike if the AI was smart enough to recognize the gun before it blows their faces off.  Eh… it’s more fun this way anyhow.

3. The Handheld Ore Cutter Line Gun: Dead Space

I was going to make an Amy Winehouse comment, but then I didn't care.

The Line Gun.  After creeping through the shadows of the Ishimura, jumping at every noise or movement, I think the game starts to turn around after finding this weapon.  Well of course, it’s not really a weapon anyway – it’s a tool.  Used to cut boulders down to size, it can be used equally efficiently to cut the Necromorphs infesting the ship down to bite-size pieces (bite-sized, get it?  ‘Cause they’re trying to eat you – nevermind).  Although to be fair, even though I felt way more confident with the Line Gun in my arsenal, it did not help me when I got cocky and mauled to death by mutant zombie cannibal space monsters.  So the drawback to the Line Gun is really that it only works well when the person using it isn’t a ponce.

I cut this down in GIMP. Nothing else in this picture mattered.

2.  The Blades of Chaos: God of War

I believe I mentioned Kratos in another article as being one of the most badass “heroes” of all time, but what makes him badass?  The fact that he’s a Spartan? His defiance of an entire pantheon of gods? His frequent threesomes with Greek wenches?   The answer is yes.  More accurately, the answer is no – the Blades of Chaos gifted to Kratos brought him from the merely badass to the epic shin-kicking, face-stomping killer of puppies we know and love.  Two swords that look like Tim Burton’s kitchen knives on chains.  What’s that?  A harpy flying over you, causing trouble?  No problem.  Just whip a sword at it, swing it around just for the collateral damage, and snap it back to your hand all with the press of a button.  Easy as taking candy from a baby.  Kratos does that, too.

1.  The Knife: Every Game That Ever Had It.

You don't even have time to say "Balls."

I know, it sounds weird.  Topping this list with the weapon that most games start you off with or only include as a crappy backup weapon?  But consider a couple of games that use the knife as possibly the deadliest weapon in the game, and that’s for three reasons: dominance, stealth, and infinite ammo.

The Metal Gear series is a perfect example of where knives go very right or very wrong (yes, I know I’m a MGS addict – bear with me).  In MGS and MGS2, there wasn’t really a knife, as it was all punches and kicks in close combat (and the combat system was super awkward anyway).  MGS3 and 4, however, introduced the knife in a system they called CQC (Close Quarters Combat) which allowed you to completely dominate the enemy to the point where they couldn’t even fight back.  Turok for the PS3 showcased the knife even in the demo – as a weapon that could allow you to massacre an enemy without them ever fighting back.

As for stealth, what weapon is more silent and deadly at the same time than a knife in well-trained hands?  In both Metal Gear Solid and Turok, the knife is introduced to give the ability to disable or kill an enemy without compromising silence or stealth.  Especially in MGS, where the knife can be held to the throat and used to force the enemy into a more secluded space where they can then be owned beyond recognition.

Finally, infinite ammo – need I say more?  You don’t need to reload a knife, and even if you happen to throw it at the enemy, you can usually pull it out of them when you’re done.  Bullets don’t get a re-throw.

If you have any contributions to the list of greatest weapons in modern games, send it below!  See you next week.

Cheers.

Read more at andPOP. andPOP - POP Culture with Substance

He can remix a song before the original band has finished recording it.

High Score:  Music in Video Games

Dah-dah-dah doo dah-da – duh.  If you totally called that as the beginning of the Mario theme, then you’re one step ahead of this article.  If you didn’t, prepare to be schooled baby.

Music has always been a part of video games, with a few minor exceptions (Pong, anyone?).  From the classic themes of the Mario franchise to the epic scores of Halo and Metal Gear Solid, music has provided a strong influence on the tone and theme of the game in question.  By the way, Guitar Hero doesn’t count.

I remember listening to the Hill Top Zone theme from Sonic the Hedgehog 2 when I played it as a young whippersnapper.  I also remember it from my iPod last week.  Why? Because it was a great piece of music, 16-bit or no.  More recently, the insanely good score from Metal Gear Solid 2, with a full orchestra and composed by Harry Gregson-Williams (The Replacement Killers, Enemy of the State, Phone Booth, and even the Shrek franchise – but we won’t hold that against him) totally kicked my ass via my eardrums.  Two very different styles of composition and undertaken very differently, but they had the same result – Sonic and MGS are two of my favourite series of games.  Coincidence?  I think not.

Just so you know, he's composing something badass right now.

On the other hand, games that simply don’t put too much effort into their musical score tend to bother me.  I’m not saying it’s easy – a composer that is writing the score for a movie knows exactly how much time he has, whereas a video game score composer  must take into account that every gamer takes it at his own pace.  But that frequently becomes an annoyance in games like Dynasty Warriors 6: Empires (or the whole series, for that matter), which a friend of mine has been playing recently.  I don’t care for the games to begin with, but I don’t mind sitting around on the computer while he plays.  But eventually (sooner than later) I have to ask him to turn it down and I drown it out with some iTunes, because the terrible 30-minute looping electric guitar solo that is the soundtrack for that game makes me want to punch a baby, as Dane Cook so eloquently put it.

And I generally like babies.

Since orchestral scores have become more commonplace and appreciated in modern video games, it has gotten to the point where you can buy the soundtrack.  A friend of mine made me listen to the Halo score before I ever played the game, and it was so epic that I played it almost exclusively for that reason (the books were also awesome, contributed by the same friend.  The guy loves the Master Chief.  I’m reasonably sure he wants to have his babies). You would never have been able to buy the soundtrack for Out of This World, and probably never will.  Why?  Because it sucked.  Also, that was the hardest game I have ever played, and so I deny anything good about it.

I took a break just now to download the Halo soundtrack so I could listen to it while I write this.

Little-known fact: MJOLNIR armour includes a built-in iPod.

Video game music has been such an inspiration and source of creativity for artists across the world for so long and had such a universal impact that many orchestras have played famous tunes from their favourite games (or at least, their conductor’s favourite games).  Don’t believe me?  YouTube it, baby.  As a matter of fact, PLAY! A Video Game Symphony is a symphony world tour featuring music exclusively from the video game world.  From MGS to the Final Fantasy series to Silent Hill, this show showcases some of the best gaming music out there.  Now if only they’d tour their way back to Toronto, I could try and get tickets and not get them because they’re sold out again and cry myself to sleep listening to video game soundtracks at home and drinking copious amounts of beer.  Maybe that was too personal.

