Dear Mr. Trump,
First of all, I’d like to say thank you. Because of your latest angry rant against President Obama, I now have a reason to write a letter about how much of a lame d-bag you are. Clearly you saw this one coming.
Mr. Trump, you say that it’s necessary that the President “gives” his college applications and passport records to you. Apparently this will prove that the President is in fact a legitimate, 100% American-made man like yourself. You’ve even spiced up the deal with a reward of $5 million to the charity of the President’s choice. Toupée. Er, I mean touché.
I have one question, Mr. Trump — are you for reals? The last time you questioned President Obama’s identity, you got a cold slap in the face from the President with the help of our Disney friends, Mufasa and Simba. I doubt you even know who they are since you clearly don’t understand the concept of joy.
Mr. Trump, I feel sorry for you. Because when President Obama serves you a cold slap in the face: part II, I will be watching with my popcorn in hand and a pen ready to write an “I told you so” letter.
Watch the (lame) proposal here: