(andPOP) - Ryan Seacrest's fauxhawk is sitting at about a 4.5 on the pointiness scale tonight as he declares it the "toughest test yet" on
American Idol.He eventually informs us that it's Andrew Lloyd Webber week and we get the obligatory video clip summing up his career in 4 minutes, during which my mom exclaims that "he looks like the grinch!" And he kind of does.
The top 6 are introduced and Syesha Mercado starts off the show singing a song called
One Rock and Roll Too Many.
Wikipedia tells me it's from a play called Starlight Express which was apparently performed on roller skates. No wonder I've never heard of it. Syesha looks really elevated and I can't figure out why until I realize she is standing on the piano. Um, risky much? She doesn't sound as good as she usually does but Randy Jackson thinks it's her best yet, Paula Abdul tells her she's in her "happy place" and makes me want to watch Happy Gilmore, and Simon Cowell says theatre is her thing.
Jason Castro is next and he's singing
Memory from Cats. He admits he's never seen an Andrew Lloyd Webber musical, which is not even remotely shocking coming from
this guy. Andrew Lloyd Webber never thought
Memory would be sung by a person with dreadlocks and Jason Castro was apparently unaware that the song was sung by a cat. Nonetheless, he goes ahead with it. It's clearly too much for him as Randy calls it a "train wreck", Paula falls back on the "you made it your own" thing, and Simon gets to use his favourite wedding analogy when he says it seems like Castro's parents forced him to sing it at one.
Brooke White chose
You Must Love Me from Evita and has to re-start her song for the second time this season. While the first time was kind of endearing, this time it's just plain awkward since she has to stop the whole band. Once she gets into it she looks like she's in pain throughout the entire song and I'm not sure if it's because she's trying to look like she's dying (because Webber told her that's what's happening to the character in the play) or if she's actually literally dying of embarrassment. All the judges agree that the mistake at the beginning really threw her and ruined the remainder of the song.
David Archuleta is dressed like a waiter in some new, hip restaurant and before he sings Ryan invites a handful of random girls up on stage to hug him. He laughs awkwardly, because what else does one do whilst being hugged by strange children on national TV? He's singing
Think of Me from Phantom of the Opera and actually makes it into kind of a cool pop-soul song. Sir Andrew and my mom love it ("Wasn't that beautiful?! It was beautiful!"). As for the judges, Randy says he's the one to beat and Paula says it was perfect, but Simon plays the bitter British dude role and says it was one of his weakest performances.
Carly Smithson is up next and Webber advises her to choose
Jesus Christ Superstar, reasoning that "you've got to find a song that suits your voice, a song that you can live in, you can inhabit," and the English accent makes it sound like the sagest advice anyone has given in the history of ever. She takes his suggestion (obviously, he's British...and Andrew Lloyd Webber) and comes out rocking, although I'm pretty sure she's wearing a beaded rug that was previously displayed on my living room wall as a dress. Randy likes the outfit (this from a guy who was seen in public wearing
this) and says the performance was "good", Paula is basically incoherent, and Simon claims it was one of the best of the night.
David Cook closes out the show, choosing yet another song from Phantom of the Opera:
Music of the Night. The stylists have slicked his hair down to his head a bit more for this performance, possibly to make him look less rocker-ish and more musical theatre-ish, and he proves that he actually can pull off the musical theatre thing because he does have a good voice. Randy calls the performance a "hot, molten hot, lava bomb" (genius), Paula repeats what she's said to everyone else on the show, and Simon says he prefers David unslicked but that he did well with what he was given.
Jason Castro and Brooke White are probably at risk on results night and Andrew Lloyd Webber is set to perform. Here's hoping he comes out wearing those stylish red corduroy pants he was sporting throughout Tuesday's episode. What a stand-up guy.
