(andPOP) - This week's episode of "The Office" delves into the sensitive issue of racial politics. Sort of.
The episode begins with Michael Scott bursting into Dunder Mifflin Scranton demanding ideas for what to write in the wet cement outside. Jim suggests that if he were "a real star" he would stick his face in it. Naturally, Michael loves the idea. The ensuing cement ceremony involves tin foil, an excessive amount of Vaseline, and a small drinking straw for Michael to breathe through. Definitely toxic.
Post face-in-cement ceremony, Michael calls a meeting to get ideas on how to energize the staff. Andy suggests a new and exciting outgoing answering machine message. Michael loves it and wants to go with an "urban theme." As expected, he looks to Stanley Hudson for suggestions. Stanley, however, has been sick of the black stereotype for about 3 seasons now, so he declines, and when Michael won't back down he yells out, "did I stutter?!"
Toby, in his typical SuperHuman Resources Man manner, wants this confrontation dealt with, but Michael insists that this is how friends joke with each other (i.e. "Hey you're poor." "Hey you're momma's dead."). That's just how it works. Dwight suggests putting the emergency plan (illustrated by an amazing chart emblazoned with the name "Dwight Schrute" in gigantic letters at the top) into motion, which gives him authority over absolutely everyone in the office, but Michael refuses, instead opting to ask stock worker Darryl Philbin (the only other black person he knows) for advice.
Michael asks Darryl if he's ever been in a gang and Darryl claims he's been in all of them, including the Latin Kings and
The Newsies. When asked how gangs deal with confrontation, Darryl explains a method called "fluffy fingers", wherein if someone gets in your face, you just start tickling them. Michael is fascinated, but in the end decides to go with his own strategy: "fake firing" Stanley ("it's like a
mock execution").
Meanwhile, Andy is putting his X-Terra up for sale, which he claims can help anyone get girls because so many females also drive X-Terras. Dwight manipulates Andy into selling him the car for super cheap, and then proceeds to vigorously wash the car in a provocative manner and put it up on Ebay in an effort to sell it for a lot more money. Needless to say, Andy's pissed.
Former employee and present superior, Ryan Howard, also makes an obligatory appearance in Scranton to give Jim a formal warning about his performance. This warning turns out to have been orchestrated by Toby due to his creepy stalker-level crush on Pam which caused him to scale a fence in last week's episode. Guess that
Costa Rica relocation didn't work out for him.
The fake firing doesn't go so well, even though Michael uses the genius line, "you are fired like a heart attack", which you know he's been waiting for months to whip out. Stanley unleashes a tirade calling Michael, among other things, a "professional idiot". This results in Michael sending everyone outside where Kevin expresses his excitement by exclaiming that "you have Michael in one corner and he's mad, you have Stanley in the other corner and he's mad...and that's about it."
In the end, Stanley agrees to at least fake respect towards Michael. In Michael's closing interview he claims that he "is a good person and sometimes good people get no respect-Rodney Dangerfield." This is followed by poor impressions of Rodney Dangerfield, Jeff Foxworthy ("if you don't get no respect, you know you're a redneck"), and an indistinguishable Asian person. Yeah he should definitely stick to selling paper.
