(andPOP) - It was pretty naive of me to think it couldn't get any worse. Britney Spears cheated on the god among men Justin Timberlake, dropped out of her Onyx Hotel tour, married Kevin Federline, got knocked up not once, but twice, got divorced (again), went bald, attacked a car with an umbrella, showed her cooch in public, was accused of severe drug and alcohol use in her custody battle and fucked up what could have been the comeback of my time on the MTV VMAs. What's a hit and run charge on top of all that, really?
Yes, it seems Britney has been charged with fleeing the scene in a vehicular incident in L.A. Apparently, while driving without a valid licence, she hit a car in a parking lot on Aug. 6 and took off. The charges each carry a $1,000 (American or Canadian currency) fine and a maximum sentence of six months in jail. That's a grand place to squeeze the last drops of talent juice from her career.
Britney was photographed hitting a black Mercedes-Benz while leaving a parking lot in her own Mercedes. Britney got out to take a look, said "Oops, I did it again," jumped back into her car and sped away. The owner of the Mercedes-Benz, Kim Robard-Rifkin, filed a police report on Aug. 9 after telling paps at the scene that she hoped Britney would take responsibility for the bender. Um, Kim. You do know this is Britney
Spears right? This girl doesn't take responsibility for the vomit she wakes up in after a night of reckless and mom-appropriate partying. She blamed her lame-ass performance at the VMAs on a not cute mic. She ain't gonna own up to this.
"It was simply like my car didn't matter to her, my inconvenience didn't matter to her," Robard-Rifkin told CelebTV.com.
Duh.
An arraignment has been set for Oct. 10. Britney won't be ordered to attend because her crimes are misdemeanors. The court of life and fans would like a meeting with Britney, however, as her crimes has been both stupid and grossly indecent.
I think Britney really should consider naming her new album "OMG Is Like Lindsay Lohan Like Okay Like" as is suggested on her website. This pretty much reflects the maturity and sense of responsibility Britney has. And I'm not joking - this is suggested on her
official website. Other suggestions include "What If The Joke Is On You" (unlikely at this point), "Down Boy" (it's been down since you wandered a public washroom barefoot), "Integrity" (too easy), or "Dignity" (see previous).
Actually, Brit needs to sit down and update the list. LiLo is actually doing much better than Brit Brit these days, with the gardening and the separation from Paris keeping her under control in rehab. An alternate title could be "OMG Like Take A Guess At How Much Longer This Like Train Wreck Is Like Going To Chug On."
But I don't want to bash the Britters that much. I really don't want to be the
victim of an emo YouTube vlog from some kid with mascara running down his face hiding under a blanket. Remember to take a tissue under there with you next time, guy.
