Whitney Houston already has this covered. Her speed divorce from Bobby Brown has been approved by a judge in California and will be finalized on April 24. Bobby apparently doesn't understand that Whitney doesn't want to be married to him anymore and plans on appealing the judge's decision. It's like that ex who won't stop text messaging even when you habitually refuse to text back. Pathetic.
From one man who is pining away for his true destructive love, to another who is moving back in with his. Sexy, yet slightly flamboyant, Tommy Lee is moving back in with his lobster Pammy Anderson while his house is being "renovated." Props, Tommy. Of all the reasons I've heard guys give for why they should get in your pants, this is certainly a new one.
In other house cleaning news, my precious Anna Faris (that chick from the Scary Movies and Brokeback Mountain) filed for divorce from her "actor" husband, some no-name named Indra. Let me take a moment to ask why Anna Faris isn't bigger than Britney Spears? If there was ever a sexy, dumb blonde who deserved fame, it's Anna.
Crazy Mariah "Mimi" Carey thinks she needs to add some more baggage to her life - about 38 Mexican lbs. of it. Mims went shopping at a Mexican orphanage a little while back with her lawyer, and sources say she wants to follow in the footsteps of Mother Angelina and adopt a youngun' for her own. May I suggest all Mexican orphanages be put on high-alert at this time and given a copy of the "Butterfly" album.
Ah, and love is also in the air this time of year. J.May and J.Simps were out in full force in Australia, "canoodling" for all to see. Now, I don't like either of these twats, but even I think J.May can still do better than Nick Lachey's old sponge. What do they really bond over? How tightly their jeans are hugging their crotches?
Know what I just remembered? In the upcoming Shrek the Third movie, Justin Timblerlake provides the voice of Artie, a young King Arthur. Ooo, I just got a little excited. J-Fly was out this week handing wads of cash to valets and looking steamy. The usual fare.
This is my token Canadian tip: Alanis Morrisette. She's not so cute, right? Right. I have to respect her though, because I have friends who are in love with her in ways you wouldn't understand. Anyway, she dresses up as another leather face (Fergie Ferg), parodies "My Humps" and is the rage of the Internet. Oh, Internet. Watch the video below. I think I'm actually in love with Alanis's version video, but don't tell my friends. You don't want no drama. No, no, no drama. No drama.