Other ways artists have celebrated the video game score is by remixing it or doing a cover.  There are so many Mario theme covers it’s not even funny.  My personal favourite is Vadrum.  Write that down.  Plenty of indie bands, at least on the Canadian scene, have done covers of their own, varying from famous 16-bit themes to more modern stuff.

All that music and it only costs 40 gold coins. Or 100 rupees.

Basically, although a score won’t save a video game from bad gameplay or a terrible story, it can make the difference between a good gaming experience and the truly epic, memorable games that stay with us for years and years.  And by stay with us, I mean stay on our playlists.  So let me know what scores and songs are your favourites from the games you’ve played, and any cool covers or remixes that have been done for them.

Personally, it doesn’t get any better for me than when System of a Down sings Link!

Cheers.

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Spider-Man has an equal opportunity costume in Web of Shadows.

Ok, so for the past week or so I’ve been on a Spider-Man: Web of Shadows binge.  Nothing but web-slinging through New York, symbiotes and ass-kickery.  It has been awesome – definitely the best “comic-book superhero” game I’ve played in some time, if not ever (I wasn’t going to include comic-book just now, but then I remembered inFAMOUS and Prototype).  So that got me thinking how many bad superhero games I’ve played. That got me thinking about how much worse those games could have been if they were about even crappier superheroes – I mean, even Spider-Man 3 had Spider-Man in it, right? So, with that in mind, I’d like to present:

5 Superheroes That Should Never Be in Video Games

*disclaimer – if a game has already been made that should contain one of these characters, then there’s no need to mention it – the damage has been done.

5.  Ant-Man

The one cool thing Ant-Man ever did.

So, you can control ants.  Oh, and shrink yourself?  That’s… interesting.  I guess those are kind of neat side-powers to your main power of… oh, that’s it.  So let’s build a game around a guy who can do all these amazing things.  We could have a mission where you ruin a picnic, or have to avoid a kid with a magnifying glass and too much time on his hands.  Or maybe just slap together a bad racing game where you either run next to ants, or ride an ant against other ants.  I don’t even know if he can control red and black ants or just black ants.  You know what, Ant-Man?  Just go away.

4.  Green Lantern

It's too bad the Green Lantern couldn't use that ring to give himself a set of balls.

Ever had the feeling in a video game that you should be able to do something that you couldn’t?  Like not being able to climb something as Spidey or break something as Superman?  Well that’s what it would feel like to play a Green Lantern game.  Anything that comes my way, I’d have an idea for a “green energy _______” to stop it.  Conversely, you or anyone else could come across the same situation and have a completely different way of solving it with your “green energy _______”.  It is possible to have too much freedom in a game, but to ever play as Green Lantern you would totally need it.

Also, I hate Green Lantern.  Oh, I have a magic ring!  Choke on it.

3.  Daredevil

Ah, the bright red creature of the night.

Ah, Daredevil – not even mentioning the terrible movie starring Ben Affleck, I’ve never really cared much for the Man Without Fear.  Besides the fact that it’s kind of an oxymoron to have a lawyer as a hero of any sort, Daredevil in a game would come across as kind of a Spidey clone without the cool.  Swinging and jumping around New York fighting crime isn’t cliched at all, right? Anyway, Daredevil is kind of like a discount Dark Knight – he’s basically a blind, poor Batman with a law degree.

2.  Captain Marvel

Way to take every 10-year old's fantasy and use it to be the biggest pansy of all time.

Gradeschool by day, crimefighting by night.  That’s a lawsuit waiting to happen.  Captain Marvel is perhaps the cheesiest superhero of all time, with his powers derived from mythological figures (literally) and the word that gives him his power: Shazam!  So we basically have Superman, but his alter-ego is a 10 year old boy.  What kind of game would that be – half of it is a Superman clone, and the other is finishing your multiplication tables and going through puberty?  No thanks.  Also, any game that could or would feature a “Shazam!” button should never happen.

All five elements: earth, fire, wind, water, and cheese.

1.  Captain Planet

I’m actually trying not to laugh thinking about how terrible Captain Planet is.  Can you imagine a video game starring this flamboyantly gay, green mullet-sporting disaster of a superhero?  Would he  even bother to stop a robbery if the robbers used a hybrid getaway car?  Forget battles of epic proportions, races against time, as Captain Planet, you’ll be fighting… pollution?  Toxic waste?  Nothing?  Captain Planet saves the day, by recycling that soda can that a much cooler superhero dropped in the park on his way to deal out some actual justice.  You’d be playing a game where you have to recycle and plant trees.  No.  Probably the only good action in the game would be fighting Captain Pollution, and even then it would probably just be them waiving doilies at each other at a tea party.  On a side note, that South American kid with the Heart ring had no value to the Planeteers at all.  Terrible.

Honourable Mention:  Aquaman

Lastly, one that almost made the list is the fishy failure that is Aquaman.  I’d really, really like to go into further detail about the character, but I’d have to Wikipedia that, and nobody cares anyway.  If I wanted to play a boring aquatic game, I’d play Ecco the Dolphin again.  Although to be fair, a dolphin has more personality than Aquaman.

Although a failure as a superhero, Aquaman could have a very lucrative sushi enterprise.

Alright everyone, after this massive video game crapshoot I need to go take a shower.  If you have any other ideas for comic-book superheroes that shouldn’t ever have their own games, let me know below!  Perhaps I’ll do another installment if there’s enough craptacular characters I didn’t mention here.

Cheers!

Read more at andPOP. andPOP - POP Culture with Substance

Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Games. Have you heard of these? MMORPGs and they’re sucking the life out of us one by one. Sure, they were harmless enough back when only a couple of your friends would ever play Everquest, but now… now they’ve become mainstream, and as such, I wouldn’t be surprised if you could think of at least a dozen friends that drain away (I won’t say waste) at least 3 hours a day playing in these virtual worlds.

