The latest news that isn’t really “news” and isn’t really recent either, is that Taylor Swift and Conor Kennedy broke up a while ago. Taylor, 22, and Conor, 18, broke up after a few months of dating, according to a close friend of Taylor’s, who told US Weekly. “It was just a distance thing. No hard feelings. They’re fine,” the friend said.
Breakups can be hard on the people involved but sometimes it can be tough for the zillions of fans too — especially when the said person sends you on whirlwinds of emotions after every breakup and new romance. If you’re having an especially tough time dealing with this one, we created a handy list of strategies that might help you recover. Except, you should never actually do them because NONE OF THESE TIPS will help you. Like ever. Except maybe the last one…
1. Tweet about your intense sorrow with the hashtag #TaylorKennedySplit or #ShameConor2012. Enlist other fans to grieve with you.
2. Trek to the most remote part of the Himalayas with your guitar, let your teardrops fall on your guitar and offer it as a sacrifice. Then wish on a wishing star that she’ll find love again.
3. Lock your bedroom door and spend all night drafting lyrics to a song for her next album. This breakup anthem will be called “Dear Conor” OBVS.
4. If you go into remission after their breakup, take the 100 percent scientific Taylor Swift breakup meter from her perspective. Then assure yourself that they’re never ever getting back together. Like ever. Here’s the chart:
5. Take a breath and remember that everything will “Begin Again.” And at least we’ll get a new song out of it.