For an award show that’s supposed to be celebrating music, Sunday night’s Grammys was hardly a rock and roll affair. Host LL Cool J promised to deliver new classic Grammy moments but that promise barely came into realization.
This year’s award show looked like a good time on paper, thanks largely to its more concert-than-award show format. But to put it into perspective, the Grammys was as long as a Martin Scorsese film, but without all the fun.
The real highlight of the night came courtesy of Pharrell’s comically large Smokey the Bear/Canadian Mountie hat, and that all happened on Twitter. We’re sure the online smack talk would’ve been worse if Pharrell wasn’t so damn cool; he could wear a spacesuit and look dope. Luckily, we had many chances to get a good look at his hat as he also won a shit-ton of awards, including Best Producer (duh), Record of the Year and Pop Duo/Group Performance for Daft Punk’s “Get Lucky.”
So we may be slightly exaggerating on how bland last night’s Grammys were. Beyoncé and Jay Z’s opening performance of “Drunk in Love” was perfect. Her Flash Dance–esque routine was as sexy and risqué as the show was ever going to get. Pink wowed everyone with her live singing skills as she performed Cirque du Soleil-worthy aerial acrobatics over the audience. Paul McCartney performed with Ringo Starr for the first time in years (Ringo didn’t really have to do much drumming as Paul had his own drummer, but we’ll take it). Stevie Wonder, another musical legend, helped Daft Punk, Nile Rodgers and Pharrell do last summer’s big hit, “Get Lucky.” Kendrick Lamar briefly woke the audience up from their sleepy stupor with his high energy drum-bashing performance with Imagine Dragons, and we even got some new Taylor Swift dancing gifs to show for it.
Speaking of Swift, the pop country star served up a sentimental moment as she performed fan favourite, “All Too Well,” complete with new emotional piano head banging moves. When you feel the music, you feel it, right? Tears may have also seeped out of one’s eyes as Queen Latifah married 33 couples during Macklemore, Ryan Lewis and Madonna’s rendition of “One Love.”
Things got dark as 17-year-old Lorde performed her breakout song, “Royals,” with her signature zombie hand dance moves (which we love by the way) in front a screen that displayed photos of angels. Feel free to insert your favourite Doctor Who Weeping Angels reference here.
It also looked like Katy Perry was trying to convince TV producer Ryan Murphy that she should be American Horror Story‘s next Supreme with her witchy rendition of “Dark Horse,” broomstick stripper poles included.
As for the awards themselves, that too was also a boring affair. Everyone you think would’ve won because of their popularity did, and yes, that includes Macklemore and Ryan Lewis who took home four awards, including New Artist, Rap Performance, Rap Album, and Rap Song. While it’s great they have a song about equality, it’s a bit ironic they won an award for an album that features a song about their white privilege. Okay, so we’re a little butt hurt Kendrick Lamar and Kanye West didn’t win anything last night, and, despite his outspoken personality, we’re always going to root for West because he’s the Grammys’ Leonardo DiCaprio.
Daft Punk also won four trophies: Album of the Year, Record of the Year, Pop Duo/Group Performance, and Dance/Electronica Album. Pharrell largely did much of the thanking on behalf on “the robots,” which we’re always okay with.
Young Lorde picked up two awards of her own, Song of the Year and Pop Solo Performance. Her speeches were endearing as she accepted them in complete disbelief. Jay Z also had a great acceptance speech, telling his daughter Blue Ivy Carter that he had a “gold sippy cup” for her in the form of his Best Rap/Sung collaboration for “Holy Grail (feat. Justin Timberlake).”
All in all, it was a boring, predictable affair flecked with a small handful of good, but not great, moments and pacing problems.
Maybe CBS should look into hiring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler after NBC and the Golden Globes are finished with them in 2016. Actually, let’s not. I’d like to keep the Golden Globes sacred as long as Fey and Poehler are hosting.