For those unfamiliar with MMORPGs, they’re role playing games, where you create and customize a character with a specific race and class, and battle though quests and explore vast lands. The difference between these kinds of RPGs and traditional RPGs are that a) MMORPGs are played exclusively online with millions (and I mean millions) of other people around the world, and b) they do not have an end. No matter how long you play, no matter how far you get and how strong you become, there will never be a final battle, there will never be an ending credits sequence, and there will never be a “the end” screen. If you get close enough to beating everything and a high enough level that you’ve done everything there is to do, you can always create another character, get all the best items, or even wait for the next expansion that give more quests and sometimes a higher level cap.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love MMORPGs, I’ve played Everquest for a year, Final Fantasy 11 for a good 2 years when it first came out (and again for a couple of months this year), and World of Warcraft for a couple of years as well, and I know first hand the benefits and detriments these games have. First off, they’re a blast to play! I’m not sure what it is about them that make me keep wanting to come back for more, but the idea of playing with millions of other real people gets me excited (and if you know me, you know my favourite feature a game can have is online co-op… but that’s for another rant down the line). As well, for some reason I don’t get bored of MMOs as quickly as I do action, adventure, or even tradition RPGs. Finally, the camaraderie created from clans and groups creates a second world for you where you can become anyone you want. Now, for the negative aspects of these types of games, well first off, the majority of these titles have a monthly fee of $10 to $15 on top of having to purchase the game in the first place (although the initial purchase price is starting to decrease / fade away). This monthly fee makes me want to play more though, as I want to get my money’s worth every day. This leads to the second negative pitfall of MMORPGs, they are addictive as hell. In fact, they are so addictive that most these titles have warning at the beginning saying not to neglect your loved ones, social life, school, or work. And they mean it! I’ve read horror stories of marriages ending because of MMORPGs, I’ve seen my own grades and social life decrease when I get enthralled in one; I even read a news story in the past week that a young man died of starvation and dehydration due to an extremely long quest in one of these MMO titles. The threat of taking you over is indeed real, so as a gamer, as a member of the planet earth, I ask that if you have an addictive personality, DO NOT start playing these games, they may very well ruin your life.  The third big drawback of MMORPGs is that while you might get a little buzz from finishing a big challenging quest or finding the armour you were looking for, for months, you will never get the ultimate high of beating the game, it will never happen, there will never be a last mission or final boss. In fact, past MMORPGs that have stopped offering servers and quit the business never had an ending they just ceased to exist, or for the bigger titles, they went out with a bang, millions of monsters and a final explosion destroying the entire world.

Games like this have taken hours upon hours away from my life

Now on to the part the really boils my blood. It was hard to quit Everquest, it was hard to quit Final Fantasy 11 (so much so that when I quit in 2003, I went back to it again in 2005, and again this year), it was hard to quit World of Warcraft. Now that I finally quit FF11 (again) and deleted the game a week ago, I struggle daily not to join my friends again in Warcraft and now with the sweet trailers for Star Wars: The Old Republic (looking so much better than the horrible Star Wars MMORPG released years ago), and now the announcement of another Final Fantasy based MMORPG set as Final Fantasy 14, I wonder how much longer I can hold out before I join the virtual world again. I fear that this is actually the first step in some sort of futuristic horror where robots begin to harvest humans (Terminator, Matrix, Transformers, whatever you want to compare it to). The get you first to feel comfortable, enjoy the game, charge you a little money to make you feel like you WANT to play constantly to get your monies worth. The next step is that you invested so much time and money on your character that you feel like he’s become an extension of you, by this point you can easily sink 5 hours straight sitting in a chair barely moving your body while you continue to quest. The next stage is what we might be seeing in the future, accessories that you plug into your computer, wrap around your hands and connect directly to the internet, the machines can use this technology to begin creating facilities to harvest. The final step is getting us to cocoon ourselves in USB driven pods where tubes will connect directly to our spines and such the bodily fluids directly from our drained corpses, and we’ll let them too because we’re too enthralled in the game to do anything about… Well, let me tell you something future machines of destruction, I will not passively stand by and let you enslave us for your own survival; humans make machines, and humans will break machines, they were created from our own intelligence we cannot let them surpass us, and on this day I vow to fight back, for our games, for our families, for our survival.

The resistance is here machines, what will you do now?

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This past week on Penn and teller’s show, “Penn and Teller: Bullsh*t” they tackled the topic of video games, and namely video game violence. Now, I’ve dabbled in my own research dissecting violence in video games and their effect on the youth from a strictly ethical point of view (no psychology or any other brain rape involved) and it all came down to a small number of children not being able to tell the difference between real life and fantasy… Either that or negligent parents who provide their kids with M rated games at the age of 10 (more on this later).

In this episode, Penn and Teller (I still don’t understand why a show that revolves around debate and speech has half their talent being a mute) talk about the huge amounts of revenue flowing in from video games, the wave of violent crimes depicting video game copying and those deemed to stop them (Jack Thompson, Hillary Clinton, and some guy with a balding pony tail) but also take the reverse approach and provide a 9 year old gamer with a real assault rifle… how can it go wrong? The 28 minute video begins by making a strong comparison, video game violence to us is like three stooges violence to our parents, makes sense already doesn’t it? With every generation there comes a form of entertainment (or violence) the generation before doesn’t quite understand, while three stooges rarely ever dealt with guns or murder, I peg this as just the progression of the times, desensitization from the news, and newer technologies taking precedence.

Don’t get me wrong, a slap to the back of the head is a lot better than a gunshot to the gut, but the generations before didn’t have this type of technology, if they did, perhaps this wouldn’t be as big an issue as it is now (and I fear to think what our kids will be looking at as entertainment in the future if we’re ok with virtual violence). While a number of critics might think Penn and Teller’s show is indeed, BullSh*t, they did raise a number of important points. Almost every single study into video game violence on youth (both pro and con for video games) is completely bias and agenda driven. This can be seen from both sides throughout the show and based on papers I have researched in the past. Secondly, just because one enjoys violent games, doesn’t mean they enjoy violence. I mean… it COULD mean that… but it doesn’t always mean that. This was shown in the half hour show by allowing a sweet innocent game playing 9 year old shoot a rifle… ONCE… and that lead him to tears on national television. The third point this show left me with was their last, if video games had been around for generations, and football was all of a sudden introduced to the world; what would we think about football? A violent sport in which physical contact and taking one down are requisites to the game, and which by the way, have relatively high injury rates compared to oh… I don’t know, video games?  Aside of course, from a pulled muscle playing Dance Dance Revolution or a sore thumb after a night of gaming).

This cannot end well...

Overall I think video game violence issues fall into five broad categories:

1)      Children who don’t have the mental capacity to tell the difference between fantasy and reality.

2)      Negligent parents who ignore the ESRB ratings on boxes and don’t pay attention to what their kids play (Hey… I was one of these kids).

3)      Game stores selling M rated games to minors; if you can’t buy cigarettes, alcohol, or adult rated videos and magazines under age, why should you be able to buy adult rated games?

4)      People who use video games as scapegoats for their violent acts (like the guy in the UK who blamed Grand Theft Auto as the reason he stabbed a man to steal his sneakers… there aren’t any sneakers in GTA!).

5)      And finally, the generally deranged.

