Movie sequels occasionally work if the script is a thoughtful continuation of the first film, but if they’re done badly, they end up recycling old storylines with a D-list cast for a quick buck. Then there are those sequels that are so bad, the movie studio tucks them into a deep, dark abyss of an alleyway to prevent you from seeing them. These are their stories.
Mean Girls 2
Despite multiple offers by Paramount to write the sequel, Tina Fey distanced herself from the monstrosity that is Mean Girls 2. The only actor who returned to the franchise was Tim Meadows, who played Principal Duvall. Coincidentally (or not?), he’s also starring in another upcoming sequel — Grown Ups 2. No surprise, the first 25 seconds of the trailer is swallowed by our favourite moments from the original film, because the new script doesn’t have two legs to stand on. The plot is essentially the same as the first, except Cady is replaced by Jo, a 17-year-old tomboy who lives with her father, and the lead Plastic is brunette instead of blonde. WOAH, slow down Mean Girls 2, you’re blowing my mind.
Legally Blondes
I was OBSESSED with Reese Witherspoon’s Legally Blonde when it came out in 2001 and watched it every year before school started. It was a tradition, so don’t JUDGE me thank you. That’s why it hurts my fragile soul to hear the Oscar-winning actress and blonde bombshell thought producing Legally Blondes (notice the plurality) would be a smart idea even after the failure of Legally Blonde 2 — the whole thing reeks of irony. In this stand alone triquel, the youngest cousins of Elle Woods must defend themselves when their school’s reigning forces frame them for a crime. The randomly British twins find strength in their Chihuahuas and use the school code to defend their pink-dominated wardrobe. Amurca’s about freedom of choice y’all.
Titanic II Read more…
UPDATE: ENTER TO WIN TWO PAIRS OF TICKETS TO SEE OLLY MURS LIVE IN TORONTO ON MAY 1ST. SEE CONTEST DETAILS HERE!
I’m crouched in an office, mid-morning, with my cellphone cradled between my arm and shoulder talking to Olly Murs about the CIA-drama Homeland. The UK singer and X-Factor runner-up, who’s making his North American debut this April, says he often throws the show on to help him relax before gigs — tonight he’s taking Nottingham.
“I’ve never seen Homeland,” I tell him.
“It’s soo good, you should watch it!” he raves.
I ask him what he loves about it but I’m met with an awkward lapse of silence. Before I mistake it for apathy on his part I realize the call was dropped.
I silently curse the Canadian blizzard raging outside my window (with no regard for my cell service) and wait for him to call back. FOR THE SECOND TIME. So far, our 10-minute call has been interrupted twice by poor weather, and he’s been nothing but kind about it.
“It’s okay, I completely understand!” he keeps saying.
Olly’s got a soft spot for Canada because Toronto was his first pit stop when he opened for One Direction during their “Up All Night Tour.” The guys were pretty busy most of the time so pranking was kept to a minimum, though there was that time Niall surprised him by doing his soundcheck.
Hours after a meteor struck Russia, Redditors and Tumblr users have already started making the obligatory Russian Meteor memes. The meteor shattered about 30-50 kilometers above the ground and injured more than 1100 people.
Do you think the memes are too soon? Here are some of the ones trending online right now. [Daily Dot]
Not even joking, this is probably the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. This tiny Namaqua Rain Frog, or Breviceps namaquensis, makes the most adorable little squeals. The frog is found on the sandy shores and dry tropical regions of South Africa.
The fine people at Clark Retirement Community wrangled up all the seniors and had them do their own version of “Harlem Shake.” I’m pretty much over the whole dance crazy but this is an exception. When I’m ready to check into a retirement home I’m heading to this one!
Guys, take note. This dude celebrated Valentine’s Day by handing out 20 roses to strangers on the street, in a superhero costume no less. “Whenever I see a girl walking along or sitting by herself, I’m going to ride up to her and give her a rose and ride away. I’m not going to say anything. Hopefully I can make some girl smile.”
