This is it: University. The place where enterprising students debate life’s deepest questions and great minds come together to change humanity for the better. Unfortunately, this isn’t always the case. Here’s a list of the top seven people you’ll meet in your lecture that will make you feel like you’re still in high school.
The Person Who Appears To Have Photographic Memory
This person takes a seat beside you, fires up Microsoft Word, and looks just about ready to absorb the “life-changing” knowledge that comes with every lecture. Yet, for the next three hours, this person will twiddle their thumbs, stare at the screen, and, occasionally… write a sentence.
Do they have some sort of hyper-memory, not unlike Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock? Or are they just smarter than you as they’ve realized that most lessons are useless and they’re only here for the attendance credit?
The Person Who Shows Up Late with Starbucks
While most people are uncomfortable with the idea of walking into class late only to have everyone’s eyes bore into them as the door slams behind, this person seems to relish it. There they are, ten or more minutes late, strutting down the aisle with a Venti Macchiato in hand. Priorities!
The Suck Up
This person not only raises their hand to answer every. Single. Question. But they also manage to hold on to that “First Day of School Peppiness” all year round. This is the person who raises their hand so often that the professor will start purposefully ignoring them while giving the class a pleading look as if to say, “Please, don’t make me call on them again.”
The Selfie Addict
You’re busy scribbling down notes (read: drawing funny pictures of dinosaurs) when someone’s MacBook camera light catches your eye. You think to yourself, I should warn them that someone is trying to spy on them through their webcam — but wait! The owner of the MacBook is now pouting their lips, tilting their head to the side! Turns out, they were just trying to take a discrete selfie. I mean, why else did they pay thousands of dollars to be in this lecture?
It could be – 40 Celsius outside as it hails pelts of ice the size of golf balls, but this diva will walk into your class with spikey $600 Louboutins on their feet and a giant designer purse with all their school supplies stuffed into it (never a backpack!). On one hand, you’re confused by their apparent disregard for the weather report. On the other, you admire their fashionable resilience.
People who ask stupid questions
This person can either be a burden (did they have to ask that question now?) or your favourite form of early-morning entertainment. They will ask questions such as:
“Sir, there’s a ‘they’re’ in the syllabus when it should be ‘their.’ Which one did you really want to use?”
“Isn’t it irresponsible for advertisers to use emotion in advertising?”
“Why does this even matter?” (Which is really just a thinly disguised, “I have no idea what class I took and need everything explained to me.”)
That’s just the tipping point and you’ll most definitely hear more of them throughout your academic career. Whoever said, “There’s no such thing as a stupid question” is an idiot because, clearly, they do exist.
The Smart People
On a lighter note, you’ll also meet incredibly smart, talented and inspirational people whom you would have never come across in your small town. It’s with them that you’ll make great connections that you can use for your career in the future. It’s also with this group of people that you’ll be able to laugh at the rest of the people on this list.