Should these games be discontinued? Should they be banned? Is it the developers fault or the parents? Does legal ramification come into play when dealing with ESRB ratings? I know how I feel about the topic (parents and game stores should be the ones you point fingers at, not the game companies or the people playing them), how do you feel? I welcome to virtual floor to debate, praise, or hate mail. After all, it’s just entertainment, no one gets up in a huff when kids watch violent movies (Power Rangers ring a bell?).

Rant over.

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This is the summer of the Fighting game!! YES it IS!!
So today I will be going over some of the new releases in the last four months or so, and give you reasons to pick up a controller and knock the other guy out.

And if none of the new releases tickle your fancy, then I have got a list of old greats that are sure to keep the fighting spirit ALIVE!!!! SO BROTHA LETS GET THIS STARTED!!!

In the last little while we have had some old franchises return, some new updates, and some classics sent our way. In fact, if I can honestly count the number of hours I have spent playing a fighting game this year; it would rival if not beat the combined total amount of time I have spent sleeping last year. THAT’S A FACT!

First off I’m going to shed some light on Punch-Out for the Nintendo Wii, a true return to the franchise maybe bit too true. In fact the game has the same mechanic behind it. Boss pattern memorization may sound odd in this day and age, but to a classic that wasn’t broke why go and fix it. Besides some new characters and a multilayer mode the reason you should get this is if you’re an old school gamer.

The nostalgia factor is off the charts and lets be honest I am stunned by the art design of the game.

Truly fun to gather around some peeps and try and take on the boxers as a group, or try and take out each other with some smart waggle control that actually makes sense. With no online play, this title is best left for gatherings.

Available only on the Nintendo Wii.

Now if that ain’t your style, then maybe Fight Night Round 4 is.  With over 48 boxers from around the globe, new inside boxing mechanics, and perfect stick control; this title stands out as the best boxing simulator. It looks gorgeous and besides a couple of gripes (why no face buttons… yet) things are pretty fun.

This is the type of game to crack out before an actual fight and get hyped. A couple of drinks, some random boasting and bragging and nothing settle the score better than this title. Well you could go ahead and box for real, but let’s face it, it’s too much effort. With solid online play, things are looking good.

Available for PS3 and 360.

Steering away from the boxing games, we have what I think is the biggest surprise thus far, UFC 2009 Undisputed.
The game is MMA- mixed martial arts, and centers around a simple context – two men go in the octagon…one man comes out.

With controls that are easy to learn and get into yet provide the depth necessary for the vets;  this title controls like a dream. What makes this game stand out is its nature. The unpredictability of fighting is brought into the light, 1st round knock outs never felt better. The game actually pays attention to your stance, opening, position and strength. Possibilities like knocking a guy out within the first 10 seconds if he is not careful are not only real but fun to mock afterwards.
If you’re a skilled fighter you can be as technical as you want and push it to as many rounds as you like.
Stamina, health, injuries, and other essentials are factored in but never cluttered on the games interface. This helps create an immersible experience. This title is best played online and off.

Available for PS3 and 360.

now we enter the cool realm, fighting games that aren’t really a sport.
Street Fighter 4 is without a doubt the most ambitious fighter on the list and the best buy for any fighting fan.
New cool pseudo 3d looks and a 2d fighting plane means back to the good old days (lets not remember street fighter and its 3d experiments) and with an official numbering of the title you know its gonna be good. Just like street fighter 3!
I got to say at first glance it’s all too familiar and simple but the more you dive in the more you learn that focus attacks, focus canceling and ex moves/ cancels, create a new level of skill waiting to be mastered. With gorgeous art, music and some of the flashiest ultras out there…this is a true return.  Aside from some small online gripes- such as everyone playing as ken… or the fact that you can’t be in an online room with more than 2 players (WHAT???) things are handled nicely with its ranked matches, stats and replay options.  OH one more thing…probably the worst downloadable content ever… I mean alternate costumes are gonna cost you!! WHY CAPCOM!!!??
But hey if I can sing praise for this game even after that! It’s a BUY!! MUST BUY for PS3, PC and 360.

Now then fans of the GUILTY GEAR SERIES!!! The original team has put forth their hand-drawn efforts to a new franchise. The original creators give you BLAZBLUE!! An oddly named game but one that you’ll never forget after some time with the title.  The combo friendly fighter packs some of the sharpest 2d visuals on any next gen console. With some intense and amazing metal/rock ballads fueling your fights, an online system that has Street Fighter in shame (6 player lobbies!! viewing rivals fight while you wait!!! AWESOME!!) And the finest art style since Guilty Gear. You’ll be wowed at the level of complexity of the fighting engine. Everything goes here, air combos, cancels air juggles, and combo breakers…. the list go on. The most comprehensively deep fighter available on the market! This is for the hardcore!! The real deal baby!!

And if you’re new to the fighting mechanic? Well with some easy combos you’ll be jamming in no time!
To put it simply, this is the most rewarding audio-visual fighting experience thus far.
And did I mention the art is gorgeous??

Now then, I hear you wanted to check out Guilty Gear? Well it’s funny since a new update of the old franchise hit shelves this year
Guilty Gear accent Core Plus, for Wii and PS2! The Classic insane metal rock fighter. Now with the complete roster and insane finishers. Granted the engine is from last gen and some of the sprites were designed for standard def T.V s… but don’t let that stop you from enjoying a rewarding fighter. With some historically cool rock icon named characters such as … Ino, Axl, Sol badguy, etc!!! And some intensely entertaining fight mechanics this is a good buy that will cost you around $39.99.

And now for the rest, the older titles but great ones none the less.
Ill make a list of fighters you should be playing this summer.
Keep in mind these are last year old…

1. Smash Bros Brawl – ICONIC Nintendo Brawler. Now with Sonic and the legendary Solid snake! Nothing beats Smash bros Brawl. The best 4 player brawler! And with a good online foundation and deep single player and challenges (they even have a trophy room) the most value for your money out of ANY FIGHTER THIS YEAR AND LAST. It’s Smash bros… nuff said

2. SoulCalibur 4 – I keep talking about gorgeous next gen graphics… but this is HONESTLY the BEST LOOKING 3D FIGHTER THUS FAR! It came out last year and it still has tekken 6(not released yet… fall of ’09) beat. With the best weapons based fighter title and some fun online set-ups, this is truly a MUST BUY for ps3 or 360… oh and it has Darth Vader, Yoda, and Star Killer as playable bonus characters!! Heck you can create your own fighter if you want too.

