This week’s episode did not disappoint on any level. Nick and Schmidt celebrated their ten-year anniversary (their tinaversary) and decided to celebrate by throwing a huge party with an interesting theme. The self-proclaimed Bert and Ernie have been roommates since college and when they shared the milestone with their friends, things got real.
Here are five things that went down this week:
1. He liked it, so he put a ring on it.
Cece’s engaged! Shivrang popped the question, Cece said yes, and it all went down right in front of Schmidt. In true Schmidt fashion he walked off, heartbroken, to later tell Nick he thought he was “going to be the one to bang her for the rest of her life.” I think Nick speaks for everyone when he replied. “We all did, man.” Fear not though, Schmece fans (did that work? Can we make this catch on? It’s a lot more difficult to Branjelina names like that, alright?)! A date for their upcoming nuptials hasn’t been set and the season isn’t over yet.
2. Winston’s cock-blocking.
“I don’t have game, and I can take away game.” Winston tries his best to keep Jess from getting to Jax McTavish (Steve Howey of Shameless and Reba), safety for the San Francisco 49ers, but to no avail. It’s hilarious to watch him try though! Jax shoots himself in the foot though with a couple of absolutely hilarious meltdowns and inappropriately premature proclamations of love. Hearing Jax wailing in the background when Cece and Jess were talking? I can’t even. Well done, sir. Well done.
3. Moustachioed Nick and fat Schmidt.
I almost have no words. Almost. It’s not the first time in the series we’ve been given a peek via flashback to Nick and Schmidt’s college days, but this episode gave us a much better look. Between the tie-dye and comparison of how many girls neither of them were getting, it was almost too much. I have to say, if they were to do a spin-off-ey, flashback-ey show with the two of them back in the day, I wouldn’t change the channel. Also, scream out “We’re equals!” when toasting a friend is going to have to become a thing.
4. Nick’s newest addition to the endless list of bad ideas.
His investment this week? Port-a-potty. Nick is given the responsibility to rent a port-a-potty for the party, but instead shows up with a broken down, repulsive one no one wants to use that the “small business owner” bought for $60. YOU HAD ONE JOB!
5. Nick and Jess will they/won’t they.
This episode there wasn’t a whole lot of progression between the two other than the typical yearning looks and tension-filled conversations. The episode opens with Cece and Jess talking at the kitchen table and Jess says, “I can’t stop thinking about his mouth on my mouth”. Get it together, kids. You’re in love and the whole world knows it. They’re adorable and Nick is the best. He’s hilarious and sweet, and just look at that turtle face! Jess needs to just jump on that stat…or I will. Yeah, he’s just a fictional character… I know that… Shut up.