The 80’s Hobbit Cover is Creepy & Other Terrible Book Covers

Posted on January 29, 2013 by

They say never to judge a book by it’s cover and I think we’ve found the reason why. This 80’s cover of The Hobbit is somehow simultaneously terrifying and hilarious:

I may be judging this cover a little unfairly considering I’m going to use some references from the 2000s (about 20 years after this cover came out) to describe what is going on. Basically, it looks like Saturday Night Live’s Horatio Sanz (as Bilbo Baggins and pre-weight loss) is in some creepy romantic relationship with the Green Goblin (as Gollum) from the Tobey McGuire Spider-Man movies. I also truly believe there is some weird The 50 Shades of Grey-esque relationship going on because not only is Bilbo carrying his elvish dagger, but the cover looks like it’s been done in the cheesy romance novel style.

Did I just make this really weird and creepy? Good because it totally is. But is this cover creepier than this one:

or this one:

or is just as bad as this one:

but it’s probably more aesthetically pleasing than this cut and paste job:

(Actually, I’m little offended by that one because the author’s name is Ronald Dahle which kind of sounds like Roald Dahl, one of the best children’s book authors of all time.)

It also doesn’t feature an AC Slater look alike like this badboy:

Unlike all the books mentioned above, at least we know that The Hobbit is, in actuality, a good tale. It just got a really bad cover in the 80’s. We should also be thankful that the art department for the film adaptation of The Hobbit, and the rest of the Lord of the Rings franchise for the matter, didn’t follow in the footsteps of this cover as far as Gollum is concerned. That is one creepy creature that I wouldn’t want hunting my dreams.

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