3. Street Fighter 2 HD REMIX
Street fighter 2 with HD graphics, you can’t go wrong. On XBLA and PSN only.

4. Naruto Ninja Storm
for PS3 only.. A true sequel to the 2d fighter many of us never played (but I and so many fans of the anime did)
Gorgeous visuals and some hilarious battles make this a for the fans only title. Lack of online  play hurts but then again get some people in a room and watch their jaw drop on the insane cartoon visuals.

5.  Tekken 5 Dark Resurrection for PSN only.
Can’t wait for Tekken 6? Well this will have to do! The best game to crack open with you got 10 people and few gamers… Fun, easy, a button mashers dream! Until you face a skilled opponent! Fun for everyone!
OK that about does it for me…. NOW KEEP ON FIGHTING BROTHAAA

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Franchise Games We’d Like to See – Firefly

I’ll be 100% honest with you.  I’m totally watching Firefly right now, as I write this article.  Such a rich universe, interesting characters and amazing balance between action and comedy, the short-lived cult hit TV series Firefly and it’s cinematic companion Serenity completely blew me away when I first encountered them.  It never occurred to me whether or not they would make a good video game until just now, as I sat down to write my latest blog.  In that spirit, here is the first in (hopefully) a series of articles I like to call “Franchise Games We’d Like to See”.

**disclaimer – I realize that one of these articles may be posted after an announcement of an actual game coming out in the future.  In that case, I don’t care.

Just in case you thought it gets better than this... it doesn't.

Joss Whedon’s space drama is potentially the most viable for a video game, perhaps even more so than proven franchises such as Star Wars.  Humankind has colonized the galaxy from Earth, and since degenerated into a Wild West on a new frontier.  Before we left Earth, our society became more homogenized – basically, the USA and China became the w0rld’s two major superpowers and after (maybe) hundreds of years, American (not English, American) and Mandarin are the two prominent languages; as a matter of fact, pretty much everyone is bilingual, although Mandarin is usually reserved for curses.  So when we colonized the galaxy, we terraformed the planets and settled in.  Except the outer planets, with inferior terraforming and technology, wanted to remain independent colonies from the central planets, who had formed the Alliance.  A civil war ensues, and the Independents lose.  But the outer systems remain relatively lawless except under the heavy hand of the Alliance military.  So we have our good guys, our bad guys, and – wait.  There’s more bad guys.  The Reavers – psychotic space cannibals who are like futuristic Vikings on PCP.  Bonus.  So I guess we have room for more than one faction, with a common enemy.  That’s good cake.

She may not look like much kid, but she's got it where it counts.

So what I’d like to examine second is what kind of game Firefly would translate best into.  Some franchises lend themselves better to first person shooters, others to 3rd person adventure games and some even to racing systems.  I think Firefly would be best approached from the perspective of Mass Effect or a similar RPG.  A crew of space pirates, sharing the spoils of war and crime as they fly throughout space under the radar of the Alliance (think Galactic Empire Lite).  As a matter of fact, I think that the Mass Effect engine would require little to no modification to accommodate the Firefly universe.  That Firefly doesn’t have as many straight-up combat and war situations as Mass Effect doesn’t really matter – the game would have to be relatively combat heavy – got to keep it interesting, right?  The only other alternative I can really think of would be an MMORPG, but for simplicity’s sake, let’s keep this on a console level.

The Wild West in space. Without Will Smith. It's not all bad.

So if you’re going to play, what do you want to play as? A backwater smuggler (cough-Han Solo-cough), or a hardened veteran hiring his gun out to a team of brigands? Maybe an ace pilot, an engineer, or simply a rogue trying to make his way in the world (uh, galaxy)?  This franchise could offer a wide variety of characters to play, and an immersive and rich universe to play them in.  So hopefully, with class and without losing any dignity…

Please, please, please make a Firefly game!

Cheers.

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Now, I’m just gonna start typing and see where it takes me. This is a free for all blog rant and I have no intentions of a specific topic this week.

I just stared at my computer screen for five minutes… this isn’t going to work.

I like video games, I like them alot. Not to a point where I would rather sit down on a weekend evening and play instead of being social… but a few titles out there have gotten me close to that point. I also play a lot of games, one of the perks to this job is that playing games and reading about gaming news is part of my job description! So this past week I went to my local EB games to trade in a few titles and pick up something new, I must have spent a good 45 minutes looking through the Xbox 360 used section, new section, PS3 used section, new section, Wii used section, new section, DS used, new, PSP used, new (as you can tell, I try to save some cash where I can) and after going through every one of these sections, I didn’t really see any titles I would be willing to spend the cash on!

It’s not like there are good titles out there that I wouldn’t want to try: Punchout, Street Fighter 4, Call of Juarez, Fight Night Round 4 for example. It’s just that for the most part, I know that these games just won’t keep my interest long enough to warrant a purchase, perhaps a rent, but that’s about as far as I would be willing to go. I realize this is getting dangerously close to my other rant about games not keeping my interest for long enough periods of time however, so I will move on.

I feel the video game industry is growing too large too quickly. When it gets to a point where gamers are expecting a blockbuster game title to come out every week and getting upset when there comes a week (such as this one) where the biggest title that excites you is the virtual console release on the Wii of Commodore 64′s California Games, things just have to slow down.

Don’t get me wrong, the fact that the video game industry is bigger than both the music and box office industries combined (says Cammie Dunaway in her press conference for Nintendo at E3) is fantastic for those that love making games as well as playing games. Developers and publishers gain bigger budgets and prestige for creating that amazing game, and gamers around the world get to enjoy the higher level of gaming that comes with the territory. At the same time however, the gamers, the fans themselves become in a sense, spoiled. It will get to a point that those that have a certain budget per month on buying or renting games will begin to get every ‘must have’ title out there and either only have a week to play each title, or become frustrated that they can’t get all the big names with their current budget.

Could Mario be the key to world peace?

It scares me to think of what will happen if the gaming industry continues to grow at such an alarming rate. In my mind there are three bad scenarios and two great scenarios of the outcome if gaming continues at this pace. First bad scenario is that the holiday season will create such a backlog of must-have games that people will only purchase games during the holiday season and at such a high level of products being purchased that they have enough games to last them until the next holiday season ignoring all the gems that are released throughout the year. The second bad scenario is that those that create short, cheap, poor quality games will flood the market with even more titles, trying to grab cash with low budget titles… which might create the need for a new tax on games. Thirdly, with the industry growing so large so quickly, I fear the foundation of the entire gaming industry might collapse on itself and the gaming bubble (much like the tech and dot com bubbles) will pop and alot of high quality developers and publishers may go under.