Not only did he make all these girls smile (except one Debbie Downer), I’m pretty sure he’s making everyone watching the video smile too. [Chett DeLong]
Guys who have beards are usually quite proud of their facial fur. In their heads, they think it makes them look rugged and dignified — like they have fantastic music taste and can defeat a bear with their hands but at the same time, they just don’t give a f*ck.
In RhettandLink‘s new video “Kissing Your Face: What Women REALLY Think,” they delve into the truth about smooching prickly-faced men with “dirt masks.” Truthfully, I don’t think a lot of women really care about stubble and in fact, a lot of people actually love it.
Let them know your opinion with the hashtag #KissandTell!
Whether you’re a Valentine’s Day lover or hater, you should see everyday as an opportunity to prank someone. This dude’s significant other decided to sending him a very exuberant singing gram. That’s the way to do Valentine’s Day right.
If you’re looking for some chill music to listen to this weekend, check out Canada’s very own Julian Taylor Band. Taylor’s song “Never Gonna Give You Up” was a natural evolution from the music he previously created and the band’s first single.
The music video features the meticulous, step by step process of a drawing, featuring a long-haired brunette. The drawing is valued at $1000 and is currently up for auction. The proceeds from the sale will go to kids at Camp Ooch, which provides an active, outdoor experience for children with cancer.
You can find more of Taylor’s reggae soul-driven rock music on his Facebook page.
Everyone’s favourite Kid President is gifting you a special song for Valentine’s Day, featuring YouTube stars Lennon and Maisy, who are now on the ABC show Nashville. “If all your hair fell out and you were bald. If your right thumb got bit off by a large vicious dog. Oh I would still love you,” they sing. Wise words kid.
The young Pres wants you to share it with someone you love. Meanwhile, you can find a bonus interview with Lennon and Maisy here. [soulpancake]
Our host Simon Mohos has secretly always wanted to be on The Bachelor (wink) so he decided to treat the ladies of Degrassito a round of Speed Dating. The lineup included Annie Clark, Melinda Shankar and Sarah Fisher. First things first, he presented them all with a precious rose, before delving into a series of first date questions.
Find out more about each date below and don’t miss the return of new episodes of Degrassi on Friday, Feb. 15 at (9E/6P) and catch up on Season 12 online here!
Speed Dating
Melinda and Simon hit it off right away — though she knew he already presented a rose to two other girls before her and wasn’t very happy about that! She forgave him though and the rest of the date went off without a hitch.
Next up was Annie. Who can resist her charm and smarts? She said her ideal date would be going to the Science Centre, which definitely captured the heart of our host. Read more…
In the continuing files “Things Kesha Has Done That Makes Us Want To Puke,” she nonchalantly revealed she has in fact drunk her own pee. No kidding.
The “Tik Tok” singer is very open about some of the YUCK things she has done in a new MTV doc called “My Crazy Beautiful Life.” She says in the upcoming show: “I was told drinking my own pee was good, I was trying to be healthy. Somebody tried to take my pee away from me and I said, ‘That is mine!’ So I snatched it up and took a chug and it was really gross so I don’t do it anymore.”
Well… we’re happy she learned from the experience?!
Other revelation? Apparently lady smells bad — really bad “My fans are amazing to me but usually the people around me say, ‘You’re disgusting!’ or, ‘Put your pants on!’ or ‘You’re late!’ Or they say, ‘You smell weird, what’s that smell?’” she revealed, admitting, “I smell like a hobo. One time, someone told me I smelt like a shrimp on a diaper. I thought I could make a fragrance that was little like a shrimp on a Faberge diaper but I don’t know if people want to smell like that.”
