/celebrity news

An Open Letter to Kim Kardashian

Posted on March 15, 2013 by

Dear Kim,

First off I just want to say congratulations on your pregnancy. I wish you, Kanye, and baby Kimye all the best!

Now I know this is not the easiest time for you. I can’t speak from first hand experience what it is like to be pregnant (nor will I ever since I was not born with lady parts but that’s besides the point) but I have heard that being with child can do crazy things to your body. Plus you had that recent health scare which must have been really emotionally exhausting to go through.

Also, being technically married to Kris Humphries probably isn’t making your life any easier.

So here’s what I’m proposing: that you take a mental and sartorial time machine back to the time before Kanye and Kris happened to your life. Don’t get it twisted! I’m not saying you need to physically go back in time before you were pregnant. However I think for your mental health you need to go back to a time before all that Kris drama, and then take your wardrobe back in time before Kanye’s stylist overhauled your closet.


I’m sure you’re enjoying going to Paris Fashion Week and hobnobbing with Jay-Z and Beyoncé, but I think it’s safe to say your wardrobe needs to be reset. Like I said in my article on celebrity fashion lines, “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.” Kanye might elevate your Hollywood status, but he can’t help you fashion-wise since Anna Wintour still won’t let you attend the Met Ball (a.k.a. the fashion Oscars). Yeah you might be dressing a little more sophisticated and a lot less overtly sexy, but it just seems like a massive personality overhaul as well. Perhaps until Kanye becomes a full fledged and critically praised fashion designer, then you should take his advice.

So here are some evidence of your fashion WTFs since being Kanye-fied:

1. Peplum snake print (?!!) pants

3. Whatever this is:

3. All black pantsuit (good try)

4. Mesh monstrosity

5. print maxi dress

I’m sorry but the outfits he dressed you in in this video just don’t work!

Granted it’s not easy dressing a pregnant body (which should be a memo given to Kanye since he dresses you) but it would be nice if you reintroduced colours into your life. Overall letting your boyfriend control your entire look just seems creepy and dehumanizing, which is crazy since you’re actually carrying a human inside your body.

You are not some dress up doll. You’re a grown woman capable of making your own sartorial choices.

All my best,

Sophall

PS: Those blood facials need to stop!

Search

Related Posts