Now, that being said however, things could always get even better for gamers. With the high demand for games, more publishers and developers will come into the market, creating stronger competition; this strong competition will lead to higher quality titles, more original and innovative games, and perhaps even a price decrease to gain a larger consumer market share. The second positive scenario that could come from this is that everyone wins. Governments start to vie for more video game companies in their countries, new jobs are created, more original titles are coming out to stifle the influx of gaming sequels and ultimately world peace is achieved through the use of video games… I realize this last part is a little out there, but hey, a guy can dream can’t he?

Could you imagine the world’s first peace treaty signed and witnessed in World of Warcraft? Hey, it could happen sooner than you think!

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Swords and Shields, or Cyborgs and Clones?

When you’re walking down the aisle in the store, shopping for a new game, do you pick up Oblivion or Fallout? Are you looking to fly a dragon or a hovercraft, swing an axe into someone’s face or kneecap them with a laser pistol? This week our big question is… fantasy vs sci-fi?

I myself am not really sure which I prefer. I was at Games Day Toronto 2009, which showcases the tabletop wargame Warhammer and Warhammer 40,000 (and also the MMORPG Warhammer Online: Age of Reckoning), I find myself to be drawn to both equally. So to put my personal curiosity to rest, and hopefully provide some entertainment in the process, here’s my List of Why Sci-fi is Better than Fantasy (or vice versa). Enjoy!

1. Heroes

Sci-Fi: Solid Snake – Metal Gear Solid (I,II,IV)

The ultimate badass. Genetically cultivated to be the perfect soldier, armed with the most cutting-edge technology in the world, and resembles Kurt Russell in Escape from L.A. (but not in a copyright-infringing way).  Voiced by David Hayter, he has enough attitude for 10 Sam Fishers.  Sure, he’s not a cyborg or a psychic, but he can rock the SOCOM pistol and assault rifle to take down anything coming his way.  If his face-full of scowl doesn’t get them first.

Fantasy: Kratos – God of War (I,II)

The Spartan warrior who became the God of War, Kratos kicks ass and chews bubblegum – and there’s no bubblegum in Greek mythology.  Wielding the Blades of Chaos, he’s a mass murderer with 10,000 or more kills under his belt – including the god Ares.  Now, since we’ve all seen 300, we already know how unstoppably awesome Spartans are.  Make that a Spartan wielding magical weapons and armour, plowing through a horde of demons, undead monsters, and warriors of the gods on a quest to rule Olympus?  That’s pretty much the definition of epic.

2. Villains

Sci-Fi: Kessler – inFAMOUS

The mirror image of Cole, the hero of inFAMOUS, Kessler is a callous, driven, time-travelling superpowered fascist.   It really doesn’t get much better than that.  Kessler is the man who puts Cole through sadistic choices again and again, testing his morals and his strength.  With electric powers “similar” to Cole’s, and the personal mission to push the hero to his limits until he breaks or becomes just like the villain himself, Kessler is the guy we love to hate.  Plus, he kills puppies. Probably.

Fantasy: Sheogorath – Elder Scrolls IV – Oblivion

What’s better than a demon whose title is The Prince of Madness?  A Prince of Madness who makes you his champion!  Sheogorath is your mentor in Madness in the Oblivion expansion Shivering Isles.  Obviously not a stable fellow to begin with, turns out he’s waging an eternal war… on himself.  It’s the demonic equivalent of punching himself in the face just to prove how tough he is.  And once you defeat his Orderly counterpart, he dubs you the new Prince of Madness.  Being a massive narcissist, I would be remiss if I didn’t vote myself the greatest fantasy villain.

3. World/Universe

Sci-Fi: Milky Way Galaxy – Mass Effect

By far the most immersive and complex setting we’ve seen in a long time, Mass Effect really puts the perspective in a different shift as opposed to most sci-fi games.  Humans have stumbled upon the means to travel across the galaxy, not earned it over thousands of years. Rather than a Starfleet or Galactic Empire composed of 90% humanity, or even 50% humanity, we have a galaxy who treats our solar system as a third-world country.  Humans are interplanetary immigrants in a galaxy that doesn’t care.  Only at the end of Mass Effect do we see the role of humans growing into a stronger presence.  But as we interact with the various alien species throughout the game, we see disdain, curiosity, or hostility towards humans.  Maybe more hostility if you’re playing Sheppard like the biggest dick in the galaxy.

Fantasy: Tamriel – Elder Scrolls series (III – Morrowind, IV – Oblivion)

The world of the Elder Scrolls is so detailed and developed I’m surprised I don’t pay taxes there.  While Morrowind and Cyrodiil were both featured as the settings for the most recent games, they were each so intricate that they didn’t even need to feature the other 8 provinces of the continent of Tamriel.  Several different races and cultures ensure diversity, while the terrain changes from area to area (albeit not drastically). With countless dungeons and many towns to explore, this world sucks you in and provides a beautiful backdrop for the events of the story to unfold over. And if you don’t like it, you can go to Hell – seriously.  You can go to Hell.  Except there’s portals all over the world, and it’s called Oblivion.  But it’s basically… Hell.

So I really don’t want to make the call on any of these – I mean, I picked them, right? Do I have to do all the work around here?  I’d like to hear your opinions on whether sci-fi or fantasy wins for Heroes, Villains, and Worlds.  You can post your responses below.

Until next time, readers – Same Brett-time, same Brett-channel!

Cheers!

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Today boys and girls we will look at an issue that has been debated by almost every games media outlet.

It’s an issue that’s very complex and honestly deserves to be dissected by a careful assessment, backed by numbers, by a group of very well informed analytical minds in the industry.  Only then can such an issue be solved.  Assuming there is a possibility of a solution.  What am I babbling about, you ask?  The Wii and its hardcore following.

Notice I said hardcore following, not titles.

There are plenty of Wiis out there, in fact if we were to combine the number of Wii  units out there and then add up all the 360 and ps3 units.. The Wii would still have more units than them (not the ps2 and its monumental record though).

Granted titles like Wii sports were a pack in… And wii fit has sold amazingly well, but when it comes to the “hardcore games” which by definition are games that have depth and follow the typical gaming conventions that require mastery of skill, as well as providing depth and many layers to the game that a “veteran of games” can appreciate.
Hardcore games have also played another role, creating new art directions, pushing systems limits and creating more immersible and groundbreaking genre than you might think.