In the continuing series “Beagle Versus,” Maymo bravely takes on a Robot Crab. When I say “versus” it basically involved the robot crab shooting its legs up and down while Maymo flips out, running close enough to put up a fight but far enough to run away. Previously, he’s taken on an orange and pretty much anything he can drag with his mouth. [crackrockcandy]
Just days after hijackers interrupted a TV station with a message that the bodies of the dead were rising and attacking the living, the House of Commons assured Canadians that the country remains a zombie free zone. Obviously a wave of relief swept over the nation, with the confidence that 1) Canada is a safe haven 2) As fans of The Walking Dead, our politicians have fantastic television taste.
More context: Winnipeg NDP Pat Martin brought up the matter of a government disaster planning exercise that used a mock zombie invasion as its premise.
“I don’t need to tell you, Mr. Speaker, that zombies don’t recognize borders,” Martin warned. Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird assured the house that he is “dead-icated” to the matter.
Being single on Valentine’s Day can be a little lonely so one prankster from RobBlissCreative decided to play a little trick on movie goers. He dressed as cupid and approached a couple women with a generic survey. While they were answering, an accomplice wrote a quick personalized poem with their answers. Then, Cupid recited the poems and asked each woman to kiss him. Most of them gave them a quick peck on the cheek but one went to town with le tongue. Is it a match made in heaven?
A long fabled story: A man moves to LA in hopes of finding a beautiful and active girl to party and hook up with. [Insert laughs.] WRONG. In DJ Lubel‘s new song “The Women of LA,” he recounts the apparent horrors of girls who won’t “f*ck you,” get sloshed, or shock, give you a handjob on a first date.
I respect him calling out girls who only sleep with commercially ”good looking” rich guys so it gives them a status boost or the Plastics who don’t have an original body part on them. And I know it’s meant to be funny, but COME ON. I don’t think you can make such a sweeping blanket statement. What do you think?
Here’s one for your cute files: And entire compilation of animals playing dead. While my dog was a genius with this trick, rolling all the way over to his other side for dramatic effect, my cat Farley never quite mastered it. I don’t think it’s because he’s not playing along, I literally think he has some magnetic forcefield that blocks imaginary bullets. So really, my cat is just extra genius for his out of the box interpretation of the “bang bang” trick. Compliments to Compilariz for their wicked new mashup. Previously, they’ve done compilations on why they love Russia and why small gestures mean a lot.
BUCKET OF SLOTHS from Lucy Cooke on Vimeo.
I always question how sloths survived the hardships of evolution. All the same, I really respect their perseverance because they’re ridiculous creatures in the best way. I’ve seen my fair share of sloth videos but I think this one of baby sloths in a bucket is by far the best yet. Prepare to die of cuteness.
It’s funny that Josh Duhamel and Julianne Hough couldn’t stop laughing during our interview with them, because the movie they were promoting is actually pretty serious. In Safe Haven, a young woman with a mysterious past lands in Southport, North Carolina where her bond with a widower forces her to confront the dark secret that haunts her [play sinister music].
Hough got a bad case of the giggle fits (or the dreaded giggle loop) during the whole interview, let us count the ways: While talking about her personal ‘dark’ side, after a potential “that’s what she said” joke and when she started talking about her “off the grid” name, Laquisha.
“Sorry for my laughing fit,” she said at the end of the interview. “Didn’t mean for that to happen.”
“Are you going to be able to cut any of that?” Duhamel laughed.
We couldn’t have asked for anything more! Safe Haven is in theatres Feb. 14 so you can see it with your sweetie on Valentine’s Day.
Whatever you do, don’t try this prank in the US or you’ll probably get some overworked mall cop tackling you to the ground before an actual cop or Homeland Security apparates with a taser. The prankster put disguising nude tights over his head to mask his face — usually a dead giveaway for a robber — and went into various shops to try and buy things. While the joke, posted on Woods Bog, was all in good fun, it definitely freaked some employees and shoppers out.
When he’s questioned about why he’s wearing the mask, he just says “it’s cold” or “it’s just what I wear.” The hilarious clip is from a show called The Chaser in Australia.