Sure titles like pixel junk and flower, world of goo and even Wii sports and fit are casual forays that create new art direction, game play implementations and over all, break new ground. But lest we forget what genre busting games like devil may cry, Resident evil 4, Call Of Duty 4, etc. have brought to the table? There are tons of titles that have pushed gaming into a new direction and caused some of the most delightful new creations to take light and become part of our gaming library.

This was apparent at E3, when show stoppers like Assassins Creed 2, Splinter Cell Conviction, Metroid other M, and Uncharted 2, showed us it’s never been a more exciting time to be a gamer.

But now I’m getting sidetracked, it’s not about hardcore gaming, its all about the Wii and its hardcore following.
I know many people who own a Wii; in fact of the 25 on my Wii message list only 6 are active online players. The rest seem to side with the other systems of choice.  This saddens me since these people are not only missing out on some of the best games out there but they are holding back Nintendo and the third party Wii devs  from  investing in them for a reliable future in hardcore gaming. And lets face it, Nintendo will always make its key hardcore franchises for us, but it’s the shy third party developer that I worry of.

My buddy Roy is hardcore; he has all three systems and a PC rig decent enough to play any title… except Crysis.
Yet most people like him think the Wii is designed for their younger sibling, refuse to invest time into it and most importantly ignore some of gaming’s best offers exclusive on the Wii.

So, if you have a Wii…and an HD set, start by GETTING COMPONENT WIRES. If you can moan about the jaggy graphics then things will seem slightly clear in 480P. TRUST ME, it wont be as crisp as 1080p but it does make a dramatic difference.  So now with a sharper resolution and more vivid color pallet (since component has 3 video inputs) you might want to next invest in a classic controller for the fighters (smashers) or if you are hardcore enough have already some GameCube controllers lying around. AND THAT’S IT. Your Wii is set to accommodate almost any title that comes your way. Face it, you dished out 40 bucks for that HDMI cable for the ps3… optical out for the 360 sound… this is the least you could do.

Now then, go and pay attention to the COUNTLESS hardcore titles out there, support them, play them… BUY THEM.

Oh but I hear there aren’t any? And most of them are kiddy! And there is no way I will play a MARIO GAME!
Shut up, sit down and OMG you couldn’t be more wrong.

Here is a list of the top of my head… of titles I can guarantee most Wii owners, especially the hardcore system hoarders have missed out on.

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess
Zak and Wiki
Okami (Wii-make)
Resident evil umbrella chronicles
Resident Evil 4 (now with better aiming!)
Battalion Wars 2!!!
Victorious Boxers Revolution (surprisingly deep and fun anime game)
Guilty Gear accent core (the last we will see from the original developers)
MARIO GALAXY!
NO more Heroes!
House of the Dead Overkill
Madworld!
SSX Blur
Super Smash Bros Brawl
Tenchu 4
Deadly Creatures
METROID PRIME 3 CORRUPTION!
Boomblox
Da Blob
Rune Factory!
Trauma Center series!
Fire Emblem series

THE CONDUIT

you know what… I can honestly go on and on.
Go to any fan of gaming and check and see if they even have 4 titles from that list. I’m sure you’ll find they don’t.
The fact remains some of these titles innovate genres we have grown up with, most of them are designed for the hardcore in mind and all of them are stellar achievements in gaming.

See even I don’t own all of them, but I can say I’ve played and own a fair majority of them. These titles have made me realize that not all the coolest and most memorable moments belong on my ps3 or 360

Back when Mario Galaxy came out, all of my friends were stoked over Assassins Creed. GREAT Game BTW! But only one of my buddies saw how insane and amazing Galaxy truly was.  Would you believe we played the game for 6 hours exploring the physics behind the title?

So what I’m getting at is this, you own a Wii, DON’T WASTE YOUR MONEY. Go out and make use of the system, recommend good games to people, after all, gaming is a social event, even if it’s a single player game. We have all discussed games like GTA 4 to death and Gears of War, even if we don’t own the game.

Go explore the Wii, support some of its best third-party offerings and its stellar first party titles before you declare it a last gen system or something your younger sister would play.

Casual gaming will only last so long before even these casual gamers will require something a bit more advanced to enjoy on the system.

I commend EA and its new take on sports, providing this year the best sports titles appearing on the Wii, let alone any other platform. Titles like Tiger Woods 10 which is the finest golf game out there and Grand Slam Tennis.

Madworld was an insanely fun game, yet few have played or heard of it. The same could be said for No More Heroes, which now has a sequel in the works despite it’s ho-hum sales record. But titles like metroid prime 3 need your attention. It’s hard to believe this game did not sell well where its prequel did amazing on the GameCube. Retro studios did a stellar job and you need to play it.

I will go out and say one last thing. THE CONDUIT is out now. GO play it… BUY IT. Support it!
It’s the first time someone has done a FPS well on the wii (prime 3 was FPA…adventure) the team has gone and made a game that’s fully customizable and houses an engine that will leave you breathless at times. It truly is a remarkable title on the Wii… GO GET THE CONDUIT plain and simple. You a hardcore gamer? Love your systems? Have a Wii… then GO out and Buy some good games for it… EXPAND YOUR MIND MAAAAN!

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There are three things I love about this job: being able to talk about gaming all the time, getting a chance to play alot of the newest titles and write about them, and special events. Now, these special events…well, they’re very special. They could be as big as going to E3 (maybe next year?) or as small as a demo station in a hotel lobby. Either way, it’s a break from the ordinary and it can lead to very unique experiences (such as playing NHL 10 with Patrick Kane and John Tavares likes we did earlier in the week).

Recently we were invited to another special event, the E3 of the North as they called it. We got a chance to not only sit down with Matt Ryan of Nintendo Canada (along with other members of the Nintendo family) but we also got an opportunity to try out some of the biggest titles that were revealed at this year’s E3!

Lets start with the DS titles.

Professor Layton and the Diabolical Box was available, and while I only had a chance to play two puzzles (and complete them successfully might I add) I felt that this was very similar in puzzle solving and style to the first title, which by all means isn’t a bad thing. Who wouldn’t want more puzzles to play on the bus or on their couch? And hey, if you finish all the puzzles quickly, you can always download more as Nintendo will be providing more puzzles for free as the weeks go on!

You mess with me, you mess with my Phantom... and my choo-choo

I was also fortunate enough to try a demo of the upcoming Zelda title, The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks. This demo, while only sporting three scenarios to play with, showed me a number of things. First off, this Zelda takes place 100 years after The Phantom Hour Glass (the last DS title). One interesting new feature in Spirit Tracks is the ability to use the Phantom (a bady guy from the last DS title) as a partner to help Link get through the game, by drawing a path for your phantom to follow, you can use him to help you fight against new monsters, or protect you from the elements such as fire. As well I had the opportunity to play against a giant bug boss in which you utilize a new wind weapon to blow poisonous gas away from the bug’s rear (yes, we may all chuckle) to expose it’s weak spot. I found Spirit Tracks to be a beautifully animated title, which no doubt expands on the last Zelda game with everything you loved in the first one, brought up to a whole new level.

DSi ware was also on hand as players had a chance to try out Mario Vs. Donkey Kong: Minis March Again, the third in this series, what’s new about this title is that as of now at least, you cannot actually purchase it in stores. Minis March Again is a downloadable only game for the DSi from any wi-fi hotspot and loaded straight onto your DSi. By solving puzzles and figuring out how to proceed to the next level, players can create their own levels and put them online for others to see and play as well! Also in the DSi ware I had a chance to experience Flipnote studio, an application that allows gamers with an artistic flare to create short cartoons complete with artistic features in a flip book style creating one frame at a time. Now while I have zero artistic capability, I saw some previous examples of what was made, and with a little time and skill you would be amazed at the amount of detail this DSi unit can provide for animation!

Now moving onto the Wii, while I had the chance to try Wii Fit Plus, Wii Sports Resort, AND Super Mario Brothers Wii, I missed out on actually playing the Wii Sports Resort, which, with the Motion Sensor Plus, looked like a blast giving 1:1 movement for every swing and waggle of the Wii controller. In Wii Fit Plus I was able to cross off one of my things to do before I die because, yes that’s right, I got to fly across an ocean as a giant chicken! No, there isn’t any metaphor there,  one of the Fit Plus games has you flapping your arms and leaning to fly and land on specific targets with the final goal of landing on a boat before the time runs out. While I was skeptical regarding how flapping my arms on the Wii Balance Board would work, it actually did as every flap of my own arms was registered into the game and even flapping backwards to slow my speed worked! Now, while I landed near centre of every target and was told I did a great job, I later saw a toddler who couldn’t have been older than 6 years of age shatter my North of E3 chicken flying record with ease… my how the mighty have fallen.

Sure it looks cool... but where's the giant chicken?

Super Mario Brothers. A name so famous, if you asked 100 people I would wager at least 75% of them knew of the Super Mario Brothers, and as such, Nintnedo has found yet another way for us gamers to enjoy their company. This time however, Nintendo has found a way to mix the old with the new. In what seems to me to be a mix of the recent DS New Super Mario Brothers title and the Wii Capabilities, Super Mario Brothers Wii is a 2D side scrolling title very so much like the original Mario games of the NES days with new bad guys (as well as old favourites), new powerups (as well as old favourites), and new motion controls (shake the wii-mote to make your character do a spin jump). This New mario title however, has something no past Mario title has before though… are you ready for it? wait for it… here it comes, FOUR PLAYER CO-OP! and not in the sense that four players can wait and take turns playing like past Mario games, but that four players can play together AT THE SAME TIME! Now, this leads to very new and exciting dynamics in the game as players can work together to progress through the title, or compete with one another to get the most points by jumping on each other, throwing each other, or with the help of everyone’s rideable dinosaur, eat each other via Yoshi tounge! Playing with Matt from Nintendo, his associate, and Jennifer from andPOP we got right into the four player chaos holding the Wii-mote on it’s side like an old school NES Nintendo controller, we soon found out that this was as far from old school as possible as Mario, Luigi, Blue Toad, and Yellow Toad starting running around in a chaotic motion trying to outplay each other and survive to make it to the end of the level. 20 minutes flew by before we relized it and one thing was certain, this game was fun for everyone… and addictive as I didn’t want to stop playing any time soon. As each level ends, players tally up their scores to see who played best for bragging rights as well as to target that player in the next level as a threat to your all time high score. By far in my opinion Super Mario Wii was the highlight of this event and I can’t wait for some good old four player chaos on my couch with some competitive buddies.

So there you have it, the inner workings of a gaming sneak preview. Full of all the whimsy and magic gamers expected from closed door gaming events, I would be lying if I said it wasn’t a blast to be there, but hey, it’s only a preview and before we all know it, these games will be hitting retail shelves across North America!

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What’s your favourite game? I know, it’s a tough question to answer for some of us, and a question I get asked almost every time I have an interview regarding any form of game related activities. In fact, it’s such a difficult question for me to answer that I often ask people I interview for andPOP positions just to watch them squirm as much as I do when I have to come up with a quick meaningful response. Do you base your answer on memory? What’s popular at the time? Do you want to sound sophisticated so you refer to some obscure art title? What if the game you say is your favourite turns out to be a personal worst for the person asking you? With such a simple question comes so much drama, and to a point, it gets a little ridiculous.

Personally I would probably have to say my all time favourite video game would have to be Punch Out for the original Nintendo… or Final Fantasy 7 for the Playstation… or Metal Gear Solid for the Playstation… or General Chaos for the Sega Genesis… or the latest Smash Bros title. At least I can narrow down my choices to my top five favourites of all time. Why did these become my favourites?

Punch Out was always a quick fun pick me up that never got old, and was challenging enough that from time to time I would make it all the way to the final boss (Mike Tyson or Mr. Dream) but believe it or not, I never tried the new remake on the Wii (I guess I don’t want to tarnish my memories of such a great game). FF7 had a great story and more side quests than an aging wizard can shake his wand at, with such character growth and connection in this long lasting RPG, it’s easy to see why it’s on a lot of other people’s top 5 games as well. Metal Gear Solid (another Playstation one title) was like an interactive movie, but not only that, a really amazing interactive movie! Hideo Kojima just had a way of telling a story with such beautiful graphics, compelling deep characters and an amazing script I’m still amazed it hasn’t been adapted into a film yet.

Obscure? Maybe... Awesome? Definitley!

General Chaos was a little known game on the Genesis published by Electronic Arts (EA) in 1994 which pits you, General Chaos against your rival General Havoc in a battle for army supremacy; What I enjoyed most about a title like this was the simple customization of soldiers you could have well before the time of RTS’ really took hold. And Finally, Super Smash Bros. has always been the ultimate party game, what’s not to love? Fast paced action packed fighting of your favourite Nintendo characters using in game weapons to kick some ass! Where else could you find Pikachu picking up a fire flower to toast Link or Luigi unleashing a Metroid on Donkey Kong? It was like a dream I had over and over again materialized into a great game to sit around with friends and create smack talk around.

So there you have it, my top five games of all time, what are yours?

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